Sam and I went for a walk, we kissed and hugged but he wanted more...
I was getting excited but did not to go any further…
Sharon glibly said, “This southern belle swooned from overheating her engine... Sis what am I going to do, this shouldn’t happen to me,” I whispered to Susan. …Susan hugged me back and whispered in my ear, “Patti, it did happen and it happened because you’re becoming my little sis. Please talk to me, I never thought I would have a Sis I could hold and talk to.”

The camp is winding down for me and about 50% of the present campers. For many of us, it will, however, include two nights in the city with everyone learning the etiquette that would be helpful to know in the society of a large city and the business world. If you’re a rock star or someone young, famous and have enough money and pull, others will probably be there to show you how to dress or act. For someone who thought a prom was special this was several steps further into a world, I would only be part of because of my Mom and never after this summer.

Susan talked to me as she had gone two years earlier. She had been to a salon and had pedicures and such, but she said, “the pampering and expectations will be much more than you'd probably imagine, please relax and enjoy it. The guy who will be your escort will be expecting a naive small town girl. Part of which might be true, but you do not need to be looked down upon. He will also be interested in picking your cherry. Don’t mistake his male interest for love and real affection.”

“Dah, like I would be interested anyway. I am a boy and I am not interested in other guys.”

“Dah, I heard it was Patti who was going and in Sharon’s words ‘with her engine overheated’. Patti, please do not underestimate how much of you is girl especially when you will look and feel so girly.”

“The gown does feel ooooh so nice, it even makes me look pretty. I like being with the other girls but the guy part of staying a girl, I can’t see it. I’m surprised that I am making it through camp being a girl. I agree it’s practical that I act like a girl on vacation, because of my girl tan.”

Cami and Staci had come over looking for me and overheard our discussion. Cami giggles, “You are so into denial. You will be happy for those soft precious bumps on your chest when you’re wearing your gown. You say it’s only your girly tan that would give away the girly side of you, think again.”

Staci interrupts, “I think you want something else to happen that you could go to school as Patti; while convincing yourself, you are only a guy in girl’s clothing. We didn’t make a ‘Young Frankenstein’ you’ve become Patti. If Willy is half the person you are, I would like you to go back to being him and I’d hope then we could date. But I think I have a better shot at falling in love with you as a girl.”

Mom came in and kicked us out of her cabin and told us to get to our scheduled programs that she needed to prepare for her last session of Life Lessons. We all left but Cami and Staci had smiles on their faces, indicating they knew something more.

I knew something but it had me worried instead of smiling. Mom’s last session of Life Lessons was in the afternoon at the new Butterfly Sanctuary. But I needed to go change and get ready for horseback riding.

I had mixed feelings as I love horse riding and I love my horse April, but alas she’s not really mine. In some ways, she will be the greatest loss in leaving Camp Rainbow. I will have cell numbers and email addresses for others I want to stay in touch with. But I'll only have pictures and memories of April.

April would cost me a minimum of $3,300 if they were seeking to get rid of her, but since she’s a good horse, one they want; it would cost close to $8,000 to purchase her even if I had a place for her which we don’t.

I slipped into a neat pair of jeans for riding; they had a neat jacket that went with them and I wore a simple print blouse underneath. I wasn’t dawdling but as I looked around and everyone else was already gone.

I was met at the stable with a bunch of smiling faces. I did not see them at first but Mom and Susan stepped forward and I knew something was up. “What’s up,” I shouted! Chad walked out of the stable bringing April, “Why don’t you get on your horse.” He also had brought up a pretty brown and white which Susan stepped out and mounted.

I looked at April realizing she might be mine, but instead of mounting her as Susan did with her horse, I quickly but safely walked up to April and hugged her head. Others around us applauded knowing what's happening. Chad’s mom shares that our Mom had bought both houses and they would be leaving camp as soon as their new home is ready for them.

Others soon were on their horses and we were off for a ride. I noticed Mom had taken pictures of both Susan and me, but I did not realize she was along for the ride until she rode up next to me. “Mom, we can’t afford two horses nor do we have a home for them.”

Mom spoke up, “My work earned me a bonus and a promotion and my promotion requires a new home I can entertain people at. So you’re wrong on both accounts. There’s a place up on Warrenville Road, your sister knows the one we are buying. I hope you will be able to keep your old friends as well as make some new ones.”

Just a lot there could easily cost $75,000 in that area but because the house was old and 5.5 acres needed to stay in a forest/woodland reserve program. It needed to be sold as one unit, it was at a steep cost but one Mom believed we could afford. Mom’s major concern was would it hamper the emerging girl in me. That's a good question, but for now not a big concern.

Ahead of me, I had the big city experience and then vacation at the shore all a 100% girl experience.

Now once we make it to an open field, with Chad’s permission I took April to a fast gallop. I mentioned I love the thrill of riding at a full gallop, but Chad and his mom both assured me I had not gotten there.

There's a special Life Lesson time for the campers who are going to the big society dance in the big city. We did a lot of role-playing and despite still being a boy down below, I was surprised how emotionally involved and swayed that I got during that time.

Susan and I went for a long walk after lunch, during FOB, when I was to be resting Flat On my Back. “Sis, I am going through swings when I am so confident of myself because underneath it all I am a guy. Other times I am so afraid because my emotions and thoughts can swing powerfully and fast. I know I can be attracted to guys as Patti. It has already happened and the gaff not only conceals me but helps me to feel like Patti is fully girl.”

“Your character as a girl needs to grow real quick and become strong. This is a very real girl experience, and while the society gig is not every day, the gambit of feelings and thoughts can be. Neither I nor Mom is going to save you from going through this week and or the time ahead as Patti. …I am glad you knew enough to take a walk and talk with me.”

I ask, “Will you keep yourself reachable by phone?”

“Sure I will as will Mom, your friends, and the chaperones. Please call to share your experiences and do not try avoiding them.”

"But what if I find myself going too far?”

“Be thankful you can’t become pregnant and don’t acknowledge you’re a boy unless you are certain he knows. Guys aren’t awfully smart when it comes to sex and it would not be impossible for him to have sex with you and not realize you’re a guy down there”.

“I’m offended by your sexist talk, I am a guy, and while I don’t know everything I don’t think guys are dumb as much as you think or say.”

“You’re right it was a sexist statement and overstated at that, but wait until you relate to a number of them and you are surprised about what they don’t seem to think of.”

Mom sent for me and she, I, and Susan were going to pick up my gown. “Why does Susan get to come,” I asked?

“It was my decision,” said Mom, “I thought she would enjoy getting to see you in your gown as she won’t be in NYC. Get used to it, girls enjoy seeing the joy of other girls.”

“I sorry Susan, I shouldn’t have said it. Thanks, you have been super to me. Actually, I am delighted as I will get to hear your opinion. I think it is a beautiful gown; maybe you will be able to give me some make-up pointers.”

We stopped at the restaurant where we stopped before and see Mama and her granddaughter again. This time Mama tells me no dessert until you know how snug your gown fits. We all giggled as we went onto Carmen’s.

I tried on the gown using the panties and bra provided by Carmen. The gown looked and felt fantastic, but there was something different. Carmen knew it and Mom saw it, but the subtle change stymied me. “I brought up the slit on the left side up another four inches. It is well within good taste and sets off your look to be that of a little more mature young lady.”

I looked in the mirror as I stood, walked and sat in the gown. I'm thinking an older young lady could wear this to a premiere social outing. “You look very elegant in it and your escort will be very happy to have you on his arm.”

Susan said, “Wow, little sister you are very beautiful and we haven’t even done your hair, makeup or jewelry.” I posed as she took several pictures one with Mom. Carmen had the gown taken off and asked me to switch to a padded panty of the same style and I luckily was wearing a pad as I got too excited. Seeing myself with more noticeable hips made me get a little too excited.

We took the time to fix my hair a little, do my make-up and put on the jewelry I will be wearing. Now pictures are taken and I'm in awe about how I look. I give Mom and Sis a proper girl hug as one completely dressed. “Mom, do you see that little debutante,” said Susan? They both smiled as did Carmen and her staff.

Carmen asks to take a photograph and to hang it in the shop. I'm very honored that she wants my picture and asks for me to come back and autograph it sometime. The gown and accessories are carefully bagged and wrapped and took up two-thirds of the back seat. Just such a small thing made me feel extra girly.

The dress resting in the back seat and overlapping onto my lap reminded me of an embarrassing incident some years earlier. Mom had helped a younger cousin of hers to pick up a wedding gown and I needed to ride along and sit in the back with the gown. I was soon feeling weird and told my mom I needed to stop and pee, but she reminded me I had just gone in the store before we left.

Her cousin Leah turned to look at me as my body started shaking and I quickly put my hands under the dress to cover me and protect the dress. I was not sure what was happening. We were soon at Leah’s apartment and Mom hurriedly took out the gown before it could be soiled. Leah pulled me out and helped me to her apartment.

She pushed me into the bathroom and told me to change out of my clothes and take a shower. She would be in to collect my clothes and to lay out an outfit for me to wear. I did as she said thinking nothing of it until I was embarrassed when she stepped in to get my clothes. Because she also opened the shower curtain just enough to give me a conditioner to use in my hair after I shampooed it.

I hadn’t planned to shampoo my hair and I never used the conditioner that was for mom and Susan. I guess now I would do both. Mom poked her head in asking why I was taking a shower here. She planned to take me home since I had my accident

I told Mom that Leah had already taken my clothes and was leaving something for me to wear. I guess Mom saw the outfit as she smirked and told me to make sure I did as Leah told me.

When I was finished showering, I got out and had a few surprises. First, the towel that was lightly scented, it was too girly for my liking. It was the only one out so I used it. I look around and did not see clothes for me to wear. I called out of the bathroom and explain my problem. Leah apologizes, but all she has is an outfit of her niece who was about my size. “I can help you put things on if you need help.”

I chalked things to circumstance and changed into the clothes provided, waiting for my clothes to make it through the laundry. Leah and Mom decided we needed to go out to eat and so I needed to be made up to be a believable girl. Surprising how this long forgotten memory comes to the surface today.

The ride back to camp with the gown is even more enjoyable with my memory intact. We stop at the restaurant for a bite to eat, “Mama” enjoyed that we had sent her some pictures. Instead of dinner we just had dessert and ice tea. Our waitress Naomi is looking at my cleavage as she took my order and she smiled at my catching her. “I am sorry Miss, but you are so naturally pretty. From one girl to another I apologize that I stared, but Mama says the beauty of a woman is best seen by another woman.”

“I agree, you have the character of your grandmother as well as the beauty of her youth.” Mom compliments me on my response.

“Mom, do you think, Mama would be offended if Naomi, Susan and I danced once?” Mom suggested another time and shortly after our dessert, we were heading again back to camp. We take the gown over to Mom’s cabin and then call it a night.

The others were enjoying a night around the campfire when I arrived and quickly change into camp clothes. When I say I snuggled in between Cami and Staci, I am not understating the snuggling in the same way others did. We had but a few nights left and we were enjoying being close. It was not sexual but indeed very sensual; none of us had much sexual experience but our passion for life was deep and strong. Relationships such as close friends mean a lot and can be very moving as it was this night.

These friends helped me to change and grow in ways I never expected or thought I wanted. I accepted being a Rainbow Camper as a just punishment for Lisa getting hurt and my part in the prank. Like many others, I did not expect come to the end of July I would still be a camper and no one expected me to enjoy being a Rainbow Girl.

Julie, Cami, Stacie, Brenda and I received permission to take our FOB, flat on back, time at the Butterfly Sanctuary. Since it was a mild temperature and cloudy, it was very enjoyable as quite a few butterflies were out and even two hummingbirds were present. I got to see a hummingbird up close.

We didn’t know it but a Camp photographer was within a good distance and had numerous fantastic pictures during our time there. There was one picture with three butterflies resting upon Cami and two others flying over her which greeted everyone at the dining hall as we went to supper.

On our way from the Butterfly Sanctuary, Julie ran to catch up to me and shared she wanted to talk. We had visited less and less as she grew closer to other campers. Julie had by now had begun to become Officer Jamie’s adopted daughter or permanent foster child depending upon the decision of Children’s Services.

“I haven’t been much of a friend to you, especially in light of all you have done for me and how much you mean to me,” said Julie.

I paused and stared because Julie had, in fact, become someone special and I was greatly hurt as the friendship cool with no reason being given. I would hear from others how special Julie said I was to her.

“So why now, I have wanted so much to be your friend, but it was like you locked me out,” I respond. “It’s been an emotional rollercoaster hearing how special I was, but when we’ve been together there has been a distance and it was not by my choosing.”

“I am sorry, but my feelings were in conflict and I didn’t want them to get in your way,” cried Julie. She was actually weeping. “You helped to save and free me from the impossible. Jamie said you caring for me was what helped her to warm up and come to love me.” She went on, “When I found out you too had another name and past, a conflict arose. You were a boy named Willy and the truth is I would love to be a friend of Willy’s more than yours.”

“It might not have been fair but I would have tempted and tempted you to become Willy again. I wanted so badly to have a boyfriend I could trust to be healthy. But I realized you growing as Patti was healthier for you.”

“Hmm, Willy could have used help and purpose like that. I did or do as Willy have feelings for you, but you were special to me as Patti. I felt my friendship as Patti could last and grow. As much as I like you as Willy, I was afraid you wouldn’t be attracted to me. Willy hasn’t attracted true friends as Patti has.”

I was supposed to go swimming and Julie’s group was horseback riding, so I quickly changed into a jeans skirt instead of a swimsuit. “How do you do that” asked Julie, making a skirt work for horseback riding.”

“I use a wrap around skirt, boy-shorts panties and a pair of shorts underneath. I know I am a little more fixated on wearing skirts than the average girl, but I don’t profess to be the average girl.”

As we rode we continued to talk, “So Patti does this mean you want me your friend or just to make things right before we go our separate ways?”

“I might deserve that but the girl who helped and befriended me is the one I want to know for keeps,” she said. I smiled and rode up next to her and we shared a hug then rode the remainder together talking. Cami joined us and was happy as she had often felt caught torn between us. “She had the hots for your Willy, I was afraid she could have turned your life back around.”

“Don’t you think that should have been my choice?”

“It still could be, don’t go to NY and stay here and get Willy’s head back together if that is what you want. I will accept you either way, but I like the lipstick and light makeup.”

Julie, “I could find it in me to still love Willy, but I think you’re right a friendship is likely more lasting. Plus in some ways, you and I can learn to be healthy women together.”

The subject changed as April let me know I wasn’t giving her enough attention. We had come to a long open field and to serve notice April quickly turned in a circle and set out in a gallop. Chad, Cami, and Julie set out after me, but April stayed in front of them. I turned around at the end of the field and enjoyed a nice gallop back to the group.

“Wow,” said Chad, “she is some horse. You and April are going to be some kind of match for each other.” The other campers were not wanting to gallop their horses around this open field as we did but at a saner pace.

Since the next group wasn’t riding for two hours we got to have another half hour with the horses. Mom and Sharon were a bit miffed when we got back, saying you girls going to NY needed to be back here getting your stuff ready. We got word we could drive in tonight and have our rooms an extra night.

While the gowns were gathered we needed to quickly pack up our undergarments, pantyhose, makeup, jewelry, lotions, and shampoo, Out of old habit I had taken off my top and was packing in my skirt. Steph and a few other gals gathered around me and suggested I either get more modest or get ready to be jumped.

I was packed, grabbed a half sandwich and yogurt from the dining hall before I jumped onto the waiting bus. There were 23 of us campers and five chaperones including my Mom. Cami brought some music, Staci had the hair and girl magazines and Julie broke out some nail polish.

Wendy another camper was into brushing out my hair and trying different looks as I was looking through a magazine of styles. I felt myself having different feelings both with my breasts and between my legs. I knew it was just in my mind but it felt real and I often felt myself pressing my legs together.

We were over halfway there when I made my way up to my Mom and she had me scoot into two seats with her so we could talk a bit more privately. Mom’s smile and taking things seriously raised my concern. “I came up here for you to tell me to relax; now I’m getting concerned that this girl thing is going further and I thought.”

“Well, several girls had reported to Jane that some of their birth control pills are missing. The way your shape has been changing has caused me to ask if you were doing anything, but you assured me you aren’t.”

“If you have gone out of your way to enhancing your girl experience I should compliment you for succeeding.” I move over and hugged Mom as I teared up. “Are you still wearing a pad ?”

I acknowledged, I had been bleeding but thought it was stopping, but I was still wearing a pad today. I asked how she knew. “There are some telltale signs, I will let you in on them if and when you fully become a girl. I want you to know, you are free to decide who you want to be and you have 100% of my support.”

The driver said we were less than 30 minutes away, so I went back to be with the other girls. We were to be four to a room, two girls sharing a bed. It was expected that I would be sharing a room with my mother, but that was not the case when assignments were given.

Wendy, Cami, and Staci had previously been asked and agreed to share a room with me and it had been approved by Sharon as well as the director. I became a bit upset when Staci sprayed me with some perfume. I thought she was somehow putting her mark on me. But she whispered in my ear, “Please accept my apology but I sensed you might be having girl troubles.”

How did she and my Mom know?

When we got to our room Staci encouraged me to take a good shower and to use the perfumed soap. When I wrapped and disposed of my napkin I realized I was not the only one having a period.

When I chose my long pajamas, Cami joked about me having a period. When I snapped at her she realized instead of a joke she touched a very sensitive area.

“So are you having a period or are all the changes just catching up to you?”

“Does it really make a big difference,” I responded. “I thought I would just be wearing a pretty gown, but there is so much more to being a girl. It is not like I’m going through tough things like Polly, but I feel like I am being a little baby.”

“That’s because you boys discount our issues as being unimportant and baby like.” Cami continued, “If you are having a period and that’s hard, you better make sure you don’t get pregnant!”

I cried and laughed at that remark. “Don’t laugh, if you can bleed it means part of you is acting like a maturing woman,” said Julie.

All three got on the bed with me and swore a vow that they were my friends and that what we shared would be our secret. The others talked about their joys and fears about being a woman. When I woke up in the morning only Wendy was in another bed and somehow, Staci was in our room waking me up.

Our rooms adjoined each other and our side had not been locked. Staci giggled when I told her the others knew and we had shared stories late into the night. Staci came to get me as my mother was ready to take me to an early appointment with a GYN specialist at New York-Presbyterian Medical Center. Dr. Martha Christy took some 90 plus minutes to examine, confirm and instruct me on how to handle my moving into womanhood.

Martha said, “You’re being caught in your childish prank was your good fortune and your discipline was great preparation for a change that I believe was already underway. Your male parts were forming but I am not sure William has ever been a functioning male. Events and the stimulation of hormones into your system have activated the development of your system to the person I believe you were meant to be.”

“I would like to be your doctor, but I think it would be important for you to prepare today for your big society social tomorrow night. You have a lot to learn about being an everyday girl, big and small. …Mrs. Landis, I ask you to support and encourage Patti these are important events and times in her development.”

I want to go through your tube that has bled and made sure there are not blood remnants that need to be flushed out. It would also give me a chance to observe a little of what you might have inside. She asked her assisting nurse to set me and things up for the simple procedure. “And you can check and see for me how big of tubing we can use.”

The nurse was only in her mid-twenties and I could see by a glow on her face that she was finding this interesting working on another younger person in this capacity. “Miss, I am sorry to sound silly but how does one determine the tubing? It sounds like it’s going to hurt”

She giggled but a little, “It stands as much of a chance as being stimulating as painful. I hope you don’t mind, but it is a bit something for me to be handling a pretty boy outside that I could be attracted to if I were younger while exploring the functioning of a woman inside. And either way, I think you are very attractive. That your mother brought you in and is being so caring and supportive is great.”

“If you are really a girl going to a social event, you should have a picture with your gown on your phone that I wouldn’t mind seeing.” Mom shared the picture on my phone as I was now laying back and being asked to place my legs in stirrups.

She started with a 1/8th-inch tubing but gradually worked her way up to a 1’2 inch tubing and with a gel she used I did find it more stimulating. Then she called Dr. Christy back for the procedure. Through the tubing, she sent a camera, light and a flushing tube. Watching a monitor she saw some blood deposits along the walls.

“I wonder if there was something that tried to react with your own sperm… This may cause a little sensation down there” as she began to flush the area. Mom asked a question I didn’t quite hear, but Dr. Christy said it is a bit more like a medically approved douche.” Hearing that my face reddened with embarrassment, I looked to Maria and we gave each other a half smile, as she squeezed my hand in support.

I was again cleaned up and Maria helped me to put on a feminine pad pinned to a belt. She suggested I continue to wear one throughout the day as a protection and that tomorrow my gaff should be sufficient with a thing pad.

We were back to the hotel and I was changed and ready for our lessons in deportment and etiquette. Good posture as we sat, not resting on the back of the chairs, One hand in our lap and no arms or elbows on the table. How we were to hold and lift which fork, spoon or knife, and it was not practiced a simple once or twice. It was practice numerous times until four so it was not only learned but a more natural reaction.

Sharon was glad to see me back and participating, “So young lady what was the news?”

“You seemingly know the answer, tell me?” Sharon looked with puzzlement so I realized she hadn’t known.

“Seemingly, I am becoming a young woman in many ways and the past six weeks which happened by chance and is helping me in the transformation.” Sharon pulled me in for a hug. Cami and Julie were nearby and heard my story. They came up, gave me a hug and everyone agreed we would keep it quiet for now.

We were under pressure as our instructor stated we would be watched and evaluated on deportment and etiquette at the evening meal. Cami jokingly asked the consequences. The reply is, “We will change your escort and it would not be to your betterment.”

We had to wear a plain blouse and skirt for dropped food would be more easily seen. We were one of three groups eating in a large banquet room. It was a light version of a 7-course meal, but items like peas, shrimp cocktail salad were potential problems.

The Camp Rainbow tables were the only group quickly released after dessert and a short time of comments. Sharon told us to take it with a grain of salt as tomorrow was important.

She had arranged a short evening out seeing the lights of the city and going to the top of Rockefeller Center One. Several junior reporters for NBC and area papers were there to interview us. It was an enjoyable and a good experience for any pressure one might feel at the social. The view at the top was very enjoyable for most of us being from small towns away from the city.

We were back to the hotel at 10 pm. and those in our adjoining two rooms decided to have a mini-pajama party. Instead of traditional pajamas, there was more satin and lace camisoles and negligees. Still thinking as Willy in the midst of the other pretty girls, it took me a moment to relax knowing I was now one of them.

Staci was staring at me until Cami and I questioned her. Staci asked me to stand and as I did she had me slowly turn then and not so quietly said “nice hips Patti”. Cami asked me to turn around again as I was now the center of everyone’s gaze.

“Wow, Patti very nice hips for a boy,” said Wendy. Julie came up and whispered asking, “Am I seeing right that you have a pad on, pinned in place? What’s going on, I am worried for you?” Julie took me by the hand to sit with her on one of the beds.

“There are some changes coming but hopefully nothing I can’t handle or anything to worry about. It’s as easy as pretending to be a girl.”

Julie responded and her voice picked up, “I am wondering whether to slap you for being insulting or concerned that you would say something so ignorant..” She drew the attention of the room.

“I deserved that as I really do need your help, but…” I was ready to cry as I pulled her into a bathroom and closed the door. “Julie, I have good news that scares me and dumb jokes won’t get me through what’s coming.”

Cami and Staci knock and we agreed to let them in. “Cami and Staci already know, for some reason, my body is changing and I am becoming a girl for keeps… While I am surprised I can’t say I am disappointed. I know it sounds weird for a guy to say that. I hope you won’t see me as being too weird and stay as a friend.”

“The good news for you is you only need to pretend for a few days.”
“That is mean for you to say,” said Julie. “We thought you were between a rock and a hard place.”

Cami, “I didn’t think it was going to be easy for you to go back to being Willy. It’s difficult enough to be a girl, without starting at 15. We were afraid you would go on without us being your friends.”

“I’m happy because it gives more things we can talk about. I hope you were listening during life lessons.” Staci added, “I for one wouldn’t want to wake up bleeding and not know I was having a period. It’s tough enough as it is. …I hope you don’t mind my asking but did you open up another hole or did you bleed through your penis?”

“If you don’t mind, I’d rather not get into that.”

Cami, “So what has you so scared?”

“There’s so much more to being a girl than I realized. And Camp Rainbow ended up being so helpful and friendly. Going on vacation to the beach, going on with life and going to school. I have a two weeks notice to become a 15-year-old girl scares me,” I cried. Julie was the first to hug me.

“I’ve never been to the ocean,” said Julie; we all paused and looked at her.

“Why not,” Someone asked? Julie felt embarrassed but we all knew it was not her fault. I and others felt petty about our own concerns.

I quietly text Mom, “Julie has ever been to the shore, can I invite Julie to come with us.”

Mom texts me back, “Let me ask Julie if it would be possible before we get Julie’s hopes up.” Julie’s foster Mom, Jamie often patrolled the 3-11 shift, so it was not surprising that Mom quickly got a hold of her. Her Mom is willing but she was planning to go to the beach for overnight at the end of the week. They are off all week but Jamie said it was all they could afford for now.”

“I hope you invited them or Julie for the whole week. I don’t deserve a horse as much as they deserve a chance to be at the ocean.”

“I beat you to it, young lady and yes you can ask Julie for the whole week. They will plan to meet us there come Monday. Don’t say thanks but do find a way to check your feminine pad before you go to sleep and change it if needed. Love, Mom.”

“Julie, how would you like to go to the beach and stay with us,” I asked?

“That would be neat but I don’t think I can Jamie said finances are running a bit close. Having a nice home will be plenty for me.”

“Your Mom, I mean Jamie already agreed that you and she both can come Monday.” Julie became so happy she had to push Cami off the toilet before she wet her pajama bottom. I apologized for being there; Staci laughed and told me my time was coming.

Soon after that Cami and I decided to try and get some sleep. Three of the girls wanted to stay up, so Julie came over to our room and scooted in bed with Cami and me.

Just my luck, I am sandwiched in between two girls, can’t move without touching someone or being touched and now I’m not a guy. It was less than an hour later and Julie rolled over and both of us became heated up and kissed. Our legs and arms were overlapping when we woke up in the morning.

Each camper who wanted and could afford it went to a salon for the discounted price of $75 before tipping. I wasn’t going to go, but Mom insisted that was not an option. Since I went to the doctor’s yesterday and hadn’t checked my legs the day before; they were badly in need of shaving. Staci at my mother’s request removed all razors and hair care items out of my reach. “You’re to be waxed,” Staci giggled.

During breakfast, seven men were dining near us and it visually and emotionally hit me that I would be on the arm of a guy like them. I stood up with the beginning of getting warm and worried. “I can’t, I can’t,” fanning myself and holding onto the table. One of the guys, Brian, rushed over to my aide. With his arm around me and I look in his eyes I swooned with tears in my eyes.

Cami instead of rushing to help make sure she caught the Kodak moment. Brian and his friends were indeed escorts for tonight.

Staci got me and hopefully was taking me upstairs to chicken out, but instead, I was escorted to a limo to cool down for my trip to the salon. “Relax,” said Staci, “You’re going to be so girlified today, tonight will be a piece of cake.”

I told my mother and said strongly, “Mom, I don’t want to be made into a ‘sissy’!”

“You just listen here, if you want to sulk like a spoiled girl to get your way, I will change you into a diaper and rubber pants.” Mom continued, “All that I am requiring is in line with the girl you are becoming. Yes, there are things I am asking, requiring you to experience, but I didn’t force or pick-out the gown that you chose to buy. Nor did I require or accept the jewelry, undergarments or shoes. You have gone this far are going to live out the night as my proud daughter.”

“Mommy, I’m sorry I don’t mean to act like a spoiled brat. I am not angry, I’m scared. Those guys looked at us and it's going to be like that tonight. I am scared most of all because I like being pretty and I am afraid if a guy kisses me, I’m going to like that as well.”

"…I’ve changed not just because the doctor said so yesterday, but because I’ve been changing over the last six weeks. …God help me or forgive me, but I am happy my nipples budded and I bled like a real girl. But I am afraid because of those same things."

“That is the healthiest thing I’ve heard you say in the past six weeks.” I turned around to find it was Sharon speaking to me. Mom and Sharon both gave me a hug. “Now, it’s time to let the activities of this day begin their transforming powers.” They both threw kisses and gave greetings I couldn’t hear.

Julie gave me a hug as she was still wound up about going to the beach. Then she turned to a magazine on hairdos and showed three she planned to choose from. She showed me a picture of her in her gown silver with blue trim; it looked very elegant with her dark hair. I could see how the hairstyles complimented her gown, shoes, and purse. Gone for the evening I hoped were the images of the street-hardened girl forced to grow up too fast.

Julie in many ways had been over the past 4 ½ weeks a good reality check for me as she is again today. It is her friend that I treasure most and was very glad we would get a chance to solidify it at the beach.

By the time we got to the salon, Julie had chosen which hair-style she would use. I mentioned I wished I could have used her third selection, but my hair wasn’t long enough. Julie and Cami both asked if I was in the mood for the hassle of having long hair. Once again I spoke in ignorance, “It can’t be that hard, I already have long hair for a guy.”

Cami said, “Your hair already needs an inch or two cut off to deal with split ends and poor care. If you have extensions put in and your haircut and treated right you could be very pretty, but it would take work to keep it up. We doubt if you are up to it.”

A beautician named Katie came up to me wearing a smile as she looked at my sheet, but she was having trouble holding her smile as she looked up. “This will be a reclamation act if we do things properly?” Katie smiles, takes my hand and led me to her area.

I showed her the style I liked and stated, “I was told I would need an inch and a half taken cut-off and hair extensions used. They also told me if I wasn’t going to take care of it, it was no use. …I’ve been a tomboy and at camp but I would like a chance to change.”

Katie smiled, “You have great potential, you’re a naturally beautiful girl; I am interested in what your gown looks like and see how you get through the waxing. …Wow, you sure picked a gown beautiful enough to begin your dream. I am willing to work hard and fast to do a beautiful job on your hair, but I am not sure I want to see you in two-three weeks.”

Someone else spread the wax on but it was Katie who took it off as well as began working on my eyebrows. The results made the pain worth the while. The air passing over my legs as well as Katie’s light touch sent goosebumps and other sensations up and down my body. She had me wrapped in a nice dressing smock which heightened the feelings I was experiencing.

I made it in time to the ladies toilet as my joy and intake of fluids were at conflict with one another.

Next was shampooing my hair, rinsing it out, conditioning and then to commence with Katie cutting my hair. She was able to get away with cutting an inch and a half and stated my hair was responding quite well to the conditioners. From the top down on my left side she started to attach the extensions but as well as they match, I would need to have it all colored.

Next came the shaping and rolling my hair in curlers and there was the smell of a perm solution. Willy in me wanted to cry and make a fuss, but this time Patti won out. I watched closely as Kate was meticulous. I saw her form the ringlets for the curls that would frame the sides of my face.

Wendy who came in an hour later was going under the hairdryer at the same time. I was surprised that we were actually able to carry on a discussion while under the dryers. While Kate combed and brushed out my hair, while another gal had come and begun my manicure. She had painted them twice, and now after buffing them, put a clear gloss coat that made them appear forever wet.

When did she put my feet in the solution? I don’t recall, but now she was now giving me my first pedicure. My toes and feet till today were ugly, but the rough, hard and some cracking skin pieces peeled off with the goop they soaked in. She edged around the cuticles, worked and worked to shape the nails, even to the point of using a filler that was filed and shaped beyond their former recognition.

I use to wonder why anyone could pay the cost for a pedicure, now I know and think it's worth every penny.

I'm given finger sandwiches to eat while she did my toes and feet. I also got a small glass of Seven-up. I would have argued for more but I wanted to see how I fitted into my gown first. Mom helped with my bra and the lifts that accented my breasts showing enough cleavage for a respectable 15-year-old. The slip coming down over my head sent a tingling that is as much in my mind as it is honest to goodness sensation running throughout my body.

Now I look at my gown coming to me and it's like a sacred garment. The sparkling of the gown I'm sure was the work of angels. Three women including Katie moved the gown down over my hair, my head, and shoulders and down my body with my legs being the last to enjoy how it felt. Buttons were buttoned; hooks and zippers were done and double checked.

I gave a panicky look and said I needed to pee which sent everyone else into a panic. But I had gone to the toilet just before getting dressed and now I was the one teasing them.

All but two buttons were done up on the side of my dress, which to me was unacceptable. I wanted all but three unbuttoned and after that's done Katie, Cami and I all agreed one more undone would still be in good taste.

Everything had taken long enough that my escort had come to pick me up. Mom had already paid my bill and the extra fees, but I demanded fifty dollars be given above and beyond what was paid. Katie had padded my little purse with extra gifts and said more would be up in my room when I got back. Mom's here to take pictures, but she's wise and has a photographer doing it, so she can enjoy the moment.

I stepped out of the salon to be greeted by Brian as my escort. “I hope you do not mind, but after this morning, I just needed you to be on my arm.” Later we found out that my escort got to escort Camellia (Cami), Rose, so he did not lose out at all.

We were introduced as Patricia Lea Landis and her escort Brian Lee Daniels III and pictures flashed and we were taken over to speak to some society reporters. “Mr. Daniels shared earlier that you went out of your way to draw his attention this morning. Was it your intention to get him to be your escort?”

“I am flattered that he was a gentleman and came to my aide, But he is old enough to be my older sister’s date an escort. I gather he is from a well-known family and when I come to know more, I may be in greater awe of this honor.”

“Where in New York City did you find such a lovely gown and would you mind telling us its rough cost? The gown does have a New York designer, but it was done for Carmen’s Fashion Boutique in Paramus, New Jersey, with alterations done with Carmen’s own supervision and work. The cost was plenty for a young woman like me but I suspect it’s modest by NYC standards.”

“There are so many beautiful young ladies enjoying the time of our lives tonight, most of us would just love to enjoy the evening without the pressure of competition or being judged.”

Brian is sweet and took my hand and broke off the pictures and discussion. The meal is fantastic though the servings were small. It was our third or fourth dance when I gazed up to Brian’s eyes that we first kissed.

I was glad that Katie used a lipstick that did not smear off easy. Brian had gotten a nice taste from my lips was worried that it was showing more than it did. I thought that was cute.

There were some 80 young women at the social and sometime during the second hour there began a competition. Seemingly I was among 25 selected; I was neither asked nor told what it was based on. I do not formally know many dances though through my family, school and Camp Rainbow I have been introduced to a few. My great advantage is Brian knows how to dance and leads very well.

Several hot looking girls did moves that would have been nearly impossible with my gown, and unknown to others with my limited ability. While I was kind of glad that I made the cut at 15, I'm kind of relieved when I did not make the final five. Seemingly the selection was near to be made when I raised my hand and asked, “Will we hear anything from the women you are selecting from?”

“She will get to speak right after she is selected,” was the statement.

Julie spoke up, “It may be a little late to measure her ability to speak or think for herself! I, for one, would like to know if she is yet taking a second or third language and what her interests are beyond dressing up. Does she have any humanitarian interests or political savvy?”

Her questions were in some ways unfair as she knew that Camellia could respond to all of what she asked very positively. Members from a group in the City tried to put Cami on the spot by suggesting she be first to be asked a question or two.

She was first asked if she could speak any other languages, “I have taken Spanish in Junior high and I will take German beginning this semester, but I already know it in part through our extended family.”

Then she was asked what nation was the biggest threat to the United States presently. “China as a nation might be technically the correct answer, but the biggest or most active threat is militant terrorism. I happen to think the biggest threat is the strength or weakness of democracy in Western Europe and the United States. Capitalism and its abuses to me threaten democracy from being strong and healthy. I am sorry that is not a simple answer but I think simple answers are part of the problem.”

There was a break and then it was decided that seemingly not enough amount of time was allocated for the selection of a debutante, but they would give recognition to selections made by reporters and society editors present this evening.

While Camellia Rose was given special recognition it was a very beautiful young lady from Upper Manhattan. Rumor had it that she was to be the runner-up but that she was a better speaker and had more exposure to the world.

Brian and I went for a walk. I tried to tell Brian he was out of my league and enough older that it would be a problem in socializing, “I am, not asking for a commitment nor offering myself exclusively to you. I would like to be able to date you if your mother would allow us to. Let’s give ourselves time,” Brian said holding his ground.

“Brian, why me, you probably could have most of the girls in your college?” His hands slipped down on my butt as I wrapped my arms around his neck and the kiss was warm, gentle but conveyed strong emotions.

He whispered, “It isn’t about what one can have; I fell for you this morning.”

I wanted Brian in the worse way as we made our way back to the ballroom. Cami came up with her escort Rick. They too had hit it off. I could tell that her gown had been off, but not sure why? “Go to the bathroom and have help taking off your gown; then if you want to make-out it doesn’t need to be known by everyone,” Cami suggested

“You think I want to make-out with him.”

“If you don’t you should wipe that look off your face and cool down with a few pieces of ice,” Cami. I took her by the hand and we went off talking. I was surprised that she knew my gaff could take a man. “If he goes up he should find your hymen intact, try to keep it that way.” She handed me a pack of lubricant on our way back to the guys and we stopped off at the restroom.

Brian was talking to my Mom who was to have been hidden away in the background. Then an NY Times Society Editor asked permission for our picture and visited with us for a short while. Brian wanted a few more dances, and then showed me a key to a room on the eighth floor.

A tape played in my head from my sister Susan, “You don’t have sex on the first date, even with promises of seeing each other again.”

“Brian, I am sorry, but it isn’t happening. I like you a lot but even if I knew you before it wouldn’t happen.”

Brian asked if we couldn’t at least go up to the room for about fifteen minutes, to which I was indignant. “So you wouldn’t mind saving a little face with your friends at my expense?” I called over Julie and shared my information. Julie had already been so invited and the three of us felt a need to inform others from Camp Rainbow.

Unfortunately, two of the campers had already been upstairs one swearing nothing happened, but the other girl said nothing. We figured we were all big enough to make decisions without consulting each other

Brian and I like most to the others closed out the night having a really good time. Brian wanted my cell number but I told him to write to me in care of the Camp instead that they would forward my mail for at least a month.

My feet were beginning to hurt so I lost the shoes, and the guys were spending more time talking their stuff, so I enjoyed the last half hour dancing with girls as a group and individuals. There was a girl Marcia from Manhattan who danced with me and asked about my attraction to other women. I acknowledge generally I wasn’t interested, “I can’t necessarily say the same about you.”

The last two dances were with Camp Rainbow girls, but Marcia and I found each other and shared information despite not knowing how we might ever meet again.

That night was long as we stayed up visiting about our salon experiences and going to the social. I was surprised that many others like me found the salon and the society ball as most enjoyable as opposed to the guys who escorted us.

The most impressive thing about the guys was to be with older guys. Except their wanting to bed us they accepted “no” better than younger guys. Several wondered if it was because inappropriate behaviors would be more easy to trace back to a specific guy.

Mom, Sharon, and other chaperones helped us to hang and store our dresses properly.

Wendy, a few others and I wore our swimsuits under our clothing for the trip back. Camp Rainbow and Camp Arrowhead had a swim completion during the afternoon and a dance as our final event Friday night.

The high school girls were holding their own in the competition but our age group got off to a bad start without us. I wasn’t planning on competing until when I saw Cafferty and another boy were swimming the 200 freestyle and I felt a tinge of payback. I told Wendy if she swam as well as she could, we could take first and second place and embarrass the guys a bit.

I knew Willy could beat Cafferty and was pretty sure I could. I knew that if Cafferty thought a girl would beat him he would fake a cramp. It was surprised shortly after our swim event started it might be me who came in second place ahead of Cafferty. Wendy was swimming a great race and I needed to concentrate on doing my best. While it seemed a photo finish to me there were no photos and Wendy was judged to have won.

Shortly after my race I put on some shorts and a top and went to get April. Mom had asked me to water the flowers of the Butterfly Sanctuary so I got April and staked her out nearby. It was nice to have something so mundane to do and April nearby to share the time with. I talked as though she could understand everything. My world as a girl had been Camp Rainbow and as Patti, I had much more to pack than Willy ever did.

I didn’t know how long she was there behind me, until Jenny said, “Hello Patti.” I had seen her plenty of times but we rarely said more than ‘hi’ in passing. “I feel for you, it’s going to be a big change but I think you will do really well if you try as hard as you did here.”

“Thanks, Jenny, I thank you for your sensitivity. It is really nice that you care. I am actually more afraid with the thought of leaving now than I was when I tried to pretend to be a girl.”

“Why would you be afraid, it now seems so natural to see you like a girl,” Jenny asks?

“Because you other girls are like a security blanket, when I made a mistake you would either giggle and then help or go out of your way to help me learn to be a better girl.”

“Could you stop watering the plants a minute so I can brush out your hair? It will get tangled and hard to brush soon if not attended to.” I could hear a number of voices in my head telling me about long hair. But it was nice to have Jenny brush it out, I don’t know where they came from but she used three hairpins as she caught the curls and style of my hairdo.

Jenny shared a quick synopsis of my time from Lisa’s accident on as a Rainbow camper. “You were small enough that you didn’t appear to be a special catch until Sharon introduced you as our own little ‘Barbie Boy’. Your character in staying there for Lisa and then showing some class as a would-be girl and trying to accept things in stride said a lot about you and brought us on as friends. … You made a big difference in helping Polly. Somewhere you stopped being Willy acting as Patti and became Patti growing as a girl. I really enjoyed our raid onto Camp Arrowhead and our surprise as they came onto our camp.”

Jenny and I visited and she lived close by in Bound Brook and I had played against her brother in baseball. We exchanged numbers and email and yes I already had a new email address [email protected] that I shared with her and you. I hope to hear from you if you enjoy my story.

I finished watering the flowers and Jenny accompanied me in taking April back to the stables. Then Jenny helped me to pack my stuff. She was amused by all the girl stuff I had. She grabbed two outfits as we were close enough to wear the same clothes. She grabbed my hand and pulled me to the showers.

I felt more honored than afraid as the girls’ shower was one of the holy of holies that I did not intrude upon. We had separate shower stalls and I had a plastic cap to protect my hair. I was out drying off when Jenny snuck in and began to dry my back. I turned around wondering what I should do, but could only work up an indignant frown until it gave way to a smile and hug.

After dinner, I went to rest before the dance as I hoped to see Peter and Sam. I quickly fell into a deep sleep and was still sleeping when the dance started. Susan came to get me and had trouble waking me up. She shook me and finally woke me up. She didn’t mind if I went back to sleep by choice but did not want to hear me complain in the morning.

I had a great time at the dance but was sleepy enough that it went fast and I remembered little.

Mom woke me saying, “You need to get up, packed and say your tearful good-byes because we need to get to NYC and Dr. Christy so you can enjoy our vacation at the beach looking like a girl.” Even with the hurrying and much of my packing done, it was after 11 a.m. before we got going.

Being Patti made good-byes a lot longer than it would have been for Willy. There were hugs, words and tears as well as exchanging information and short notes. Even Susan was finished saying good-byes before me. I started to say, “Why does Susan need to…" and I stopped and changed, “Thanks Susan, it’s going to be important having you as my sister, especially today...”

To be continued at least one more chapter…

Dr. Christy was not your average doctor and what happened might be considered a healing or a miracle more than surgery…

“Don’t confuse religion and faith and presume you understand or think you’re a ‘saint’ assuming tends to be wrong, grace is more likely appropriate than judgment…

“Just be Patti and enjoy being a young woman…”

To be continued...

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My appreciation for those who help to proof read or edit my writing; all mistakes that remain are those of the writer.