"Hello Doctor."

"Hello Bill, I hope you've had a good week."

"Well, I met Dr. Wong for the first time on Wednesday, and they were able to squeeze me for a CAT scan yesterday, so I guess things are moving along."

"Dr. Wong would be the memory specialist Flo found for you?"

"That's right. We didn't do anything but chat and stuff this week. Did you know she’s Irish-German and adopted, and she got into studying memories because she lost some when her parents were killed?"

“Really, that’s interesting. Where did you get that information?”

“Dr. Wong told me while I was filling out my forms. I guess she was just filling time or something.”

“Well, it is a bit unusual for someone to tell you their life story at least on that side of the relationship.” I looked up at that, and saw a crease in her brow.

“Is there a problem Susan?”

“Probably not, but as I said it’s not a normal approach to tell clients our life stories. These sessions are supposed to be about you, not me or any other counselor. Lets go on. What did you think about Dr. Wong otherwise?”

“She seemed very nice, and she said she’d be trying several approaches, including hypnotism and NLP. I'm a little concerned with those, ‘cause from what I've been able to find online, it's possible and not uncommon for some practitioners to actually use those tools to cause the mind to make up memories they're asking for rather than dig out existing ones."

"That's true; they can be abused that way, or even accidentally used that way. There are several protocols that most use to avoid that as much as possible. If you're still concerned when you talk to her next, you should get her to explain how that will be avoided with you. You might also want to ask her about why she told you her life story. I’m sure she had a reason for it, but it is unusual, so finding out wouldn’t hurt. As the possibility of memory implantation is a genuine issue you need to be satisfied that you can trust her. I have to believe Flo she’s a professional with a good reputation otherwise Flo wouldn’t have referred you to her. We can try keeping an eye on things. If you can't be satisfied with her approach and trust her, you are better with a different practitioner."

"That makes sense. Oh, and I made that list you asked for, and I added a second part while waiting for my CAT scan yesterday. Its things I've heard my family talking about that happened to me, that I don't have any memory of, but I'd think I would." I said, as I handed her the list.

"Thanks Bill." she said as she took the list. "That's probably a good thing to look at as well." She looked down, and appeared to be skimming my list. I'm glad I retyped it. My handwriting can be tough or some folks to read and some of the things I put down yesterday were hard for even me to read, and I wrote it! "Well, Bill, this is an interesting list. Do you want to talk about any of these right now? Perhaps we should just hit them in the order you wrote them down."

"Okay. I guess you want to hear about that dress." I said smiling. There's not much to tell there. It's mostly a flash of memory, and a few impressions."

"Really, what did the gown look like?"

"It had a bright pink around the torso, sorta like you might see on a Disney princess, but with a more open collar. Then, it had these light bubble like sleeves that puffed out but only covered a bit of the shoulder and the arm down to here. I'm guessing they were just decorative or something. In any event, the rest of the dress, from the waist down, was two layers a solid layer and a transparent one. Both were the same light pink as the sleeves. The inner layer was kinda tight, but the outer one flowed around."

"That's quite a lot of details for something you said was a flash." I laughed at this. "Do you recall who was wearing the dress?"

"That's one of the impressions. It's sorta a feeling, and some deductive reasoning. As strange as it sounds, my first impression each time I think of this is that it's me wearing it, and I've worn it before. But, I figure it's probably someone I'm related to. See, if you look at the other list, the last item says I had a sister, and I don't remember having one. So, I kinda think this must have been little memory of that sister."

"Deductions are nice, but we need to keep straight what you remember and what you deduce. Also, while first impressions are usually accurate, they are certainly not always. Even if it was you, you would be far from the first boy to have been dressed once or twice in a dress or girls clothing."

"Really?" I sound a bit bemused at that. "Well, that's about it, except I get the impression that the dress was at my grandmother's house in one of the spare bedrooms. I know they had that kind of dresses there, because my mom has a picture of three of my much younger cousins dressed in similar dresses standing by the stair rail."

"That's interesting, why don’t we go on and talk about the camping experience? How much do you remember there?"

"Well, there's a brief flash as if I'm on a river in a canoe and something about Horses. But most of what I recall is a scary story that someone told at the campfire one night. Or I think that's when it was told. I remember bits of the story I think or maybe it's just I remember bits from Nightmares I had off and on for the next half dozen years or so. In any event the gist of the story is that there's a murderous recluse that lives in the woods across the farm from the camp. And, that he would occasionally visit the camp and steal one of the campers and do horrible things to him. I'd dream about being caught by Rudy, which was the guy's name, chasing me, and would wake up with him catching me. This happened at least once a month for years I think."

"Your note says this one is confirmed. How is that?"

"Well, my folks said I did go to a camp one summer about then, and the entrance is the way I described. Oh, I forgot to mention that to you. The entrance had a split rail fence with a wooden arch with the camp's name above it. Then there was a dirt road going in lined with these trees, sorta like you see in movies, the tops were roundish. In any event, my mom said the camp had canoeing on the river as well as horseback riding and archery and a bunch of the normal summer camp activities which I don't recall."

"That's interesting, and quite a vivid memory! I see from your list, this occurred a few years before you think you lost your memories."

"Yes, and based on what I've been able to find out, it occurred the same summer as the next one."

She looked down, "Oh, you mean the sliding down the hill. What can you tell me about that?"

"Well, apparently my uncle Bill had a stone quarry with a camp, and we spent a week out there the same summer. Oh, and well he was my great uncle actually and yes we were both called Bill, there are a lot of them in my family. Though none of us are Williams. It's funny really, but back to the thing. All I remember is me, my younger brother and a girl all wearing white under shorts climbing up and sliding down steep piles of sand over and over."

"Was this the same girl that you saw in the gown?"

"I don't think so, Becky, my wife, asked the same question. She also asked if I thought she was my missing sister."

"That was going to be my next question. Have you thought about who she was?"

"I don't know for sure. I get the impression she was my cousin, but I don't know for sure. I can never seem to see her face in my memory."

"Okay, going onto the next two. They are more recent and appear related. Do you think they happened?"

"Maybe, my mom said I got to do a drama class, and got to study extra stuff in 4th grade because I was tested during 3rd grade for being a dunce. Mom said I was flunking my classes so the school councilor got my folks to agree to have me tested to see if I belonged in Special Education. I guess I flunked that test too" I said chuckling "because mom said they found out I was smart and needed enrichment classes instead. I really think that's funny."

"You have memories of doing two plays. You mention a title for the first one. Do you recall anything else?"

"Oh yes." I said smiling. "This story was about an inventor that created a super computer that would match people with the best possible match. And to prove it out, he used it to match characters from various stories and movies. I played Peter Pan, and I was matched with Mary Popins! I guess the computer was supposed to figure that the boy that wouldn’t grow up belonged with the ultimate Nanny. But that's all I remember about the play. That and Mary Popins dragging me across the stage while holding one of my ears!"

"Did you ever try to find that story, and see if your memory was accurate?"

"I actually have two or three times, and I've never been able to find such a play."

"Interesting, how about the other play? You don't list a title, why is that?"

"That's because I don't remember it. I just recall that I was a ship's captain at home with a wife and daughter. I picture a scene in what might have been a parlor, but that's it."

"That's not much to go on to find the play. Am I correct in assuming you've not had success there either?"

"That's for sure Susan."

"How about the chocolate chips and studying Japan?"

"All I recall is this great big textbook with a picture of the islands on the top. And then I remember us all being given chopsticks and four or five chocolate chips. As long as the flat side wasn't down, I was able to manage picking them up. But that's it. I don't recall what I did with the ones that had flat side down."

She looked at my list again. "Hmmm, your story about Little League Baseball almost sounds like it belongs in the second list. Why did you include it here?"

"I put this one down; because it overlaps where I think my memory loss happened! I don't recall any baseball as a 3rd or 4th grader, despite my mom having a bunch of pictures of me playing both years! Apparently I played right field both years, you know where they put the guys that can’t really play but are on the team. And, ‘cause of league rules apparently I had to bat at least once in every game. Apparently, over the two years, my bat touched the ball a whole 3 times! I was apparently not much of a ball player. The strange thing is that the next year, when I was in 5th grade I was suddenly a good player. I was catcher for my team, playing the entire game, and hitting the ball safely at least once in every game! It's like there were two different boys playing!"

"It does sound a bit that way, but it's not unusual for boys to grow a bit between 4th and 5th grades, though I suspect it’s not usually quite that dramatic. I think that does belong in the interesting catalogue though." I laughed at that.

"And you have the memory loss story you explained to me last week You say that apparently didn’t happen. I just wanted to point out that there are times where when things happen to us that we don’t understand our subconscious manufactures an explanation that seems reasonable. It can be made up of real events, pieces of events, combinations of events, things we’ve seen or even out of nothing it seems. Unless you have more details you want to share, we can probably go on to the next list.”

“I don't think so.

"Okay then. Going on to your list of things that apparently happened to you, but you don't remember them. You mentioned the intelligence testing earlier. Not remembering testing is not all that unusual. But for most it's just temporary and only applies to that test. I do see why you added it though."

"What can you tell me about this fall in number 3?"

"Well, apparently I was chasing and being chased by my younger brother and stumbled and whacked my forehead against the patio in our back yard. My mom said she took me to some care center for some stitches. Then, on the way home, mom had to slam on the breaks to not get into an accident. Well cars back then didn't have seat belts or we didn't wear them anyway. Mom said I slammed forward and ripped open my stitches on the front seat. And, since the center was closed by then, we had to go to the ER for me to get my stitches put back. See, I still have the scar." I said as I lifted my bangs.

"That does sound like it would be an event most would recall something from. I see why you listed it. The next three are similar. I take it there are a lot of pictures or stories about you being with your grandfather?"

"Oh yes. Until dad got posted overseas, apparently we saw him and grandmother every year at least once. Us going there, or them visiting us. Mom's scrap books are loaded with pictures of him, and him with me and my younger brother. By the way, my brother has a bunch of memories of grandpa that aren’t in mom's pictures."

"I see, and as I said, the next two are similar, no memories of the houses you had on various posts and no memories of friends."

"What can you tell me about the last item? You referenced this item earlier as well."

"Yes I did. In any event, most times my wife and I visited Aunt Rachel, I guess technically she's my grade aunt, but we always just called her aunt. But when we'd visit, we could get her talking about when I was a kid. And most of the time when she was reminiscing, she'd tell tales of my mom and dad, and their daughter." From that, Becky and I figured she was talking about either a twin sister or older sister that died somehow. Aunt Rachel would always quit her stories mid way too. This was kinda strange; it was almost as if she wasn't supposed to talk about it."

"So she never would tell you more that the beginning of stories. I see why you might link this girl to the one in the gown. But don't put too much into that link. Has anyone else in the family talked about a sister?"

"No, nobody. And I don't know whether or not she really remembered, or was remembering someone else's kids."

"Well, you might be able to find out who or even whether there was another person."

"How would I do that?"

"In most places, birth records are public, and should be searchable. They allow this for genealogists. You could search out where you lived, and look for your own, and your sibling’s birth records."

"Wow, I never thought of that! I know where I was supposed to be born! It's on my birth certificate. Well a copy of it anyway"

"Ahh Bill, I hate to stop right now, but, we're getting ready to run over and the slave drivers out on the reception desk will probably be in here soon to rescue you if I don't take you back out."

I laughed a bit. "I'll see if I can track down some birth records. Maybe that will allow me to confirm one of my memories!"

"Okay Bill, how about you keep a dream journal. In this you should write down any dreams you get. The first few days, will be un-influenced by your other counseling sessions."

"Wow, she said to do that as well."

"Well, it's a common tool for work in this field. Don't forget in your thinking, to make an appointment for yourself for next week."

"Thanks doc. Just talking about them makes me feel better. See you next week." I said as I walked out, made my reservations, and hit the road in less than 10 minutes!