Sunday morning, Jan.19 WOW, Miss Diary, this is my first entry, and it's gonna be a doozy! I learned that word doozy from my grandma; she said it came from a real neat expensive car way back in the 1930's. I'm calling you Miss Diary because I'm a young lady now and your not my mom, mrs., or an adult, ms., and your certainly NOT a mr.! Your like me now, a miss.

My birthday was neat! It was just with mom, but I didn't mind as I would see Sam and Cindy tomorrow. I still got some Tommy stuff, but mom said that was because there were going to be times I had to look like Tommy; she said they really didn't count as presents. Have I got a great mom, or what?! I asked if the Tommy stuff wasn't my presents, where were my Tammy presents? I didn't see any boxes. She said "You'll see." and we had cake and ice cream, just the two of us. When we were done, I started to clean off the table - Tommy sure wouldn't have done that - and when I lifted up the cake plate, There was an envelope with "Happy Birthday Tammy" written on it in Mom's handwriting! I looked at her and she just said, "Open it, honey." Guess what? Inside was MY VERY OWN CREDIT CARD!!!

I couldn't believe it. I gave mom the best hug I could, and told her I didn't know they even made credit cards for kids. She told me that it was a program of her credit card company to teach kids how to use credit cards responsibly. She said she was so happy to have a wonderful daughter like me that she had wanted to buy me a lot of pretty things. But then she said, "I thought, 'I bet Tammy would like to shop with her friends and pick out things for herself.' So I got you this credit card instead."

I gave her another hug and a big kiss - girls can do that - and told her I was really lucky to have such a great mom. Miss Diary, it had a TWO HUNDRED DOLLAR limit! I know how hard my mom works, so I asked her are you sure and she said it was OK 'cause it was from Aunt Jen, too.

Mom said to call Sam and Cindy and tell 'em that if it was OK with their parents she would take us shopping at the mall tomorrow and etceteras. I asked her what "etceteras" meant and she just smiled and said wait and see. She can be so irritating at times! Hey, I just used one of my vocabulary words from Friday. It's true; you can actually USE school stuff! She said I could use my new card. Look out stores!

It was OK for both. Mom cut me off after about 15 minutes of what are we gonna wear, but I didn't really mind. I went to sleep a happy GIRL that night. Girl birthday #1; wow!

:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

If I was still Tommy, I'd feel like a real sissy using smiley faces like above, but since I'm Tammy, and girl's do stuff like that, it's OK. There's so much more stuff that girls can do and not get picked on than boys. If I want to play baseball I can and the worst I'll be called is a tomboy, but if Tommy had of played with dolls, he'd'of been called a sissy or faggot and it's a lot worse for a boy to be called that than for a girl to be called a tomboy. Ha! Now Tom's a "Tomgirl"! :-) I kill me! :-)

But I digress. (another vocabulary word!)

When I got up, I dressed in my nice lingerie (NOT a school word! Mom told me it was the word for fancy girls' unders.) and a skirt and blouse but mom said to wear plain old unders and a sundress because I would probably be trying on a lot of stuff and that would be easy to slip on and off. That made me a bit nervous. Mom said that learning stuff like that was part of my new class, Girl 101 :-) Funny, mom! I fixed her a nice breakfast of blueberry pancakes to show my appreciation. Then we went to pick up my other two Girl 101 instructors. When I told them that they giggled and Cindy said they would "Take no nonsense from you, young lady!" and Sam winked at me and said she would make sure I did my homework. Mom almost had to pull over to the side of the road she laughed so hard at that; I wonder if she knows more about me and Sam than I think??

As we pulled into the mall parking lot, I got my credit card out of my purse and showed it to Sam and Cindy. Cindy pointed out something I hadn't noticed before; the last three numbers were 007. I showed it to mom and said in accent "Jane, Jane Bond at your service; then we all three shouted together, "Double 0 Seven, LICENSE TO SHOP!" She almost collided with the car in front of her for laughing so hard. "You have GOT to stop doing that to me!" she scolded, but she was still smiling as she finished parking.

We're studying World War II in history class, and I bet General Eisenhower and his staff never planned as hard or as thoroughly as Sam, Cindy, and I did for our shopping D (dress :-)) - Day. When we got to the doors, one old guy held them open for us and said "Good morning ladies."

No one ever did that for Tommy! 'Course no one ever looked at his chest like the guy did me either. What was with him? there's almost nothing there! I wonder if there's something that I can do to get boobs - oops, Sam says girls call 'em tits - like a real biogirl - I made that up, Miss Diary, biogirl. My history teacher said that president Harding invented the word "normalcy"; if the president can invent words, I guess I can too!

Anyway, we each grabbed a mall map from the information desk, but before we could open them up Mom said she wanted her and I to go to one particular store first and then she would leave us alone for a couple of hours to plan our and execute our campaign. We three giggling strategists followed her to a store called Arlene's Boutique.

We went in to the back of the store where there was a mother/daughter section. I grabbed Mom and hugged her; this was going to be so neat! Mom and I would match! I turned to my friends with a big grin on my face, but they had a like "Oh, yukk" looks on theirs, and my own face fell. But then they smiled and told me it was all right, that I just hadn't been a girl long enough to get past the "I want to look like Mom" stage.

They asked Mom if they could go - translate escape - to the food court and wait while she and I made our selection. She said OK and told them not to worry, that we wouldn't wear our matching outfits while with them in the store. They got looks of relief on their faces and hurried away. I asked Mom what that was all about, and she hugged me and told me not to worry about it and that she was glad she could have me as her Little girl instead of a preteen for a while longer. We picked out matching red and white polka dot dresses and mom said she'd get us matching red shoes and purses while she was by herself. Later, I bought a red and white bead bracelet and necklace set and a red hair bow to match, which earned me a "You are SUCH a little girl!" from Cindy, but she said it with a smile. Mom and I are going to wear our outfits to church today. I gotta get ready as soon as I'm done confiding in you, Miss Diary.

We met up with Sam and Cindy at the food court, and Mom went her way leaving us to plan. I found out Tommy's still around, because I drew on his knowledge of war games to help plan Operation Shop Till We Drop. Sam and Cindy were impressed; being Tommy hadn't been all bad :-)

What is it about girls and shoes? I don't know, but I've caught it. We decided on Payless to be the victim of our first attack. Sam and Cindy said Cheap shoes would be better while my girl tastes were still growing. If I found I liked what I bought, I could get sturdier - opps, alert! alert! Tommy term, so, yukk, male! - well crafted versions later; if I didn't like them, I wasn't out much money. Besides, at Payless, we didn't have to wait for someone to wait on us.

We attacked without mercy, leaving boxes and shoes scattered in our wake. Before the single girl manning (Can a girl 'man' something?) the register clued in to the devastation we had wrought ('devastation we had wrought?' Miss Diary, did I just write that? I must be paying a heck of a lot more attention in English class than I thought. Super!) We had paid for the ones we were actually buying and were out the door. We collapsed giggling on a bench far away from Payless.

Sam had two pairs of the same open-toed sandals, one in white and the other in tan. I asked her why she had bought open-toed sandals in January, and she peered into my eyes and told me she guessed there was still a boy in there somewhere. I'm afraid my first thought was 'Women!' Guess Tommy's not going to go easily. I really am in need of Girl 101! As Mom was getting my red shoes, I just got a pair of black pumps with a 1 1/2 inch heel, and a pair of black pumps with a 4 inch heel. I may not show those to Mom. :-) Cindy DID buy a pair of red pumps with 2 inch heels.

This is getting long, and I haven't even got to the best part, Miss Diary, so I'll only say things went the same in Penneys for clothes and Claire's Boutique for accessories. Then I saw it and my eyes got big and I moved toward it sort of in awe: Victoria's Secret! Sam and Cindy tried to hold me back, saying their moms would ground them for a month if they went in there, but they didn't try too hard. I told them that I just figured out how to pay my Mom back for all she had done for me, and maybe Aunt Jen, too. Mom had brought us pretty matching outers; I'd get us matching pretty unders - lingerie! - outfits.

We knew better than to tear into Victoria's, it would be like desecrating a church. (Desecrating???!!! Thank you, Miss Parsons for giving us really tough vocabulary units. Is this girl stuff affecting my brain? Maybe it's true; girls REALLY ARE smarter than boys, and, while I'm not really a full girl yet, maybe some of it's rubbing off from Mom, Aunt Jen, Sam, and Cindy onto me! WOW!) I found really ruffley and, dare I say it, sexy, nighties for us.

The sales girl who helped us was Moms size, and Aunt Jen is Mom's size, so I asked her for two in her size. I didn't know my size, so naturally Sam and Cindy made me try one on. I thought I'd be embarrassed, but it was FUN! It was satin (I read the label.) and felt really good in it. I don't know if twelve year old girls should look and feel sexy, but I sure felt sexy and Cindy and Sam must have thought I looked sexy because their jaws almost hit the floor when I opened the door and showed them.

They had red, black, and white in all our sizes; Even though I had tried on the red one, Cindy said that since I was a new girl I should get the white one. I got the black one for Mom and the red one for Aunt Jen. they're under the bed now, Miss Diary, but Aunt Jen is coming to spend the night next Saturday and we are so gonna be three HOTTIES!

Anyway, here's the strangest part. Victoria's is right next to Arlene's Boutique, and mom had told us to wait there for her or she would wait for us if she got done first. (After Mom left, Cindy raised her pinkie in the air and told us in a uppa uppa class voice, "One never gets DONE shopping, my dears." :-) We three plopped on a bench facing Arlene's. There were some to die for evening dresses in the window that we had tried on earlier.

As we watched, a boy walked up and stood looking in the window at one dress, a black beaded floor length strapless number. We all knew him, Kenny Johnson from our class, and I knew the look on his face. It was a look of pure unadulterated (Vocab again!) longing. HE wanted that dress! I don't know how I knew it, Miss diary, but I did; I knew it as well as I know I'm now Tammy. He wanted that dress. I wondered if she had an Aunt Jen to help her. I got up, not saying anything to Sam or Cindy; I knew what I had to do. I kinda sensed that Sam and Cindy were following me, but I was focused on Kenny.

I tapped him on the shoulder, and he flinched and turned. He didn't recognize me at first, but I said, "Hi, Kenny," in my Tommy voice and I could see him recognize me. "Tommy?" he said. In my own Tammy voice I told him, "I was Tommy but now I'm Tammy, and you want to wear that dress, don't you?" I know because I was you last month, and I wanted one almost just like it." For a minute, Miss D, I thought she was going to run, but Sam and Cindy were blocking her escape route and she just finally fell into my arms crying. Cripes, she was a little bigger than me and I thought I was going down with her, but Sam, who's pretty strong, helped me hold her.

I'm referring to her as a girl, because I just knew Kenny was a girl inside as sure as I know I'm Tammy. At that point, Kenny's dad, Mr. Johnson came up and he went "What's going on? Is something wrong with Kenny? and I went "No, there's something right." and we three girls got Kenny and his dad over to the bench and I told him who I am and was, and at that point mom came up, and we three talked to Kenny and she talked to Mr. Johnson and we're all gonna meet at Sam's house tomorrow night so her dad can be there, too. I thought mom kinda liked Mr. Johnson; he's cute in an old guy way.

But here's the thing. Before we separated, Kenny asked me, "So you're going to school tomorrow Tammy?" Not Tommy, and he didn't say "as Tammy"; he just expected Tammy girl to show up at school. It was like a bucket of cold water and I had a Tommy reaction, which, thankfully, I didn't voice, of "No way in Hell" and I thought of what the guys would do to me, and I almost panicked. But then I saw that Mom had heard, and she was looking at me with love like she'd support whatever I decided, and Sam and Cindy were looking at me the same way. And Kenny was just looking at me like there was no Tommy and I was just a girl in a pretty dress like I knew she wanted to be, and I knew maybe I could make it a little easier for her when she came out of her Kenny shell.

Miss Diary, I prayed last night. I'm not a real church person, but what are the chances of another person like me being in the same school, same class even? I don't know what'll happen tomorrow night, whether The johnsons will show up or not. but i do know this Tammy girl is going to wear her prettiest dress to school tomorrow! Mom's calling me to get ready for church. I'll let you know how things turn out.