I'd been debating how to get back home or to my car. I wasn't sure if I would get in trouble if I went back for it. I was standing outside the ER entrance when a human projectile came at me and literally jumped into my arms and told me to take her home.

When Christina said those words I couldn't help but smile. It was almost worth being tasered to hear them. The officer who tasered me just looked at me like I was nuts. Okay, so kissing the girl who called the cops on you and got you tasered may not be the most rational thing to do but he wasn't the one getting kissed!

That reminded me of something.

"Do you mind if I ask you a question Christina?"

"Of course not unless it's too personal like my age."

She giggled a little at using such a cliche. Damn she had a cute giggle.

"Remember the night we met? I stood a ways away because I wasn't sure if you might have pepper spray or even a gun. It never occurred to me until now but you don't have a taser in there do you?"

She broke out laughing at my question. It took her a few minutes to recover and then she reached in her bag and though she didn't pull out a Taser™ she did pull something else out!

"What is that?"

"A stun gun. See?"

Suddenly there was a crackling noise and the smell of burnt ozone in the air. I must have jumped a foot in the air.

Neither of us noticed the reaction of the police officer until he politely asked Christina if she would please put it away. The whole time he had his hand on his holster. I don't think he found anything at all funny about the whole situation. I didn't either.

Christina carefully put it back into her purse. I just stared at her.

"I bought it the day after my car was vandalized for the first time."

"I thought for a moment you might have something in your purse but it never struck me that you might really have something like that! I suppose next you're going to tell me you have a black belt in some martial art too."

"No, of course not, but I did take a self defense course offered by the local LGBT chapter back in San Francisco. My therapist actually recommended it. She had taken it herself and thought it was a good idea."

"You are wealth of surprises Ms. Bowman."

I decided we better leave before there were any more surprises. I followed her to her car. I was still moving slowly and she didn't realize she'd left me behind until she got to the car and turned around after unlocking the door. She rushed back to me and grabbed me by the waist to steady me. I must have looked half drunk.

"Why didn't you tell me you were so weak? I would have brought the car around to you!"

"I figured it wasn't that far. I didn't realize you parked in the next county!"

I really sounded like a whiny teenager. I think she was going to say something but bit her lip and just guided me to the car door. I was glad to open the door and sit down.

I considered the best way to handle this. Macho man next to me had just proven that in one respect he was just like all the other guys - he hated to admit when he was hurting. If I left him alone and he got sick he'd probably try to tough it out just like he had done in the parking lot.

No, I needed to make sure he didn't do that. I didn't want the police finding him half dead or worse in his house when somebody finally noticed they hadn't seen him. And somebody, meaning me, needed to look after those wounds on his back. After all he couldn't reach them. As I was the cause of them it was only right that I look after him.

I'd drive him back to the house and pack my bags and then we would drive back to his home. Then I'd cook him the meal I'd promised him the other night. I started humming as I thought about what to cook.

"You do know what you're hummimg don't you?"

"What, it's just some song."

"Some song? I only recognize it because my mom had the 45. It's Chapel of Love, so you must know the song since you're humming it.
"Goin' to the chapel and we're gonna get married."

I cringed at his off key rendition and tried to make light of it.

"So? Can't a girl hum a song?"

"Sure you can. I was just curious as to why this one."

"Well, while you were passed out we were legally married. Turns out one of the paramedics was a minister and married us in case you died so I can inherit all your money."

"God, I love your sense of humor. . . . You were joking, weren't you?"

The look on his face was priceless. Jess would love it. I couldn't wait to tell her. I decided to embellish the story.

"Jess can't wait for us to adopt her so she can live in the big house and call you daddy. Husband and father in one fell swoop. A shame you were sort of out it, except for the 'I do' part."

"Now I know you're joking. Jessica would never call me daddy, she likes Uncle Tony much better because I can give her gifts but not boss her around."

"Wait a minute! Uncle Tony? What did you two talk about last night anyway?"

I needed to talk to that girl before she got me in real trouble.

Payback's a bitch. I started humming 'Maybe This Time.' Listening to all those records with mom was paying off. I found I could think about mom with a smile on my face now. She used to sing all the time when she was happy. I'd miss her but I'd always have those memories.

I remember how she used to tell dad, "let's go make some memories," and he'd smile and send me to bed. It was years later before I figured out it was their euphemism for making love.

I segued into 'Memories' and before I knew it Christina was humming it too. And then we were at her house. I looked at her to see what was next. She surprised me and invited me in this time.

"I'm going to pack. Why don't you fill the cooler in the pantry with anything in the refrigerator that might spoil and put it in your trunk. That way I won't come back to a smelly fridge."

I was beginning to think getting tasered was the best thing that ever happened to me. I only hope it wasn't just guilt on her part.

I located the cooler and did as she asked. It was a good thing I had a really large fridge because there was quite a bit. I tossed the odd leftovers in the nearby bin and then pulled the bag to take out to the garbage can. I would have taken the can out to the street but she might get in trouble with the neighbors if the garbage can was left out at the street for two weeks.

I was going back in to see if I could help when she came to the door with a large rolling suitcase.

"If you take that I'll go back and get the other two boxes. Jess used the other suitcases for her stuff."

I stopped her and went myself. I grabbed the two large boxes and slowly made my way to the door. She had already put the suitcase in her trunk. It seemed we would be taking both cars. After I dropped the boxes in her trunk she shut it and went and locked the door. She ran to the mailbox and grabbed her mail and left a note. I assume it was instructions to hold or forward her mail. This woman was definitely organized. I had a feeling my life was about to be subject to a major change.

As I locked the door I considered going in and checking the fridge just to be sure. Then I thought about how that would look to Tony, like I didn't trust him to do it right. I hated people like that. I didn't want to be one of those people.

As we drove off in our separate cars I was still debating whether I had made the right decision. When it came to my analyses I had no problem because I always had facts and figures to back them up. Here I only had my hopes and desires to draw on and I wasn't nearly as confident.

It was going to be difficult for Tony and I to be together for such an extended time without one or both of us letting our emotions get the best of us. We would need to establish some ground rules. I was big on rules. Rules protected me, rules limited the way people could hurt me as long as I avoided places or situations where they didn't apply.

I didn't go to bars or nightclubs, even TG friendly ones. They may be friendly on the inside but they were also magnets for troublemakers who liked to break the rules. And while I desired a relationship they weren't the place to find one. Of course I didn't expect to find one in the company parking lot either but I did!

BANG, CRUNCH, HISS!

"OH SHIT!"

I can't believe I just rear-ended Tony's car! Why the hell did he stop anyway? Oh, red light. Here he comes. I wonder if triple A covers stupid. He's holding his neck. Now I've given him whiplash.

"Are you alright? Do we need to call an ambulance? I'm sorry if I stopped so suddenly but there was this big red light. My bad."

Sarcasm? Really? And he was smiling. Probably thinking, hell, I don't know what he was thinking. I just put my head down on the steering wheel and resorted to the one thing women had been doing for centuries in situations like this, I cried.

The siren interrupted my sobs. I don't know what I did but of all the cops investigating all the accidents in this city HE had to come to this one!

"Please step out of the car miss. License and registration please. And very carefully pick up that stun gun with your thumb and forefinger from your purse and place it on the ground.

So, you followed this gentleman and smashed into his car? Seems like a case of road rage."

I started to say, "it was. . .," when Tony said, "all my fault officer. I noticed the red light at the last minute and stopped. I realized I was halfway into the intersection and backed up without thinking and hit Miss Bowman's car."

"Is this true ma'am?"

I mean what could I say but yes after Tony fell on his sword for me?