She chased me out of the kitchen. I ran in the bedroom with her right behind me. She stopped and told me to take off my shirt so she could check on where I had been hit by the taser. I knew she was going to bug me until I did so I carefully took off my shirt. Sitting in the car and on the sofa had aggravated the dull ache. I heard her intake of breath as she saw the bandage.

"You're bleeding. Lie down on the bed and let me look."

I felt her climb on my lower back and peel back the dressing.

"Ugh, this needs to be cleaned and rebandaged."

She hopped off the bed and found my bathroom and checked the medicine cabinet. I heard her rummage around until she found what she wanted. From my position I couldn't see what she was doing. I just surmised from the noises.

She returned and climbed on my back again and began dabbing with a wet cloth to remove the dried blood. Then she applied some antiseptic that, thankfully didn't sting. I didn't think Christina would like being bucked off the bed.

She applied a couple of small gauze pads and taped them in place. She seemed happy with her work. Then I felt her fingers on my neck and shoulders as she attempted to give me a massage. I didn't have the heart to tell her she didn't have a future as a massage therapist. I still appreciated the effort.

It was a reach to get to my shoulders and I felt something else brushing my back, two somethings. She pushed me back down when I tried to turn.

"You just relax and go to sleep. I don't need you bugging me while I cook."

I realized this was a battle I didn't want to win so I let her continue her efforts. Despite her inexperience I must have fallen asleep. I woke to some tantalizing odors emanating from the kitchen. I threw on a shirt before I looked down at my egg-stained pants. Those had to go. So I took them off and put on a pair of sweats.

The pants were already beginning to stink and I realized there must be egg all over my bedclothes too. I stripped the bedcovers and gathered th them up with my pants and took the bundle to the laundry room.

I passed by the kitchen and peeked in. Christina was hard at work stirring something on the stove, her pert little ass wiggling to some tune in her head. She'd changed too, into a tee and shorts, very tight shorts. I stood there for a minute captivated by the dance, tempted to join her. The bundle of dirty things in my arms stopped me. They weren't the only dirty things that needed washing. I moved on before she saw me.

I sensed someone behind me. I turned and caught a glimpse of Tony hurrying away. I wondered how long he had been watching me. No matter. I turned my attention back to the stove and the sauce. It had been marinating for over an hour and smelled almost as good as my sister's.

Jess liked it but I knew every time I made it that it reminded her of her mom. She insisted it was fine but I saw the sadness in her eyes. She wasn't yet at the point where things like this brought back happy memories instead of sad reminiscence.

So I was taking the opportunity to share it with Tony. I had forgotten his family was Italian. He probably loved his mom's sauce. Several times in the past hour I had debated dumping the sauce and making something else. How could I have been so stupid!

"Something smells good."

I felt Tony nestle his fingers in my hair as he grabbed the spoon from me.

"And it tastes good too."

He tasted the sauce and then me and my lip sauce - I'd been sampling too.

"My mom would approve."

"Of the sauce or me?"

"Both."

I relaxed back into him as he said that. Then I shooed him out of the kitchen.

"No snacking before dinner or you won't get dessert!"

"Mmm, dessert. Can't wait."

He left me and I tried to turn my attention back to cooking dinner but the taste of him on my lips lingered.

The sauce could simmer a while before I cooked the meatballs and pasta. Now was a good time to talk with Jess.

I pressed the intercom button for the cottage and waited. I thought for a moment she might be ignoring me.

Suddenly the screen in the kitchen came alive. Jess had a bowl in her hand and I could see she had been eating.

"What's in the bowl?"

"Ramen."

"Ramen? I thought Tony told me the freezer was stocked with meals?"

"Guy food. Hungry Man dinners and Hot Pockets. I'd gain ten pounds in a week eating that stuff!"

"And the donuts?"

"Comfort food. What are you cooking?"

I tried to change the subject but she laughed.

"You're making him mom's spaghetti and meatballs aren't you."

My face must have been red from the heat as she smiled and I thought I should have called her on her cell.

"I wanted something filling. Neither of us has had much to eat today."

"And why is that auntie?"

I'd wandered back into the kitchen hearing voices.

"She was too busy talking about her new job with her new boss to think about food."

I didn't think she'd like to give Jessica the total story. Let her niece focus on Christina's new job. I left them to talk in private. I was sure Christina wanted to talk to Jessica some more about the new boy in her life.

I had some fences to mend. I didn't break them but I did need to fix them. Clients can be very fickle and easily take offense if they feel they are being mistreated.

I started with the ones that had spoken to Tanya and Christina directly. They were happy to hear from me and had lots of questions. The first thing I told them was I was back to work but with a new title and a new division of the firm.

A few had questions about the rumours and I told them straight out that, yes, I was seeing Christina. It wasn't my place to discuss her sexuality but as far as I was concerned she was two things. First and foremost she was a woman in my eyes and corporate. Secondly, her ability as an analyst, so good that she had been promoted out of the firm to work directly at corporate headquarters. I assured them that I would still have access to her analyses and, like before, use them to make the best choices for them and their goals.

A few weren't happy and nothing I could do was going to change that. It was part of the fallout from Rick's sabotage.

I still had a number of clients to call when Christina poked her head into the study and said dinner was ready. My stomach answered by grumbling loudly.

I thought she might have set things up in the dining room and headed there only to find it empty. So much for my ideas of a romantic dinner by candlelight. I entered the kitchen to find places set at the kitchen counter. Mom's simple Melmac™ dishes and ordinary silverware the extent of her setup.

Sometimes my mind gets ahead of the facts. I still barely knew her. She was still in her shorts and tee and in bare feet. I noticed her shoes on the end of the counter. She had obviously been trying to scrub the egg residue from them with little success. I walked over and picked them up and holding them away from me dropped them in the trash bin.

"Hey, those were my favorite shoes!"

He did it again, just like with my tires! I knew it was hopeless. I'd scrubbed as best I could but the egg had gotten into the fabric and they were a total loss. But they were my shoes!

He just grinned at me. God that grin should be registered as a deadly weapon!

"No shoes. I have you just where I want - in my kitchen and barefoot."

"So that's how you like your women? Barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen?"

" Well you're already barefoot, we'll have to work on the rest."

And just like that reality slapped me in the face. I could never be that woman. He must have seen my expression change because he just grabbed me and held me. He was murmuring in my ear but I wasn't listening. I was too lost in my pity party.

I kept hearing those words from men and women I thought were my friends, "you'll never be a real woman." Just a few words but they hurt like hell. I knew I was a real woman. I think Tony thought I was a real woman but it was moments like this that brought those doubts back to the surface.

I knew Tony didn't mean it. It was one of those 'it's not you it's me' moments. My new therapist had warned me about reading too much into people's offhand comments. It was hard when you were on a journey like mine. You tended to see pitfalls and traps everywhere and your trust in people was seriously damaged.

It was moments like this that I wished I could just forget Chris ever existed and enjoy it for what it was. Maybe after I was complete I could. I hoped I could, I prayed I could. If not my journey was for nothing.

Tony was still holding me. Still crooning in my ear. I didn't care what the words were, it was the feeling behind them that finally brought me out of my funk.

"Where did you go Christina? Please don't go there again. Stay with me here!"

I kissed him to reassure him.

"Let's eat before it gets cold."

Tony still looked worried but he lifted me on to a stool and then himself. Grabbing the pasta he dished out a healthy portion on my plate before doing the same for himself. I dished out the meatballs and sauce and he took a bite and smacked his lips and actually said, "mama mia, that's a spicy meatball."

"I appreciate the sentiment but you do know that came from an Alka Seltzer commercial don't you?"