My mom had rented a small cabin at the camp during her visit and told me to come to get her when swimming began later that morning. My first activity was a Life Lesson Session with Nurse Jane and today we were learning to do self breast exams. She had us unsnap our bras and then place our hands inside under our bras and gently use two fingers.

She had demonstration models presumably with cancer in each. I was one of a few to correctly identify where the supposed cancers were. One was an abnormality caused by extra tissue on a nipple but it was not cancerous. I was again chosen to model the exam and asked to bear my top.

She had nicely asked and I agreed, though I think she was expecting I was wearing the breast forms. It was funny as she started to examine me that my nipples enlarged and hardened. She quickly said, “Oops, I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

“I saw it coming and it's okay, you have a nice soft touch,” Jane was the one turning red. The other girls murmured, then the news spread that I was developing real breasts. It was embarrassing as well as funny. Other campers now wanted to touch my breasts thinking they might feel different on a boy, or to make sure they were real.

I was walking out of the room, when my Mom came up and gave me a hug, saying “I am really proud of you son and if you don’t mind my saying you make a pretty woman and daughter. I know that sounds like a contradiction being proud of my son being a pretty girl.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“How about you get ready for swimming and meet me at cabin #3 after you have your swimsuit on?” We hug and we each go to get ready. I had already laid out my two-piece suit so I quickly go and get changed.

Staci and Tonya giggle as I accidentally change in front of them. I didn't take the time to notice them changing as I changed.

Staci spoke up, “You are putting several girls in an awkward position in revealing you’re changing?” I looked up guessing I'm naive that somehow I was really changing. I ask what she meant.

“It was a pretty big step for most of us to have a boy Rainbow Camper, but it became a growing experience. You were like a living Ken doll we made up in Barbie’s clothes. We didn’t expect you to become a real Barbie with real parts.”

“Staci you know I didn’t plan it; it’s just happening. If someone thinks it’s weird, they should experience it as me.”

I'm in my swimsuit, check myself, and quickly off to see my mom. Unfortunately, as I arrive at her cabin; I knock and hurry in to hug my Mom. I was already telling her about what Staci said. Realizing I had caught her in the midst of putting on her swimsuit. I was there hugging her with her bare breasts. I quickly apologize and sit down fully embarrassed. But I'm also proud that my Mom looks so beautiful.

A few seconds later her suit in place and she's brushing out her hair. She had a blanket as well as her towel. She knew I was embarrassed; she only mentioned how nice I look in my swimsuit.

Mom enjoys putting a bit of lotion on me. I had thought I was too big for that.

Mom was 19 and in college when she first knew my dad and became pregnant with Susan and now seventeen years later she's a vivacious looking woman of 36. Now as her second daughter I'm seeing her in a new light. She grabs my hand and we ran into the water, dove in and swam out just beyond the platform.

Much of the time we're just treading water and talking. She is smiling, I am too that we're mother and daughter. She says, “In time, we'll need to talk about what it means to be a girl, but for a little bit I just want to enjoy my time with you.”

Enthusiastically I ask, “So you think Patti is real?”

Mom stares and gives me a look saying, “Patti, it is not a simple ‘yes/no’. And I actually see even more of your father in you as a girl.” I swim to her and hug her. I could tell she wondered if she said the right thing.

With the remaining time, we go on the platform rest, tan, and do some girl talk with others. The others agree that I have a cool mom.

Mom agreed with Dir. Laura that she would help the Rainbow Campers to put in a butterfly-hummingbird garden. Mom would also have life lessons during the week to go along with the project.

We are back and change in time for lunch. Mom asks how I managed to do it so fast. “You can use my shower when it’s helpful, but make sure you don’t barge in unannounced. And please make sure you are decent when you come back out.”

Lunch is simply making your own salad and sandwiches. My Mom finds it cute, how my eating habits are changing. I make a salad with a variety of spinach, seeds, fruits, and different vegetables, and a reasonable portion of a lite dressing. I used a large piece of wheat bread to make half a sandwich with chicken, tofu, and greens. Previously I demanded 2% milk, but I'm now using skim milk.

The campers around our table enjoy informing my Mom of the changes and activities I have been through. Mom is surprised that I have not overstepped boundaries or sought to inappropriately sneak and get cheap peaks as a boy might do.

“No, but we got to see him try-on and purchase her first bra. We have gotten several looks as she has been changing and we make her wait to get into the shower. Patti was with the high school campers and helped to save Julie from the bad people. She also helped us with a prank on Camp ArrowHead after they tried to hurt a girl. She’s still tough but she isn’t mean or nasty.

Mom asks, “Do you think she deserved to be punished like she was for the prank Willy helped with?”

Cami strongly spoke out, “Yes, she deserved to be punished; and the punishment fitted what he did! But I didn’t think he would stay with it. Part of me was angry when he first started to adjust. Many of us wanted him humiliated and hurt. We were sure the Patti image was a put on. I don’t think Cafferty or any of the other boys would have done it. I know I wouldn’t have accepted them as a friend as I had with Patti.”

“But Patti is a boy pretending to be a girl and in two weeks he can go back to being himself,” Mom says. “What if he goes back to being his old self or misuses what Patti has earned here?”

Sharon is been one of many now around our table, “Do you really think that is likely? He would have to be a real low life to misuse what has been shared here.” Sharon went and hugged Patti from behind, “Patti, I would be very surprised and hurt if you haven’t changed.”

Cami spoke again, “If Patti has made an imprint on my life as she has, I would be surprised if the change weren't real. You may want and get your boy back, but I hope Patti will forever be inside him. My real hope is that Willy will forever now just be a part of Patti.”

Mom squeezed my hand and then put an arm around me; all the others seemed to be staring at us. “No, I don’t think Patti’s just pretending. I really don’t know the future. I do want to thank you all for helping Willy/Patti to adjust and make something good come from this discipline. It probably wouldn’t have worked any other place for us without your help.”

“I would like to change the subject and ask your help on a project,” Karen asked? “How many of you have seen a butterfly and hummingbird garden?” About 25% of the campers and most of the staff nearby had. In some ways, it is a project we are doing for other girls and women. That is unless you come back to Camp next year or the future. “

“Lisa, Stephanie, and Maxine on Maintenance are going to work with some getting soil spread out and the ground prepared, six camper-girls will be dropped off at the lumberyard with Sharon to be the models for six, nine-foot emersion benches. Others of us will go to the Claremont Greenhouse and Nursery to pick and purchase the proper perennials. Then as the week goes on a smaller part of each day will be used to finish the project a 60’x40’ Rainbow Butterfly Garden.”

One girl asked, “What are emersion benches, and why different campers as models?” Sharon and mom both agreed they were great questions.

Sharon responded, “Those who have slept outside at our hilltop site or Rock Mount have had the experience of being engulfed in the stars on a dark clear night. The benches are being designed for campers of different sizes to lay down on the bench about 8” inches off the ground so you will be down among the flowers as butterflies and hummingbirds may come to the flowers and fly about.”

“Women/girls have a keen appreciation of color, fragrances, and the delicate sides of life,” said my Mom. “But we are pressured more and more to be like boys and guys. Consider lying back and watching clouds float by or someone is reading a poem or playing music while you have flowers and butterflies moving about you.”

“It’s kind of a female heaven with no boys around to ruin the mood.” I don’t know who said it, but most got the picture. Another girl spoke up and said, “But I have a Dad who is pretty neat, I think he should be able to enjoy something like that too!”

Mom said, “I agree and I think it would be neat for you to enjoy it together, with him lying back on a bench the right size for him and you on a bench nearby for you. It is neat when a male can learn from a female world.”

“I have a brother who likes girl playing, but I don’t think he would be comfortable doing it here. He hasn’t even been able to share it with mom and dad, though mom knows,” said another girl.

Cami suggested, “You should let them enjoy it at whatever point they are comfortable with. I know we can’t force more guys to have a Willy moment, but I wouldn’t mind finding myself with a date at such a garden. If he couldn’t enjoy it might help me know him better. Kind of whether I might like to be with him or not.”

Carol another staff member interrupted and said, “You better get going or it’s never going to get past the dream stage.”

I got to go with the group to the Claremont nursery where there was a big selection of flowering plants but Mom had us focus only on the perennials. Jessie and Faith two workers at the nursery gave us a quick lesson and showed us charts of the different plants and the various times from spring to fall that they flowered. Some could be planted unusually close as some bloom in spring and the other at the end of summer or fall. Most that we choose should blossom during the summer when most campers are here.

We would be selecting well over 200 plants. We helped make the selections and Faith told us that we did a great job. We helped to load them in a straight flatbed truck and would help to unload them at camp. Jessie said, “I will try to have a computer drawing tomorrow morning on where to plant the various plants and how many. It should provide a nice variety and balance, while the garden will have over 60 different flowering plants. Some types will need more of their kind than you selected for a good showing and flower production. So I expect we will be bringing more out in the morning to accomplish that purpose.

When we arrived back at camp we were taken to where they prepared to make the garden. Some 15 high school age campers had moved three power poles to make three sections 40 ft. wide to make the slope of the hillside less pronounced. Topsoil and peat moss were spread and mixed to make a rich flower bed.

Those from the three groups wanted, stayed, and shared their experiences from their part of the project. Out of 45 campers, just over 30 stayed and participated in the general discussion, then there were smaller groups that broke off. I was proud of my Mom and felt how tired she must have been for all she put into the day. The groups disbursed as we got closer to 6:00 p.m.

I sat down cuddled with Mom, Susan was also with us. Somewhere in the discussion and cuddling up to Mom I had fallen asleep on her lap. The two of them helped me to Mom’s cabin, changed me into a nightgown, and placed me in bed to sleep. They went to the dining hall to eat. It was 8 o’clock before Mom returned and woke me up.

She had been to my tent to collect my sleeping bag, pillow, a change of clothes for tomorrow, and the essentials a girl needed. Mom made a light snack to hold me over to breakfast. We stayed up a good while visiting as well as getting ready for bed. Mom basically talked to me as Patti and I responded the same. It reminded me of a night long ago when Susan got to sleep in Mom and Dad’s room nestled in on the floor near mom’s side of the bed.

When they woke the next morning I was lying next to my sister having carried a pillow and a teddy bear with me. Tonight I got to be there all alone with my mom as her little girl. When I woke I had a large towel rolled up and hugged in my arms. Mom said I was restless until I got my dolly.

I told her it was my teddy, and she told me she tried to give me my teddy, but I told her no three times that I wanted to hold a dolly. When she agreed it was a dolly, I snuggled it and then went to sleep. She told me it was a great night and she would treasure it, but she wanted me back into camp mode.

Staci went with me after breakfast to the Camp Store and helped me to look for something to snuggle. Staci looked into the sale area and found a unique colt lying down with its black and white face raised. She knew with my love of April, and that I would love it and I did.

I bought it and pulling Staci behind me we ran to the stable to show April. April was happy to see me but wasn’t sure what to make of Little April. We would be back to ride after our Life Lesson.

Today’s life lesson was to be “trust walks” and Nurse Jane partnered me with Brandy. Trusting her would not come easy and I was surprised that Jane didn’t know. Luckily I was to take Brandy first. I asked, "Brandy pretend with me that you had gotten hurt and had been blind for three weeks. You came to Camp Rainbow so your friend Claire could help you relive the camp experience."

We talked about the so, so breakfast and she told me, "You don't know how humbling it is to eat here. I am proud that I'm a very pretty girl and takes a lot of pride away from me." I heard her hurt as she was embarrassed as she ate, touching some food with her hands, dropping food from her fork onto her clothes or the table. We walk out to the dock as I looked for the best canoe.

“You stopped me right at the edge didn’t you,” she said. I wasn’t sure if it was a question or accusation, but I knew she had the right to be afraid.

“No, I am pretending to be Claire hoping you would trust me as though you were with a friend,” I said. “I am not sure why we don’t get along, but I know you have the right in not trusting me. You are a pretty and smart girl, even if you were blind I think you would be special enough to be a doer.”

I handed her a life jacket and helped her to get into the canoe. I had her sit in the back as it held more responsibility in directing the canoe. We were soon out to the lake and I asked her to turn into the sun. She did a beautiful job. “Imagine it is sunrise and you are directly facing the totem pole on the beach; tell me where the sun rose this morning?”

“It would be coming up over our campsite on top of the hill, and I can imagine the silhouette of three horses with riders starting down the trail. Ducks are swimming to our left but I am not sure how far away they are. I just heard a fish jump on the other side of the canoe.”

I shared, "It is four ducks a mom and three not so small babies; They are probably 100 ft. away, angling to go ahead of us.” I asked her to paddle backward and turn us around going away from the ducks. We now had a clear lake in front of us and we started to race our canoe against one from Camp ArrowHead.

They had given us a five-second lead, saying they felt sorry for Brandy. I knew Brandy was a very good canoer and I did my best to help row fast. We were coming up to the marker that we had to turn around. It was a real marker and I gave Brandy an approximate idea to paddle to the left and a hundred feet and we counted down and adjusted to stay on the left side of the marker as we turned.

“Where are the ducks,” she asked? They were still a distance away, but Brandy wanted to know their position and the direction they were swimming. She guided our canoe to move away from them as we passed far to their right. Brandy was now ordering me to keep the speed and to go directly to the shore but not in the swimming area.

It was a long sprint and very taxing but as we rode up on the beach Brandy raised her paddle and yelled for our victory. Others came to find out what the commotion was about and Brandy shared “We had beaten the boys in a canoe race, and I was blind the whole time.”

“If you beat them in the race what did you win,” Jane asked? And without any hesitation, Brandy said, “I won a lost friend.” I was already out of the boat and I guided Brandy as she walked to the front and out on the dry sand.

Brandy took off her blindfold and gave me a big hug. As the hug relaxed, I started to pull away but Brandy pulled me to her and gave me a big kiss on the mouth. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the kiss despite the catcalls and whistles of the other campers. Brandy and I would remain friends and be pen pals when apart.

Cami walked with me to lunch, “Patti how did you make friends with Brandy?”

“It was funny, we just imagined she was blind during our trust walk that I was her friend Claire. And as we got caught up in the fantasy we cared about each other. I do things as Patti that I didn’t as Willy. …A strange thing though ‘Willy had a neat imagination long ago when he enjoyed more things.’ I think young Willy and I had more in common.”

Cami giggled “You referred to Willy as someone else. I know you are the same but Patti is now very different from Willy. It is like you are another person but we share things in common.”

“Cami, can I share something with you, and please don’t think I am weird?” Patti dared to ask? Cami nodded and stopped. “I remember as a little boy being in my sister’s room as my Mommy read a story. Susan was to lay back and imagine as my Mom read the story. It was a story of a girl traveling along the prairie and her mom had her lay down in a field of wildflowers and butterflies. Then all kinds came flying around her from one flower to another, some even landed on her nose or face. I felt the butterfly kisses on my cheeks. There was one glowing a light blue, but it was …”

Cami smiled, “You imagined yourself as that girl so strongly that you felt what she felt? So are you afraid that you are like that little girl?”

“Kind of, I am afraid of being a girl, and worse because I like it. I know it’s silly but there was this blue butterfly." I say, "It was like a light blue light and for a moment it looked like a fairy and she said something to me, but I can’t remember what.”

“Have you seen the blue fairy since,” Cami giggled?

“That’s the strange thing I did; she often came when I had trouble sleeping and the next thing, I was asleep. I hadn’t seen her in years.”

Cami, “Hadn’t, are you telling me you are seeing her again?”

“It’s like I see her but I don’t for sure. I think she’s been there when I ride April. When I first saw Polly, I was so afraid I was going to turn and run but a light blue glow was there for a moment on Polly’s shoulder. Then I saw the glow and felt her warm presence on my shoulder as I helped Polly. There were other times… but I know it’s crazy.”

“I don’t know what it means, Patti, other than it’s important to you. I like that you shared it with me.” Cami paused to give me a hug, “Inspiration or whatever you’ve done some amazing things. Having your own fairy angel wouldn’t be bad.”

Cami smirked, “I don’t want to break the mood but I hear you bought a miniature April and took it over to her. So don’t you think that is a little too girly of a thing for a fourteen-year-old boy to be doing?”

It dawned on me that I was missing my horseback riding time. I sat down and began to cry. “You came in from the lake late, and you visited with so many. Maybe you can sneak over to the stable during FOB. “

We ate, I excused myself went, and changed into a nice pair of jeans, hoping I could get a ride in. April was in the corral, Chad’s mom said since I was late she wasn’t taken. Chad opened the corral and suggested I take April as she needed the exercise. I wrapped Angel to April's saddle and we rode out and Chad came with us. He suggested we get going in case anyone came to find me not taking my time out.

I noticed as we rode up the trail that Chad had cleaned himself up and had shampooed his hair that morning. So when we got to the lower campsite I got off April and was showing her some attention. When Chad rode up I asked him to bring his brush if he had it.

I asked him to sit down saying it was a good girl day and I proceeded to brush out his hair into a nice ponytail. There was enough in front to have a sweeping bang and a loose curl down both sides. We went riding a little more before heading down to the stable.

He reached for his brush as we got closer to the camp and I asked him to stop, “Do you really want to do that.” He shook his head no, knowing I understood. I knew Susan and Lisa would be in the group coming to ride horses next. I suspected they and the other high school girls would be slow to consider what Chad’s appearance might mean?

I later found out that Susan had offered to get a pair of culottes if he wanted to try wearing them while he rode. Both Chad and his mom turned down the offer with their thanks. At the rest stop several girls got to Chad. They painted his nails and lightly made up his face.

His mother was not amused, but Susan and Lisa stressed that it was not presented to him as an option. Susan knew his Mom did not personally dislike it being done but worried about the reaction of others.

I was the one who should have been worried about others’ reactions to my being gone. Mom wanted to arrange a trip to look for a gown. “I can’t believe you would be spending good money for a gown for me,” I told her. She told me it wasn’t an option but part of my agreement to experience camp as a girl.

Cami and Staci were looking for me along with Julie as Julie had heard that the shovel was found over at Camp ArrowHead. The camp girls had a pow-wow on the side during a shared campfire and program night. It was not on the official program nor were we sharing it with the staff, but we were planning a raid on the guys our style. We decided on a hit-and-run strategy so that the event would end on our turf; where we would have more resources left and waiting, as we anticipated their coming after us.

Thursday night would be the night! Hopefully, the following night at the dance, respect and good feelings would return but hopefully we would be respected as equals.

My Mom rescheduled her Wednesday and mine and we would go shopping for a gown.

My nights were in some ways more restless and in other ways more serene and wonderful as I was often thinking or exploring my growing female identity. Did you know that the nipple and areola got little bumps on them when they were excited? I didn’t expect a young girl my age to find pleasure from what I was experiencing and for sure something I didn’t expect me to be experiencing. As I wasn’t a girl.

I could remember when I saw my time at camp Rainbow only as punishment, having to dress as a girl and be known as a Rainbow camper. Then I started to fight the feelings as my feelings were changing. I was becoming one of them and then when I started to feel like I do now, I felt more like Patti a real girl. Part of me is worried because it takes so much more to be a girl and I feel like I know just the tip of the iceberg. Part of me thinks I am still Willy and feeling guilty that I don't work harder to stay as him. Worst of all that more and more I feel like I am Patti.

The truth is many qualities I like about Willy are easier to live out as Patti than Patti’s identity in Willy. It’s okay for Susan to wear boy clothes, to act tough, and to participate in more things. It isn’t cool for a guy to be one of the girls.

I also thought about how I have treated others. I am usually fair and sociable with most, but I know I have discounted a few friends and not been there for them on account I would like to be liked more by the many, and I had been willing to sacrifice others more than a few times.

At Camp Rainbow, I was impressed by real friends like Staci, Tanya, Cami, and Stephanie. I knew it cost them to be friends at first. In five short weeks, I have been well received by the vast majority, but I know schoolmates who have been harassed for 5 years for one reason or another.

I was up and walking around unable to sleep. Stephanie came out to ask what was up. I told her I wasn’t able to sleep. “Is it a matter of 10-15 minutes or do you need to talk and be up for a while?” I didn’t know about talking, but I knew I was up for a while. There was another campfire area that Steph had us go to and she lit the fire and we just sat around it.

Staci came over about 15 minutes later, “You’ve been thinking about things before your mother came, so what’s up?”

Steph and I had both wished she hadn’t come over but it was what I needed. “You wouldn’t understand you’ve always been a girl.”

“I may not understand, but it’s like you often want to say or ask something and then step back. I’m your friend and I’m a girl and Stephanie’s a camp counselor, so try us.” Staci even brought a bottle of nail polish and first asked for my hands. “Having your nails done is just good girl therapy,” she said.

“You don’t have enough light to do a good job,” I responded.

“I do too and you are just delaying before you start to share. Let me take care of your nails and I will only pause for tears and hugs,” Staci said. I began to open up. We talked about big things and little things. Among other things she wanted to know if I was looking forward more to see Austin or Sam? Steph asked about looking for a formal gown and that was a time I kind of broke.

“Why would a boy be interested in the color or style of a formal gown, but I am,” I wept a little. “Staci it’s not only a question if I go on our vacation as a girl, but what if I consider going to school as a girl?”

“Wow, you are actually thinking like me and others at the camp, who think somehow you have gone from being Willy to becoming a girl,” spoke Stephanie. “That would be a big decision and you should take your time and discuss it with your mother and others.”

I realized that Sharon, two other staff people, and Tanya, as well as Julie and Cami, were now at the campfire sight. Staci had finished my fingernails and toenails and Cami was brushing my hair and putting it into a French braid. Cami whispered, “I think your hair has grown a good inch while you’re at Camp. This is much easier and nicer. I like the natural curl it has and how you have learned to take care of it and your skin. If you ever go back to Willy you will need to stop both, which would save you time, but drive the girly girl crazy.”

It was 3:00 when Sharon brought out the makings for smores and 3:30 when she suggested it was time to get some sleep. It was a good note to end on and though most of us would be waking in 2  ½ - 3 hours it was not hard to get to sleep. Nothing was really settled but having others who cared and knew made my spirit lighter.

Steph woke me at 6 and suggested I use my mom’s cabin or the Nurse’s station to shower and get ready. I showered, and shampooed and conditioned my hair well. I was bright and cheerful, and Mom gave me a big hug seeing I was happier and energetic.

We worked on the Butterfly Garden and it was taking shape. All that was needed was the emersion benches which would arrive this afternoon and the last of them set in place tomorrow morning. Even now butterflies were beginning to find their way, and the Rainbow Campers got to see some fruits from a lot of work.

I used Mom’s camera with a telephoto lens to capture Rosy with a butterfly on her face. None of the benches had been set, but Rose laid down in the garden and it took some ten minutes of being still to be rewarded as she was.

I went back to Mom’s cabin to get ready to go shopping and as I showered again, mom set out a new outfit. The panties and bra were new and a quality that sent shivers up and down my body. I was still walking around and enjoying them as mom was back out and getting dressed. She was not upset as she understood my delight in wearing such finery.

They were both a pale pink that glistened and hugged by the body of thin satin pillows. She had out a very pretty sundress, with pantyhose and nice shoes. She took the time to help me with my make-up and hair. I felt like I could already be going to a special outing, but I had not experienced a big city formal.

Others were coming out of the dining hall as we made our way to the parking lot to go shopping. Both Cami and Brandy had whistled to their delight at the figure I was sporting. Mom hugged me and shared how proud and happy she was for me.

We drove for a half-hour and stopped for lunch. It was a nice family-run restaurant; the food was good and the people treated us well. Mom had shared we were going shopping for a formal gown for me. Our waitress was probably 3-4 years older than me and she asked where we were going to buy a dress and where the social was?

“Lori, do you know of many women's apparel stores that would have formal gowns worthy of an NYC social event?” my Mom asked. Lori called “Mama” who came over and spoke to us and named three stories as well as a Macy’s and an upscale women’s shop at Paramus. We found out from her mother there were three women’s apparel shops over at Paramus close to each other that would be worth our seeing.

Mama refilled my mother’s wine glass and as she did she pour no more than three sips in another glass, “If your mother is willing it is a day to celebrate for a young woman.” I looked up to my mother and she nodded yes. I said “Thanks” and sipped my wine.

I had washed and used the toilet when we came in so I was ready to go when we were done, but Mom said we needed to use the lady’s room again. “Patti, when you go into the dress shops how you present yourself will say a lot about you. Plus Mama has high regard of you as a young lady, I would not want to disappoint her.”

I was surprised having fixed my face how much better I looked and felt as we left. It took us just under an hour to get to Paramus and locate the three women’s stores we were told about.

Mom spoke up, “Now do not get your heart set on a gown at the first shop, even if you try something on and think it is perfect. That would be your father in you speaking.” She was right there were two gowns I would have easily said yes to either one and been done.

It was at Carmen’s the second shop we found a red gown with spaghetti straps and chiffon tooling red and white around the shimmering gown. I loved it, absolutely loved it but the price was $459 already on sale. I snapped, “It’s a beautiful gown but there is nothing that makes it worth that price!”

I quickly realized I was rude and showed my immaturity and began to apologize, “I am sorry, I know I shouldn’t have barked like that…” The saleswoman was offended but recovered nicely; another woman came over and spoke nicely. “If it is just another pretty dress I would agree, except for your temper. If you would come back with me to the changing area and step out of the gown, I would like to show you why it is special.”

Mom and I walked back with her and she walked into the area the seamstress would have a dress modeled and altered. I did not know enough to go to my changing room and step out of the dress there but followed the woman who reached behind me and undid the top hook and starts the zipper. I proceeded to undress hoping she would not recognize me for a boy. The woman and Mom smirked but went along with me.

Mom took one side and the woman helped with the other as I was soon out of the gown. She gave me a dressing robe and had me sit next to her. The red gown and another were hung before us. “Notice the stitching of these two gowns, even the seam of the liner on your dress is a better quality than the main gown of the other one.” She pulled out a ruler and had me count threads for an inch and my gown had over 50% more threads per inch. “Check your chiffon tooling, is it scratching like many?” I had to agree it was not.

“I understand your mother wants you to check the third shop, but if you like this gown as your favorite, I encourage you and your mother to come back here and speak to me. I would not reward your brashness, but your apology and your being willing to sit with me might cause us both to be happy."

I asked for her name; "My name is the same as the shop, but your saleswoman will be the one to get the sale.” I turned red as we left, though there were two gowns I was interested in.

The third shop also had many gowns that I liked and two that really caught my eye and I felt I had to try on. “Mom, I could make a day of trying on these gowns and be satisfied just with the joy of how they feel and look.” But the best of them was not able to sway me from the red gown at Carmen’s.

We were back to Carmen’s and I was pleased that there was no one there expressing an “I told you so” attitude. Carmen had a strapless bra and two pairs of 3” heels for me to try with the gown. I would have given the gown a ten before and now it would be a 12. She asks me to check the hand purses and select one. There is another young teen there; she and I look through the purses. The choice is between two, one a woman would choose and another we thought more typical for a teen. It also went well with the red heels with white accents.

I strolled back loving the ensemble but thinking I was going to be disappointed. Carmen asked my mother what she planned to spend. Mom responded, “$395, Patti would need to pay the remaining amount if she wants it.”

Carmen turned to me, “Well young lady, what if I asked $500 for all of it, plus two pairs of silk stockings, the panties that go with the bra. Taxes and alterations we would split. The gown alone would be at least $1000 in the Big Apple.”

I walked away with my Mom, “Mom you know there is no way I would have done this even yesterday. Willy earned the money, but I would like your permission to buy it.” Mom said, “The cost of the gown and other items she is including would be over $750.00 here.” She gave me a hug and her permission to buy it or not. We walked back and I said “yes.”

Carmen said, as long as it is worth it to you without a fight, the final price is $475 for everything. It took another thirty minutes to pin and mark it for alterations, make a deposit and do the paperwork.

It was 5:30 when we headed back and I asked my mother if we could be back at Camp by 7:30. I shared the girls were going to raid Camp ArrowHead with whip-cream, lipstick, perfume, and water weapons come 8 p.m.

“I am sorry mom, I know we should spend the night celebrating the gown and the beautiful day, but this is even a rarer day for the girls to strike first.” We were back by 7:40 and I quickly changed into my swimsuit and then put on shorts and top. I caught up to them just as Susan picked the lock on a gate to get us in the Camp; we were 75’ into the camp before we started our charge and scream. The boys were good-natured in their attempt to fight back. Only one boy had a stronghold of a girl as we were set for stage 2 of our retreat. Cami quickly got that boy to let go as she depantses him.

The boys took 10 minutes to grab pillows, shave cream, and mud before they launched their attack. We were in a group laughing and carrying on as they charged, but each girl had at least two water balloons as we stood and turned to greet them. We had another 50 pies of whip cream. The boys did get a few good shots in and partially saved face when the special event's lights were turned on.

Director Laura shared she was surprised but not displeased. “Any ArrowHead Camper who is willing can take a swim and with the help of a Rainbow Camper get cleaned up before you head back to your camp is invited to do so.” I found Sam and lead him by the hand to the lake with a bar of soap in the other hand. I took off his shirt and suggested he wash it out that while I cleaned him up.

It was fun as I poured water over his head and broad shoulders, and I was delighted as I made my way down to his waist. But what was I to do with his pants and him inside? I took the bar of soap and soaped him down, realizing he was growing and getting hard. I was rinsing him off using my cupped hands.

I knew he was getting ready to cum and was embarrassed, but I jumped up wrapped my arms around him, and gave him a kiss and hug. As he relaxed I washed that area one more time, and sent him on his way.

Laura and Sharon had us up cleaning the camp until 11:00. “All those girls willing to set aside your modesty can dress down to panties and bra and clean off in the lake, others are to go and use the showers first.”

Susan knew I would guess about what I should do, so she grabbed my hand and we ran to the lake together. I was soon down to my bra and panties. Brandy came over and helped me to clean up. I could give her the benefit of the doubt as she turned me on. I felt ready to explode but I knew it wasn't deliberate on her part. It was my first experience of having an orgasm. While I creamed my panties and Brandy gave me a big hug. My excitement was not that of a regular boy. She was all smiles as we let go of each other.

Most of the others and I was close behind as I was really tired and had trouble falling asleep. But when I woke up I found myself waking up in Staci’s arms. She smiled and said thanks and kissed me.

Breakfast talk was a mixture of the raid and girls wanting to see and hear about my gown. The emersion benches were finished and the last was being set in place and a lot of people made their way to the Rainbow Butterfly Garden.

I split my day between there, with April, and visiting with Mom. Chad was back to being himself but he and his mom were happy about the day before. Most girls thought he was just acting cute and the rest were happy that he wanted to be cute.

Mom reserved Saturday for Susan, Mom, and I to walk the trails of the state park and talk as a family. But that left tonight with the ArrowHead boys coming to our place for a dance. I dressed in my tennis outfit and mostly danced with Sam. I wanted to give myself to him and make love but knew that I couldn’t and wouldn't. Cami jokingly helped me out by putting ice down my blouse. One ice cube was caught in my bra and was pretty well melted by the time I could get to it.

Sam and I went for a walk, kissed and hugged but I knew he wanted more. I was getting excited but not so much as a male. I was getting excited as we danced and the male in me said, “If what I am feeling is good, then more would be better.” Several girls were wondering if I was diabetic or an epileptic as I passed out just for a moment.

Sharon glibly said, “I think this southern bell swooned from overheating her engine.” Those who got the humor laughed and those who didn’t laugh a couple of seconds late. “Sam I think she’ll need to sit out a few dances.” I was embarrassed as I came around and was allowed to sit up in a chair. Susan and Lisa both came over to give me a mixture of support and ribbing and then some water.

“Aren’t we taking this girl experience a little too far Sis?” Lisa walked me as I felt up to going to the restroom to freshen my face and have her help me with my hair and appearance in general.

“Sis what am I going to do, this shouldn’t happen to me,” I whispered to Susan.

Susan hugged me back and whispered in my ear, “Patti, it did happen and it happened because you’re becoming my little sis. Please talk to me, I never thought I would have a Sis that I could hold and talk to.” We sat for a few minutes and then Susan said, “I kind of sense Dad is looking down upon us and he’s happy.”

We sat a bit longer and for some reason, I asked Susan, “Could we dance, and would you let me twirl as Dad’s little girl?” Susan took me by the hand and we went dancing as another song had just begun. The first time she had me twirl, I did and I went around at least two times. My sister smiled and drew me back and we danced some more. The second time I twirled, I smiled as I saw Susan, I looked up and felt my Dad’s smile and Susan pulled me back in. “Yes, I feel it too, Dad loves you.” We hugged and finished the dance on the ground.

Sam knew I was crying, but he didn’t realize the tears of joy a girl sometimes has. I tried to thank him, but said, “It’s just a girl thing.” Sam kind of accepted what I said yet he didn’t leave me; he just sat behind me.

The dance ended and Sam gave me a hug and a nice kiss before he left.

To be continued…