[Saturday of Memorial Day Weekend]
The town was quiet that day. The next county was having its fair. This was the first of the season so a lot of the townspeople had decided to head on over there to enjoy themselves.

I was in the office doing some of the never ending stream of paperwork that a Sheriff seems to attract almost every day of the week when the front door burst open and a man in his 50’s burst in.

“Can I help you Sir?” I asked trying to put a smile on this rude interruption to my work.

“You dammed better be able to help me,” came his gruff reply.

The accent told me right away that was from New York but with strong Irish undertones.

“Where is he? That scumbag nephew of mine who seems to think putting on a skirt can escape from his family.”

I knew in an instant that he was actually referring to Kelly.

“I take it you are referring to Deputy Kelly Fitzpatrick.”

“That’s not right.”

“Well, that’s her legal name. It tallies with the name on her passport and other documents.”

“They are all fake. She’s having you on. She is really a he!”

I smiled.

“Who are you by the way?”

“I am the new head of the family. Donal Ronan O’Gara is my name and I come from God’s own County, County Galway but I have been in the FDNY for the past twenty-five years.”

“I’m Sheriff of this County. Matt Beecher is my name.”

Now that we had been introduced I could answer his statement about Kelly.

“I knew that Kelly had legally become a Woman. Her medical would have revealed if that wasn’t correct. As far as we are concerned Kelly is a woman.”

I carried on before he could reply.

“What is it you want with her?”

“He stole a lot of money from the family. Money that should have gone to other members of the family.”

The smile that was on my face disappeared in an instant.

“That is a pretty serious accusation you are levying at one of my Deputies. What facts do you have to back them up?”

He didn’t answer.

“I was chosen to be head of the family so that I could return to them what is rightfully theirs.”

“And what might that be?”

“Five point five Million Dollars.”

The amount stunned me.

“Are you saying that she stole it?”

“Yes. Yes, he did.”

“How?”

“By forcing his Grandmother to change her will.”

At that, my heart sank.

That was just not like the Kelly I had come to know these past six months.

“Why do you say that?”

“Why else would she give most of her money to my Charity and some to my bastard nephew. That is not what OUR family is all about.”

“I see. A bit out of character then?”

“Dammed right it was. So, where is he?”

Then I realised what had been troubling me about him. He was carrying a concealed weapon.

“Let me take some notes and then I’ll ask my Deputy when she reports for duty in the morning.”

“He’s not here?”

“She has the weekend off. I have no idea where she is.”

I did but I was not going to tell him. I reached into my desk drawer and pulled out my Glock 9mm.

“Now Sir, I want you to slowly remove that weapon you are carrying and place it on the desk in front of you.”

“Why? I have a right to bear arms.”

“Sir, that is indeed correct but not inside a Police Station. There is a notice on the door that you came through instructing you to declare each and every weapon when they come inside. You didn’t so… I need that weapon and then I’ll arrest you for carrying a concealed weapon without a permit in this state and for carrying a firearm in a prohibited place according to the law.”

The look he gave me was a look of death.

Very slowly he took his pistol out of the shoulder harness and put it on the desk. All the time he was staring at the business end of my Glock.

“Good. Now turn slowly and walk over to that door.”

“Where are you taking me?”

“To the cells.”

“I want a lawyer.”

“In due course one will be provided. But, first I must do my duty and put you in the cells. Then I’ll process you. Then we can see about a lawyer but I have to remind you that this is a Holiday weekend, so don’t expect so see one in an hour.”

“I am not saying anything.”

“That is your right but first, the Cells. If you please?”

I marched him into the back of the Station where our three cells were located.

Once the door was closed and locked behind him, I said,

“Right, your belt, shoulder holster and shoes. I am sure that you know the routine?”

After a disapproving grunt he complied with my requests.

“Thanks.”

“Do I need to read you your rights or do you know them?”

“I know them. I’m not answering any questions until I see my lawyer.”

“That’s good to know.”

“What am I being charged with?”

“Carrying a concealed weapon inside a Police Station. There is both a state and county law on the subject. The exact numbers will be on the charge sheet which I will prepare for your lawyer.”

He nodded. It was obvious that he knew the ropes.

“I have to process you. Fingerprints, mugshot and DNA swab. Any objections?”

He didn’t answer.

“I’ll have to wait for the deputy on duty to come in. He is our fingerprint expert. He will be here at the end of his shift shortly.”

All I got was a glare for an answer.

Back at my desk, I went through his belongings and itemised them. Once he’d signed the sheet I left him alone to stew for a while. I knew that Tom would not be back for at least an hour. I pondered calling him, but in the end I decided against it.

After looking at the mountain of still unfinished paperwork I sighed and pushed it aside and started filling out the charge sheet for my unwelcome guest.

However, my mind wasn’t on the task. I kept thinking of Kelly. I knew I had to do something about my relationship with her sooner rather than later.

Several times, I reached for my phone to call her but resisted. She was over in the next county at their fair. It was her first experience of such an event which even included an amateur Rodeo. I wanted her to experience it all on her own. Phoning her now would be a real downer to what I was hoping would be a very enjoyable day out for her.

By the time I’d finished the charge sheet, Tom had called in to say that he was returning at the end of his shift. This spurred me into action to call Sue-Ellen and explain to her about the prisoner.

“Can you take the night shift tonight?” I asked.

“That’s great. What time are they due back?”

“Ok. If you cover from nine, I’ll be on duty till them. Thanks Sue-Ellen.”

---

Tom arrived back just before 5pm.

“What idiot has parked their car over three spaces?” where his first words after he’d come into the office.

“It belongs to our prisoner.”

“Prisoner?”

“Came in here asking for Kelly carrying a concealed 9mm.”

Tom smiled.

“Oh dear.”

“Exactly.”

Then I added,
“Can you go move the car to the pound and give it a search? If he has one weapon, then there might well be more.”

“Sure thing boss.”

As he turned to leave I stopped him.
“You’d better glove up and if you find anything give me a call on my phone. No use broadcasting the fact that we have a guest.”

He smiled back at me.

“Sure thing Boss.”

Less than 10 minutes later, my phone beeped.
I saw that it was from Tom. The SMS had a picture attached. As I saw it, a shudder went down my spine. It was almost as if I was back in Iraq manning a road checkpoint. There was a veritable arsenal in the trunk.

I joined Tom outside to view the evidence.

“The Mak-10 is loaded. The 45 has hollow point ammo and there is about 1500 extra rounds for the Glock and the Mak.”
“So, we have him on the loaded Mak. Anything else?”

Tom grinned.

“I saved the best to last.”

He went to the front passenger door and opened it.

“I noticed that the panel was loose.”

With a huge smile, he pulled it off to reveal at a cache of explosives.”

“This guy comes well prepared.”

I just nodded. All this weaponry made me worried. It was clear that he’d come here with the clear intent not leaving empty handed. Thankfully, he was locked up all nice and safe.

“Carry on with searching the car but something is not right. It just does not jell correctly.”

“Boss?”

“If he wanted to kill Kelly just one gun would have done it. Why everything else? Why was the Mak loaded? Did he fear someone here or on the journey?”

“What does he say?”

“He lawyered up right away.”

Tom laughed.

“You explained that there are no lawyers available?”

“I did. He didn’t care.”

“Boss. That makes no sense.”

"I agree. But what is?”

After a second or so’s silence I added,

“Carry on pulling the car apart. I have a hunch that there is at least one more surprise waiting for us. What do you think?”
Tom looked at me with a wry smile and nodded his head.

“This sure beats having to go to the In-Laws for a BBQ.”

I left him to pull the Beemer apart. I was a little unsure if he could put it back together again but we’d cross that bridge later.

---

After checking that my prisoner was ok and taking his order for Dinner I went back to my desk and started to think about everything and anything and nothing in particular.

The whole thing was a mystery and a mess and just didn’t make sense. The only person who could make some sense of it all I really didn’t want to call.

Tom dragged me back to reality when he came bounding into the office clutching a large package.

“Guess what I found inside the back seat.”

“Drugs or Money?”

“The latter,” replied Tom carefully opening the package.

At least forty bundles of $50 bills fell onto my desk.

“Fifty G’s?” asked Tom.

“Closer to a Hundred.”

I picked up a bundle and flicked through it.

“Brand new with consecutive serial numbers. A Pay-off or stolen? What do you think?”

Tom grinned as he fished out a slip of paper and read it.

“Neither. According to this bank slip it was withdrawn from a Bank in Islip on Long Island last Friday.”

I almost snatched the slip from him and read it with bulging eyes.

“If this is legal then why is he really here?”

“I don’t know so why don’t you call her?”

“Her?”

“Kelly….” Then he added,

“Boss, can I talk man to man for a moment?”

Before I could think I said,

“Yes.”

“Bo... Matt, we all know that you are sweet on her. Why else have you gone to almost any length to avoid going on patrol with her these last months? When she comes into the Office your eyes go all soppy. Am I barking up the wrong tree?”

I knew he was right.

“Yes. Well, No…” I replied in little more than a whisper.

“So why haven’t you asked her out?”

I was lost for words.

“She told us you know.”

“Told you what?”

Tom sighed.
“Sometimes Matt you are real stupid. Kelly told us about her past and everything.”

“I didn’t know.”

“That’s because it does not matter to us. She is a very good deputy and a decent person. We aren’t in some redneck backwater you know.
What more do you need eh?”

I couldn’t answer that. Instead I turned my attention to matters in hand.

“Something just does not feel right. Here we have a prisoner who has not been demanding a lawyer and seems quite content to sit there in a cell. Why? What’s wrong with that?”

“I agree. Why did he some waltzing into the Station like that? He could have asked just about anyone where Kelly lived.”

“Call her then. He claims that they are related so what if there is some history?”

I sighed.

“Yeah, you are right.”

Tom smiled at me.

“Good. While you do that, I’ll put the car back together as best I can. Then I’ll be off home.”

“Thanks Tom.”

He just grinned back at me.

---

[two hours later]
Kelly came breezing into the Station without a care in the world.

“Hi Boss.”

“Good evening Kelly. I take it that you had a good time at the Show?”

“Yes. It was great. Well it was until I got some unwelcome attention.”

“Oh who from?”

“A certain State Trooper.”

“Oh, you mean Harvey?”

“Yes. Him,” she replied sternly.

“But why is he called Harvey? That isn’t his name.”

I grinned back at her.
“His name is Stewart James. Swap them around and you have James Stewart. Jimmy Stewart starred in a play and a film called Harvey. It was about a Rabbit.”

“No wonder he hates people calling him that to his face.”

“He threw a baseball at Coach once because he was called that for missing a catch in a crucial match at High School. Thankfully, he missed. I hope he wasn’t too… well, you know?”

“A couple of elbows in the ribs put him his place.”

I grinned back at her.

“What was it you wanted that you couldn’t talk about on the phone?”

The grin disappeared from my face in an instant.

“Go take a look through the peep hole into Cell no 1. Don’t say anything just look and then come back here.”

Kelly looked at me with a distinctly puzzled look. When I didn’t add anything, she gave a slight shrug of her shoulders before doing what I’d asked of her.

It didn’t take her long to return with a look of pure hatred on her face.

“What’s Lol doing here?”

“Lol?”

“Lol is Lawrence Monaghan. Loan shark enforcer, bookie debt collector and general thug.”

I had to laugh.

“What’s so funny? He’s a shit!”

I passed over the ID he’d presented.

“He came in here claiming to be head of your family and asking, no demanding to see you about a property of your Gran’s. Then I saw that he was carrying a concealed piece so I arrested him.”

Kelly’s mouth was doing the dying fish impression.

“But he didn’t resist. Tom then found that lot in his car,” I said pointing at the pile of weapons on the table at the side of the office.

“What was he driving?”

“A white 5 Series Beemer with a gold roof. Why?”

“Oh shit. We are in trouble, big trouble.”

“Why?”

“If my memory serves me right, it belongs to Viktor Lysenko. Lysenko is an enforcer for the Brighton Beach Russian Mob. They will be after him and they won’t take prisoners.”

That remark stunned me into silence.

A chill had suddenly come over the whole place.

“So, he’s on the run?”

“It appears so. But why would he come here and let me arrest him without a struggle?”

Kelly smiled.

“Because we offer a safe haven?”

That thought hadn’t crossed my mind but it made perfect sense.

“There is a hundred large over there. This must be his flight stash.”

Kelly shook her head.

“No why?”

“Rumour has it that he’s been skimming some of his collections off the top for years. It is probably in the Caymans or some other tax haven.”

“And didn’t anyone stop it?”

Kelly laughed.

“Lol had a reputation for getting blood out of a stone. If the alternative was getting nothing, then getting most of what was owed is better than nothing.”

“I get it.”

I thought for a few seconds.

“What should we do? I’m asking because this is not the sort of thing we normally experience around here.”

“I know and that’s why I love it here.”

"‘Do you think Lol is on the run?” I asked.

“What? From Viktor?”

I nodded.

“Why don’t we go and ask him? Can I do the honours? I have an idea?”

I grinned.

“Why not. You know him and he was after you or rather your Gran’s house.”

“Oh. That. It sold last month. My guess is that he wanted to extort some money from me in return for not telling my family where I am.”

“Don’t they know where you are?”

She nodded.

“Just my cousin Dermot. He’s gay but firmly in the closet. His sister knows as well but I told her that if she told on me, I’d out Dermot.”

“Blackmail eh?”

“Just normal for a large family. Secrets and Lies everywhere you care to look.”

Kelly thought for a minute.

“I really don’t want all the press attention we’ll get if we involve the Feds as we should. I have an idea that might get him out of our head but leaving most of his stash of stuff here.”

I looked at her. I could tell that she was serious about the press and her standing in the community.

“I’m all ears.”

[half an hour later]
“Well hello Lol. Long-time no see eh?” said Kelly.

Lol looked at us and smiled.

“Well, here he is, the family outcast,” he said glaring at me.

“That’s strange coming from someone who never knew his father. Didn’t he get blown up in Belfast trying to bomb a British Army barracks only to have it go off right outside a Catholic School?”

He glared back at the two of us.

“Touché.”

“So, Lol, what gives? It seems that you didn’t put up much resistance to being arrested? You didn’t come halfway across the country just to see me with some fantasy about getting the money from a house that my Granny is supposed to own?”

He glared at Kelly again.

“You don’t know do you?”

“Know what?”

“Your beloved grandmother was into all sorts of schemes in the 1950’s.”

“Well, my grandfather was no use once he took a bullet in the skull on St Patricks Day in 1957.”

He nodded.

“She was one very rich lady. She owned a Brownstone on the Lower East Side. Once she died, it was sold for a cool five million."

This was obviously not a surprise to Kelly. Well, she feigned the news brilliantly.

“The street was saying that all the money went to you. So, when things went pear shaped I figured I’d head out of the city. This was as good a place as any. I needed a grubstake so… here I am.”

“In a very hot car? Are you stupid,” asked Kelly.

Lol grinned.

“I didn’t graduate from the Bronx school of hot wiring for nothing. I disabled the GPS and the tracker before I got off Staten Island.”

“You were with Victor’s wife?” asked Kelly.

“Yeah. My bit on the side for the last six months.”

“You must have known that you’d get found out. Was it worth the risk?”

“You bet. She’s an animal in bed,” he replied with a huge grin on his face.

“But you got out?”

“Victor texted his wife when we were in his bed to say that he was going to take her out for a surprise lunch. I just about had enough time to get dressed and slip out the side when he came in the front. My wheels were several streets away so I took his car because he’d left the keys in it and hot-footed it towards the Verrazano and I-80. That was almost a week ago.

I grinned.

“You didn’t think to look in the door panels or the back seat now did you?” I said slightly gleefully.

As sudden realisation that he’d goofed spread over his face.

“How much?”

“Almost a hundred big ones and six blocks of C4.”
“Shit!”

“Yes Shit. You could be sunning yourself in Cancun as we speak. Instead, here you are locked up facing at least a 10 stretch for what eh?”

“Ok. Ok. I get it, I’m up shit creek.”

I looked at Kelly and gave her a nod.

“However, we want to keep a nice quiet life. So, we are prepared to let you go but without a very hot car, its contents or your illegal firearms. Don’t you know that it is illegal in this state to possess a firearm with the serial numbers filed off? Then there is the little matter of the loaded Mak-10’s.”

“They were in the trunk when I took the car. You won’t find my prints on them.

“They were in your possession and as they say possession is nine tenths of the law but in your case, it is at least a ten stretch in a Federal Pen but Viktor will make sure that you never see ten days let alone ten years.”

His face dropped.

“Where would I go? And how?”

I laughed as I said,

“We have an old pick-up in the pound. It is due to go for scrap but I am sure that it could be diverted to get you out of here. I’m sure it will let you get to Denver but there again, once you go over the state line, you are no longer our responsibility.”

Lol glared at me for a long second. Then he realised that I was serious.

Then Kelly piped in,
“We’d give you a sum of money that would get you out of the country but…”

She paused for effect.

“The conditions are fairly simple.”

“Firstly, you don’t come back here ever. Secondly, you never mention that you have met me here. If what you say about my Gran and the Brownstone is true I’d expect a few members of my family would want some if not all of it. As I don't have it, then they can ask all they like.”

“And if I don’t?”

“I put the feds onto you. The FBI really don’t like moving illegal weapons Interstate. Then there are the money and the ATF will want their slice of the action for the explosives. All in all, Lol, you are in deep shit. It could even be life if the weapons can be traced back to a murder or two? You know as well as I the line of business that Viktor is in…”

“So what is it to be?” I asked.

“Why are you doing this?”

I looked at Kelly and gave her a small nod.

“This is my home now. It is nice and peaceful here and I really don’t want any people from back home spoiling the peace. You could say that I was run out of ‘Dodge’ by my family and I don’t want anything to do with anyone from back east. The whole of the Bronx can disappear into the East River for all I’m concerned.”

Lol didn’t say anything but his eyes flicked between Kelly and myself. Then a smile started to appear on his face.

“You two are an item, aren’t you?”

We both said ‘No’ instantly.

“Pull the other one. I can see the signs,” said Lol.

Then he put up his hand to stop us saying anything.

“I’ll take the deal. I know far too much. They’d get me even if I was alive long enough to get into WITSEC.”

---

[one hour later]
“Well Lol, there’s the State Line and here are the keys to the Pickup,” I said as the three of us stood at the top of the Interstate ‘On-Ramp’.

“Thanks,” he replied slightly grudgingly.

Then he turned to Kelly.

“Look, I said a lot of bad things about you back there. I realise now that you are being yourself and have made a home here. I get the feeling that this deal is all your idea. Well thank you for that.”

I saw Kelly give him a little smile as he got into the Pickup.

As Lol disappeared westwards I looked at Kelly.

She was giving me a funny look.

“Out with it?” I said.

“Do you fancy me?”

Well, I asked for it. I should have expected it. Kelly never beat about the bush.

“Do you want the political answer or the truth?”

She laughed.

“How about both?”

“Ok. The Politically correct answer is No.”

“and the other one?”

I didn’t answer her but I leaned over and kissed her. Just a little peck on the lips. I hoped it was enough.

“Is that it?”

So, I kissed her again. This time it was a proper kiss.

Kelly came into my office early the next morning.

“I was thinking last night.”

“About Lol?”

“Sort of. I now realise how this place works and how different it is from… from before. What we did with Lol probably broke a dozen laws and…”

“And we should be sent to jail as well?”

Kelly nodded.

“We took a load of illegal guns off the street. Isn’t that a good thing? Isn’t that better for the public good? Lol is a what I call a chancer. The way he stole that car tells me that. It also means that the chances are that he’ll meet a sticky end sometime in the future but to put him away with some nasty people after him would probably hasten his demise. He does not deserve a shank in Prison.”

Kelly said nothing.

“So, Deputy Kelly, did we do the right thing?”

“Yes Sheriff, I think we did.”

Then she added,

“In the long run, I think we did.”

“What is going to happen to those guns, money and especially the car? We can’t very well put them through the evidence system as I’m guessing here that there is no formal record of Lol being here?”

I thought for a long second.

“I’m not sure. I tried to come up with a solution to that problem myself.”

“Well?”

“I don’t know. That is the honest truth. We can’t keep the money. The guns are easy. I’ll take them to the cemetery and get them put into a grave that is about to be used. They’ll be off the streets and out of sight for the foreseeable future. That leaves the car.”

“If this was New York, hot cars have been known to be delivered to a ‘chop shop’. They’ll strip it and dispose of the rest in a matter of days. I’ve not seen anything resembling a ‘chop shop’ here. Rather hard to hide something like that out here.”

I smiled back at her.

“The car is also easy. Barney SWA knows people who know people who will… well get rid of the car. If I slip him a ‘C’ note, he’ll take it off our hands no questions asked. After all the parts for a two-year old BMW M5 are worth quite a bit.”

“Will it come back on us?”

I shook my head.

“No chance. Also, these people are on the Reservation.”

“Eh? I thought that Barney didn’t want anything to do with his people on the ‘Res’?”

“He doesn’t unless it is business.”

“That leaves the money?”

“I was wondering if an anonymous donation to a few local charities might be in order?”

“Kelly smiled back at me.”

“What about that Pickup?”

“Another ‘C’ note and Barney will make it appear in all records that it went through him for crushing.”

“Problem solved then?”

“Not quite,” I said quietly.

“What’s left to wrap up?”

“Not really wrap up. I was wondering when you were going to tell me that you were a Millionairess?”

Kelly grinned back at me.

“I’m not. What Lol said was basically true. The Brownstone sold for more money that I could spend even if I tried so I gave it away. Most of it went to the relatives of the emergency services who died in 9/11. My donation is there as a matter of public record. The rest went to a wildlife preserve on Long Island.”

After a slight pause.

“That good enough for you?”

I grinned.

“More than enough. Thanks for telling me. I was scared that you might be off to sunnier climes with all that money in the bank.”

“Sorry Matt, I kind of like it here so I’m staying,” she replied with a nice smile on her face.

“In that case, do you want to come over for Dinner tonight? Ma will be playing bingo at the Community Center.”

Kelly smiled.

“Why don’t you come to me and…?”

[End of this Episode]