Bridges 34

Chapter 34

I am actually more than a little content and happy as we get my things and put them into the back of the truck and we head for home. My place, his place it’s all home to me and sort of fused together nicely.

Brandon looks at me. “That actually has you in a pretty good mood.”

“You know it does. I’ve looked back at when Tanya and I were together and it was such a bad time. I was her sex boy-girl thing that she loved to hang around and fuck but I was never good enough to be like equal in our relationship. I was a wannabee woman and she loved reminding me of that.”

“She sounds like a loverly person.”

“Nope, not at all she was really pissed that you were there. I went from being a lesbian she thought she could just flirt her way into a hook up but once she found out you were an ex-lover and my best man I went in her lesbian-femi-fascist mind from someone to sleep with and maybe even take away from Cass or Cass from me to being tainted meat.”

“Lesbian-Femi-fascist?”

“Oh it’s that worst possible version of the entire lesbian and feminist stereotypes. Tanya’s a lesbian and in her little world with her little friends men are the enemy. And not even because they’ve been oppressed by them or that she had a bad history with me trust me she had no of that in her past…I know. But simply because it’s urban lezzie chic and cool.”

“Really?”

“Yep and a scam too. There are women out there that are the real deal and they have reasons but in the lesbian community there’s a group of the newly out girls that aspire to be as pro-fem as they can be. They might not actually feel that way but it helps them justify being gay and so they act like they hate guys. Again not all lesbians are like that but about fifteen to twenty percent get caught in that stuff when they first come into the gay/lesbian community and Tanya runs her little french revolutionary feminist soldier thing as a scam to get into as many sets of fresh panties as she can.”

“Wow…she’s a real piece of work then.”

I nod, oh she’s that all right and honestly her whole spiel had me fooled when I was with her and because she was such a feminist warrior I was so lucky to be with her and she was so great a person for having the strength to be with me that I took way more stuff than I should have.”

I smile as we drive. “I’m happy because now after all this time and meeting you and the guys and finding a real loving and caring partner I was able to see Tanya just now as how pathetic she really comes across as.”

“Good, now what you should do as the cherry on the sundae.”

“What?”

“Call Cass tonight and tell her all about it.”

“Really?”

“Definitely, she’d want to know any how but you got a little back from Tanya today of the stuff that she took from you in the times you two were together and that you totally shot her down will make her day.”

“You think?”

“I think. And Cass is always cheering for you even when she doesn’t come across as blatantly doing it.”

“Really?”

“Hey, I’m the one with her and the horses all the time. The only time I’d be hearing your name more is if you were actually there.”

I smile and blush and kind of hug myself happily and we pull into my yard and Brandon helps me unload my things into the house and we then walk over to his place with me grabbing a plastic shopping bag with some potatoes in it since he’s out of them right now.

I do call Cass on the way over.

“Hey…”

“Hey beautiful I’m glad that you called.” I love the way I can feel the smile in her voice.

“I just wanted you to know that I got in alright and that I had a bit of an adventure.”

“Oh, what happened?”

“I ran into Tanya.”

“Tanya?”

“My ex.”

“Oh…are you okay?”

“Oh yeah actually I’m pretty good. She didn’t recognize me.”

“Well honey it’s been years.”

“She tried to pick me up.”

“That hussy did she know that you’re married?”

“Oh she wanted to pick you up too, she was totally fine with a three way.”

“Ugh…sorry no fucking way.”

“You don’t do three ways?”

“Closest I ever got was the night Brandon almost joined us. No…I like sex sure but I like making love more and I couldn’t do either knowing that was the woman that made your life hell.”

“Thank you beautiful…you have no idea how much it means and how good it makes me feel to hear you say that.”

“Well…I do know because I really do feel that way and I hate anything that makes you feel bad.”

“I love you too and I’d never think of being with anyone but you too.”

“But what about…Brandon?”

“We’re good Cass.”

“But…we’re leaving him alone…and I’m here and he’s there and…”

“Cass.”

“Yeah…”

“Thank you for loving both of us but you ever think that we both want things exactly as is?”

“But you two were together before we were.”

“And six o’clock comes before seven honey and just because the clock’ll hit six again doesn’t mean I’ll be doing the same thing.”

“Oh…really… oh…Sam…”

Brandon takes the moment to add in. “Here Sam give me the taters and you can keep having phone sex with Frodo.”

It took me a minute to get that one but Cass was giggling over the other end of the line and I start taking to potatoes out of the bag and throwing them at him. He’s laughing and dammit I’m laughing too and it’s not fair because he’s got good hands and he’s catching most of them.

Cass pipes up. “You two have fun okay? I have to go I’m still working y’know.”

“Okay lover call you later?”

“Unless I call you first beautiful and I mean it have fun before you dive headlong into all the books and stuff.”

“I will I promise.”

“Sam…?”

“Yes?”

“I love you, I really do.”

I mist up at that just the sound in her voice and the feelings there it’s making me all choked up and glomphy feeling.

(Sniffle-smile.) “God I love You too Cass…you are My Hope…”

(Sniffle-smile.) “Oh…you suck now I’m going to be all sniffly and tear faced for the meeting…”

“You’re aloud you’re preggers.”

“Yeah…” (Sniffle.)

“Yeah…bye mommy…bye baby….”

(Sniffle…Bye wife…Bye Mommy..”

She hangs up because she had to go and I’m so emotional I have no idea what to do with myself until Brandon comes over and her wraps me in a huge hug.

“Sam…it’s alright to bawl and be happy…”

I hang onto him and I cry, it’s a little freak out for some damned hormonal reason but I’m entirely happy. He walks me into the house and then the kitchen and I’m better after five minutes or so.

“Sorry, I have no idea what happened.”

“Don’t be its PTSD.”

“No…it’s wasn’t that.”

“Sam…you’ve been hurt that bad by life for that long when you get serious doses of happy yeah…you’re having a reaction because of that.”

I look at him and he passes me a beer from the fridge and get’s his own and he’s pretty serious looking about the whole thing.

“It kind of makes sense. I mean really there’s still the whole is this really MY life going on and everything.”

He touches beers with me. “Exactly and that’s perfectly okay for you to feel like that when it does happen until you get used to it.”

“Or I mess something up wanting the return to the bad times.”

“Well there is that, people get addicted to the way the chems work in their head after awhile and new feelings are a literal shock to the system after awhile. But don’t worry about doing something stupid to make things go that way.”

“Well I wasn’t planning to but I do get the psyche behind it now that we’re talking about it.”

“Yeah but you won’t.”

“Oh?” I take a long drink of beer as he takes out the elk steaks.

“Nope you my girl will have all sorts of other stuff with the new job and the baby and studying you won’t need to manufacture stuff going wrong it’ll just happen.”

I laugh and I go over to help by scrubbing and peeling the potatoes. We just go on from there. Brandon doing the steaks up with a steak rub powder that’s like steak spice but run through a magic bullet until well its powder and he has melted butter with garlic in it that he shoots into the steaks with a metal tipped basting needle. Its wild game so it needs some fat added to it because it’s so lean it tends to dry out a lot fasted than other meats.

Eli’s really good to us because these are lovely monster sized steaks and cut really thick. I do the potatoes first in the microwave until their mostly done and then put them in a roasting dish and don’t mash them but sort of squish them down and pour the rest of the garlic butter over them and some salt and pepper and pop them into the oven to roast.

Brandon grills the steaks, he’s that much of a guy that yes he has one of those indoor range hoods that’s strong enough to let him run a grill in his kitchen.

And we just end up actually stuffing ourselves and drinking beers like two really close friends and spending the rest of the evening in his other room playing pool.

It’s actually a really good night. I think sometimes I get caught up in that need to be a girl that much I avoid some of this stuff as ungirly. But I like food…I actually like a good beer and I still like pool. So it was a really decent way to spend the evening right up until Cass calls me.

“Hey Baby…Hey Mommy…” I say answering the phone.

“Hey Mommy…Hey Lover…” She says back sweetly and softly.

“Sam…”

“Yes beautiful?”

“I’m running a bubble bath, how about you join me.”

I have all these thoughts and images going on in my head. I kiss Brandon goodnight and smile getting into my boots. “I’ll be right over and joining you lover.”

God, even this far apart I’m falling deeper and deeper in love with her.