Things started with Jeff ready to turn 13 years old, dressing in his sister’s clothes and makeup; he hadn’t expect to get caught… The discovery of him cross-dressing begins the blossoming of Jessie... Jeff had trouble accepting Jessie was really him, others have trouble accepting Jeff and Jessie co-exist… Mom and Dr. Hunt support Jessie/Jeff in taking time to discover what is true in this situation.

Friday at school, we are reminded that we’re having a crossover day. It is a big deal at our school because it is only the second time at the middle school. The high school has two crossover days. The one in the spring is part of a larger Diversity Week which includes topics like race, ethnicity, abilities and limitations, gender and social status.

Rachel is doing a report on our great-grandparents who had come from England and Canada. They and Grandma Stephens were just becoming citizens when the great depression hit in the 1930s. Since they did not have an extended family to help them through the Depression, they united with other families like Mr. and Mrs. Hernandez, the Martinis, Mums, Magers and the Jankowskis. Mom told her the Martinis changed their names to the Martins and the Mager family with German ancestry became the Majors. The Jankowski family saw it the other way; keeping their Polish surname was an act of embracing their heritage despite some ramifications that came with it. While there were Polish and German-dominated neighborhoods they did not stand out like a neighborhood that was predominately black.

While it did not become a topic in larger family discussions, there seems to Rachel and me that Mom’s family overall are more accepting of differences. With her brother, Uncle Billy is a huge exception.

Saturday morning Rachel and I go to her girlfriend Tiffany’s home; they have a sunroom we use for tanning. I wore warmer clothes to and from there. Tiffany’s sister Susan has a pair of ragged cut-off shorts I’m to squeeze into and use for tanning. We tan from ten to eleven thirty and again one thirty to three. The time in between is spent talking and reading magazines: People, fashion and hairdos. My hair is pinned up.

Sunday morning we’re up early and drove for three hours to see Dad’s parents, Grandmother and Grandfather Preston, along with Aunt Ellen and Uncle Rich Mason. Their daughter Molly, soon to be bride wants to see Rachel and now Jessie as well. I am Jeff as we arrive.

Molly’s a sophomore at Yale and has communicated that she wants to meet me, along with Rachel whom she needs to see. Granddad Preston is open in telling my Dad that he and Mike, Jr., Dad’s brother are not happy in hearing about Jessie and don't want her coming to the wedding. Grandmother Preston, Aunt Ellen, Uncle Rich, and Molly are adamant that those differing with their wishes, acceptance, and comfort with Jessie being there need to be quiet and respectful at the minimum. Grandmother says Mom ’s brother Uncle Billy’s oldest daughter has had the strength to go her own way. She isn’t saying nor Mom what that is.

Rachel says, “I have an idea of what they’re talking about, but if Sierra is there we won’t have to guess. I’m sure she will tell us if it isn't obvious.” Uncle Billy’s wife is Dad’s cousin so they’re likely to be at the wedding as well.

Grandmother Rose, Aunt Ellen, Molly and younger sister Erica all insist on seeing Jessie. Rachel’s the only one who’s to help Jeff change into Jessie's clothes. That lasts until my skirt and bra are on. When Rachel calls down the hall, Molly and Erica are soon into the room. They don’t help other than Erica insists I wear a cami and blouse of hers.

Those who care to see me as Jessie, are taken with how girl-like I am

I later find I get to wear them home and keep them, Erica insists. Granddad’s grumbling when he sees me is the closest thing I’ll ever get to a compliment from him. He says, “Sick, you look like a very pretty girl.” I’m brazen enough to say thank you as Grandmother says, “Shush!” I’m not sure if Nonna Rose (Nonna - means grandmother in Italian) meant Granddad or both of us, but neither one of us asks.”

Nonna made her spaghetti and meatballs for Sunday dinner. Spaghetti at Nonna’s is always special. I think her meatballs are cooked and savored in her spaghetti sauce since early morning. Started before she went to church. She wraps an apron around me and has me helping with the last part of the meal.

Grandmother shows me how she drains the spaghetti noodles and sprays a light coating of olive oil to keep them from sticking. I ladle the sauce into two bowls and the meatballs into one large bowl. She has two pies that are warm out of the oven. She shows me how to mark one for six pieces and the second pie for eight slightly smaller pieces. She giggles at me when I say, “I’m not sure I will have enough room for even a small piece of the pie.

Erica grated the Romano cheese. I ask, “How come there’s so much aroma to the dinner today?”

Erica asks, “Did you notice my perfume before?”

I smiled, “Yes, Ice Blue but you were wearing it lightly.”

She says, “Jeff wouldn’t have noticed it at all. All Jeff could have told you coming through the door was Nonna is serving spaghetti and he’s hungry. I bet you could smell the noodles cooking, the sauce, bread, and Romano cheese.”

I cheerfully chime in, “You forgot the pie and cinnamon sugar on one pie. Point being, you think I’m noticing it as a girl?”

All the leaves are in Nonna’s huge dining room table. Molly is sitting next to Nonna Rose and I get to sit next to Molly. Mom says I would have sat next to Grandfather if Nonna trusted him to be on good behavior.

Nonna Rose invites the women into her room where she gives Molly a woman’s lace doily that she can carry with her flowers as a woman’s dainty handkerchief. I find out it is a tradition that she makes one for each of her daughters and granddaughters as they get married.

I’m not only proud of Nonna Rose, but Molly’s appreciation of her heritage and simple things like what her grandmother made for her, and a locket from grandma’s Grandmother. Nonna believes that it had come from Italy from an older ancestor.

Riding home, Rachel and I share a pillow as we sleep much of the way home. Just before we get home Rob pokes me in the side and then yells snake, to see if I would scream like a girl. Which I do. Dad’s very angry at Rob for causing a scare in the car. I found it interesting that I scream like a girl. Yes, Jeff might have screamed too.

My appointment with Dr. Kim Stoults is somewhat of a surprise. I did not know she was a women’s doctor, GYN. Fortunately, I’ve gone the added effort to show myself as Jessie. I met a girl named Trisha, who asks me how rough the first time I menstruated was. Then she begins her story of her first experience. I’m relieved when they call her in for her appointment.

When Nurse Evans takes me back to an exam room, she gives me an exam robe. I feel the need to ask, “Does Dr. Stoults know I’m not really a girl?” She smiles and confirms, “She does, and she sees you as a special patient.

I am sitting on the edge of the exam table when Dr. Kim Stoults comes in to examine me. Somehow I feel extra nervous because she’s a younger doctor, younger than my mother. “Do you mind if I call you Jessie or would you prefer I call you Jeff however you are dressed?”

“Please call me Jessie. I’m pleased that you are sensitive to me being Jeff.” We talk as she examines me.

She asks me, “Dr. Hunt has asked me to medically look at you in regards to your general health, the taking of a testosterone blocker and the taking some of the female hormones.” She takes off my breast forms and examines me thoroughly. “Your nipple areas are a little puffy and sees responsive to touch. Can you tell if this area has become more or less sensitive recently?”

I say, “I can’t say, because I wasn’t thinking about it before. But I wouldn’t mind if they are.”

She asks, “Why wouldn’t you mind? Are you comfortable with being Jess?”

I smile, “Jeff and I are the same person, but he’s the one who has always been visible to everyone. If it were my choice I think Jessie best represents me. If my body could reflect me more I would love having the breasts like me, a girl.”

Dr. Stoults says, “But if Jessie develops real breasts they will always be part of who you are. Is that what you want? Having breast forms allows you to appear both ways.”

Jessie says, “Something is going to happen one way or the other with adolescence. Either, my boyhood is going to change me and I become more like Rob, my brother. I don’t want to wait and become a man. I don’t want to be my Mom or Rachel, I want to become me. Does that make any sense?”

Dr. Stoults says, “Yes, it does, I understand what you are saying. It makes sense, but I want to make sure neither your Mom nor your sister is pushing you to become a girl too quickly.”

Jessie giggles, “They have been supportive but they’d rather I slow down, maybe not even become a girl. I think my Mom is in denial about how long I’ve been me. Rachel’s the one who first called me ‘Jessie’. She knows I wanted to be a girl and her little sister the longest. My Dad stopped me when I was growing up from playing with her things.”

Dr. Stoults turns to my mother, “I am glad to hear, you have not been pushing Jessie. Did either you or your other daughter have any idea that Jessie had been getting into your clothing before this?”

Mom tells Dr. Stoults, “I thought for over five years that Rachel had been getting into my clothes. Then about four years ago Rachel and I caught Robby in Rachel’s clothes. That was the first time I dressed one of my boys intentionally in a girl’s outfit. He soon got back to being himself, there were some incidents once in a great while after that. When I became certain it wasn’t Rob, I assumed it was Rachel though she denied it and I couldn’t prove it.”

“Rachel told me several times the past five weeks that she knew Jeff had gotten into her clothes but she hadn’t told me. It was just recently she actually caught him. She says he has always been interested in her girl stuff like dolls, makeup and blouses or skirts.”

“There were times clothes put out for Goodwill or the Salvation Army were disturbed.”

Jessie’s ready to break down crying when she’s accused. Finally, she cries, “Those time weren’t always me. I’m afraid to admit what I’ve done. It may have been wrong but it was a rare chance of wearing clothes that I like. Am I going to be punished for it?”

Dr. Stoults said, “We are not here to punish you; we’re trying to substantiate how long and how strongly you have had these feelings of this other self. How have these past weeks been for you?”

“Truthfully, heaven and hell. I’ve been excited and afraid about this day. I like being Jeff, I love being Jessie more. I’m glad to have own my name. I hope you won’t stop me from going on this trip. I know it is for my big sister; I just want a chance to be me.”

Mom and Dr. Stoults meet without me and then Mom comes out and sits with me. “Dr. Kim and Dr. Beth Hunt need to talk about what to do for you.”

We wait until the morning clients are through before we meet again with Dr. Kim Stoults. “This will just be for a short duration and to see how you do on this trip. Jessie, we want to see how your body responds to receiving female hormones for a short duration. Mrs. Preston, we need your approval for this. Dr. Hunt believes you are open to it, is that so?”

Mom looks at me, slightly smiling, “I think it could be helpful.”

Dr. Stoults looks to me asking, “Are you open to this? I don’t think there will be any change physically and feelings that might arise are as likely to be in your head than real. We will not leave you on them long enough to substantiate more than if your body has a safe response.”

Jessie says, “You don’t give me much to get excited about, do you? Except I think some of it is real whether you believe it or not.”

Dr. Stoults is happy for me, “I wouldn’t expect it any other way young woman, but I need to hear you agree.”

“Yes, I agree but how am I going to be able to fly and travel as Jessie?”

Dr. Kim, “The people who approve special passports already had Dr. Hunt’s approval to do so. They’re awaiting word from our office, so now you can pick up your special passport. It is for you as a transgendered girl; is this in fact what you and your mother want?”

I say, “Yes, you know I do. I have brought a pretty dress and even two swimsuits for sunbathing. It makes me a little nervous but a lot more excited.” I thought Dr. Stoults would be surprised, instead, she smiles at me.

Dr. Kim gives me a shot of the testosterone blocker saying it is more effective this way. My female hormones are by prescription which is quickly purchased and I take my first dose.

Mom stops at Grandma’s on our way home. We're expecting Grandma will be preparing lunch. I go in yelling, “Grandma, I get to take girl hormones for three weeks!”

She tries to tell me to hush, as she’s giving Darby Jacobs another baking lesson. Darby’s school has their spring break a week earlier than us. I am looking Darby face to face when I realized it. I say, “I guess you knew part of it. Now you know for sure.”

“My brother said I knew the T-girl. I thought it might be you, but your grandma wouldn’t tell me. It sounds strange, but when I see you as Jessie you are so normal, except how pretty you are.”

I ask, “What does my being pretty, have to do with it?”

She says, “Well it is not like you’re gorgeous, but you look like a pretty girl. I thought…” She stops and won’t finish what she’s saying. Darby looks to Grandma, “Have you taught Jessie how to bake pies?”

“Jessie's seen me, but no, she’s never really learned to do it. Would you mind helping her to learn?” Darby automatically goes to the kitchen drawer where she pulls out an apron. She does not pull out the top one but finds one that is pink and white and has ruffles around its edges.

Darby instructs me, “You should roll up your sleeves. Make sure you wipe your hands on your apron or a towel and not the sides of your clothes. You are actually wearing an outfit too nice for baking. But I think your mother will excuse you if you are careful.”

I am impressed as Darby helps me mix the flour for the pie crusts while Grandma watches. She even asks me to roll out the top crust. Darby cuts three slits that look like little almond slivers. Grandma mixes some cherries frozen from last summer with sugar and something else. Darby and I get silly with the mention of ‘frozen’ cherries and begin to sing the ‘Frozen’ song, “Let It Go”. I guess I surprise them by how well Jessie sings.

Once the pies are in the oven, I show Darby how to make Grandma’s flaky cinnamon cookies with the leftover pie dough. I have Darby get all the scraps of dough, make it into one dough pile to be rolled out. I found Grandma’s round cookie cutter. Each round cookie gets a small dab of butter and is sprinkled with cinnamon sugar and then put into the oven until it bakes a light brown. We each get to enjoy one cookie before the pies came out of the oven.

Mom and I are soon on our way home to prepare dinner. I’m surprised by how fast the day has gone. When I complain I’m hungry. Mom reminds me I did not eat lunch. She says, “I continue to be surprised by how you get caught making mistakes and it turns out for the better?”

“What did I get caught at this time?” I had already forgotten.

“You went yelling into Grandma’s about taking girl hormones. Darby’s there and instead of being shocked; she sees you as a normal pretty girl and suggests a baking lesson.”

Jessie turns sad and Mom asks, “What’s with the gloomy look?”

Jessie looks to her Mom, “I hoped Darby would be Jeff's girlfriend too. I hoped the same about Tami, Mom.”

Mom pats me on the hand as we arrive home, “There’s more than one side to being Jessie. Darby seems to like you as a girlfriend. As Jessie, have you noticed other feelings for Darby or her brother?”

“I felt something when I kissed Matt.” Oops, mom didn’t know.

“You kissed Matt, when did that happen,” Mom asks?

I say, “We ran into him and his friends at the movies when I went with Tami and April.”

Mom says, “You didn’t just happen to see a boy and kiss him; the three of you went with them to the movies?”

“Mom, it just happened, I didn’t plan it.” Mom says, “Explain.” I say, “I wasn’t going to do it, but Matt and I talked. I decided I would be safe with him. Yes, he paid for my ticket but I helped to buy the popcorn and diet cola. We made it through most of the movie, but once we looked at each other at the same time and we kissed. He knew I’m a boy, but I think he kissed a girl that is how I kissed him. I’m sorry Mom, but I felt something inside.”

“Jessie, you are so in trouble for what you did.”

“But Mom, I didn’t mean it and it’s not like we made out,” I say.

Mom says, “It isn’t just the kiss, but going on a date behind our backs. Even if you didn’t know you kept it a secret.”

“I didn’t tell you because I knew you would take it the wrong way.”

Mom takes me into her room as we go into the house, “I would like to take you over my knee and spank you, like a bad little girl.” Mom reaches me and pulls me to her, my hands go behind to protect my bottom. However, Mom is hugging me, “Honey, I know feelings and thoughts are arising in you. You need to think and you need to trust us.” Mom and I talked, I’m grounded for a month except for Tami’s to study and Max’s. Luckily Mom didn’t ask about Max.

Rachel knows something happened and that I’m grounded, but I won’t tell her why. Rob doesn’t know or care. I’m Jeff at school and home until the trip. I spend extra time on my bed daydreaming.

It feels so nice dressing on Thursday as Jessie. I’m so excited to be going on the trip. Mom and Rachel both get tired of showing me how to fold or pack this and that. Rachel says over and again, “A girl just knows how to do that.” When they can they send me to the other person.

The most frightening thing is going through airport security. I’m afraid something will be said in public that I’m not a girl or they want to do a body search. I stay close to Mom and she speaks for me the two times someone asks questions. There are looks and it takes time with questions again. One TSA woman who first looks strict and firm, apologizes, “I am sorry for any frustration this causes you. We wouldn’t want you forcefully taken someplace to be abuse or not to come back.” She’s being warm and more caring, “You are a pretty young teen. I expect you are looking forward to this trip. What are you most excited about?”

I say, “I already got a little tan, my sister and I plan to sunbath. I also have a pretty dress to wear for my cousin’s wedding.” She wishes me well on our trip.

I
’ve only seen palm trees on TV, seeing them almost made the long flight and small seats worth it. Our school doesn’t offer Spanish until high school, so I’m relying on my sister. Thankfully, almost everyone is speaking English. There are people there from England but our English is not quite the same. Mom calls theirs the Queen’s English.

The first night at Akumal we only have time to check in, get dinner, and walk around seeing the beach before calling it a night. Rachel and I share one suite adjoining to our parents. Rachel is more discreet and private about changing, showers and things.

I want to go to sleep, but Rachel soon interests me to stay up and do our nails. Rachel is to get a manicure and pedicure here for the wedding. I’m jealous but it is also part of her graduation present.

Morning comes early, but Rachel and I are up with the dawn making way for the sun rising. We're soon in shorts, tops and sandals going out to the beach. We are back to see Mom and Dad about breakfast. We are to eat with the Masons. Mom and Dad get a quick bite and then go meet with our travel person. Molly’s especially happy to see Rachel. They have been especially close when we all lived closer, and before Molly went to college.

Keith Jackson, her fiancé, stops and sits with us. Rachel had told me that Keith is handsome and now I see that for myself. He’s to graduate from Yale in May and already has a job with a firm in Bridgewater, Connecticut. They will be living closer to Yale and New Haven for Molly to get her degree.”

Uncle Mike and Uncle Billy are upset with Dad and Aunt Ellen. Though they’ve come on the trip, they’re threatening not to attend the wedding or worse interrupt it. That is if I attend the wedding; I didn’t know of this for a while. Mom’s upset and stressed.

It is after 3:00 p.m. that Uncle Billy daughter Cheryl arrives asking people, “Hi everyone, I’d like everyone to meet and welcome Jill to the family. She knew her father already accepted her marriage to Jill, but he had not expected Cheryl to come to the wedding. It was Jill who financed the trip as she wanted to meet the family. The deciding factor was two weeks ago when they learned Cheryl’s younger Cousin Jeff/Jessie, a transgendered girl, was to come to the wedding.

I’m on the beach swimming and sunning with Erica when Cheryl and Jill come looking for us. They recognize Aunt Ellen and Cousin Erica. I probably would have recognized Cheryl if I was expecting her. Cheryl says, “Hello Aunt Ellen and Erica and this must be Jessie. I’d like to introduce you to Jill. We married officially a couple of weeks ago and we would like to have a church wedding if and when possible.”

Jill turns to Cheryl, “You’re lucky I’m only meeting Jessie now, I hadn’t thought of a cute T-girl.” Cheryl gives me a hug, “Yes, she did; the deciding factor was we fell in love with each other. We came to the wedding in part to give support to you being here. Molly already knows of us and is happy we’re here for her sake and yours.”

I said, “Mine, why me?”

Cheryl says, “Because the Preston men, apart from your Dad, pardon the language can be bastards. My Dad was going to side with Grandpa and Uncle Mike, ‘Monkey one and two’. My Dad already knows about Jill and me, but this was to be his last hurrah at being a public ass. I don’t think he will, with us being here. My mother, as well as, I would disown him, at least for a while.”

Jill says, “We talked to you mother and Rachel. We’re glad you have healthy support. You do make a good girl on the outside.”

I ask, “What do you mean I make a good girl on the outside?”

Cheryl smiles, “Just that you look really good as a girl. Being a T-girl is a lot like being a lesbian, the outside cover does not determine your heart and all that goes with being you.” Jill interrupts, "I know when I was thirteen I still had three swings ahead of me about whether I was straight, gay or even bi-sexual. You have both gender decisions as well as how you’re attracted to people sexually.”

I’m surprised, “You understand the differences? Most people don’t.”

Cheryl sees Aunt Ellen looking at her watch. “We also came down to remind all of us, we need to get ready for the rehearsal dinner. We’re to be dressed up and to the gathering spot by seven.”

I get back to my suite, letting my parents know I’m back. I will wait until the wedding tomorrow evening to wear the dress that I wore to the ballet. The dress I’m wearing tonight is a very pretty white and blue skater dress with simple straps.

Rachel’s back, saying they already had their rehearsal. She says, “Everyone should enjoy the wedding for its simplicity and uniqueness. It is not like any wedding you’ve seen.” She stops there and won’t tell me anything more.

I tell Rachel, “I’ve seen Cousin Cheryl and I know the secret Grandmother wouldn’t tell us.” Rachel waits for me to tell her and then asks. I say, “Wait, you’ll see. You wouldn’t tell me about the rehearsal.”

Rachel is willing to wait, as it will only be until 7:00 p.m. Luckily, Rachel is nice; she still helps with my hair and makeup. She tells me to end my shower with water as cool as comfortable. Having a nice tan changes how to do my makeup. Though it will be light, I want it right. Tonight my hair is nicely brushed and combed. There are enough curls and waves to make it look nice.

An all-inclusive resort is nice, a girl doesn’t have to worry about a larger purse. I'm not used to stuffing the room key in my clothes and already had to replace one after I went for a swim. Jeff would have liked the endless refill of Coke or Dew. I drink water or a couple of diet drinks each day.

Walking to the rendezvous point is easy and it is generally enjoyable to see the extended family as well as Keith’s family as well as Keith and Molly’s friends. I didn’t like Uncle Mike coming up and pulling my hair and his snide remarks whispered. “You’re not wanted here girly boy,” that was the second and most printable comment.

In not so girly language, I say, “Butt off Uncle Mike, you leave me alone and I’ll leave you alone. But I won’t take your crap.” I walk quickly to Rachel and she looked back from where I came and knew something happened.

She asks, “Are you, okay Sis? Tell Dad, he won’t put up with it.”

I informed her, “I will if it continues, but I’d rather not make a scene. I’ll stay close to those who are supportive. Please don’t tell Molly or Dad for now.”

It is shortly after that that Cheryl walks up with Jill. Rachel’s partly surprised as she greets Cheryl and Jill with a big smile and warm hugs. Their glimpsing at me meant I’m part of their conversation. Erica, however, has gotten me to go with her to meet some of Keith’s cousins. I didn’t know she meant boys or I probably wouldn’t have gone to meet them.

Tad’s fifteen and Jared’s about the same age. Tad asks me if I like scuba diving. And when I say, “I hadn’t ever tried it.” He simply says, “Then we’ll have to take you, meet us where the shuttles pick us up at 7:30 in the morning. Wear shorts and top over your swimsuits.”

I try to say ‘No’, but he stops me. "We won’t bite and we already made the reservations.”

I say, “But I’m grounded for three weeks.”

Tad and Jared both smile with Jared saying, “That’s the spirit, you’re the kind of girl we enjoy being with.” Erica is surprised I said I’m grounded and says, “She’s just shy, grounded is an excuse.”

I make my way over to Mom. “Mom, I need your help. Keith’s cousins Tad and Jared want to take me scuba diving tomorrow morning. I told them, I’m grounded, but Erica said that’s just an excuse because I’m shy.”

Mom says, “Okay, I’ll let you go tomorrow.”

“But Mom, I want you to say ‘no’.”

Mom asks, “Are you afraid to go diving, part of it will probably only be snorkeling. The places here are very beautiful and a lot of fun.”

I tell her, “But it’s with guys.”

She smiles, “Then promise me there won’t be any kissing.”

I say, “Mom, I’m not going to, but they are cute and kind of assertive. Plus, aren’t I to have my hair styled for the wedding?”

She says, “If you’re going in the morning, you should be back by 11:30 or noon at the latest. I’ll tell their folks you and Erica are younger and the boys need to be easy on you. Is that okay?”

The conversation ends as the tram rides come to take us to the restaurant that we're eating at tonight. The meal is extra fancy, too fancy for my tastes, but surprisingly I enjoy the new food I’m tasting. Some are going to a dance area tonight but I go back with my folks.

There is an entertainment venue at Akumal that a few of us stop at. It has singing and dancing tonight. Come audience participation, instead of recruiting those eager to go up, I’m selected. I’m soon wearing a ruffled skirt, decorative scarfs and being quickly taught some steps behind the scenes. The next dance I am one of the girls dancing on stage and the lead male dancer is twirling me, swinging me out and back. For the finale, he lifts me up allowing my skirt to fall around me. Miguel gives me a kiss and says I did extremely well. The audience applauds as I return to my seat.

Soon I’m being called back to a table where my parents are sitting. I’m sure I’m in trouble and will be told about the dangers of me being found out. Instead, Mom is giggling almost uncontrollably while showing pictures they had gotten of me. “You are quite the dancer young lady. I didn’t know you could dance like that.”

“I can’t Mom, I don’t know how I did it. Their dancers taught me and I just tried to keep up and not embarrass myself.” Molly came over to compliment me, “I didn’t know you took dance, your school must have quite the program? I hope you can go dancing with us tomorrow night.”

Again someone answers for me, Dad says, “She’ll love too, the only thing is she won’t like to be sitting with her parents.”

Molly smiles, “I understand, we’ll include her with the bridal party and our friends. We’ll watch after her.” Molly whispers to me, “I hope you won’t be offended, but I’m surprised how easy it is to accept and relax with you, Jessie.” She gives me a hug and it is the first time I feel my breasts. I think to myself, ‘Doctors’ can this be just in my head?’

Back to my suite for the night, I take a shower and shampoo and condition my hair. I relish the fact I’m getting good at drying, brushing out and doing my hair. I am also taken with the how well I tanned today. There are only a few areas slightly red. The only sensitive area is at the back and top of my legs, under my butt cheeks.

Mom knocks and comes into say goodnight and talk. “I am proud of you young lady, you handled yourself quite well, today. We don’t know what your Uncle Mike said or if Uncle Billy or anyone else gave you a hard time. Your father spoke to his brothers and made it quite clear they are not to bother you, Cheryl or cause a problem for the wedding and festivities.”

“Thanks, Mom, but what would Dad do if anything happened?”

Mom states, “Your father and someone have already talked to security here. But he’ll put a stop to it himself if he needs too.”

It surprises me that my Dad would be like that. Mom even tells me, “Your father is not someone others want to tangle with. Before you or your sister took tae-kwon-do, your father earned his black belt, before you were born. He’s sure he won’t have to use it. Uncle Mike tangled with him long ago, I’m sure he remembers.”

Mom suggests tomorrow morning I wear my one piece swimsuit. “I know your concern Jess, but it would be a shame if you’re down here along the Gulf and didn’t do something unique like this. I’m very sure you will love it. Yes, I know the boys find you cute. They’re not to go beyond giving you a hug. Don’t be afraid to slap their hands if they wander.”

I have a good night's sleep with a dream involving Tad. I didn’t hear Rachel come to bed, but in the morning she asks, “Was that anyone, in particular, you were dreaming about?” I denied knowing what she meant.

I feel like a little girl growing up, I barely remember when Rachel started looking like a pretty teen with shorts over her swimsuit. Now it’s me and I’m happy looking at myself in the mirror. Rachel says behind me, “Yes, you look like a hot teen, girl. Remember Tad, Jared, and red-blooded guys are going to see the same.”

I responded, “Eew.”

Rachel says, “I hope you see it that way, but I’m pretty sure you are hoping they think you’re pretty.”

“How can you say that?”

She laughs in my face, “By the way you’re looking at yourself in the mirror. Now get your stuff and get going so you’re there on time.”

I ask as I’m ready to leave, “Are you excited about going to the salon with Molly and being at the wedding?”

Rach says, “Yes, but if you want to talk about it, let's do that when you get back. Shoo!”

I met Erica on the way and she thankfully is more excited than me. The guys are waiting for us, luckily it is Erica they like. It does not bode well for me when Tad sits with me and Jared is with Erica. Tad says, “Your Uncle must not like you. He told me you’re a boy. I even tried asking Keith to straighten him out, but he didn’t hear me.”

Jessie takes a deep breath, “I tried telling you yesterday I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to tell you but yes, I’m technically a boy.”

Tad laughs at me, “Quit the joking a boy can’t look as girly as you. We have gay guys at my school, I know.”

“Thanks for the compliment, but I didn’t lie to you.”

Tad questions Jessie but seemingly already knew, “Is it still okay, if we still act like we’re together, like a date?”

Jessie’s now the one humored, “If my Mom doesn’t find out, I’m not to be dating yet.”

Tad shakes his head, “But your Mom knows you’re with me and you’re a girl. Isn’t that a date?”

Jessie smiles, “Probably, but I don’t say that I understand parents.” Tad laughs and agrees he doesn’t either. Erica and Jared ask what’s so funny. Tad and Jessie say together, “Parents.”

We arrive at an area near Tulum. Juan gathers the group asking, “Who wants to learn or knows how to scuba dive? Those who would rather snorkel, go with Miguel.”

Tad pointing to me says, “We both know, she can go with me.”

“Hold it sport,” Juan turns to me. “Is that true young woman?”

I point to the tanks, “I’m not sure about your equipment, but I know how to dive.” Juan looks at me, “Make sure you do or ask me, will you?” I agree.

Tad takes me steps away, “Do you?”

I confess, “Not really, you better be able to show me.” Erica is the one who knows how to scuba and Jared has volunteered to go snorkeling. Chad from the resort is in our group and now taking interest in Erica. There is a natural pool with some fencing that we practice in for fifteen minutes. Luckily, Tad does well in helping me to learn. The pool area is fun to start and two people choose to stay there. Next is a larger closed off area it has sea turtles, fish, and stingrays. I say, “I was told there’s an area with coral, plants and sea life that area one gets to swim more freely in a more open area.”

Juan says, “Maria and David can take you to that area but there’s no guarantee about what you’ll see.” Tad, three others and I go with them. I joke with Maria, “There’s no chance the coral and plant vegetation is swimming away.” Dave needs to explain to Maria, “Gringo humor.”

Maria encourages me to swim with her, “I show you beautiful colors, you appreciate.” She was right the colors were fantastically beautiful and later we heard others did not have that experience. She signaled me to notice two sea turtles and colorful fish as well. We had been swimming a half hour and were required to take a break. We were given other options or could go back to scuba diving. I ask, “Marie, is there more we can see?”

“Se, I will be happy to show you.” Tad isn’t as excited but stays with us. Maria being pretty doesn’t hurt his interest in staying around. Maria shows us a cave where fresh water is entering the Gulf. It has attracted different sea life and while they scatter if we get too close we can see them quite well at a short distance. Twenty minutes pass quite quickly and we need to swim back and turn in our equipment.

I want to give Maria a big tip, but I’m told it needs to go to all of the people at this place. Maria assures me, “It is better we share or it would be us women who would come up short, because our English not too good.” I give her a hug, saying I will learn Spanish and come back. Maria knows better than me, though I’m sincere.

Tad too left a good tip and sincerely says, “Maria, I would not have enjoyed it as much if I had not followed you two.” I ask Tad later and he affirmed that what we saw was unique and better. We confirm that in talking with others on our way back.

I’m caught off guard when Tad gives me a hug and a kiss when I turn to him. “What’s up with that,” I ask?

Tad says, “Sorry, I had a great time and wanted to express my thanks. I wasn’t thinking.”

I smile saying, “I’m not naïve nor am I, sorry, thank you.” Tad has a sheepish grin, “I guess, I’m not either.” He gives me another hug, this time tickling me. We’re let off at the resort and go our separate ways.

Erica asks, “What’s that about?” She asks, “Does he know about you?”

I’m tempted to mention about Uncle Mike but am satisfied just saying, “Yes, he asked and I told him.”

Erica asks, “Is he?”

I say, “I’m pretty sure he’s straight, but he’s decided to treat me as a girl.”

Erica said, “He doesn’t believe you’re not a regular girl?” We talked and I assure her, he does.

Mom’s glad to see me back, “Hurry and shower and get ready to go to the salon, if you want anything to eat. I hadn’t eaten much before I left and I am plenty hungry. I was not much more than presentable when we get to one dining area. I fill a small plate with fruit, cheese and some rice with shrimp and vegetables.

Erica finds us as she and I are going to the salon together. I’m enjoying having a girl cousin in a whole new way. I’m going to have two large curls falling to the left of my face. Some of my hair is pinned up and I have many smaller tighter curls around my head. Mom oohs and ahs as I come out of the salon. I could have said the same for Mom if I wasn’t so caught up with myself. Remaining calm and inactive for me is hard as we sit reading and visiting with others. Learning to visit and read more is a girl thing according to my Jeff way of thinking. Jeff can kill time with a tablet but it is not reading.

It’s funny as I watch girls, women pass by. Jeff is thinking about how attractive they are, Jessie looking at how attractive they are in a whole different way: clothes, makeup, and hair. Truthfully, I’m not fully sure how I’m looking at them. There are certain ones I’m not sure about my attraction.

Rachel comes over and visits, “So how are you doing Jessie?”

I turn the conversation, “You were going to tell me about your salon visit and time with Molly.”

Rachel smiles, “You know how you look up to me at times. That’s how it is with me being around Molly. This being her wedding day, it’s more so. You will be surprised at how much more beautiful she is. …We got pampered in ways you wouldn’t believe.” They had massages and facials before their hair and makeup were done.

Rachel soon leaves to get dressed and help Molly. I feel there are things Rachel is not telling me.

I’m soon back to my room and Mom is dressing with me so she can help me. It is amazing to me how different my dress is today. Mom says, “Jessie you know the biggest difference isn’t losing the jacket. It is you, you are so much better in carrying yourself as a woman.

I am into how I look until we get to the beach area where the wedding is going to be. There are four people who are to perform the ceremony, first I’m thinking Mayan costume, but the Mayan wise man tells me it is their authentic dress for the service will not be a reenactment but a ceremony.

He tells me, not that I am pretty, but asks me to be at peace with the elements of the cosmos…

Story to be continued…

Jeff/Jessie Preston
Mom; Roger Preston-Dad
Terri, Rachel-sister, Robbie-brother
Grandma Stephens
Darby and Matt Jacobs
Tami, Jennifer and Mrs. Johnson Carol.
April Franklin – Tami’s best friend
Luke – a friend of Jeff’s who likes Monica; Jacob – Friend of Rob’s
Dr. Elizabeth Hunt and Dr. Kim Stoults, my sister’s doctor
Nonna Grandmother Preston, Michael Preston, Sr. – Grandfather
Aunt Ellen (Dad’s Sister), Uncle Rich Mason, Daughters Molly, and Erica
Uncle Mike Preston, Jr. Dad’s brothers
Cousin Cheryl Knowles-Turner and Jill Turner
Uncle Billy and Aunt Jan (Preston) Knowles–