Not gonna say it. Not even gonna think about "I can't..STOP!"

The nurse showed us into the usual looking doctors room. Table with the leg things that I'm not entirely sure what they are used for. She pulled the paper over the top while Sam did her best to read a cosmo one handed. Dad paced back and forth while mom sat beside me on the thinly cushioned fake leather bench.

The walls of the room were plain white with a 4 in black rubber baseboard around the edge while the floor itself was speckle patterned tile with metal lines. In other words this was one of the OLD exam rooms. The shelves in the cabinet had lots of different stuff piled almost to the top through the glass sliders. Some of it probably dated back to the 1980's. In place of the normal desk with a flatscreen monitor was an archaic looking monitor and keyboard. I didn't see a tower or desktop computer anywhere.

The only new looking item in the room was the chair itself. Even the old no flipping weight scales were old. The new ones can flip between metric and standard but these, there was two of them, were only standard. One at least seemed accurate. The other was at its min setting and was pointing down. The wait for Doctor Brown, no his name isn't Emmett, was longer than I would have expected.

He did come in and click off the button on the wall for a patient waiting and hit the other one say in with patient. Before he sat down at the desk and unloaded the folder onto it. He examined the folder for a few minutes before he looked at me and Sam. He motioned Sam forward and gently took of her shoe before pulling out a small hammer with a pick on one side. He used the pick on each of her toes and did the whole "Can you feel this?" thing. Sam has ticklish feet so she was giggling almost steady as he did it. He even smiled and did a small quick tickle to her foot which caused her to laugh before he had her squeeze his hand.

"Good good Samantha seems we might be able to switch your arm cast to a light cast and give you crutches soon. Your leg is going to take a bit longer to heal though. Lets give it another week and an xray to check the fracture on your arm first." He then turned to me. He did the Spock eyebrow at the way I was dressed. He like does it so perfect it's scary. Mom on the other hand has to put her hand to her mouth each time he does it. There is this book mom says were someone says to Spock "Don't point that thing at me it might be loaded" or something. While its kinda funny she finds it really hilarious.

"Well young la... uhh.. Bill can you take off your coat and shirt please." Its a blazer and blouse you ...why am I arguing? Mom helps me with the blazer and I unbutton the blouse while mom pulls it out of the skirt for me. She neatly folds each of them onto her lap. The doctor then motions for me to remove the bra. Dad has already turned his back on me once I started to unbutton the blouse. I understand as it's that whole I look like a girl thing.

I hand my bra to mom, gods I never thought I would think that, and he takes his cold fingers to my left nipple. He does some prodding that doesn't really hurt but it's still cold so I flinch at first. He continues poking and then he squeezes in a few places asking how it feels. I say its fine till he gives the area behind the nipple a gentle squeeze. That one I felt and it hurt as I jerk back and cover my breast with a hand.

"Interesting" and there goes the eyebrow again. Mom stifles a giggle but just barely. It makes it really hard to not laugh at mom's antics. Doc Brown looks at me from side to side as he has me turn this way and that before motioning me to get dressed again. I was never so happy to put back on the blouse, mom gave me the bra first which I reluctantly put on then the blouse. I didn't tuck it into the skirt though. I sat back down when most of the buttons were done up and I put on the blazer to get warmed up. I was cold!

"So?" Dad's a man of few words.

"So I would like to send Bill for an upper and lower body scan. The blood test came back with some anomalies. His testosterone level is low but in the normal range for a boy of his age." He stopped as he was writing something into some notes.

"And! Oh sorry!" Sam covered her mouth with her hand. I guess she is just as impatient as me.

"His estrogen level was much higher than it should be. Not enough to cause breast growth by itself."

Mom gets this look on her face and so does dad before they both say "And"" simultaneously.

"I wish to run a few tests to identify the source of the estrogen level before I can proceed with a treatment. If the cause is from his body producing it then I can issue a blocker. If the source is a growth the regular blocker wont work. The third is that he may be ingesting estrogen of one form that a blocker would not work on."

"Are you saying my son is taking medications behind our backs!" mom is getting really upset at that.

"Quite the contrary actually. You are vegetarians are you not?"

"Well yes but that should have no effect on..."

"Some of the products vegetarians use can cause an increase in estrogen levels in the body. Soy for example has an amount of phytoestrogens that a regular blocker would not work on. The best way to reduce them is by using a low dose form of regular estrogen for a short time. However if Bill has something producing estrogen already this could cause him to have a higher than current level and may produce breast growth."

"So now what?" I'm so confused it's not funny.

"We do more tests before I prescribe anything."

"But what about these these ...things!"I'm getting more upset by the second.

"They should go away with time once we know the exact cause."

"But I look like a girl!" Dammit there is even tears forming in my eyes.

"Bill honey the doctor is trying.." mom starts as she tries to hug me. I twist away and stand up.

"This is all your fault! You and your dammed diet and you keep making me being a girl and you you.. Eyah!" I'm so frustrated I'm just yelling at her to hurt her to ohhh nevermind. I walk to the door and open it slamming it against the small grey rubber stop in the wall and storm down the hall and out of the clinic.

I walk till I have blown off enough steam. A convenient bus stop bench soon has my behind sitting on it with my legs spread open a little as my arms are draped over them. I know its not the least bit ladylike at the moment and I really don't care. It does not take too long before I feel a presence beside me that sits down. I do not even have to look up to know its dad. He waits without saying anything.

"Hey dad." once I'm calm enough I mumble out.

"Hey son feel better yet?"

"A little."

"That was a boneheaded thing to say to your mother. She is not to blame."

"I know it's just."

"Go on"

"It's so unfair! It seems like everytime I turn around people only see me or want me to be Belle. And I'm not Belle!"

"Ah that."

"Yes that."

"You know what I think." I hate that question because of course you have to say no.

"I think that your being Belle has in some small way made you a better person. You spent so much energy before trying to fit in with everyone but as Belle you stand out so much that you can't fit in. I think that people see Belle as the real person because you guarded yourself so much before that,to them, Bill was invisible."

"So?"

"You tell me son."

"I guess I should maybe like try not so hard to fit into groups and maybe relax and be myself whoever I am?"

"Sounds good to me but there is a more pressing issue."

"Oh?"

"Yes. And young lady if you do not go and grovel to your mother I will flip that skirt and spank your pantied behind till you can't sit for a week."

"Daaaddd!" I say as I sort of grin at him. He meant it in the nicest way. I should go say I'm sorry to mom and I feel really bad about that. Like really really bad.

Dad offers me his hand and I use it to pull myself up. We start the walk back to the clinic.

"Just to let you know but Samantha had a small issue with keeping her legs apart. Your mother and her had an argument that resulted in Sam wearing a tube top under a long skirt for days."

"Okay and the point is?"

"Unless you want the same treatment young lady I would suggest you never let your mother catch you with your knees apart while in a skirt." That catches me offguard and I look to his face to see a grin there. Message understood. Still..

"Daaadddd!"

The rest of the walk back takes time and we chat about small little things which helps calm me down till we get to the parking lot. In the lot you can see Sam trying to help my mother who is sitting on the car seat with her legs out. I can not only see her shoulders heaving as she cries but hear her too. The sound lets me know just how much pain she is in. It's so much that even I start to cry as I run towards her. At the sound of my feet, stupid shoes, she looks up and sees me. She opens her arms to me and I run into them for a bone crushing hug.

"Mom I'm so sorry I never meant.."

"Can you ever forgive me for being such a horrible.."

"No mom it's all my fault..."

"No honey it's my fault for telling making you take .."

We continue on that vein for awhile each letting out our frustrations and failings while liberally soaking the other with water in the form of tears.

It's a girl thing, and for once it doesn't bother me in the slightest.