Don’t Blame Me I’m A Martian-30

Previously…

“Kaylee…”

“Mmmm?”

“Thank you…that was so…”

She kisses me sleepily but still lovingly and long and deeply before settling in breasts together just off set and she puts her head on my shoulder.

“Yeah, it so was Dylan.”

It’d have been a bit jarring to feel that she didn’t say that she loved me but she sort of does and at the same time she’s not ready either…and there was still something sort of missing to her no matter how amazing this was and she’s not going to voice that she wishes that she could…that I had…

What we just had was good and I knew the score before we got that close…she still wants a real girl, she loves me in that deeply cares for me friends with benefits way but yeah.

My girlfriend is a lesbian.

And sometimes having alien powers can suck.

And Now…………..

If I wasn’t actually sore and tired and drained I probably wouldn’t have slept at all after feeling what I felt with Kaylee. God that just sucks y’know. I mean I know in my head that my heart was more into Cheyenne than her but I really still wanted this and wanted to give us…a chance.

I was even that into it that part of me really wanted it because for all that Kaylee is a lesbian or a bi-leaning lesbian she’s still normal and normal is so special right now.

Morning almost makes me want to cry.

I love it…I do I feel the world have that burst of waking up and it’s amazing but it’s also right now this clear defining thing of just how different I am from everyone but Shy.

And Shy is amazing but she’s scary too.

I dozed just from being tired after the life song slipped into the back ground of the world and I stay there awhile until I can’t sleep very more and I watch her sleep.

I touch her and feel.

She doesn’t regret it but…

But I’m not what she actually needs even if she’s not admitting that to herself yet.

I’m really leery of doing this but I focus on that thought that feeling inside her and I just quiet down the rest of her thoughts until that’s there more.

God should I have even?

But I’m not forcing things, I’m just pointing it out to her a bit more of what she’s already feeling.

I love her too I mean Kaylee has been such an amazing person to me during all of this and I want her to be happy and stuff and she won’t be happy with me.

So I need to let her go and it’ll just be better if we do this as friends maybe…better if this was her idea.

I feel so off doing this to someone though.

I wipe at my eyes a little and lay back down and agonize over what I just did and if it was right or if I just like feeling assaulted her and I pull my pillow down over my eyes and I guy breathe through the tears to keep from sobbing.

I’m just getting that under control when I hear Kaylee. “Dylan? What’s wrong?”

I let her pull the pillow away and I look at her and she’s looking at me and…ow…ow…ow…fuck she’s looking at me like she’s the one who’s feeling guilty.

“Nothing just…God Kaylee I just made a mistake.”

“I….Actually Dylan I think that was me…”

Ow…ow…ow…no…

“Kaylee…I…”

She reaches out and she puts a finger over my lips and she leans over and kisses me there too and a few tears fall from her eyes.

(Sniffle.) “No…Look Dylan I love you, I do but I haven’t really been fair to you. I’ve loved being by you through all of this and I will always love our times we had this summer but it’s not fair…I was using you to try and figure out my sexuality.”

“I know…you told me...but Kaylee.”

“Yes god Dylan you have an amazing butt.”

“I’m trying to be serious Dammit!” (Sniffle.) I rub at my eyes. “Effing estrogen…”

“I’m trying to be serious too…I…I…I’m so glad that you’re my first Dylan I want that to be clear I will love you forever for being that for me but…”

I sigh and rest my arm on my forehead. “You just know that you’re into real girls.”

She looks down and blushes. “Yeah…and you’re awesome and hell you’re beautiful and stuff but that…that other part of you just isn’t for me.”

“It’s more than the part right?”

She smiles at me. “No, it’s not your dick Dylan…honestly I’m not sure it was anything but a good experience but it the other stuff.”

“That I’m still a guy despite all of this…”

She nods. “Actually yeah…I mean it’s…you’re so hot but at the same time even when you’re struggling with this you’re still a guy and as much as you’ve changed over the summer it’s just…”

“Not what you’re looking for?’

She slips out of my bed. “Yeah and I can’t even say that it’s any one thing really it’s just there are times when I am really into you and then there’s other times you just feel like a guy and…and I mean I don’t hate guys…but they just…it’s just too alien for me?”

I bite my lip on what I could say to that and just nod.

She takes it as another kind of gesture entirely.

She looks at me. “You get it? Are we good?”

I can feel that’s important to her.

(Sniffle.) “Yeah we’re good.”

“Okay, I’m going to go and shower and stuff. Uhm how do you want to tell you’re mom?”

“I’ll talk to mom it’ll be okay.”

“Say’s you she’ll beat me.”

“No she won’t.”

Kaylee smiles at me and waggles her eyebrows. “You want to share a shower?”

“Kaylee…really? I mean we just kind of broke up.”

“Yeah but I don’t mind it there and…”

“And what?”

“You’ve got excellent boobs.”

“Kaylee Jeeze! No!”

She grins and she heads out and I lay there for awhile trying to get a grip on myself. She feels okay…and I know that’s what she was feeling anyway but did I do the right thing? Or was it a bad thing to do?

I need to talk to Cheyenne about this. I mean she has a whole other morality about this and stuff and Jax seemed fine and stuff and I guess I need to get my head around what I am.

Okay…

Okay…

I get up and I head to the main house where they’re making breakfast and stuff and I see Shy hanging with my family and I smell lobster?

For breakfast?

I get closer and Shy looks at me and there’s this sort of sympathetic look there like she knows. Well she likely did. I mean she’s has to have miles more sensitivity than me right she was born into our culture and taught.

Mom looks at me and she get’s this look and I can feel her just get this feeling in her stomach that she knows Kaylee and I went sideways.

She brings me a coffee. “You okay?”

“Yeah and no.”

“What happened?”

“Kaylee and I made love and we realized something while we did it.”

“What?”

“She’s a lesbian and I’m too much of a guy for her really.”

“Too much of a guy?” I can feel her mad and at the same time she’s trying to wrap her head around it and the whole Kaylee being a lesbian thing too.

I can’t help it.

I am still too much of a guy not to smart off and she’s just taking a drink of her coffee and I take a drink of mine. “Yeah, my dick’s too big I think I broke her.”

She spit sprays her coffee and coughs a few times. “Dylan!”

Jax is laughing his ass off like I though he would and dad’s covering his amusement with his hand a second and he coughs at me. “That’s twenty dollars.”

It broke everything up and I grin a little sheepishly. “Done it was worth it.”

There’s this sort of feeling though that as much as I’ve changed that was still the real me smarting off just like I used to and that’s good from what I feel and I look at Cheyenne.

“Can we talk?”

Mom looks at me as dad’s passing her a towel. “You two are not hooking up you got that! Dylan you’re not going through three girls this summer.”

“Mom!”

I turn red and Shy nods and gets a plate of whatever and takes me by the hand. “Sure…let’s go where we can just sit and talk.”

We leave but pass Kaylee who’s biting her lip and heading towards the house for her own breakfast.

Hoo-boy I can feel mom revving up even as Shy’s leading me away.