Well, I talk to Flo all the time, and the other day wasn't too bad. I hope this works out! I wonder how a shrink's really going to help. Why did I agree to this? Well, best go in.

"Hello, I have an appointment with Dr. Flynn."

"Yes Mr. Wyman. Do you have a fowl bag for her too?"

I sighed. "No. I'm just here for my appointment."

"Sorry sir. But you and Flo went on so the other day, I couldn't resist. It was unprofessional of me."

"Oh, it's Okay. I assume you need me to fill out a hundred pages of information."

"No sir, just these 5. Let me guess, you've recently been through this somewhere else?"

I chuckled. "Yea. It gets old fast. It's too bad you don't all use the same form. Then I could just make a copy for you."

"I've thought the same thing, and they've talked about a standard form for the medical history and insurance part. But for now, you get to get a hand cramp. Sorry."

"I'll get it done and back in a bit."

Hmm. Yep. Usual stuff. I really wish I'd remember to put all this stuff onto a piece of paper so I don't have to keep fishing things out of my wallet. Ahh. I bet these are the shrink questions. Reason for Visit "Flo said it was a good idea. Yep. That'll do for now."

"Here's my life story."

She gave a little laugh "Okay, have a seat back down. The doctor will be with you shortly."

"Mr. Wyman?" I looked up from my magazine.

"Yes?"

"Hello I'm Susan Flynn. Shall we go into my office?" She led me back through a door, and indicated a small sofa - I guess they're called love seats or something. She sat in a captain's chair facing the sofa at an angle. "Were you looking for the bed or something?"

"Uhh, I guess so."

"Mr. Wyman, that's only in the cartoons or movies. And before you ask. No, this isn't my office either. We use rooms like this when meeting clients most of the time. It's intended to be peaceful and not induce stress."

"Stress, ummm. yea, I guess I can see how others would be stressed coming into an office to see a sh." I stopped.

"Go ahead and say it 'shrink'. I'm sure you've called Flo that and worse from the little she's said. And, I want you to know, she hasn't said much except that you're friends from way back and are possibly facing something that could get stressful. I also want you to be aware, I won't be talking to her, or anyone else about what we talk about without your explicit approval."

"Okay. I doubt that's necessary, but I guess it'll be helpful if something embarrassing comes up."

"Why don’t we start with you giving me some background? And, if you have some issue you want to talk about as well."

"Well" Sheesh. I can't believe how many times I've told the story in the past week, but here goes. "I appear to not have any memory prior to being about 10 years of age, and not many then. (Actually 4th grade to be specific). There are a couple of ghosts of things that might be memories in the time before then. Starting when I'm in 5th grade things are completely different. It's like someone flipped a switch. I can describe our house and even floor plan. I can describe my school - how to get from one to the other. What I played. What I did. It's like I’m two different people.

I used to joke that the reason I couldn't remember was because I was a changeling and of course I couldn't remember stuff from before I was swapped, since I wasn't around for it. But, nobody wanted to believe that. I guess it does sound a bit farfetched.

Up until last Christmas, I said I'd hurt my neck walking to school one day, and they gave me codeine several times a day for a week and that erased my memories."

"Interesting. Why did you say up until last Christmas?"

"I don't recall how it came up in discussions, but I trotted out my story about how I'd lost my memory, and my folks said nope, didn't happen... In fact, nothing close to it. No injury worse than a skinned knee. I was a bit dumbfounded let me tell you. I've no idea where that story came from now either."

"Sounds like an interesting problem. Mr. Wyman."

"Please call be Bill, half the time when I hear Mr. Wyman even now I look around for my dad."

"Of course Bill and you can call me Susan. Now, let me guess, you've decided to try to figure out what actually happened, if anything and why your memories are gone. Right?"

"If it wasn't so obvious, I'd think you were a mind reader Dr oops Susan."

She laughed a little at my slip. "Not to worry. So, do you have a plan? Knowing Flo, she's foisted something off on you that probably makes sense."

"Actually yes, and it is Flo's plan. I've already started seeing a Neurologist, to eliminate some physical cause of things. She's looking for a specialist in recovering lost memories, and she asked me to talk to you, since if anything comes up, it could be disturbing and it'd be better if I were talking to someone already."

"That sounds like the start of a good plan. There are some things we can do that might help you prepare."

"Oh?"

"Yes. Do you keep a diary by any chance?"

"No I tried once or twice when I was a teen, but it never took."

"Okay, well, I'd like to suggest you take some time over the next week, and jot down a list of the things you either remember, or think you remember around the time you think you lost your memory, and any time before that. I'd like to discuss them, and see what there is to see."

"How will that help?"

"It gives us a baseline of things you remember, and then, if anything comes up that is new, you know it's new."

"Oh, that makes sense. I guess we should talk about them too."

"We don't have to, but it might help me to know where you've been and perhaps be better equipped to help you if something does come up that's disturbing."

"Ahh, Okay. I can do that."

"We can discuss what you do remember and anything else you think of over our next few sessions. This also helps us have something to talk about which should help you be comfortable talking with me."

"Sounds like you're saying we should get together weekly? Is that it?"

"Yes Bill, I think we'll cover more ground that way, and I think you'll probably be getting some results at least from the Neurologist in a few weeks and we want to be ready to deal with any surprises."

"Okay, I'll see you next week Susan."

As I was making my appointment for the following week, Flo came out. "Hi Bill, you got a minute?"

"Sure Flo, let me set up next week's appointment first, and I'm all yours." I glanced down at my watch. "Though, I've only got about 15 minutes before I have to take off to be home for Genny."

"That'll do Bill. Go ahead and make your appointment. I'll wait."

When I'd finished that, we headed back to Flo's office. "Okay Flo, what's up?"

"I found someone that's had success recovering lost memories, and since she's new to the area, her practice isn't very full yet."

"Well, if she's anywhere near as nice as Dr. Johanson and Dr. Flynn, I'm sure it'll be great! I really liked them both."

"Stephen's a sweetheart. I'm a little surprised he was able to work you in already."

"I saw him yesterday morning before he went to the hospital. I guess he thinks my case might be interesting."

"Well, based on what he thinks is interesting, I hope it's not too interesting. He is the best though! But, back to the new specialist. She's a clinical psychiatrist that has been doing research into the causes of memory loss and recovering of lost memories. I chatted with her briefly, and I think you'll like her. She did indicate that her schedule isn't too full as yet, except for two afternoons a week, when she works at a clinic. So you should be able to get an appointment fairly soon. Like I did with Susan and Stephan, I only gave the barest bones of your background. I think it's best if you share it directly with them."

"Okay, I can do that. I almost wish I'd recorded the story, so I could have just played it back to all of them."

She laughed at this. "I understand that Bill. Well, here's her contact info. Someone should be in her office until 5:00 this evening." She must have seen my concern because she continued. "I'm not trying to push you Bill, well maybe a little, but finding her this soon, with these qualifications makes me feel like maybe you should push forward. You know me and playing hunches!"

"Okay Flo, I'll give her a call after I make sure Ginny gets started on her homework! Speaking of which, I'd best be heading home now."

"That's right. Now, don't forget to keep Becky up to speed with things. Sounds like things are moving a bit fast."

I flushed a bit. "Good point, I'd best talk with her some more tonight. See you later."

Later that evening, after the kids have gone to bed.

"Hey Beck, you got busy?"

She walks in to the room. "Not really, what's up Bill?"

"I just wanted to let you know how my memory search was going, or not going so far."

"Oh? You've done something already? You and Flo are actually moving on this?"

"Yea, I saw the neurologist yesterday morning, and will get a CAT scan to rule out any physical cause to my memory loss. I met the shrink in her office today, and she seems as nice as Flo."

"Oh, that's good. So, what else. From your eye, there must be more."

"Yes, Dr. Flynn asked me to make a log of all the things I either actually remember or think I remember from time I think I lost my memory and before. She said it doesn't matter if it actually happened or not, if you can believe that. The goal was to get a baseline of what I remember so that if some new memories are "shaken" loose, we have something to compare them with."

"That makes a lot of sense Bill. Sounds like she's pretty smart!" I laughed at that.

"I was going to let you see it too Becky - to see if you remembered anything I might have mentioned over the years, that I should add."

"Sure honey. I'd be glad to!"

"Oh, and Flo found a doc that actually specializes in the causes of memory loss, and in recovering memory! I didn't even realize there were really such people!"

"That's good news Bill. One question, with seeing all of these docs, when will you have time to get your work done?"

"I finish my current project next week, and it looks like I'll be on the bench a week or two after that. George said they were holding me for a big project here in town that was close to signing."

"Wow Bill, it's almost like someone was out there greasing the skids as it were. I'll be glad if that local project actually happens! It's so much easier with you in town. Ruth's pretty good helping with Ginny, but Craig can be a pain. I guess that goes with the territory." She paused then, and gave me a look, and I realize she's seen through me again. "Okay Bill, out with it. What else are you worried about?"

"I dunno Becky; I've gone over 30 years without those memories. While I'd love to be able to remember my grandpa & Grandma, I'm afraid that there was something bad that I didn't want to remember! I dunno. I guess I'm just nervous about the change and all."

Becky reached out, and gave me a hug saying. "Bill, don't worry, we'll work through anything that comes up. I'm here if you need me for anything you know!"

"Thanks Beck."