"Hello dear, guess who got off early. . . Richard Ellsworth Pennyfeather what the hell do you think you are doing?"

" You weren't supposed to be home yet. I was only taking a small break. It's not as bad as it looks. I knew you wouldn't understand. "

"I understand only too well. You've been keeping secrets from me. How long has this been going on?"

"Only since I got laid off from my job. I was never home alone before and it was just so tempting. It brightens up my day. You know I've been depressed since I lost my job."

"You're supposed to be working on your job skills training not spending your time like this. What if the neighbors found out? I'd be ashamed to show my face at the Ladies Guild."

"I swear I've been very discreet. The windows are shut and the drapes drawn. No-one can see what I'm doing."

"What if my sister suddenly dropped in. How would I explain what you're doing to her. You know she'd tell everyone in the family. Imagine if she told Father McGuire what you've been doing. You'd be saying Hail Mary's for weeks and he'd probably be quoting bible verses from the pulpit and everyone would be wondering who he was preaching about."

"It's just innocent fun. It doesn't hurt anyone."

" Doesn't hurt anyone? Do you realize how demeaning what you do is to women? Have you no respect for me? "

"You're blowing this all out of proportion dear. I promise not to do it again."

"How can I believe you when you've been doing this behind my back? Next thing I know you'll be down at the pub doing it. Have you no shame?"

"I would never do this down at the pub. Besides all the guys do there is watch footie."

"You obviously have too much free time on your hands. You can spend your afternoons at my sister's. You can clean house for her too. She won't put up with your behavior."

"I thought you didn't want her to know."

"She won't. I will just tell her that you are helping her out since you have so much time on your hands."

"You can't mean that. You know how much she dislikes me. She'll be ordering me around like a drill sergeant."

"Good then you won't have time to engage in such vulgar behavior."

" Please can we talk about this. Can't you see your way clear to forgive me? Your sister will lord it over me forever. And how will I have time to find work? "

"My sister is an excellent trainer. I'm sure she will sharpen your job skills. Maybe she will even hire you. I should have sent you to her sooner. You'd never have gotten into this nasty habit."

"How long is this going to go on?"

"Until I feel I can trust you again or you get a job.. Now turn off that filthy Benny Hill programme and get your pantied ass busy making dinner. We'll talk about this more after you change into your evening uniform. How can you expect to get a job as a maid if you watch programs like that instead of properly cleaning the house!"