I know I was glad she came, but why? She had pushed me away those weeks ago and it still hurt. I'm not sure I'm ready to have my heart ripped apart. I never really had her and now I wasn't sure I wanted her. Was she just here because mom died? Did she feel obligated to come?

It felt so good to hold her, to feel her arms around me but a part of me said be careful, be very careful. Don't let her get too close or she might leave me and I don't think I could handle it and mom's death too.

Right now I needed to get away, get away from sickness and death. I grabbed her and said let's go. She didn't hesitate. She didn't question. She just came with me. I didn't have any idea where I wanted to go except away from here. As we got outside she pulled up. I looked at her, wondering why.

"You can't drive right now. You're angry and you're hurting. It's not safe for you to drive. Give me your keys."

She held out her hand and just stood there, waiting for me to make up my mind. I sensed that if I didn't give them to her she would just leave me there. I realized I didn't want that to happen. I handed her the keys.
Her smile could have lit the darkest cave. I know something changed in that moment but had no idea what. All I know is I suddenly felt a cloud lift and I knew I must be smiling inanely. Mom was right, I had been fooling myself, thinking I could forget her. Mom would have slapped me upside the head if she had known I almost let Christina get away.

"I know why I'm smiling but why are you smiling?"

"You gave me your keys!"

I was missing something here, something very important. Unless she tells me what it is I have no idea.

"So?"

Instead of answering my question she asked one of her own.

"So, where is your car? You did drive here didn't you?"

I had to think about it for a minute and get my bearings.

"Somewhere over there, I think"

I pointed vaguely in the direction I think I parked my car. Christina strode off in that direction. I just stood and watched her ass wiggling its way away from me. I finally got my own ass in gear and followed, keeping an eye out for my car. Just as I spotted it and was about to tell her she exclaimed, "there it is!"

He handed me the keys! Even more importantly he didn't say anything. He didn't tell me how expensive it was, how I needed to be careful, that it wasn't like my car. He trusted me!

Sure, the circumstances were abnormal but that often brings out the worst in people. Tony was angry but none of it was reflected back toward me.

Where to go? I made a quick decision and asked where he lived. He said it was programmed into the SatNav and hit a button. A pleasant female voice started giving me directions. I resisted the urge to say it was a good thing it was a female or we'd probably get lost. Yeah, I told myself, I can be sexist too!

He didn't question my decision. He didn't say anything more so I talked. I told him we were going to his house so he could pack a bag and then he was coming to stay with Jessica and me.

That got a reaction. He looked at me as if to say, 'are you nuts?' I told him he needed to be around people and since he'd been fired he couldn't come in to work.

"When did you find out I'd been fired?"

I told him how one of his clients told me. Then I told him Ms. Lukes had called me because she had just found out. I told him she wanted him back. He said he didn't want to go back. I asked if he would at least talk to her.

He thought for a moment before agreeing. I had been about to remind him of what she had said at Brocato's but he must have remembered. I don't know what was happening back at work but expected there would be major shakeups. The very fact that Ms Lukes wanted Tony back had told me that, that, and the fact she called me personally.

In the meantime we had arrived at Tony's house. It was a lot bigger than I expected. I pulled into the circular drive and stopped. I told him I'd wait in the car. I didn't trust myself alone with him in the house. Nothing would probably happen. Besides you don't attack a guy whose mother just died for Pete's sake. My mind said that but my body said different. Then I remembered that I was different and it was like I'd just been doused in ice water.

He asked me to come in the house while he packed. I gave in as he came around and opened my door for me. Then he stood there and said, "keys, please."

I looked at him blankly until he said, "I need my keys to unlock the door." He grinned at me as I face-palmed.

I wondered if she thought I was going to take the keys and drive off? She shook her head and gave me the keys and actually slapped her herself with her hand. I guess she was thinking that!

I still didn't understand her reluctance to come in. Maybe she was a bit overwhelmed by the house. It was dad's crowning glory. When he knew he was going to retire he made sure to build the house of his and more importantly, mom's dreams. I think he would have built it in Jersey if he thought I would take over the business.

He was smart enough to know that the construction business had no appeal to me. I remembered all the summers I had worked as one of a construction crew. I knew how to build a house I just preferred learning about how to finance it. So, when the time came he built this house and sold the business to his senior executives at a fair price.

He wanted the name he had built up to remain untarnished. It's just a shame he didn't live very long after. I think he couldn't adjust to retired life. He took mom to Europe and on a couple of cruises and his buddies and former coworkers came down to visit. There were plenty of guest rooms.

Each time they left I think it reminded him of what he was missing. He found a few things like building the new church and some other civic projects but he had no hobbies. So, when the cancer came he didn't fight it as hard as he should. I think mom forgave him for leaving her too soon and transferred all that love to me.

Even though dad had built a small bachelor cottage in the back for me once he died I stayed in the house with mom. She'd tell me stories about things she and dad did and I'd tell her about things at school and then about my girlfriends. I never brought one home and that's how she knew they weren't the one.

Now I was finally bringing one home and it was too late! I couldn't help it, the tears came again. I just leaned against the car and cried. I guess Christina wondered why I hadn't come to the door and I suddenly felt her arms around me. She didn't say anything, she just held me until I stopped.

I looked at her and told her I was a coward. I should have brought her home to meet mom. The hell with what anyone else thought. I was ashamed of myself and mom would have been too!

The slap shocked the hell out of me. Christina glared at me.

"You are no coward. You may be a fool but so was I. You stood up for me and I turned you away. You were only being human. I don't blame you and I damn well don't think your mom thought you were a coward."

Then she kissed me.

I had promised myself I wouldn't do that and did it anyway. I wasn't going to let Tony run himself down like that. I should have slapped myself not him. The man just lost his mother and what do I do? I hit him! And then to make things worse I kiss him. I need to have my head examined!

I have no idea what was going through his mind. I couldn't figure out the look on his face but there was no mistake about what he did next. He pushed me aside and ran to the door, fumbling with his keys. When he got the door open he just ran inside.

I don't know what I was expecting him to do. I guess I hoped he would kiss me back. I stood there a moment and finally went after him. I owed him an apology. Now was hardly the time to lecture him or kiss him.

I still thought he needed not to be alone, even if I wasn't the person he wanted to be with. I followed him into the house, not sure what kind of reception I would receive. I didn't see him anywhere and wondered if I would have to search through the house to find him when he reappeared in a doorway to the side holding a pair of glasses.

"I need a drink and I thought you might too."

Great, now he was going to start drinking. I took the glass he offered.

"I hope water is ok. But if you want something stronger. . ."

I tried to control myself but couldn't as the giggle escaped. He looked at me like I was nuts - again. I was thoroughly confused by his actions. Water! The last thing I expected from him. I told him the water was fine. I wondered what other surprises he had in store for me. Then he looked at me sadly.

"I'm sorry. I can't come home with you. In fact you probably shouldn't go home either. And it's all my fault!"

What the hell was he talking about? I didn't like what I was hearing. I started backing away from him. He had me worried now. Maybe he was like all the others, or worse!

He must have realized I was scared because he backed away too. I didn't know whether to be be relieved or more scared when he said, "my mother died from complications from catching the virus."