Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-32

*Before…

I look at Cheyenne.

“Can we talk?”

Mom looks at me as dad’s passing her a towel. “You two are not hooking up you got that! Dylan you’re not going through three girls this summer.”

“Mom!”

I turn red and Shy nods and gets a plate of whatever and takes me by the hand.

“Sure…let’s go where we can just sit and talk.”

We leave but pass Kaylee who’s biting her lip and heading towards the house for her own breakfast.

Hoo-boy I can feel mom revving up even as Shy’s leading me away.

*And Now…

To say I’m feeling nervous is an understatement. I mean I can sort of see where Shy knew that this was coming but she let me get here in my own way.

So how do I start?

We walk all the way over to the edge of the lawn and the last of our picnic tables. I sit with my things and she does the same. It’s so odd watching Cheyenne move really…she swings her leg and kind of plants herself like Jax would but is still girl enough to tuck her hair behind her ear.

She looks at me and picks up her fork. “Are you okay?”

“Me…yes, no…but you knew that this was going to happen right?”

“Yes, I was pretty sure that this was going to happen. Kaylee felt like she was gay.”

“But she was still just experimenting.”

“Yes but you were sort of being an axis point in her sexuality.”

“Huh?” Yeah I’m not all that up on stuff with our kind.”

“You two liked each other and were friends and that’s good but as you started changing and coming into being you, you picked up on her empathically and it kind of altered you a little.”

“Altered me!?”

“No not physically that’s still all you but you picked up a whole lot more on stuff she liked, on the more female side of things than you are normally.”

“So…?”

“So basically you picked up on relationship and behavioral stuff that was in line with her likes and wants it’s actually a shuani thing.”

“Oh…will it wear off? I mean I didn’t notice it.”

“It will but I’ll do a cleanse with you if you want.”

“Uhm yeah I want a cleanse?”

“It’s like cleansing you out of things that you’ve absorbed in.”

“Okay, I get that part but like just what?”

“You keep senses that are memory based important but we also pick up lots of background stuff too. It’s like noise pollution only its psionic and it’s latent stuff that builds up.”

“Oh…like plaque?”

“Actually yeah kind of like or too much junk on your computer it slows you down and messes with your abilities….actually this should be something we should definitely do today just because you’ve started being your real sex outwardly doesn’t mean that you haven’t been drawing all this stuff in before that.”

“Really?”

She sighs. “Yes and I keep forgetting things like how you weren’t raised in a shielded community or even raised with all the stuff that’s possible.”

“Oh and that’s bad?”

“Yes, no actually I don’t know but culturally you’ve never seen a psionic society so you have no expectations of what is possible and what you or I could do. There’s a lot that you would have just picked up living back home that I’ve been sort of taking for granted.”
“So I have a lot of catching up to do then?”

“Yes and no, you’re idea with the way that you came up with blocking yourself it was so fast and so easy that I think most of us would have missed it.”

“Really?”

“Yes, honestly Dylan my biggest gut feeling is to maybe guide you through things but to not lay a whole lot of my preconceptions on you about how we do things at home.”

“But you’re still going to teach me the cleansing thing?”

“Yes because that’s something you really should need to learn how to do.”

We start eating and I’m still thinking of stuff but mostly Shy and me and me and Kaylee and that’s something I really like about Cheyenne is that I know that she knows and can feel stuff and she doesn’t press instead she eats and just is…

It’s like she’s focusing on the food but in a really good way like she’s enjoying it and that helps me enjoy mine but it’s also pretty soothing.

“Shy?”

“Yes?”

“Is there a lot of domestic fights back where you’re from?”

“Oh yes, we’re just like everyone else except for Tuan and Shuan because of our abilities our power can deflate most things with our empathic connection but when we do have then look out because it gets really bad.”

“Really bad?”

“Picture all the negative emotions literally being pushed back at you by your S.O. with their powers so all of the stuff that is really felt in anger or hurt is really getting blasted at you.”

“Oh…oh that would suck.”

She nods. “It’s why we usually have polyarmoric relationships.”

“What!?”

“When you’re like us sometimes you need someone that can’t fire back at you or be in your head like you can be in theirs. Actually the whole maid of honor and best men counterparts in our marriages are those people and more than one S&T marriage has been saved by our beloved’s because of the two of the others being psitarded.”

Okay I kind of snort at that part. I look at her and ask. “So how do you deal with a fight like that?”

“It’s hard depending on the skill or raw powers of the people in the fight and personal histories but you have to remember that these are feelings in the heat of the moment.”

“But if they hate you…?”

“Then right at that moment they did…and that’s healthy, people are a mixture of all things both light and dark and it comes out when fights happen just like the positive ones do in the good times. It’s when stuff gets sat on and allowed to fester that things get really bad because one person fires off and the other returns fire and it can just loop and feed each other.”

“But…oh man that just sounds intense.”

“It is intense Dylan we’re powerful psychics and empaths our whole lives are intense for good or for bad.”

“I’m not sure I’ll be able to deal…I mean this whole thing with me and Kaylee really sucked.”

“It did but think of it this way, you were her first and you were a good first and she didn’t go through something traumatic or just shitty getting to figure out who she really is. That’s a Shuani thing, it’s a part of that whole deal which healing and peace and community.”

“Healing and peace and community…me?”

Shy points her fork at me. “Yes you, and even if it was you and Kaylee not working out you likely saved her a whole lot of heartache and confusion and soul searching.”

“I did, I mean us not working out’s one thing.”

“Dylan when you felt her get to that point of realizing that you just weren’t for her it resonated through you and yes it hurt but when you accepted the reality of what she felt you pulled her along too. I can look over at her and I can feel it, she’s very sure of whole she is.”

“Really?’

Cheyenne nods. “Really and I would actually say that she has a type and she might be partial to girls that remind her of you.”

“Okay…that’s a bit much…”

Cheyenne smiles at me and I blink because I can feel the sexy-playful coming from her and its pretty damned sexy as feelings go… “I would if it was me Dylan.”

Okay I’m seriously blushing now.

I bite my lip and smile and we finish eating together then we walk back to where everyone else is at and I look at Mom and Kaylee and they seem okay…well I can feel mom doesn’t like what happened between us and at the same time there’s some lingering feelings of…

Oh…oh she knows I took Kaylee’s virginity.

Yeah one look in Mom’s eyes and I know she knows and I can just imagine the conversation after that one.

I look at both of them. “Are we all good here?”

Kaylee nods. “I think so I’m going to get my things ready.”

She leaves and mom looks at me. “How are you good with this?”

“I’m not Mom but at the same time Kaylee’s been up front with me and we had a great time dating and me being a lesbian sort of with her kind of let me sort of safely jump into my own deep end with things too…we’re friends still and I’d rather honestly that I was with her than some guy that she wouldn’t have wanted really touching her for her first time…I wasn’t it…that’s cool but now she knows and I’m cool with that.”

Mom looks at me. “Okay, that’s kind of what she said but longer…it’s just I’m just scared you’re hurting more than you’re letting on.”

“Honestly we are mom, we’re just faking the break up hurts because we know we’re not for each other and it’s easier to cry about the almost alone and not wreck our friendship my guilting the crap out of each other.”

She shakes her head again and gets up from her seat and heads to the coffee. “You guys hook up way too fast and stuff these days for me. And you’re acting too grown up about this…”

“Cheyenne’s helped a lot just spent time talking it out and…”

“And…?”

“I knew it really might be coming or well going to end up this way.”

“And you still slept with her?’

“Yes and it was still amazing…but it still just wasn’t what she needs.”

“Oh Honey…”

Mom comes over and she hugs me and I hug her back and it’s kind of such an odd thing she feels better knowing that I’m not totally alright with this. It’s like she was looking for permission to “Mom” me.

“Thanks Mom, this really helps.”

She smiles and lets me go and she leans down and she kisses my cheek. “Whenever and wherever you need me I’ll be there…I’m your mom.”

“Definitely, no matter what.”

She heads off and Shy and I do the same and we’re getting lunches and stuff ready and so is everyone else for another day of raking blueberries. Summer’s almost over and this is one of those last big things to get some spending money for all of us.

I look over at Shy. “So…the cleanse?”

“C’mon we’ll do it now.”

“Now?”

“Yes, it doesn’t take that long but we should go down to the water to do it.”

“Why?”

“We’re life receptive, there’s so much life in the ocean that it amplifies our powers somewhat.”

“Oh…”

We head down and we just sort of wade about calf deep in the water and Cheyenne looks at me.

“Okay, this is just like breathing and meditating only you inhale…and as you do you feel the new breath, the new life and energy it provides your body coming in….hold it…and as you do and you feel the strain in your body as the air is running out and getting bad you picture inside of you all the things that you have inside of you clogging you up coming off of you like steam…and exhale it all out and release it…another breath…hold…and like steam…that incoming air and life it brings is refreshing and washing it all out of you and just like air it goes to all the cells…and exhale…”

Cheyenne has me do that for five minutes or so and I can honestly say with her talking and her guiding me with her feelings of things because she’s done that it’s kind of like that…like I’m washing things inside my psyche out and clear with each breath.”

By the time I’m done I feel…I feel different better but…

Like I ran awhile and got all sweaty and just had a great shower and a good release cry at the same time.

I look at Cheyenne.

I extend my hand and she takes it and we head up the beach path and back to the others.

Not needing words for how just good and thank you I’m feeling right now.