Okay, admission time, I've fiddled with my herbal concoction a bit since the last time I talked about it. I'm no longer taking any kind of phyto-estrogen at all. I've balanced and counterbalanced a purely anti-androgen formula and that's all I'm taking right now. Getting hold of strong enough doses of isoflavones was costing waaaay too much.

My current formula involves Chasteberry (pituitary, boosts progestins), Licorice (blocks the main male route to the androgens, also blocks cortisol and corticosterone/aldosterone...), Saw Palmetto (blocks dihydrotestosterone), and Tribulus for the anti-androgen and counterbalances, and no, I'm NOT going to share potencies, that shall remain my secret; first, the right potencies for me might not be right for someone else, second, I'm really not even 100% sure I'M using the right potencies. My formula is based purely on the "feel" of it... I don't have the ability to get my hormone levels checked properly.

In addition to all of these I'm taking a daily multi, potassium, calcium, and garlic, none of which should interact directly with the main formula, but the latter three help to... lessen... some side-effects. The multi is just because I know I don't get all the vitamins and minerals I should every day. Some days I do better than others...

Anyways, the design of it is basically to completely block my bodies production of dihydrotestosterone and spermatogenesis, which is a HUGE part of masculinization, then, further, block my bodies production of the other androgens completely through one route, leaving only one route open. This theoretically should bring my testosterone levels very close to female range.

I'm completely positive that DHT is, in fact, well and truly completely blocked, although I CAN bring myself to climax using some very creative methods, I no longer ejaculate, well, I sort of do, but it's a very thin fluid, and it's not as... forceful... there's definitely no sperm. I don't really know about the rest...

Interesting bit about Tribulus, and the reason I've added it, it has been reported anecdotally, though not enough real scientific experimentation has been done to confirm, that it boosts both testosterone AND estrogen, and does T more in men, but E more in women... It's theorized that what it's really doing that causes this reaction is to boost levels of luteinizing hormone. LH does a lot of very interesting things in the body, and I'm sort of curious just what effect it'll have on me with my androgens so thoroughly blocked... One of the things LH is supposed to do is increase energy levels, much needed to help combat the side-effects of licorice: pseudohyperaldosteronism is a bitch, trust me. And with my androgens so thoroughly blocked, I'm kinda hoping it might have the effect of increasing my own natural production of estrogens, even if only slightly.

Anecdotally, though I'm no longer taking any phytoestrogen component, my body shape changes seem to have, if anything, accelerated.

So yeah... the grand experiment continues... until I can find a way to afford medical and psychiatric care.

Something cool happened at work again today, a complete stranger looking for a specific apartment number stopped her car near me and called out "Excuse me, ma'am," and proceeded to ask me where the apartment number was. I had my music on, so I didn't hear her question at first, so when I went up to the car and turned my music off, if she changed her assessment after seeing me up closer I don't know. I muted it and had her repeat herself, and all she did was ask where the apartment was.

The other day at work the boss of the wrecking crew was all like "(name removed to protect identity) is upset because your tits are bigger than hers." I had a good giggle at that, though I doubt it was at all true, I have a strong suspicion that hers are 100% her, mine are being... enhanced... a little. Not really doing it to attract any sort of attention to them, well, usually, but I wear some thin pads in my bra to help protect my boobs from getting smashed against things at work... trust me, if you've never had the experience of having your boobs roughly meet a hard surface, or, even worse, a protrusion, it ain't fun. The pads are just enough to make it tolerable when it happens. Anyways, back to the story. I also strongly suspect that the individual mentioned doesn't really mind having small boobs, she's a butch, like, hardcore. Not QUITE to the trans-man point, but, well, lets just say that Extravagance and her would probably get on quite well (though she's definitely genetically female, she's bisexual and has kids) ;)

I THINK she was trying to make me self-conscious or upset or something, heh. Poor woman... too bad it had the exact OPPOSITE effect. It made me quite happy. :)

My coworkers and family and close associates outside of work still seem to think of me and treat me in male terms, but... well, at least people who have absolutely no preconceptions from my old shell I've cast away don't seem to. At least, not at first. It seems as soon as they notice the body hair though it goes right to "er, sorry sir," :( One of these days...