I had a momentary flash of anger until I realized what I had done. I had taken over and made decisions for her, decisions I wasn't entitled to make. A moment later we were apologizing to each other and laughing.

I looked at my watch and for the waiter. As if he read my mind he appeared with Christine's to go order. The last thing I wanted to do was rush her but time was pressing. Thankfully she was equally anxious to get back home. I

She was quiet on the trip back to her car. I pondered what to do when we arrived. The car looked fine and I had no excuse to remain any longer. She thanked me again and wished me good luck with my potential client and then surprised me by reaching up and kissing me.

Again I didn't want to let her go but she gently reminded me I had an appointment. I came this close to calling the client and cancelling but she gently pushed me towards my car and said she had to get her niece's dinner to her before she starved to death.

Laughing, I got into my car and waited to make sure she got off all right and then hurried to make my appointment. I had little time to think about what just happened. The potential client was quite pleased, especially with some of Christina's suggestions. We agreed to speak further and I told him I would try to bring the coworker who had made the suggestions he liked. I hoped Christine would agree as it would give me an excuse to see her again.

I was going to sit a moment thinking about what had happened until I realized Tony wasn't going to leave until I was safely off. Shaking myself out of my reverie I waved and drove off.

It wasn't a long trip to the small house Jessica and I were renting. Jessica met me at the door, curious as to why I was coming home so late and grabbing the bag from Brocato's while asking questions a mile a minute. She finally slowed down as she started in on the sandwich I had brought her.

When I told her about Tony and how he had helped me and then treated me to dinner she grinned.

"About time you met someone. I was afraid I'd be living with an old maid and her cats!"

I made as if to swat her and she just laughed and said she wanted all the deets. Kids with their phrases. I knew she worried about me. It was like I was the kid, not her. So I dished except for the kissing part. I wanted to savor that memory myself for a bit longer.

Tony's reaction made me resolve to find a local therapist. I had a lot to talk about and perhaps a reason to go forward. It wasn't just the kiss but that I was treated like the woman I know I am. Even when Tony was slightly condescending I couldn't get too angry. I found it funny that while I wanted to be treated as the woman I felt myself to be I chafed at the way I was treated at the same time. It came to me that most women probably felt the same way. It's not that I would be turning into an ardent feminist but I was becoming more aware of things outside my carefully constructed little world. My therapist probably would tell me it was part of the real life test, not just seeing if I was really a woman but seeing how a woman lived and thrived in the world. Yes I absolutely had to find a local therapist.

I wondered if I was overreacting. I certainly liked playing the dashing prince coming to the fair maiden's rescue but had I carried it too far? Was I really interested in Christina as a person and more importantly as a woman or was I just trying to show her I wasn't like those cretins in the office?

Thinking about it I realized I was referring to her. There was no question in my mind that I saw a woman. Certainly my physical reaction to her said I responded to her as a woman. She may not be complete but my animal instincts said female and I'd wanted her and that kiss said she wanted me.

I desperately needed someone to talk to about this but who in the hell do you spill your guts to about a woman who wasn't a woman yet! I had no clue so I resorted to the internet. I was amazed at all the porn that came up. Were she-males really that popular that there was a whole industry built around them? Was I one of their potential customer base? I had to admit some of them were hotter than hell until I saw the penis attached to that body. From what Christina said, at the moment, she was like that, a girl with a dick. Was I being crude to turn myself off her? Was I more like Dan than I cared to admit?

Then I spotted something that might help. They had support groups for family and friends of transsexuals. I didn't really want to attend a group meeting but maybe the person who led the local group might talk to me one-on-one.

I took note of his number. He didn't have Dr. before his name so I had no idea who he was or what he did but he certainly would know more than I did. I went to bed, my mind a jumble of thoughts. It took a while but eventually I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew the alarm was going off.

For the first time in ages I woke with an erection. The hormones had generally put a stop to that, but then I had been dreaming of Tony last night. Even though I knew I liked men, none of them had affected me like him. I just wish I had the proper receptacle for the member I had felt pressed against me last night. He knew, and still got hard.

I would have been upset if my therapist hadn't warned me that this might happen and that it wasn't a bad thing, just my body reacting in the only way it knew how. It did convince me that I would get the surgery as soon as the doctors would allow it. If I had the money I would have been on a plane to Thailand today.

I'm not sure if I can look him in the face today. Maybe he won't be around, maybe he's come to his senses and will avoid me like the rest of the staff. For once I was thankful for my little corner office where I'd been hidden away like the ugly stepchild. I'm not sure he even knew where it was.

I turned on the computer to check alerts on companies I'd flagged on the foreign exchanges. It could have waited until I got in but I needed a distraction to calm me down. There was; the first notice of an outbreak of a virus in China where several US companies had subsidiaries. The Chinese usually said very little about internal matters which said this was serious and would likely have a major impact. This was something that couldn't wait. I called up to Jessica to make sure she was up and left for the office, my mind churning over the possibilities and the effects.

Tony would need to know. I stopped myself. It wasn't just Tony, the whole company needed to know. If this was a serious outbreak hundreds of businesses would be affected and the stock market would be volatile. This is what I was paid for. I needed a clear head.