College Girl
By poetheather
Chap 17

I was nervous. This whole situation was fairly unreal. I mean, I wanted to go back to this, to being a girl and I didn’t know why. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to explain it if asked and that didn’t help matters. I just felt like I wanted to complete this. Sure part of it was my pride and my sense of honor, but not completely. Hell, part of this I wasn’t sure I wanted to tell Meredith. Would she even understand?

The drive to the House was quiet as we were both thinking things through. I knew Sandra had really pissed off Merri but I wasn’t exactly sure how. I knew they had gotten into an argument, but maybe it was a good thing that I didn’t know the details. Merri was very intimidating when she was angry.

When I saw the House my heart started racing, my palms were sweating and I almost fainted. Merri pulled up in the back and pulled up the parking brake. We sat there for a moment, with her gazing at the House and holding my hand. Her touch calmed me down some; after all, we were together. Meredith looked at me and smiled faintly, “Come on.”

We walked into the House and into the common room. The room was filled with the Sisters all staring at us. Meredith held my hand tighter either top reassure me or her. I wasn’t sure which. We got fully into the room and stood there in front of everyone, and waited.

Nadia stepped forward. She looked upset, which I was sure didn’t bode well for me. “Meredith, Richard, we all had a vote about this, just so you know. This whole thing has been a big experiment and there were bound to be…issues. But we have decided that Richard can stay if he wants to.”

I was so relieved that I started to cry. Meredith hugged me and said, “And what about us? Sandra made it clear that the House could only be harmed by this, which is funny, as there are a couple of other different lifestyles here in the House.”

“There was a vote on that as well. It was decided that your relationship, while unexpected, is fine. It’s not like you’re a little kid who needs guidance.” Nadia smiled faintly. “So, Caitlin, did you want to stay or go back to being Richard? Either way we will still be your friends.”

I nodded, unable to speak at that point. Before the celebration began Meredith held her hand up for quiet. “Wait a second. This whole thing was brought about by one person. I demand an apology for myself and Caitlin.”

All heads turned to Sandra, who did not look overly happy. “I’m sorry.”

It wasn’t said with a great deal of sincerity but it was said. Once that was done a huge chunk of the girls came up and hugged me. They then rushed about to get various things done before the more intensive time to be spent that evening. Gwen took my hand and led me back to our room. Meredith smiled at me as we left and then started talking to Nadia.

Once the door was closed behind us Gwen hugged me fiercely. “Caitlin, don’t ever do that again! I panicked when I saw you weren’t in the room.”

“I’m sorry Gwen, but I was so thrown by what Sandra said to me that I just ran.” I shrugged and then hugged her.

She hugged back. It was getting a little odd. “You will ever guess what happened?”

“If I will never guess, why do I need to guess?” I replied logically.

“Well, after Sandra laid out why you needed to be gone the first person to speak up wasn’t me…it was Kerry.”

That floored. Kerry? The girl who had wanted to get rid of me? “Buh…wha…hunh?”

“Yeah. I know. She stood up and defended you, calling Sandra wrong. She insisted that you were not a threat to the House and that this whole thing might not be a bad idea.” Gwen smiled happily.

“Really?” I was stunned. Kerry did that?

“Yeah. She had been the biggest voice against you and then she turned into the biggest voice for you.”

Wow. Kerry really did that for me? I was amazed. I guess our talk the other night really had been helpful. I felt like a great burden had been lifted off of me. I was a bit dazed and I wasn’t sure what to do. I just sat there on my bed.

I was emotionally drained. I just wanted to lie down and rest. I undressed, dropping Rebecca’s clothes in a pile. I crawled under the covers and fell asleep fairly quickly.

* * * * * *

The room was fairly dark when I woke up. I thought I had heard someone calling my name. I opened my eyes and there was Meredith sitting on the edge of the bed. “Hey there sleepyhead.”

“Hey.”

“Feeling any better?” I thought about it and nodded. I was feeling better.

“We thought it would be better for you to sleep, so you don’t have to go to the Rush stuff tonight. You can just relax and try to get over the emotional ups and downs of the last few days.”

“That would be nice.” Why did my life have to be so crazy?

“Okay. I have to get back downstairs, but someone wanted to come in and say hi. Is that okay?” I nodded to Meredith who smiled and kissed me on the forehead.

Kerry was one of the last people I would have expected to come through the door. She smiled shyly at me. Merri left me and went back to the party. “How are you feeling?”

“Wrung out. I don’t really like emotional rollercoasters.”

“I am sorry for my part in things. I guess I just didn’t know you. But I want to get to know you better. I figure that really wouldn’t be possible if you were gone.”

I nodded. “Yeah, it would be difficult, as I may never have come back to the House.”

“Caitlin, I just wanted you to know I want to be your friend.”

I felt tightness in my chest. She really wanted to be my friend? I smiled at her, my eyes growing wet with tears. I really hoped I didn’t start crying again. What was with that anyway? “I would like that a lot.”

Kerry gave me a quick hug. “Okay. I have to get back downstairs and try to decide who I want to come in the House.”

“Oh, if you see a Goth girl, try to be nice to her. She is really cool and I think she might do well in the House.” I added.

Kerry thought about it. “Alright. If I see her I’ll talk to her. Bye.”

Once again I was alone. I looked around the room. Why hadn’t I said anything? I wanted to stay and would fight to do that, so why hadn’t I fought? Probably, because things had sort of worked out already. I was still pissed and a bit shaken. This whole thing had gotten me to look at this experiment in a new light.

This was where I wanted to be and being a girl for the four years I would be here would be fine. It wasn’t the end of the world and besides I had plenty of support. Well, mostly.

There was a knock at the door. “Come in.”

When Sandra walked in I got all nervous and worried. What the hell did she want? She was the one who started this whole thing both good and bad.

“Caitlin, are you doing okay? Need anything?” she asked politely.

“Yes. What the hell? Why would you have done this?”

Sandra pulled out the chair from the desk and sat down. “I am sorry, Caitlin. I was irritated with Merri for having a relationship with you. I didn’t think it was appropriate. I also thought that it was some sort of plot from you to ensure that you could stay in the House. I miss judged you badly.”

“Damn it Sandra, I told you I would keep my word. Didn’t you believe me?”

She blushed a little, embarrassed. “No, I didn’t. I couldn’t imagine a guy who would be able to put up with this and not hit on someone or make a scene. I still have trouble thinking that you want to put up with this.”

“But I do. I want to be here. I thought people were my friends and I liked that. I…I…also sort of like the whole girl thing. It’s different but freeing in some ways. I am not sure how I will feel once classes start and I really have to interact with people outside of the Sorority, but for now I like it.” I blushed as well, also from embarrassment.

Sandra sat there looking at me for a moment. “Are you Trans?”

I thought about things. Was I? Was this more than my word being honored? “I don’t know. Maybe. That is the best I can do. “

Sandra looked at me. “So you like some of this stuff?”

I nodded, looking at my comforter.

“And you don’t mind being a girl?”

I sighed. “I don’t mind being a girl. It bothered me a lot at first, but I have just gotten used to it. It feels normal now. And the whole notion of going through school with this many friends and the kind of support you all have is a great thought. So, I don’t mind as I think the benefits outweigh the pain of heels and such.”

Sandra nodded as if she was following what I was saying. “Okay. I won’t push things then. Just make sure you and Meredith are discrete. We don’t need any rumors to get started, alright?”

I nodded. “Yes. Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. You are the one who is coping with all of this. I am sorry for upsetting you. I guess that I misinterpreted things.” admitted Sandra. “You get some rest. Tomorrow is semi-formal.”

Sandra left the room and I stared at the door. That question, was I trans. I realized that I had no answer for that. I was crossdressing but did that make me a crossdresser? I was enjoying living as a girl, but did that make me a transsexual? I sighed and lay back, staring at the ceiling. All I seemed to have was questions. When was I going to have answers?