I feel like crap. I think I love this woman and the very first thing I do when we have a chance to start over is to expose her to a deadly virus!
What the hell was I thinking? There I was in a hospital surrounded by doctor and nurses wearing masks and gloves. Even the security guard and administrator were wearing them. I knew they thought I might have the virus but all that flew out the window when Christina called.

I had always laughed about the saying that guys thought with their dicks. And then I did exactly that! Right now she wasn't the only one that wished their dick was gone. A stupid thought. I really didn't, I just wish I had been thinking straight.

The worse thing was when she kissed me outside I got hard again and I was embarrassed. Mom just died and I'm thinking about sex? I had to run inside. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a package of frozen peas and held it to my crotch. It did the job but then I needed an excuse to be in there and got the lame idea to bring her a glass of water.

And that's when it hit me. I can't go home with her. She has a niece, Jenni-, no, Jessica. I could give her the virus! So could Christina. I'd just screwed up both their lives. I had to tell Christina but when I said that she couldn't go home she'd gotten scared of me. Then when I told her about the virus she almost seemed relieved.

Then she said one word, "Jessica!"

I watched her face change as she got angry, angry at me. I didn't blame her. I was angry at myself. She shouted and screamed at me. I quickly put the water glasses down as she ran away from me. I ran after her and tried to hold her and she turned and hit me and kept hitting me. I crushed her to my chest to trap her arms as she called me names. I deserved to be called everything she called me and then some.

And then she was crying.

"What am I going to do? I can't expose Jessica but I can't leave her alone."

"Does she have a friend she could stay with?"

"No one close enough that I know of. It's partly my fault. They found out about me at her school and most of the kids stay away from her, even though who I am has nothing to do with her. You'd think I had some sort of virus and that she might pass it on. Funny, that now I actually might have one"

It really wasn't that funny but I laughed. It broke the tension between us.

I was still angry with Tony but I don't think he intended to put me at risk and I was at least partially at fault. Maybe if I'd actually talked to him on the phone instead of hanging up and rushing to the hospital he would have told me how his mother died and I wouldn't have come.

The problem now was Jessica. She was pretty independent but she didn't drive. While she took the bus to school and bought her lunch there I usually cooked dinner. And I certainly didn't like the idea of her being home alone at night.

I had worried about her the one night I stayed late when the virus news broke. It seems like the virus was doing its best to screw up my life. Now it was about to screw up my niece's.

"Maybe I should go home and just keep my distance."

"You know that won't work, not unless one of you was always wearing gloves and a mask. You'd have to sanitize everything constantly. I know, it was bad enough when mom had her first heart attack and caught pneumonia. When she came home I had to be careful because her immune system was weak. The nurse stayed with her while I stayed in the cottage until she was stronger."

He was right there was no way we could stay together without her being exposed. I wanted to cry again. I was angry again.

"So asshole, any brilliant ideas?"

I didn't mean to shout and say that but I didn't know what else to do. If it involved numbers and economic reports I could find a way but this? I had no preparation for this. Not only that, I couldn't go into work now. Even though I was hidden away in my little corner office that no-one ever visited.

"You can stay here."

"I'd rather stay in a motel. Besides, that doesn't help me take care of Jessica. Maybe a room next to me? At least she'd be close."

I knew as soon as I said it that it wouldn't work. Maybe a hotel with room service. I thought about how much it would cost for a couple of weeks, maybe more for separate rooms plus meals. She'd still have to get to school and back. I was running out of ideas.

I felt Tony's hand lift up my chin so he could look at me.

"Hear me out. I have an idea."

She looked at me hopefully, I could see the tears brimming in her eyes.

"Jessica can stay here."

"What! Are you crazy?"

"Not here, here. I mean she can stay in the cottage. It's completely furnished and has state of the art electronics including a scanner, copier, fax machine so she can go to school remotely. It's been done before for students unable to attend class. Or she can call a ride-sharing service each day and go to school if you want."

"What about food?"

"I'm a bachelor, the freezer is chock full of all kinds of frozen dinners and she can always order out and have it delivered."

"And where is the money coming for all this? She has a trust fund. I insisted that it not be touched once I moved in so she could pay for college. The fund is what convinced the court she could be emancipated as there was enough to support her until she reached 18. I'm not going to force her to use it. She gets a small allowance from it for clothes and personal expenses. I really have no control over the trust fund but the lawyer will release funds to her as needed. She's been good about not abusing the privilege, but now this?"

I had to tell her sometime. Now was as good as any.

"I'll pay for everything. It's my fault you and Jessica are in this situation so it's only right that I pay. And before you say anything, I can afford it."

Afford it how? He just got fired. His mom died and this house probably has a giant mortgage. At least I still had a job and I could work from anywhere. I could understand him feeling guilty but it wasn't going to help matters if he went broke because of it. I had to stop this right now.

"We'll pay our own way, thank you."

He laughed.

"This is just like your tires isn't it. You think I'm being the man and wanting to control everything. I'm Dudley DoRight and you're poor Nell tied to the railroad tracks. Well, get used to it. It's what us guys do when we're in love."

Oh shit! He went and used the L word. What, did he watch the Hallmark Channel? It's like every sappy movie ever made. I should know, I watch all of them. This is the part where I get all teary-eyed and profess my love for him too. Well, it isn't going to happen. Not now, maybe not ever.

"Slow down Prince Charming. You hardly know me. Just because you kissed me a few times doesn't mean we're some kind of couple."

"May I remind you Cinderella that you kissed me not fifteen minutes ago."

Damn, he had to bring that up.

"I also slapped your ass."

"That wasn't my ass and don't try to change the subject!"

I was going to have to pay my therapist time and a half to figure this out. Hell, I couldn't even see her in person either.

I just stared at him with my clenched fists on my hips just like my sister did when she found out I spilled soda on her prom gown. Thank God it was Sprite™.

"So how long are you going to be angry at me?"

"As long as your mom would for saying something so stupid!"

It was a low blow and I wished I could take it back as soon as I said it. I watched his face crumple.

"Do whatever you want. Stay, go, just do it."

He turned and walked away and I let him. I owed him an apology but I was so used to being the one wronged that I didn't know what to do.

She put her hand to her mouth right after she said it so I knew she didn't really mean it but it still hurt. Fact is if I'd said that to mom she would have slapped me upside the head for being a wiseass. And it wouldn't have been the first time.

The big problem was I was getting hard again. There was just something about Christina that I couldn't resist. I could tell myself she wasn't even a complete woman yet - or was she? I really didn't know. How would you ask that question anyway without it sounding crass? Maybe I could get a look at her driver's license. In Florida you couldn't change the M to an F without the surgery. I'd read that when studying to get my own Florida license.

I needed a moment away again. I wonder if I put the peas back in the freezer? Stupid idea. She might walk in on me. How would I explain that? I just headed for the bathroom. I listened to see if she was following me or for the front door to open. I smiled. I had my keys so she wasn't going anywhere quickly. Nothing.

The I heard a half-hearted shout.

"This isn't over."

My smile turned into a grin. At least she wasn't leaving! I figured I'd give her a while to cool down before I returned.

I finally got soft enough to take a piss. I cleaned myself up and went back out. I found her on her phone. She saw me and held up her hand. I paused and she quickly hung-up.

"I left a message for Jessica to call me when she got out of class. Hopefully by then we'll have worked this out."

I took some solace in that she had said we. I waited. I wondered if she would apologize or if I should just pretend she didn't say it. I was about to ask her what she had decided when she softly said, "I'm sorry for what I said about your mom." She said it so softly that I almost missed it. I wanted to hug her again.