TRAGEDY OF THE SPIRIT PART 34

LIFE ON FOUR WHEELS

 ©2008 Prairie_girl_64

There are some that say life for anyone can be made either easy or difficult. I can relate to that saying on so many different levels. Now my life has become difficult once again. I am in now way saying my life was easy. I can say I adapted to it quite nicely (sarcasm here). The shit hit the fan early in my life and well it kept piling up. Now; I can definitely say it is piling up yet again. Now that that Idiot Jason is out of my life for the next while, I can concentrate on my current situation. This new situation is trying to live on four wheels. Yeah!! What a concept. Firstly, my place of residence is not and I mean NOT easy to get about. I will say that has become a serous issue for me. Sure you might say well anyone can get about in a wheelchair. I say try it and see. Better yet try it on plush carpet.

After my hospital stay I was set up with several other doctors and yes back to the rehabilitation center where I had been for months. Sheesh, enough was enough. I think that they may get tired of me there. I was angry about my current situation. Anyone should be. I took this as a positive sign, I could easily give up. Trust me I could do that. I decided to adapt. Anyhow, I was outfitted with my new wheels, much better fit for me than the ones that they loaned me when I came home with. I was outfitted with arm crutches. These were going to be a challenge altogether. Oh well, what can I do, there was sop much that needed to be done. I was off work and well that took on a whole new dimension for me. I am not used to sitting about. Yes I was depressed, I called Sheila several times and we chatted. One thing I had to find was suitable transportation for me to get out, and then I had to fine someone to assist me around the apartment and assist me in my day to day outings. That was a challenge. More on that a bit later.

Multiple Sclerosis is a neurological illness that affects the myelin lining that protects the spine. The symptoms can result in shaking, vision issues and severe muscle trauma. The nerve endings are basically short circuiting as the pathways are slowed. It the basic and easy way to describe it. For me I lost my control of my arms and legs. Some of the other issues I encountered were the vision concerns as my eyesight diminished but not completely. I have severe spasms that my whole body reacts too and some of these are violent. It was also detected as well that I had two small cysts imbedded in my hips. Those were deemed to be non threatening; however they would have to be dealt with at a later time if they became an issue.

Anyhow, my concern was finding suitable assistance for myself. After several weeks I found a young woman who was attending the medical college here in the city and she and I connected. I hired her on the spot. Yes there were financial restraints. I received funding to provide that assistance so she could be paid. Her name was Vickie; she was tall, around 6 feet and 160. She was a part time body builder and bouncer at a local club while attending college. Her straight black hair and brown eyes were a nice compliment to her height. We talked a significant amount as to what my expectations were and my needs. She also laid out her schedule and what she hoped to gain from this experience. She started in two weeks. In the mean time I tried my best not to go stir crazy in my apartment. I had to find one that did not have carpet all through it. Seven weeks later I found such a place and I proceeded to set up for my move. I was no longer employed and now on federal disability. To make things nice, I moved and Vickie my new employee became my roommate as she found it easier to get about if she was living near me. I found that nice and handy and I could get about easier.

Life gradually moved forward for me, I found volunteer agencies to work with, I found my physiotherapy sessions a challenge and yet nice and relaxing. Life was not by far easy and yet it was the most relaxed I had been in many years. I had no set schedules, no time limits. The time it took me to get out of bed was almost 20 minutes. Yes those cysts became a severe issue for me and they eventually were operated on and removed. They were benign thank god. I gained a new sense of self esteem and strength. Something I never expected before, I found peace. Peace not with myself but with my surroundings. I became comfortable with males and females a lot more. I found a part time job doing data entry and well I went to school to learn some adapted skills for individuals with physical challenges. Lots of my friends I have now are those I met within groups I joined during the first few years of my ‘chair’ life. I also became more adept in my surrounding, I could move in my chair if I had the strength. My new place had laminate floors and well not fully functioning for me, it would do. Vickie graduated and moved west for employment at a great hospital. I began my independence soon after she left. She was with me for three years. It was fun while it lasted. I gained a lot of new skills. Life on four wheels for me began for me. Was this going to be all roses, no chance in hell? Was there going to be challenges yes there were. Did I want thins, no way. Was I going to adapt, time was going to determine how well that was going to happen. Life was either shaping up or about to become extremely challenging. I can honestly say now looking back at this unique experience of seeing both sides of life, it has been interesting. I became less angry with myself and those around me. I became relaxed, not completely. I still get jittery around men. That is to be expected after what I have gone through. I have undergone several therapies on my legs and arms as well as my back. I shake considerable now as the Illness of MS is getting worse. Life continues on four wheels for me, slow as it is, I am managing.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Note: The final chapter of my synapse of my life will be posted by the end of the week as I am to undergo some major surgery on the 27th. Many blessings to all that have read this true life story of mine.