I was told to get to bed as soon as my homework is done. Tonight at least I had better dreams. In one I asked Sis if she would allow me to go with them to Chicago. Instead of ‘No’, it was ‘we’ll need to see.’ But alas I didn’t get to go.

That was by far the hardest weekend of the summer so far. I was home alone and all I wanted to do was to be Cami. Saturday afternoon I ran a bubble bath in Mom’s bathtub. I had already showered and shaved my legs and underarms. I had gotten out panties, a bra, and found a silk slip as well as Mom’s dark blue cocktail dress. They were all laid out on her bed and I was a little girl all set to play dress-up. I slipped into the tub with the bubbles soon hiding any signs I’m not a girl. My long hair is over the back of the tub as I lay back.

I found a prescription of mom’s birth control pills and took one like they were magic pills that would make me into a girl. I didn’t expect anything would happen. I just dreamed I had some girl feelings. I enjoyed the bubble bath, feeling my skin extra nice because if the bath oils. The phone rang but I didn’t answer it; I wanted nothing to break the moment. I had a cup of water and took another magical pill.

I washed with a sponge along my arms, down my legs and used a gel on my face and let it dry into a mask. I felt smooth and sleek and my skin had the fragrance of lavender. I did well pat drying my body and blow drying my hair as I brushed it out. And after I was dry I wrapped the towel around me like a girl. I lay down on Mom’s bed dreaming. I didn’t want to wake up or open my eyes because I knew it would be real only if I believed and didn't look. It took me an hour to get dressed and made up, but that was okay because it needed to last my night at home.

My feelings were mixed between loving it and sorry I was neither a real girl nor that it would last. I dreamt in my mind about going out to dinner and being swept off my feet. I even dreamt of being loved. Calling it a night was even nice as I was a big girl who took care of her clothes. And then I prepared for bed. I had goosebumps and warm feelings getting into a pretty nightie. Tears filled eyes and emotions flowed over me. I thought that was how it must feel like a girl.

The nightgown was old and worn but it felt extravagant to me. I borrow one of Jenn’s extra stuff animals and held it tight and loved it as something precious. I didn’t know when I finally fell to sleep. I had heard the living room clock strike one before I fell asleep. Come morning I’m late in getting up. Grandma called over and said they would pick me up for the church service. I had to hurry change and get ready and make sure there were no signs of Cami.

I went to their place for Sunday dinner and helped Grandma before and after the meal. She put an apron on me when I helped her and it felt like a dress. Grandma wanted to cut my nails as she did when I was little, and I too wanted it. I allowed her to do it and she used pale pink nail polish. “Hal don’t take it off. It is so close to your regular color no one will notice. When I get home I called Grandma and thanked her for dinner and doing my nails. She laughed, “Are you sick Hal. You were so well behaved and now you’re showing good manners in thanking me.” We both giggle.

It was now the end of June going into July and the boys would come here for the 4th of July weekend and the country club social the night before. Jenn said, “This will be the last time you need to be Cami. And it is just in time. Mom had called and she will be home the end of next week.”

I had a full week of classes. Tricia and I handed in our report and gave our presentation to the class on Thursday. When I walk out of class, I gave Miss Robbins a hug and thanked her for helping me to be a good student.

Miss Robbins took hold of my hands and lifted them up, I knew she saw the manicured fingers of a girl but she didn’t say anything. She took a hold of my ponytail and she shifted it higher on my head. When I gave her a hug again, I felt a kiss on my forehead. She said, “I don’t know when I have seen you so happy, I hope your Mom is proud of you. Your mother will be so proud of how well you have done.”

I moved the ponytail back down; I felt so very good as I went on to the next class.

On my way home, I got a call from Sandy. “Hey Cami, can you and Sal be at the dance early. The softball team has a tournament game tomorrow and a 10:15 p.m. curfew tonight. We want some others to come early so you aren’t alone with a bunch of little kids and older people. Your sister and others don’t plan to be there until 9:30 p.m.”

“If you’d come early we could get ready together and I would help you,” Sandy said.

I knew I’d need help so I was happy to agree. “I will be over after 3:30 p.m. see you then,” Sandy said.

I changed to Cami’s voice and said, “Thank you so very much, Sandy.”

If this would be my last time as Cami, at least I would go out in style. I had actually bought a nice dress with a flower print that is neither too long nor too short. It is soft, silky smooth and felt like a cool shower wherever it touched my skin. I so looked forward to wearing it.

I knew it was just my imagination but since I had kept using my Mom’s pills, and this morning I swore I felt more like a girl. Bumps have begun to form around my nipples when I touched them. I didn’t know about if that ever happened before but I imagine that I was changing into Cami. Like a ballerina, I danced and twirled around the house. I even took small bites and sips to eat and drink acting like young women that I've seen.

I was still dancing around when Sandy tapped me on the shoulder. The music was loud enough I had not heard the doorbell, so Sandy let herself in. I jump off the floor when she did. Sandy took hold of me as I tried to run to my room. “Where do you think you are running off to Cami?”

Sandy had her dress with her and I made a fuss about how beautiful it was. She filled it out her dress so much better than I could, even in my dreams. “I’m jealous Sandy. You look so much more like a beautiful young woman.”

Sandy giggled at my statement, “Do I really look more like a young woman than you? I wonder why that would be.” She gave me a hug. Her waist was sleek yet firm, and I felt the warm softness of her breasts as she hugged me. I touched her face as I pulled back. It was Cami and not Hal that did so.

Sandy had not yet eaten so I quickly made her a sandwich, a scoop of cottage cheese with skim milk to drink. I eat some carrot sticks as we visited. We walked through the experiences of the past five weeks. We smiled and then giggled as we relived the different events. Things like the experience of having my ears pierced, trying on dresses, and Sal’s touch. Sandy and I talked about the various things we did, the cars I painted and whether I succeeded or not in being a girl. Sandy was complimentary saying I did make a cute young girl. I even managed to woo Sal into liking me.

Finally, I was back and checked which earrings I would select tonight. I second guessed colors as well as shades of my makeup and pantyhose. Down inside me, there were many emotions I couldn’t identify, I just knew I was excited.

Sandy had herself ready quickly and had me sit on a stool; it was like getting a makeover. “Cami, I like the colors you went with. I hope you too took pleasure in the experience of preparing for tonight. And when you look back on tonight and the past five weeks I hope you will be proud of it, all of it. I hope that doesn’t sound too silly.”

“You’re not leaving me are you Sandy?” I held her hand as I asked. She smiled and I said, “Sandy, I was so lucky to have you help me, not even my sister was here as much.”

“Cami, your sister and I are both nervous about you and tonight. She’s been there for you, but she was afraid of saying the wrong thing. I helped you with her blessing. I agree with her, I too want you to be extra careful tonight. We don’t want you to get hurt.”

“What are you talking about; I got one more date with a hot dude. Were you afraid I couldn’t handle him? My Mom’s home next week so I knew this would be the end of the story. You didn’t know it but I even did great in summer school, things couldn’t have been better.”

“Cami, Sal sees you as a hot girl, and if this is his last date with you, I expect him to come on strong and hot trying to woo you to do what he wants. You should not be so sure how he will treat you tonight. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Sandy, I am glad you are concerned. I know I can’t get more involved. I just want to make sure Sal has a good time. He knew I was two years younger than the rest of you. The most we would do is going for a long walk so he can cool down and I could tell him good-bye.”

Sandy’s shook her head ‘no’, “Cami, he would more likely heat up than cool down if you go for a walk alone. I plead with you not to go walking off with him. Would you please promise to get a hold of me if you get in too deep?” I agreed just so Sandy would relax. I was not worried about Sal as I was hot enough about Cami’s last night out.

Jenn came in as Sandy and I made our way out to her car. “Little brother, you’re dressed pretty enough to break a boy's heart. I want you and Sal to have a good time. But I hope Sandy made our concern known to you. I can’t believe I am saying this to you. I’ve been where you are and I had to call Mom. Mom’s not here, but Sandy and I are; please let us be here for you if needed. I hope you have a great night and nothing goes wrong. However, I do feel responsible for getting you into this and I’ll feel a lot better when it is over.”

Sis and I gave each other a hug and a girl kiss. She shook her head as she mumbled, “I can’t believe this happened.” I slip into my seat as Sandy and I headed to meet our dates. Sal was happy to see me and surprised me with my first corsage. It was two beautiful roses which were full of fragrance and little white flowers around them. Sandy called them Baby's Breath which I thought was funny.

I melted a little as one of his hands slid under the top of my dress to pin on my corsage. He was a gentleman and his kiss was light yet sultry. It felt like our lips melted together. “Sal, you know my Aunt is coming home and even if I stayed around she would not allow me to date at this age?” Sal put a finger over my lips and then gave me another kiss.

It was a neat night as we danced a lot. When we’re not dancing he didn’t go off with the other guys like most. He enjoyed visiting with us. His hands were moving around, but I was not innocent either. As Cami, I liked the feel of his back and the strength of his arms as we danced slowly. He told me a few times I’m a hot looking girl that excited him. I don’t really want to make out with him, yuck, but I felt flattered he’ was excited to be with me as Cami.

Because of the softball girls being there the dance was well attended early; even Jenn and the rest of their group were there an extra half hour early. The dance floor like the night was aglow and just before 10:00 Sal and I needed to get out and cool down. Sandy and the team needed to get home for curfew and Jenn and Chuck was having their own great time. I felt confident that Sal and I were okay together.

The country club had a nice rose garden with a nice walk path, all was well. I enjoyed walking and talking with Sal. We sat down on a nice bench to talk some more. There’s too much traffic for a friendly time together. I was frustrated when every time we’re ready to wrap our arms around the other someone came along.

Sal asked, "Is it was alright if we walk down the path a little more so it would not be quite that busy. I need to be on my way home by 11:00 and I wanted to be able to say good-bye properly.” Sal was more than happy. He said, “I’m glad we’re taking it at your pace.”

We don’t walk more than 25 more feet and I pulled him off and we were leaning against a tree. Not totally out of sight, just enough off the path for a little privacy. There was something magical as I put my arms around his neck and looked into his eyes as we kissed. Our mouths opened a little and our lips were warm and moist. It was nice but it wasn’t the first time his tongue parted my lips. There weren’t fireworks at first, just growing warmth.

I don’t know if I first moaned or his hands slid down on my hips and onto my buns as he pulls me up close to him. One of my legs slip up around him, his hand had gone further than I expected. My body responded it was beautiful. There was nothing dirty about Sal’s affection to me. I could feel his love for me and mine for him.

Yes, he’s excited as he leaned against me but all I need to do was to speak up. “Sal, we need to get back to the dance.”

Sal paused, “But we don’t have that long and I want you to know how much I love you,” he said. I looked at his watch and it was already ten minutes before eleven.

The next kiss I initiated out of impulse, “Mmm, Sal this has been such a beautiful night. The corsage was so sweet and special. You warmed my heart, I knew you were experienced. And I am a lucky girl but I am younger and I can’t love you more than I do. I’m young and I just can’t.”

“Cami what makes you think I am so experienced? I haven’t fallen for another girl and I don’t want to walk away. I want you, and I don’t think that is so bad. I’m not talking about going all the way, but I do have protection. Just let us go as far as we can. I thought you wanted me, you’ve been coming onto me. I thought you wanted me. You felt like you were too hot.”

“I do like you, but I don’t think I can do what you want. I need to get home and…” I’m ready to lose it and cry.

“What’s this thing about getting home?”

“I.. I.. I meant, you know I’m staying at Jenn’s house and I need to get there. If Mom, her Mom find’s out I was out late, I’d be grounded.”

“What’s going on, you’ve already been visiting here longer than you said. Now you’re worried you’re to be grounded, what’s up?”

“Sal what can I do?” I touch his chest and then let my hand drop, “I need to get ho… back.”

Sal thought and then smiled, “We’re going to be the first at your house, so let’s go. You can show me where you live and we can make out there.” I began to cry and ran back through the dance to his car. Sal caught up to me and drove me home. We hugged and I felt safe. I was on my way home.

I forgot to tell Jenny I’m going home, but then I didn’t see her either. I saw Deb and Carol told them I was going home, and they giggled as I cuddled up to Sal. Sal’s being good as I move over and cuddle with him as I direct him to our house.

Jenn’s car is there at the house, so we park out front and began to kiss and Sal’s hands started to wander over my body. “Sal let me,” I brought my hands down to his lap loosening his belt and opening his zipper.

Sal says, “That’s more like it, we can both do it.” His hands are coming up my skirt when I backed to the door and he took a hold of me. “I can’t, I can’t Sal.”

Sal had a hold of one hand and demanded to know why I couldn’t. I shook my hand free and I’m free to get out of the car. His hands shook as he touched my breasts.

Sal said, “If someone told you, I’m… well, I’m not. I’m not you hear! I’m as red-blooded as any guy. You got me hot. What’s wrong with you or aren’t I good enough?”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Sal… I didn’t mean to lead you on; I'm not used to being a girl.” I run to the house, but I heard Sal ask out loud, “What do you mean, ‘not use to…’” I don’t hear the end as I slammed the door behind me.

When I got into the house and I slammed the door behind me, I leaned against it. I see Jenn but she’s with someone.

“Who’s there?” it’s my Mom’s voice. A bad time went from terrible to the worst possible ever. I began to cry and I ran to my room. ‘What am I going to say?’ I run and jump on my bed and started to cry my heart out.

I hear the doorbell and Mom answered it and whoever was there ran. Mom came to my room and found me crying. “Hal, what has happened?”

I continued to cry and told Mom, “Leave me alone, I’m sorry, but I can’t talk. I ruined my date and a…” the tears kept coming.

“Jenn, get in here, you two are going to tell me what has gone on,” Mom isn’t one for no answers. The light went on and I knew Mom was shocked, but she didn’t say anything...

Story to be continued…