Bridges 14

Chapter 14

So…

What the hell should I do? I…I break the kiss with Brandon.

“Brandon, Brandon….I…I…can’t, I can’t get as involved as we were getting okay? It’s not good for me right now. And…and I’ve kind of…no...That’s not fair; I’ve gotten involved with Cass.”

I can’t help but to step back a little and hang my head, he’s been so great. He doesn’t deserve my bullshit.
“I know.”

WTF? “Huh?”

“He knows.” Cass says that as she walks up to me and slips a hand around my waist.

“Huh?” excuse me folks my hamster’s off the wheel and ducking for cover.

“She showed up the other day and told me.”

I turn to look at her. She still looks nervous, scared maybe, she nods. “I mean I kissed you and kind of started things Sam. God I really, really like you and I just…I just wanted…a chance?” There’s that really shiny look in her eyes of gathered up tears. I look at Brandon who shoves his hands in his pockets.
“So, Cass tells you and you did what?”

“I asked her, how it was. How you seemed afterwards and if she was serious.”

I look at Cass who nods.

“Most guys would be pissed Brandon.”

“I’m not most guys.”

“Yeah but we were getting into a relationship weren’t we I mean before I…”

Cass hugs me then Brandon just steps up and hugs me too, at…the…same…time.

“I don’t understand?” it comes out as a whine.

“C’mon, how about we go inside and talk about this where we can sit down and really hash this out.”

He says. Cass pulls me towards the house by her arm around my waist. “Yeah that sounds like a good idea Brandon.”

She says it with a sniff and she looks as messed up as I do. I kind of get it that Cass hasn’t really had many relationships and the one’s she’s had didn’t pan out. Brandon smiles that cute half a smile at me and rubs her arm as he passes us.

“You two go in I’ll get the bags and stuff.” Then he heads to the truck, He really isn’t like most guys.

We get inside the living room and the guys all kind of grinned at me. And as we went inside I hear. Bobby and Steve talking… “Sam’s definitely a girl.”
“H’yup.”
“So much drama.”
“H’yup.”

I can’t help but smile and there’s a little laugh from Cass as she’s wiping away a few tears. I slip over and help wipe them away. There’s part of me that likes doing this for somebody.

“So, you and Brandon seem to have gotten to know each other?”

Cass nods and sniffles kind of cutely.

“Yeah, it just kind of happened as we were taking care of your place. He actually brought up the whole thing about me really liking you so much.”

“He did?”

“Yeah, he said me going down so much was a bit…” Brandon comes in with the bags. “I said it was a bit above and beyond where you two being new friends and everything.”

I look at them both, then just him. “So how do you feel about me and Cass?”

“Sam, you know I’ve got this…Me…view of things. I care about you; I think this could be something really great, you and me. But I can see that you’re really into Cass too and I don’t blame you. I’ve gotten to know her too over the last few months; she’s become my friend too. Cass you took care of me too while I was still hurt, you’re all kinds of awesome. Sam, I love you, I mean it Sam. I think I’m falling in love with you. But Cass is important to both of us, you and her might have something too, and she’s my friend…I don’t hurt my friends. So…What I’m guessing, I’m asking more than saying. You think you could love both of us?”

I’m honestly stunned. The thought of not having to choose is kind of not what I expected.

“But what if this heads in one direction after awhile?”

“It can, heck it probably will Sam, but we’ll still be friends, we’re friends now. So what if it does work.”

“But…I...I know that I can’t give you both equal time, or equal attention someone’s going to get hurt…”

“Sam, love’s not about measuring time, it’s timeless, it’s not about who loves who more because we love different stuff about each of each other.”

“But you and Cass?”

“We’re grown ups Sam, I’m good with it. I love you and Cass has become family.”

“But…”

“I keep telling you’ve got a nice butt.”

“Brandon…”

He’s got that half smile on his face.

“You’re really okay with this?”

“Yeah, are you?"

I look at him then at Cass who’s been really quiet this whole time. “What about you?”

She looks at me them kind of bites her lower lip. “I really, really like you Sam; I haven’t felt like this about anyone in a long time. If Brandon’s willing to be enough of a good guy that he’ll let us at least have the chance to try…I want it, I’ll take it and…honestly…I get that he does uhm things for you…but it’s more than that…He’ll be there when stuff while I’m on duty might take me away from you. That’s killed relationships before Sam.”

I look at both of them and shake my head and “I think I need to go back to the center, I’ve got to be crazy, Okay…okay, we’ll try this.” Brandon smiles and Cass has this nervous look but there’s this kind of happy glow. Then the best, nicest and weirdest thing happens. Brandon kisses me but he also puts the flowers I got for Cass in my hands still wrapped. He nuzzles my face and Whispers in my ear. “I some how don’t think you got these for me and she needs a bit of reassurance like this hon.” I nod and he smiles at both of us and heads off to the kitchen. He’s right, I think Cass needs this...at least this much and yet...

He’s just taking it too well? Aren’t guys supposed to either throw a fit if his girlfriend goes like lesbian on him and stuff or at the very least is being with someone else? But then again he’s a straight guy or he sees himself that way yet me being the way I am has never fazed him. And he called me hon…My brain is still kind of going through the motions. I’ve never had that kind of relationship with anyone like I have with him or with Cass.

I close my eyes just for a minute and breathe a little. Then I walk over to where Cass is sitting on my sofa. “Hey…I uhm…I…got these for you.” I pass her the flowers. Cass’s eyes widened and she took them. She unwrapped them with these really big eyes; I’ve never seen a girl have quite that reaction to getting flowers before. Her eyes spilled over with tears too and she buried her face in them for several long seconds. “Oh god Sam they’re so beautiful…I’ve…I’ve never gotten flowers before.”
“Never?”

“Never, I’ve only ever been the one to buy them.”

“Never?”

“No, Never not even from my dad, it’s not like he’s a bad guy but he is the kind of guy that’d never think of them. My god these are just…thank you Sam! Thank you they’re beautiful.”

Cass slides over to me and takes my arm and pulls me to the couch where she plants this long, slow, sweet kiss on my lips. Even with everything that’s gone on today there is just this spark that fires up when we’re kissing. I love, really love that satin, sexy glide of my lipstick on hers. Of our full soft lips touching intimately. My hands stroke her face and the sides of her neck and I gently tuck a few loose strands of hair away from her eyes as we kiss.

A very strong, very erotic shudder, charge ripples through me as her hands reach up and caress my breasts through my shirt and my bra. It feels so different that I’ve ever been touched, so delicately and gentle and knowing. Cass is making me ache in a way that I’ve never felt before and my bra feels suddenly too tight, to constricting I really want out of it and my shirt just so I can feel her skin on mine, her touch.

Cass is the one who backs off and blushes so very prettily. “Oh wow, oh Sam…I’d…but Brandon’s just in the…and you’ve got company…”

I nod but let out a sigh and rest my forehead on her shoulder. “Are you sure you’re okay with this Cass?”

She nods and kisses me but it’s just a little one.

“I am, nothing I’ve ever done’s worked before Sam. I’m too old for all the bullshit that goes with stuff like this if we were all younger. I like Brandon, he saw that I liked you he saw or figured out that we had connected and stuff. And you shouldn’t have to really choose between us. Especially now when really we just only barely have gotten to know each other intimately hell it’s really early for any of us to be this serious, so we’ll try it, and we’ll try really hard to stay friends in the meantime.”

I nod. I really want to stay friends, I really want all of us to kind of have that and I know I sound like I’m selfish but I’m really glad I don’t have to choose between Brandon and Cass. I’m not sure I could, I’m not even sure if I could even handle being put in that position. Even after being cleared and after three months of extensive therapy I’m still shaky on the inside.

“Yeah, I really want us to be there for each other and to stay being friends no matter what.”

Brandon makes his way into the living room from the kitchen and passes us both two mugs of coffee. He has his own too and he asks about the wreathes and stuff and I tell him about my aunt and the plot over in the side field where she and mom and dad are buried. He invites us to go out and lay the wreathes and to go and check out the decorating job that the guys are doing on the house.

We actually check out the decorations that they put up first. My barn has white lights up on its trim and a wreathe that Eli’s family made for me out of ribbons and pine boughs. It’s really big and it looks nice.

There those red and green led lights all the way up the top post of my fence that separates my driveway from my front lawn there more pine boughs there and the lights are wound around the boughs with some extra wires here and there to keep them on. There are icicle lights up in the eaves of the house and there’s lights strew in the two skinny cedar trees on either side of my step. They all lead into the house where there are those candelabra lights in the windows of my porch.

The house hasn’t been decorated for anything since my mom had died, it get’s me all bleary eyed and happy. The guys gather with us as we look around the place and it’s a nice build up to us going over to put the wreathes over at mom and dad’s and my aunt’s. Eli’s boys come over with some shears and clip down the grass a bit around the graves and tidy it up for me and for them. I lay the wreaths down and smile. “Merry Christmas you guys, I know I should’ve done this a lot sooner, I know I should come here more…I miss you guys, I love you Mom, Dad I miss you both, I really miss you…...Hey Aunt Shelly, I’m sorry that I never got to see you. That I never really got to know you and visit you. I’m gonna get it together, I promise. I’ll try to come back here a lot more often.”

I’m crying as I leave things are and I’ve got Cass on one side of me and then Brandon on the other side of me holding me and walking me back towards the house. I love the fact they’re both taking care of me but I really don’t deserve this. Once there, Brandon looks at me then gives me a light kiss.

“I’m going to head over to my place and take care of a few chores. Chuck and the girls are over there cooking us all up a big meal so we can break in the dining room. I’ll give you girls a call? You can settle in and get unpacked and stuff.”

I nod. “Thank you.” and kiss him back. He even gives Cass a surprising peck on the cheek that has her blushing.

I get a bunch of other hugs that honestly, coming from the boys, my boys, my guys felt really, really good. Andy and Steve, Chris and Eli plus his two boys. I’ve got this happy glow going on inside. I’ve been on my own and alone long enough that it feels really good to have people who care in my life again.

Cass and I go in the house and I’m getting my things and unpacking them straight to the washer. I have some dirty stuff to do plus I missed the way that my clothes smell when they’re done at home. Cass used to bring me down different stuff for like a week at a time but they were still washed there a couple of times and just don’t have the same thing. Cass is helping but watching me too. A tiny and really cute smile plays over her face. “You’ve missed a few things.”

“What oh...is there more stuff upstairs?”

“No…”

She walks over and kisses me. The she starts to touch my sides and my chest and my breasts and lifts my shirt and peels it off of me. I raise my arms to let her and there’s this cute giggling moment where she can’t get it all the way off me because I’m taller than she is. Then she takes advantage of cupping my breasts in my bra and that’s just so…I can feel the difference in her touch so different than Brandon, so different than my last girlfriend.

It gets better; oh wow it’s never been like this for me. That feel of our kissing, it’s soft and measured and slow but my skin is burning with the need of her touch, her lips. Her hands are touching and feeling my breasts in this soft yet hyper erotic way that has a few little whimpers coming out of me.

I can’t help but get to where I have to have more of her and start to take her clothes off. He jacket then her shirt off up over her head and then she’s there just looking. So beautiful. It’s so different this time, so much more me as another woman being with this Angel of a girl with long thick cascading golden blonde hair and these lovely blue eyes and that athletic body of hers just barely hidden and restrained by this pink lovely lacy Victoria’s Secret bra. Her DD cups are so prominent and so alluring. I’ve never wanted a girl this much; I never wanted to be making love to another woman so much in all my life.

Cass takes my hand and we kiss our way up to my bedroom, hands slithering softly all over each other. My lipstick blending with hers and our breasts touching, pushing, grinding and sliding over each other teased to where my nipples are hurting, my breasts feel swelled with arousal and then she touches my left breast and moves the strap off my shoulder so gently it sends a chill through me and then again as her touch caresses over my breasts, cups me, lifts it in her and a little and touches my areola with her knuckles the soft yet nubbley skin going over all those nerves…oh… “Cass...” then she gently rolls my nipple between her thumb and fore finger a few times. “Caaass…” I hiss as the sensations are driving me, taking me over. My legs part and my body shifts forward and I’m rubbing my self against her knee…It’s an unconscious reaction then…she plucks me…Her first two fingers and her thumb closing over my nipple a she pulls on it but lets her fingers slide off of it and she does that over and over like she’s pulling on it like it was a tiny little you know…It gets so sensitive it hurts. I want into so bad, even if I’m not sure what it is I want and I can only whine as she’s doing that to me. She kisses me passionately again, so softly I’m not sure if I’m not just dreaming all of this. Cass breaks our kiss and I’m panting but our eyes are locked even as she moves down and takes my nipple into her hot wet mouth.

“Oh…god…Cassie…” It’s breathless, it’s a whine of torture and my voice raises a few bars as her perfect lips and her tongue suckle but kiss my nipple just as softly but as passionately and it takes me right over the edge of what I can handle and I cum in my panties. My knees gave, it came so hard and strong it took the strength out of me and it made my balls hurt…boy ovaries or whatever it was so strong and so fast…it hurt I released that much when I’m really unused to releasing at all anymore.

Cass takes me by the hands to my room and walks me back to the bed. It’s all cleaned up, and neat and orderly and I’ve got a brand new hardwood floor in her to boot. I can’t even tell where it was, the place I shot Brandon at.

She get’s my bra off the rest of the way and pushes me down on the bedspread. She smiles at me and keeps driving me insane by all the naughty things that she is doing to my breasts. She opens up my dresser drawer and takes out my KY warming gel and she puts it on her hands then she massages it into my breasts. She’s is really, really good at using the slickness of my breasts and her hands. I’m kind of reduced to tears of joy and whispering and whimpering her name occasionally when it just not unintelligible babblings of pleasure induced delirium.

Cass pulls back and off of me and she goes over and runs her fingers down my CD rack until she finds one and puts it in the stereo. She strut, slides, sways her way over in from of me and she starts to unbutton my pants and pull them off of me. She’s dancing and swaying as she is doing it and looking right at me and I bite my lower lip and lift my hips to help her. She takes my panties off with them and tosses the onto the floor. The she steps back and she does this little dance turn of her body and flips her hair over her shoulder and starts to feel herself up in front of me as the dulcet tones of Alana Myles starts to sing one of my favorite songs…”Lover of Mine.”

It’s her jeans first, dancing like she’s this boneless apparition of the girl of my dreams that I never dreamt about…I want her, I’ve never really wanted a woman before even when I was in a relationship with one but Cass…Cass I know I want, as myself, as Samantha. And it feels like I’ve wanted her for a long, long time. I love the sexy way she just seems to shimmy out of her pants one side at a time until she can just step out of them. I love watching her slide her own hands up her legs and then run her hands over the exquisite matching panties she’s got on. Rubbing her most feminine curve, sliding one finger under the lace of the leg. Staring at me as she dips a hand down inside and that exotic, erotic look that gets on a woman’s face as she becomes a sexual being just has my own hands wandering on myself. Then she slides her hands up and deftly undoes her bra.
Revealing her lovely breasts.

Oh my…I’m sure my mouth watered.

Cass has these absolutely lovely breasts, full with a really perfect symmetry to them but lush and full and heavy. She has these light brownish pink aureole about two inches in diameter and these perfect little nipples that are just about the shape and size of those tiny wild strawberries, yes about the sized of the eraser on the end of a pencil but just as delectable as the tiny little wild fruit.

She kept dancing and I’m entranced as she takes more of the KY warming gel and rubs it over herself in this very baby oil kind of way but like she was born to dance like this and move like that. She slides back onto the bed shedding her underpants as she did and slid on top of me. she’s soon kissing me and grinding against my moving my leg so she can rub her sex into my kneecap…Cass is shaved there…a first for me. Those kisses are so sweet but the sensations of my slippery breasts slipping and sliding and caressing and counter caressing each other is driving the both of us higher and higher and one of her hands and slides down to touch then fondle the to stroke my Jane Austin….yes, It’s what I call it. I got the idea from hearing or rather remembering some soldier I was stationed with calling his… his John Thomas.

Sorry for the divergence from what I was saying…the oddest thoughts pop in your head during sex sometimes right?

I’m crying out her name again in these almost like I’m hurting breathy gasps and whines and moans. I bite my lip a little too hard at some point in there and she’s saying my name too.
I can’t help but to helplessly buck in her hand as I spill out again more than I thought I could or at all and my bucking moves my leg that she’s on and I see something I’ve never seen…Cass sheathed in sex sweat and nodding her head yes over and over, rubbing, grinding on my knee, then her head snaps back and her nostrils flare and she’s biting her lower lip and crying and whining as she heaves her way to an orgasm, she’s clutching and holding her breasts… “Oh…fff…Samanthaaaa…”

I’ve never seen a woman really have a passionate orgasm before, It’s stunning, it’s what I want so much it kind of hurts inside. It’s not that screaming, moaning, crying out thing. It’s that glow. I watch with excitement and jealousy as she lights up, there’s this glow that suffuses here entire body as she hits that female peak…Did I feel that with Brandon that really great night? Or is this something that I’ll really never touch?

But Cass is just too beautiful to dwell to long on this. She’s still panting when I sit up and kiss her holding her by the neck and slip my tongue into the kiss. Once I capture her tongue I tease it with mine and suck on her tongue like it was something else entirely. I move my hands to her slippery sweaty breasts and cup them, hold them and fondle them, gentle touches and squeezes before I lower my mouth to her nipples. The gasp and cry out is oh so rewarding. I’ve never been like this with any girl before…I know what I love being done to me and I can put myself into her place…Oh…I suddenly get something like this epiphany about that’s part of why same sex, sex can work so well. It’s not about knowing what your partner will like, it’s the empathy of it. It’s really being able to show what you love in intimacy to your partner and they’re able to experience you…in such a unique and intimate way.

I slip one of my hands down to her slick folds and I go with that, I kiss her, I suckle on her breasts and my hand gently but insistently does all those things and touches and inside movements…all those things I feel with that ache deeply inside me, I want, need to be touched like this. And Cass, Cassie moves in my embrace and makes sounds I’ve never been able to make a woman make before. She kisses me back and we’re both crying, saying each others name and she shakes and cries out twice more, feverishly, intensely and the second time she bites my shoulder as she rides and spasms over/around my hand.

She’s holding onto me and I’m holding onto her as we’re panting. Cass lifts her head and kisses me long and slow and deep, she’s crying a little and her make up is totaled in the sexiest of ways. And there is this look in her eyes.

“Sam…oh god Sam!, Samantha…I can’t help this, I can’t…I think I was falling for you ever since I met you….I love you. Without a doubt I know I love you now.”

She kisses me and moves to where she’s straddling me…well Jane, well you know and she holds my little girl and slides down onto me. I can’t help but gasp. I haven’t been in a woman since high school, my lesbian ex just wouldn’t let me, militant she pushed on my dislike of that part of me even though she had a thing for her strap on. Cass just like everything else she’s done and bridged right over that bad experience, that bad relationship. She’s so like that song Bridge over troubled water. I don’t really know it but the sentiment fits. I’m kind of in shock for the first few seconds of it and Cassie wraps her arms around my neck and I lower my hands to her waist and hips and start rolling my hips and we’re kissing and really symbiotic way…My breasts touching hers, that sheerly erotic way we kiss and I let go of the way that I’m feeling and feel it a new way, I try to give her what, I’d want done to me, I try and do to Cassie some of those sweet things that Brandon’s done to me…that even now once I’m finally sorted I want him to do to me…it’s that and more as Cass makes the connection between it all by talking dirty to me in my ear about…

“God Sam, you’re so hot inside of me, your clitty is so, hard it feels so good….so good baby…rub it on mine, rub it on mine…”

She keeps that stream of talk going, it gets to me and speeds me up and she’s bouncing on me and our breasts are together rubbing and bouncing and my third Cum is just as hard if now harder than my first as it’s like before but having Cass tighten up and her insides spasm around me I’m carried away by the empathy of the entire thing.

I swear for a few nano-seconds I wasn’t me, I was her and feeling it…and my orgasm is so much more because I’m having that completely different kind of orgasm than the ones I’ve known. Or used to know. This was like that really life changing night with Brandon but totally different. It’s like getting to the same place, by an entirely different route.

We collapse onto the bed a mess of sweat and sex and slipperiness panting for awhile then snuggling into each other, just kissing and touching each other in a way that only two women can. It’s kind of serendipity that the stereo starts to play Dido’s “Who makes you feel.”

And somewhere near the end of that song we fall asleep. I tried to fight it off, a little scared of the sleep and the dreams that’d come. It’d Cass who get’s me to drift off by spooning into me her breasts pressing into my back but her strong arms around me and our legs intertwined.

“Sshh, Sam it’s okay baby, It’s okay. I’ve got you. You’re safe.”

The phone wakes us. Cass passes it to me. “Iszum Brandon.”

I can’t help it, but I’m nervous as I take the phone. “Uhm Hello?"

“Hey, I though I’d give you two a ring and let you know that supper’s going to be ready in about half and hour.”

“Okay…uhm, thanks Brandon.”

“I’ll see you when you get here.”

“Yeah.”

“Sam…”

“Yeah?”

“I’m really glad you’re home…I missed you.”

“Uhm…”

“You still say that a lot. I’ll …“uhm”…see you girls in a few.”

I can’t help but smile at how, he’s missed me. How he’s still teasing me and everything.
I roll out of bed, and look at Cass who’s face down in the pillow, I can’t help but take her in, she’s got all these beautiful curves. I wish I could have those. I’m getting some extra cushion as my body is putting stuff where it needs to be, but it can’t change my skeleton, my shoulders will always be off and my hips will always be too narrow…sigh…a well, one can only dream.

I reach down and run my fingers on the bottom of her foots and she yanks it away at light speed. I sit back down on the bed and grab her and tickle her. Cass explodes into laughter and pleas and spasms as apparently she is very ticklish.

“Sam!, Sam!, Samantha! Please, please stop, stop it!”

“Oh, how can you be a Mountie when all a crook has to do is tickle you!”

“Nooooo!, please…!” She’s kicking and yelling and shoots out of the bed hand over her crotch and runs to the bathroom.

“That’s not fair!”

I hear her taking a pee and sniffling as I come it. She looks at me and sniffs. “Bitch.”
That’s oddly pleasing to me. She said it in fun and it’s at the same time a backhanded shout out to my being a woman.

I lean down and cup her face and kiss her.

So what does it mean, when you can kiss a girl while she’s on the toilet and still find her beautiful?

We shower together and it’s a lot of flirty fun and us soaping each other up and touching each other and kissing. I really loved soaping up each others breasts and washing each others hair. Then getting dressed for going over to Brandon’s. The thing is it’s Brandon and the guys so I get to be me. I’m this, laid back kind of girl. Give me a pair of cute panties and a nice bra but just a simple shirt and some old jeans. It’s exactly what I climb into. Just my pink zip front hooded sweatshirt and one of my Canadian armed forces issued green tee shirts and a pair of my faded jeans and my sneakers. Cass has clothes here…I look at her as she’s getting slipping into her Victoria’s Secret lingerie and a nice floral print dress that shows off her curves, hints at her under things and is really girly. I smile at her.

“What?…oh…I just I guess ended up leaving a few things here while I would help Brandon take care of the place, I can move it back…”

I kiss her. “No, just leave it here, I like that you have things here.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, really.” I look her over. “You look beautiful.”

“Thanks, it’s just I’ve spent so much time and stuff in uniform and under the vest and stuff I feel like I need to breathe, and disconnect from it.”

I kiss her again and take her by the hand as we head over to Brandon’s house.

“Yeah I get that, I’m still wondering just what wearing field kit like this is going to be like.”

We get over and let ourselves in or Cass does. We’re hit by the smell of fried chicken, Brandon’s place has a sunken living room and everyone’s there. Two girls I don’t know are there and another guy I’ve never met sitting on this stone ledge by the fireplace with an acoustic guitar and a denim shirt with the sleeves ripped off and a straw cowboy hat on his face. His eyes, very vivid blue eyes connect with mine from where he’s at and he gives me this really nice smile.

The table’s being set by several people in the dining room that’s just off of the kitchen but off of the sunken living room too. I see Brandon come out of the kitchen and he smiles at me and my heart skips a beat…He’s clean shaven and that new hair cut mixed with a nice kind of tight black tee shirt…he’s lost like I said some weight, and nice black dress pants.

He comes over and he hugs me and gives me alight peck on the cheek. But he hugs me tight, gives my bum a squeeze. “I missed you.”

“I wasn’t gone that long.”

“It’s not what I meant. You weren’t there the last time I saw you. I was scared to lose you after waiting do long to find you.”

There is just something you can see in someone’s eyes when they really love you.
Cass just give this sideways glance and smile, and pushes me into Brandon. She gives me this smile and walks in to talk with the others.

I can’t really help myself as Brandon was watching the whole thing unfold and I step up closing the gap and wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him. Long and deeply and sweetly.

“I’m here, I getting better an I love you too.”