Home Run

By Pamela

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Part 6. POST GAME WRAP-UP

In a phone call the day my parents were to arrive, Professor Taylor called to my attention that some small articles had begun appearing in newspapers about how a young female graduate student, named Martina, at Columbia had solved a major mathematical puzzle. “I want to give you a heads up in case your parents happen to see one of these stories.”

“Thanks for letting me know,” I said, “but that is not the sort of news that my parents are likely to read about.”

“Perhaps, but as a precaution, you may want to tell them about Martina before they leave for New York.”

“I think that would only make it worse. I’d rather let them find out when they see me. That way I won’t be signaling to them that I feel like I had something to hide from them.”

“You know best. Let’s hope that your plan works.”

After speaking to me, I passed the phone to Miriam who spoke at length with Professor Taylor trying to allay his fears that my parents would react badly. "I've known Martina's mom since college and if there is anyone who would be able to accept her son's coming out as a girl, I think it would be her. Moreover, Martina's mom and dad have long worried about his inability to socialize as a boy, so they may very well be thrilled that, as a girl, she has been able to embrace society."

I did my best to downplay my anxiety concerning my parent's reaction to my transformation. I could imagine them being angry with me and with Miriam, and I had visions of them taking the next plane home. On the other hand, I couldn't see why my rising fame as a mathematician wouldn't work to alleviate their fears. After all, I couldn't both do great mathematics and be crazy at the same time, could I?

I arranged to meet my parents at their hotel after they checked in. I told Miriam that it would be best if I went alone, which would allow their feelings about me becoming Martina to be separated from whatever they might think about Miriam condoning the transformation. When I knocked on the door of their hotel room, wearing a tasteful blouse and skirt, my dad answered and smiled at me not immediately realizing that the pretty girl in front of him was his son. I said, "Hi Dad!" and rushed forward and put my arms around him.

"Dad? Young lady what are you doing?" dad said. "Do I know you?"

"Who is that?" I heard my mom call out.

"It's some girl."

I let go of my dad and ran and embraced my mom when she came up to us. "Who is this girl?" my mom said and then "Oh, my god, she's Martin? Why are you dressed like this?"

"What in the world?" my dad said.

"I'm glad to see you mom and dad!" I said.

"Okay, Martin, is this a joke?" Lillian said.

"No mom. I've become a girl. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, but I wanted to wait until we were face to face."

"People don't just become girls!" my dad said.

"I agree, Dad, but listen to me. For a long time, I've liked to pretend I was a girl, and then I realized that I'm doing that because I am a girl. So, I decided that I just want to be a girl all the time. I got tired of trying to pretend that I'm a boy. I got weary of it. It doesn't fit who I am."

My mom and dad stared at me in disbelief. Lei in the adjoining room, then entered saying, "Is my genius brother here?"

"Hi, Lei!" I said running up to her to hug her.

"Martin in a skirt?" she said.

"He says he's become a girl," Lillian said. "Did he tell you that?"

"This is the first I know of it. It's so cool. Little Martin is a girl!"

"Actually, you can all call me Martina now. I think that makes more sense than Martin," I said.

"Martina?" My mom said, sinking down on the edge of the bed.

"And look, Martin, I mean Martina is wearing a bra! Where did you get that chest?" Lei said.

"I'm wearing breast forms. I hope one day I'll grow some real breasts of my own, or maybe a doctor can give me some."

"That's the coolest thing I've ever heard of," Lei said.

"Does Miriam know about this?" Lillian said.

"Of course, mom. She's done the best she could with me. She allowed me to talk about myself and what I wanted and felt, and she was supportive. She made me feel that whatever I want to do, as long as it's true to myself, I should be free to do."

"She didn't even have the courtesy to call us!" Lillian said.

"I told her not to. She couldn't have me trust her if she reported to you what I was feeling. I love Aunt Miriam and I couldn't stand it if you're angry with her."

"It's up to us to be angry with her if we want," Martin's dad said. "You don't get to decide that."

"Dear, before we start blaming Miriam for any of this, I need to talk to her and hear her side. She's a dear, dear friend!"

"Whatever!"

"Anyway, I'm so happy now. I love being a girl. I love feeling pretty and I want to be a loving daughter to you both."

"What about your professors?"

"Professor Oppenheim saw me in a fancy restaurant where I was all dressed up in a black cocktail dress and he didn't say anything at all about my clothes."

"You and Miriam dined together wearing fancy dresses?" my mom asked.

"She's a psycho," my dad said.

"The truth is mom and dad; I've been wearing mom's clothes since even before high school!"

"You've been wearing my clothes?" My mother put her hand to her forehead and shook her head.

"So, you see, Aunt Miriam is not responsible for me being who I am. She just gave me a way to better understand myself."

"So where do we go from here?" my dad said.

"Miriam wants to join the four of us for dinner tonight," I said. "Then tomorrow is the press conference."

"It's best if I first see Miriam alone," Lillian said. "Then maybe we can all go to dinner. How does that sound?"

"I'll take you to her apartment, and then I'll show Dad and Lei some of the sights while you talk to her," I said.

****

While my dad, Lei and I took a walk in the vicinity of Miriam's apartment, my mom went up to see Miriam. The two ladies sat in the living room and Miriam served a pot of tea. Lillian said, "Before I tear your head off, Miriam, it's only fair that I hear your side of the story."

"If there was a way I could have picked up the phone to tell you about your amazing son, well really, your amazing daughter, and her search for her identity I would have done so," Miriam said. "But that would have not been fair to Martina. I was her confidant. It was because I wasn't going to share what she told me that made her talk to me in the first place. And besides, your phone call shortly after she arrived encouraged me to do whatever was necessary for me to help her mature sexually. No one was more surprised than me to find out, once Martina began opening up about her sexual fears and ignorance, that she sees herself as a girl. For years and years, she's been playing a game wherein she pretends that she's Martin's girlfriend and has conversations with herself being both Martin and Martin's girlfriend. In hindsight, haven't you wondered just a little bit about Martina's masculinity? She has so many natural feminine qualities. The joy she feels when she unites her inner self with the clothing that goes with it, is truly humbling because I can see how happy it makes her. Until this summer, by being deprived of those feelings, Martina was afraid of girls and moribund with shyness and inadequacy. Now, she's alive and self-confident, besides being a genius."

The self-evident truths of what Miriam was talking about forced Lillian to bit by bit realize that she needed to embrace Martina for who she is, and not what she might imagine her to be. At more than one point, she teared up but at the end of the hour, she and Miriam embraced each other and renewed their friendship. "Don't worry about Martin's dad," Lillian said, "he'll fall into line once I get him up to speed with what we discussed."

****

I showed my sister and dad the parts of the campus that I often went to and then we walked through some of the streets looking at life in the big city. While my dad walked along lost in his own thoughts, Lei asked me about my transformation and she was especially interested in seeing if I regarded myself as being a girl in the same way that she identified herself as being a girl. "I can see that you don't look at boys the same way I do," Lei said.

"Not yet, anyway," I said, "but maybe one day, I'll want a boyfriend. Right now, I guess if I wanted a relationship it would be with a girl, so I think that means I'm sort of a lesbian. The one thing I know is that I want to be the girl in any relationship, even if it’s with a girl."

"Right now, you seem like you're maybe half-sister/half-brother. In time, perhaps your brother part will diminish," Lei said.

"I hope so," I said.

After an hour it was time to head to Miriam's apartment and we joined up with Lillian and Miriam. Lei and my dad were impressed by her expansive apartment. When I showed my parents and Lei my bedroom, they were speechless. "Martin," my dad said, "the fact that you were even willing to spend a minute in this room shows that you aren't a normal boy. Only a girl could even tolerate all this pink and lace and cutesy doo dads."

"I thought the room was a dream come true," I said.

****

The five of us went out to dinner at a nice restaurant. Considering how much had gone on that afternoon between myself and my parents and between Miriam and my parents, the evening went along smoothly. Everyone seemed to be on best behavior, and most importantly for myself, Miriam was off the hook for being blamed for my transformation. The press conference the next day was going to be an exciting event and after dinner my parents and Lei went back to the hotel to rest up after their trip and the emotional strain of the day.

Miriam and I went back to her apartment. After washing up I joined Miriam in her bed, and she held me tightly. "You poor girl, you've had such a day."

"My mom and dad were very shocked to see me dressed as a girl, but all in all I think they took it pretty well. Tell me about your conversation with my mom."

Miriam described her visit with Lillian. "Initially she was somewhat angry, but I made her see that I was in a position where I couldn't very well tell her what you were doing. In all honesty, I've never influenced you as to who you wanted to be - it's all been your own self-awareness that has come to the fore."

"So, she's not angry with you now?"

"No, our friendship has survived this crisis."

"I know its late, Aunt Miriam, but would you mind if we have one more home run before the ceremony tomorrow?"

Miriam laughed and said, "Of course my dear."

****

The press conference was set up in a courtyard next to the mathematics building. A raised dais was erected facing a hundred chairs where myself and my family, Miriam and many of the faculty were to be seated. Several reporters were in attendance to ask questions and a camera crew was present to broadcast and record the historic occasion.

Professor Taylor started the press conference by giving some introductory remarks about the significance and history of Harry's conjecture. He finished up his speech by saying, "I cannot overstate how honored we are to be in the presence of such an extraordinary young mathematician. Martina will now answer questions. Come on up here, my dear," and Professor Taylor waved at me to come. To sustained applause, I hesitatingly walked up to the podium. Miriam and I had had a long discussion concerning what outfit I ought to wear for my big day, and we had decided that I should wear a modest, beige sheath dress, so that I looked neat and unassuming. Underneath, I was wearing one of my everyday panties and bras and a girdle and stockings. Miriam had made sure my makeup and hair were nicely done.

I looked out over the crowd and thanked everyone for coming. "Before I answer questions, I want to especially thank my Aunt Miriam for all she has done in inspiring me during my search for a proof of Harry's conjecture. Please stand up, Aunt Miriam," I said. Miriam stood up and waved at the audience and sat back down.

When the reporters got an opportunity to ask me questions, they soon learned that it was nearly impossible to explain the significance of my accomplishment in laymen's terms. Thus, the exchange shifted to questions concerning my prior history as a female mathematician and to the role that Miriam played in inspiring me. It didn't take long before I was confronted with responding to the question, "Did you feel that as a girl mathematician you were not treated equally to boy mathematicians in high school or college? Was less expected of you, for example?"

I stared at the reporter like a deer in headlights. I wanted to tell the truth, but I was afraid of what the consequences might be. I looked at Miriam sitting in the front row who clearly had love in her eyes, while I could see my mom and dad rolling their eyes and shaking their heads. The math faculty looked indifferent and Lei seemed to be laughing.

I looked back at Miriam and then decided to take the plunge. I was only living once, and why live that one precious life afraid of being one's self?

"I actually wasn't a girl mathematician."

"When did you go into math then?"

"No, I was a mathematician, I just wasn't a girl."

"What are you saying?" the reporter said, with obvious surprise.

"A few weeks ago, I realized that I'm not a boy, even though I was raised as one. I'm actually a girl and I intend to live the rest of my life as one."

The sheer bravery of my answer, or perhaps foolishness, had the effect of leading my parents into finally accepting the fact that I was now a girl. For better or worse, I was their daughter, and they would be on my side, defending my right to be myself. So, when the press conference was over, my family, along with Miriam and Professors Oppenheim and Taylor ran to embrace me and make sure I understood that they accepted me for who I was.

My family and I then spent a few days enjoying the city together until my mom, dad and Lei flew home. By the time they left, my dad confided in me that he actually liked having two pretty daughters. "It was always troublesome for your mother and I to think of you as our son. This feels so much easier and more natural. I'm glad that you've come to see yourself for whom you truly are."

****

My coming out received more press than my proof of Harry's conjecture. It had the consequence of making me a celebrity, which I didn't want. Of much more interest to me was enjoying my last couple of weeks with Miriam until Penelope showed up. By declining appearances on television, or interviews, except for science publications, I was able to diffuse the most obnoxious parts of my notoriety. Within a short time, the only remaining consequence of my fame was the occasional greeting around campus accompanied by an obligatory "selfie."

One practical consequence of my proof of Harry's conjecture was that I was given a Ph. D. based on the paper that I was writing, and then a full professor position in the math department. The youngest and fastest appointment in the history of the university. Since I had no intention of leaving Miriam's apartment, the question never arose of my being tempted by positions at competing universities.

****

In late August the lacquer furniture for the guest bedroom finally arrived. I saw this as a signal of the beginning of the end of my glorious summer. I would soldier on knowing that my days with Miriam were numbered. On the evening before Penelope was to arrive, Miriam and I enjoyed our last home run together. When it was over, I said, "Do you think we could resume our home run's after Penelope leaves?"

Miriam looked at me with a pained expression and said, "You know that that is not healthy for us, but I'm not going to say absolutely not, since we never know what the future brings. However, I'll bet you that before Penelope's visit is over, you're going to be invested in someone your own age and you won't want to resume our relationship the way it has been."

Miriam's answer gave me a little bit of hope, which is all I needed to keep me from breaking down into a fit of crying. Instead, I shed just a few tears and decided that I'd just have to take each new day as it came, one by one, and be open to the possibility of making new friends. Certainly, I was meeting many new people at the university and who knows, maybe one of them could end up being someone I would fall in love with.

****

The next day, when Penelope arrived and Miriam introduced me to her, I felt a renewed sense of shyness. She was vivacious and pretty with sharp features and long dark hair. By coincidence we were both wearing blue skirts and white blouses. "So, this is the boy who stayed in my room, Aunt Miriam?" Penelope said laughing.

I wanted to explain to her that I was now a girl, when Miriam said, "She's making a joke, Martina. Penelope is just teasing you. She knows you're a girl now."

"It was all over the web!" Penelope said. "Genius boy mathematician becomes a girl!"

"Martina was always a girl," Miriam said. "It just took her a little bit longer than usual to realize it."

"Thank you, Aunt Miriam," I said.

"Well, I am very pleased to meet you!" Penelope said.

"And I've been so looking forward to meeting you!" I said. "I loved your room."

"It certainly takes a special kind of girl to love my decorations!" Penelope said.

"Martina is a bit tearful about leaving it," Miriam said.

"I feel bad forcing you out," Penelope said, "but you are always welcome to visit my room!"

"Thank you," I said. My eyes grew teary and I couldn't talk.

Miriam made up a pretext to leave us alone and I said, "I have a few more things to move out of your room."

We went to Penelope's room and I collected together a few skirts of mine and hung them up in my new room. When I went back for one last look for anything I had left behind, I said, "I really loved wearing your clothes. They are so pretty. When I first saw your dresses and underwear, I just freaked out with how much I loved them. And then later, Aunt Miriam said that you wouldn't mind if I wore your bras and panties and your dresses and I felt so close to you even though I had never met you."

"It really tickles me that you're a girl who actually appreciates my clothes. Usually girls consider me a freak of nature. They hate all the pink and the lace and ribbons. But I've always loved that!"

"You love being a girl, don't you?"

"Yes, I do!"

"And so do I!"

****

The arrival of Penelope caused Miriam and I to go through an almost surreal process of withdrawing from the tight emotional bond we had formed. Every night for a week or more, after I went to bed, I could not stop myself from crying with the frustration of Miriam being so close, but unattainable. Though I had no way of knowing it, Miriam also mourned our separation by weeping as she went to sleep each night. One evening in the living room, when Penelope and I sat on either side of Miriam, she put her arms across our backs and told us how much she loved us. The feel of her arm touching me rekindled my love for her and caused me to cry even harder when I was alone that night. Despite this very slowly diminishing pain, it was undeniably fun for the three of us girls to live together. Penelope and I became fast friends, and Miriam did not give any indication that she disapproved of this connection. In fact, she encouraged us to go out together to see shows and concerts and we obliged her by doing so.

One day when Penelope and I were sitting in a cafe talking, a young man at the next table recognized me and asked if Penelope would take our picture together. After she had done so, she said, "How often does that happen?"

"Less and less. I don't think it’s because of my mathematics that people recognize me. It's because of my coming out as a girl."

"I think you deserve to be applauded for what you did. It was brave. And wasn't Aunt Miriam wonderful in giving you a safe place with which to explore your sexuality?"

"For sure. Aunt Miriam is the most incredible person and I know I love her. It was also really lucky that Miriam had me stay in your room. My love for your clothes, and your decorations, played a big part in me realizing that I wanted to be a girl. How could anyone not want to wear such pretty clothes all the time!"

"That's exactly how I feel!"

We laughed and then Penelope said, "Does it bother you that you weren't born a girl, I mean as far as your body is concerned?"

I thought about her question for a minute and then said, "Yes and no. I think I wouldn't mind at all having a real girl's body, but my boy's body is useful for any girl that may want that, even though they see me as being their girlfriend. Am I being confusing? "

"A little, but I see what you're saying. You offer girls the best of both worlds, for those girls that are looking for that."

"Exactly."

"Aren't you going to ask me if I'm one of those girls?" Penelope said.

I blushed crimson and got suddenly very shy, since Penelope seemed to be peering right inside my most private thoughts. "Are you?"

"I love the fact that you want to be pretty in the same way that I do. I've never really had a boyfriend though I have kissed some boys. So, I guess I don't exactly know the answer."

"It's so nice that we can both be honest with each other," I said. It was becoming clear to me that I was beginning to fall for Penelope, yet it seemed scary to tell her that. Even though we appeared to be two girls dressed in skirts and blouses, and I felt like I was a girl, nonetheless, inside my panties I felt a boner forming. If I was honest with myself, I would have to accept the fact that I was attracted to her and that I would love to explore first base with her. I didn't know what Penelope was thinking at that moment, but I found myself looking at her for a sign that she felt the same way. I was now in the position that Miriam had talked about when I was learning about first base. If I were to give a flirtatious signal to Penelope, would she respond to it?

****

A few days later Penelope and I were alone in the apartment in the evening while Miriam was out and she said to me, "Which of my dresses was your favorite?"

"I loved them all just about equally, though I guess the one with diamanté and all the ruffles is my favorite."

We went to her closet and I pointed to the dress. Penelope took it out and gave it to me. "You go put it on and I'll put on one of my favorite dresses and then we'll meet in the living room!"

"That sounds like fun," I said.

"It'll be our Fall celebration!"

"Great idea."

"Let me give you a crinoline to wear with it," Penelope said, and she fetched a pink crinoline and handed it to me. "Put on your stockings and heels!"

"Definitely!"

In our separate bedrooms, we put on our dresses, makeup and did our hair and then joined up in the living room. We sat next to each other and turned on the television. Penelope was extraordinarily pretty, and I felt as pretty as I ever was able to. Our puffed-up dresses pushed up against each other's and I turned toward Penelope to gaze at her. Inside our dresses we wore the same size bra and our chests looked to be of the identical projection. We both were wearing panties and I didn’t know if Penelope was wearing a garter belt or a girdle. For myself, I had put on a girdle in the hope that it would help constrain my penis if it should awaken, and in fact, I knew that I had a boner concealed within my skirts and crinoline.

Since Penelope had suggested that we sit together dressed up the way we were, I felt for sure that she meant it as a signal that she was also falling for me. I decided that I would have to throw caution to the wind, and flirt with her in the hope that she also wanted to get to first base with me. At an opportune moment, I turned my face toward hers, parted my lips in the way that I had practiced with Miriam and batted my eyes. Here was my offering and I prayed that Penelope would recognize it for what it was. Penelope turned her head toward mine and our eyes locked on each other. She smiled as if she suddenly understood something, and then as my heart pounded in my chest, she moved her lips toward mine and we kissed. I was on first base with Penelope and I knew that a whole new world of love was opening up in front of me.

The End