Don’t Blame Me I’m a Martian-2

Chapter-2

At first it’s dark and then there’s this swirl of things flashing around me in the way they catch you up on TV for a show by showing you stuff from all the shows before. Then it hits me. As my show starts up.

I’m adopted?

I’m growing boobs…?

I wake up in bed with this guy in my bed, he kind of looks like Hayden Christenson? The dude who played Anakin Skywalker…He leans over and kisses me. What the fucking hell! I’m getting kissed by a guy! I try to push him off and a giggle escapes my lips.

…A giggle?

“Morning honey, what do you want for breakfast?” He asks me his blue/grey eyes staring deeply into mine.

“Uhm…” My voice is high pitched and girly and the way it comes out I might as well be saying “d’uh.”

“You’re so hot Dylan baby.”

Again I giggle.

Hayden starts to rub my chest and it feels so good, a bit itchy but good and oh, oh crap my boobs are swelling. It feels so good and I can stop him and the more he rubs and plays with my boobs the more they grow and swell up, A-cup, B-cup, C-cup, D-cup, DD-Cup, DDD-Cup I don’t want this!

JJ-Cup!!!

Finally I wake up screaming and the first thing I do is have this hysterical nightmare reaction and slap my hands to my enormous jugs just like that kid from Home Alone.

Hard…Okay I was dreaming and I might be growing these little booblets and stuff so it might not be the same as like my mom or my sister but the pain…

Cut to the scene where the kid from home alone slaps the aftershave to his face.

Cut to the scene in real time panning back from the hospital I’m in and some guy out in the parking lot hearing my scream on super never felt before unintended pain.

Several things happen all at once.

I scream. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” Then “Fuck!” and curl up around myself on the stretcher.

Hillary shoots here diet coke out of her nose from where’s she’s sitting or was where she was sitting.

Jax starts laughing at me finding it apparently too funny to breathe as he’s doubled over in his chair. I hurt, I’m upset and he’s thinking this is funny! He gasps out “Dylan’s growing boobs!” even curled around myself I yell out “Fucker!” and kick him in the forehead.

Mom yells. “Jax! Dylan! Stop it!”

I yell at her. “Fuck you! I’m not you’re kid!”

Hillary yells. “Dylan!” and Slaps me across the mouth!

I Slap her back.

Dad…Dad thunders. “ENOUGH!!!”

Dad doesn’t yell, or raise his voice hardly ever. We all shut up and stare at him.

“Hillary, Jax outside your mother and I need to talk to your brother. Dylan, calm down and just listen. Honey sit down and stop getting so wound up over this.”

Hill and the dick leave and Mom looks at Dad and then me and then him looking like she was going to say something but Dad just gives her this look that I don’t recognize and she bites her lower lip.

“Okay Dylan, I’m taking that you were eavesdropping at what we were talking about with the doctors.”

I cross my arms over my chest then realize just what that looks like and put my hands down and grip the sheets into fists. “Yeah, I’m adopted…What the hell you guys, why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“We didn’t tell you because we never really thought it’d become an issue.”

“You didn’t what about my medical history? I mean do you have any clue to who my real parents are? Where I’m from? I mean it just made my whole life a frigging lie!”

Mom speaks up and she’s quiet this time and she’s crying a little which hurts and freaks me out because as much as dad’s easy going Mom’s the hard-ass in the family crying isn’t really her deal unless something really bad happens, like on the job and stuff. She even reaches over and takes my hand.

“We actually found you here in town during one of the family gatherings. There was a storm one night and the next day your Dad and I took some time away from your brother and your sister to just go for a walk on the beach and do some beach combing. We saw a lot of wreckage floating in the water and on the shore when we heard a baby crying. You had somehow made it through the storm and were floating in one of those insulated plastic food coolers like for picnics.”

Dad continues. “You were still pretty sick and you nearly died from exposure and you were flown to Albany to the emergency infant care and were in the hospital for like five weeks. Your mom just couldn’t stay away and she had even flown there with you in the medivac chopper. We looked for your parents but all we could find was a few baby things in the wreckage and that’s it. The police and the coastguard and people looked for your family but there wasn’t any bodies found, nothing to say where the boat was from and even the FBI looked and checked with the finger prints and footprints and everything you didn’t have anyone and You’re Mom was there all the time and when you got better we took you home adopting you as our own.”

I’m crying a little too now. Mom was really there for me and she’s not like that a lot of the time so it’s kind of a touching thing really. But there’s also this kinda sense of bereavement too over losing something that I never really had and in all honesty won’t likely ever have.

Mom moves from the chair to the bed and hugs me, Dad takes the other side and they both hold me as I cry. I don’t cry for long but I do cry. I look at them. Dad gives me one of his golden smiles and mom even smiles a bit too. “So what now? What’d the doctors say?”

Dad adjusts the way he’s sitting and looks at me in his I’m not gonna bullshit you way.

“They said that you’re developing breast tissue, that after they took a few samples and stuff that they’re sort of…stumped. The best thing they can come up with is something called Chimeraism.”

“What the hell’s that?”

“Well it’s when there’s twins in the womb and something happens that one twin actually absorbs the other one or something and you get some pretty odd things that can and might happen.”

“Like What?”

“Well like the tests that they’ve done show that they think that different parts of your body are just that different. There’s some evidence that these parts are like if you had transplanted tissues from your identical twin sister. You’re a perfect match for these organs and parts but some of them are actually genetically female.”

“Oh, holy crap…”

Mom nods. “It’s really rare and usually comes with a whole lot of health problems but other than what you’ve started to go through you’re in really good health honey, it could be worse.”

“What I’m going through?”

“You’re starting to go through puberty and some parts of you are going to start to mature like a…”

I hang my head. “Like a girl.”

She nods and hugs me. Dad rubs my leg a bit soothingly. I look at them both. “So do I have like other girl bits?”

Mom shakes her head. “They just got some of the test results back and while you were passed out they did an ultra sound but they didn’t find any womb or ovaries or tubes or even a vaginal canal or anything that was out of the ordinary like that. Some of your bone structure is definitely female including your pelvis. So you’re going to have an unusual built to say the least and they have no idea how or why you’re producing the levels of female hormones that you are but they’re equally confused at the amount of male hormones you’re producing as well.”

“Huh?”

“Well it’s like both sides of your genetically differently gendered parts are getting the right stuff and somehow their not interfering with each other.”

“Oh…” I still don’t really get all of this, and I’m really kind of freaked right out and everything. I look at them both. “So can they get rid of them, the boobs I mean?”

Mom nods. “They don’t really advise it but they say once they figure that they’re done growing then it might be safe enough to perform a mastectomy operation.”

“What!, they can’t give me like male hormones or something to me to like shrink them down or stop them or something?”

“No we already asked about that and they’re so unsure of what would happen if the introduced foreign hormones on you at this stage of the way that you’re developing and they’re afraid of some major side effects.”

“Side effects?”
Dad looks at me. “Cancers or worse it might effect some or your organs in a way that they don’t know, it could even shut something’s down.”

I stare at them both. “And they’re not going to cut them off.”

Dad shakes his head no. “They really don’t want to try any kind of medically unneeded surgery until they’re sure you’re done growing.”

“So I’m a freak.”

Mom hugs me. “No Dylan you’re not a freak. You’re our son who we love very much and we’re going to help you through this every step of the way.”

“I’m growing boobs mom boobs…and I’ve got girly bones and I’m never going to fit in anywhere am I?”

“We never know what life’s going to bring and throw at us Dylan; things could be a lot worse.”

I close my eyes and lay back of the propped up stretcher back. The thing is that I know it’s true. We’ve got some kids back home that are really messed up compared to me. I mean I’m not in a wheel chair, I’m not going blind or deaf and I’m actually in pretty good heath considering everything. The thing is, really…I mean really. I’m just growing up. If I’m born this way then It’s have happened anyway right? I’d have never been able to change it so…I guess I can live like this, I mean until we know more. I guess I can stop freaking out now.

I keep my eyes closed because it helps just to deal with everything but I ask. “So now what, more tests?”

Mom answers. “Yes honey, they want to take samples to see just what’s what in your body and try to get a better picture of how things are going and what parts of you are uhm…”

I nod eyes still shut. “They want to figure out what parts of me are a boys and what parts of me are a girl right?”

Dad says. “That about sums it up right Dylan.”

I nod again. “If this is like rare right isn’t there some kind of study or research thing that they can put this under that it’ll get like paid for and stuff?”

Dad says. “That’s not a bad idea Dylan; we’ll have to look into that.”

I smile and look wanly at mom. “Female intuition I guess.”

She stares at me, and stares at me then she snorts and starts to laugh. I can’t help but to smile because this is the first time I’ve really gotten that reaction out of her. Dad’s laughing too but Dad’s always had a good sense of ha-ha. Even I start to laugh. Until we’re all kind of spent and emotionally drained.

Mom stays with me while dad goes to talk and have words with Hillary and Jax. I know our fight seemed kind of extreme to some people but we’re siblings. Okay I might be fifteen but Hill’s only eighteen and Jax is seventeen so there’s not a lot of age difference between the three of us.

We do apologize to each other and Hill and I actually cry over me and her slapping each other. I mean she’s slapped me before because I mean she’s my sister but this was the first time that I’ve actually slapped her back.

She looked at me her eyes red and her cheek too.

“I’m sorry Dylan I just didn’t really get just how serious this was and just how freaked out you’d be.”

“I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t have slapped you.”

“Its okay I slapped you first with what you said to mom.”

“It’s not okay, I shouldn’t have done that.”

Mom chimes in with. “It’s alright this time but only this time, Hillary be easy on Dylan he’s all hormonal.”

“Mom!!!” I shout at her and instantly turn red. Both her and Hill are laughing together and I…I …I could freak out but instead I lean back and do the whole face to my palm thing. “God I need a Midol.”

Both Dad and Jax shout “Dylan!”