College Girl
By poetheather

Chapter 9

The sun was really warm on my back as I lay there on the back lawn of the house. I was propped up on my elbows and reading one of the magazines that I had been assigned. I wasn’t keen on articles on how to please my man, or many other things but I was sure there was some sort of purpose for all of this. At least I hoped there was. As long as they didn’t test me on “20 ways to please your man in Bed” I would be fine.

The only thing I thought was weird was the whole wearing a bikini to sunbathe. First off I had never sunbathed before and then never wearing something that I felt quite so exposed in. It was a bit nerve wracking to walk out of the house in that outfit and lie down. I felt like there were people all over the place watching me. Meredith and Gwen wouldn’t let me cover up. They said something about it being normal but I was too weirded out still by the clothes to care.

I had mentioned this to Gwen who had laughed. “Yeah, I understand that Caitlin. For a large part, that is why we moved our sunbathing back here. For a while we would sunbathe on the front lawn, since it is more open and gets better sun, but guys would then start to drive by and just start oogling. So we moved to here. It has been quieter.”

“That couldn’t have been fun.” I said, thinking about how uncomfortable that had to have been, guys driving up and down the street staring at me. I shuddered.

“It wasn’t. You end up feeling like a piece of meat, like something for their enjoyment, not real. A lot of the time most guys look at you like an object and not a person. You’ll get used to it over time. It’s not like you have any choice.” She replied, irritation clear.

I shuddered some. Did I really want to get used to that? If it was a part of life as a girl did I really think I could take being looked at like a thing? If a girl could do that surely I could. Couldn’t I?

Gwen spoke up, breaking my reflection of earlier conversations. “Caitlin, you need to roll over. You have cooked enough on one side, so it’s time to flip.”

I rolled over and put my magazine down. After the spa yesterday, this level of relaxing was nice. Just feeling the sun bake my skin was great, it was very sensual. The feel of the bikini bottom was odd, however, and I reached down my hands and tugged it more in place. Once it felt better I put my head down and rested.

This whole thing has been odd and fun. Time was passing slowly for me as there were all sorts of new things to learn and experience. Each day had something new, at least several things. I was enjoying it now once things shifted away from a really uncomfortable place of first coping with this. I was getting better with this whole thing. It was something more than I had thought but it was getting less odd.

I just tried to be comfortable with things. I didn’t know where I was going with this whole social experiment I had stumbled into, but it was definitely more interesting than being who I had been. As Richard I was practically a non-entity for the most part. I was invisible. But now I was definitely more visible. My clothes were different, I stood out more. I was a bit uncomfortable with that but Meredith and Gwen seemed to know what they were doing for the most part, as did the rest of the girls.

I smiled when I thought of Meredith. She was really going out of her way to make me feel comfortable with things. She was beautiful and smart and amazing and she wanted to be with me. I wasn’t really sure what to do with that but it did make me smile. If dressing like this helped me with Meredith than I could live with being a girl. Though I wasn’t sure what I would do once I graduated. Would I stay like this? Would I be able to return to my life?

“Caitlin?”

I shaded my face with a hand and looked up at the voice. “Yes?”

Nadia was looking down at me. “Are you free after lunch?”

I nodded. “I think so. As far as I know I only have classes this morning. Is it something important?”

She smiled and shook her head. “No. I just want to talk to you is all. See you after lunch.”

With that she turned and headed back into the house. Meredith was coming out and I saw the two of them talk a little. I was wondering what was up but I was a bit too warm and comfortable to stress over anything.

Meredith walked up and stood off to the side, out of my light. “Hey, Caitlin!”

I smiled as I looked up at her. “What?”

“Time to stop baking and come inside. Get changed, we have some things to do.” With that she turned and headed back inside. I sighed, no rest for the weary.

I stood up and adjusted my bikini bottom again. Didn’t those things ever stay in place? I grabbed my towel and headed inside. Meredith swatted my butt as I walked past her and I yelped, jumping forward. She laughed and I grumbled as I headed upstairs, rubbing my sore ass. The shower did feel really nice after the sun though. I didn’t wash my hair as I didn’t want to have to dry it again. Taking care of long hair was really a bit of a pain, especially doing it the way they showed me how to do it.

I rubbed in lotion and brushed out my hair. That was definitely one of the things I liked about this. I got dressed in a light blue sundress with flowers and butterflies that I really liked. I would have preferred it to be on Meredith or even Gwen but I did think I looked good in it. The changes they had made to me certainly made me look like the girl I was supposed to be. I put on a pair of strappy sandals and headed downstairs. More unending torture with classes I was sure.

And it certainly was that. They were now leading me through the long drawn out process of creating of a female history. I learned about periods, puberty, masturbation, crushes, boys and all sorts of other things that I had never thought about, like what the hell was a horse girl? Thankfully they decided I wasn’t one. I figured I liked faeries better. But I had no idea why that was important, but when they started talking about all the faerie stuff that we would get I was starting to get the idea. Apparently some of these developmental phases affected you for a long time. It almost felt like I had lost out some experiences. Once this was created I was supposed to memorize it, to have reference material.

I was also given more books for reading and study. I had no idea what Reviving Ophelia was about but I had to read it. And I was also given some book called Manifesta. I was told it was good but different, about something called Third Wave Feminism. School was definitely starting early for me this year. At least that book wasn’t some sort of romance novel. However I was told I had to read Rhapsody at some point. Some sort of Fantasy Adventure Romance novel. I was told it was good and that I would enjoy it. I wasn’t sure. This whole thing kept getting more and more involved as things went on. If I didn’t have all this help there is no way I could have pulled this off on my own.

They worked some more on my moving and standing and the way I held my arms and hands and books and everything. I would have screamed but it wouldn’t have really helped me in the long run. If I wanted to be here I would have to play by their rules and I did want to be here. Thankfully, compared to the whole history thing it wasn’t half bad.

After a few hours of this, it was lunch time. I really liked my chicken salad with some sort of bleu cheese vinaigrette on it. That was so good that I really wanted more. There were tomatoes and other things in it as well and plenty of chicken. I liked it and I had never had a dressing like it before. Thankfully it was a large salad, as I was quite hungry. I was really starting to like salads for lunch but then you can get used to anything over time.

Several of the girls and I were talking about various movies that were out. They were talking about several films I hadn’t seen and several of the summer blockbusters that I had. I never had really thought about girls going on their own to action films before. The things they remembered were a bit different than my own observations. I actually got a different kind of appreciation of the films from the conversation. It made me want to see them again so I could try and spot what they spotted. The girls did seem to think and see things differently than I did. It made me wonder if it was learned or innate.

As we chatted I saw Nadia wave to me from the doorway. I nodded to her and said my goodbyes to everybody else. As I headed over Nadia turned and headed towards the room where we had met the first time. I was really wondering what was going on.

It must have shown on my face. She smiled as she took a seat. “Relax Caitlin; there is nothing to worry about. You aren’t in any trouble. I have heard nothing but praise from the girls and most of them agree that this was a good idea so far. I was just worried about you. Meredith told me about the problems you were having and I have been concerned.”

“I’m fine, really.” I replied quickly. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to talk about these things with the woman who could end this with a word.

“I know this probably isn’t the easiest thing for you to do Caitlin, but I have been extremely impressed and I have been sending reports to National about you and what you have been doing. They are impressed as well. But why don’t you tell me what has been bothering you lately?” she rested a hand on my knee, something I had come to understand as a gesture of compassion and caring.

I sighed, no real choice at this point. And it really did seem as if Nadia did care about what was going on with me. “Alright, it is just going through this has been really odd. Sometimes I am not sure who I am any more. The other night was the worst it has been, but it is also keeping me up at night sometimes. This has put my head in a spin, to say the least. I feel lost more often than not, like I have no idea who I am.”

Nadia nodded her head. She really was very attractive and I liked her smile. It certainly seemed as if she did care. “Well, I guess this would be hard. Actually, I hadn’t thought about it too much. We have been worried about you bringing disrespect to our house so we may have been pushing you too hard. Honestly Caitlin, we don’t really know what we are doing with this. With Meredith’s help we are making things up to try and have you blend in without taking any permanent steps. We want you to do this on your own and not try to force you to do any of this. If it is too much we can stop, no harm no foul.”

I shook my head. I had endured too much to give up now. “I don’t want to quit. I gave my word to you and the other Sisters and I intend to keep it. If you had said no I would have taken you to court but you didn’t. I may not have started this with the full intention of joining but when you let me in I felt honor bound to accept. Otherwise, I would have been a hypocrite. There has been so much I have learned in the short time I have been here that its amazing. It hasn’t even been remotely easy but it has been interesting and fun.”

“What sort of problems are you having?” She actually looked concerned for me. I guess maybe she really was. None of the women of the House were mean or cruel, so maybe I could trust her.

“Well, I am still having issues with how I look. I look…odd. Sometimes it makes me think that I might not be me any more. But I am getting better with that. Meredith has definitely been helping with that. I also feel like I am breaking up at times and I don’t really want that. Maybe I haven’t had enough time to just relax.”

“We can fix that. You are doing so well we will move the classes and stuff to every other day until we think you have enough to fit in without being noticed. We, as a House, don’t want to be laughed at for letting a guy in. We have no problem with it, but National is afraid of the negative press and image that might portray. They are still trying to decide if this was a good idea. I hope we can show them that you are a man of your word and honestly want to be a Sister of this House.” She seemed really passionate about what she was saying. I had to agree with her as I didn’t want the grief that would come from being exposed as well. This had already gone to the point that it never could be lived down. I would have to move to another country as I was fairly certain I couldn’t get off planet.

“Thank you for that, Nadia. I just really haven’t had the time to just sit with all of this and feel it out for my self. And I want to do some normal stuff occasionally. If I am supposed to be one of the girls I need to relax into being a girl, not feel like I am cramming for a test all the time.”

She smiled at me. “Not a problem Caitlin…Richard…uhm...not a problem. Heh…I already think of you as one of the girls. You are worlds different than you where when you first came here. I like you and hope you can make it through this. And many of the other girls do as well. If you act in a way that is without fault then the ones who are worried might be able to cope with things.”

“I wasn’t aware that there were some people who didn’t want this?” I was worried a little bit. Would this cause trouble?

“Don’t worry about it. Meredith and Gwen assure me and the others that you are holding up their end of the bargain and that you are trying to become a Sister of this House. That is helping, as is your attitude. You also have a number of the other Sisters saying only good things about you.”

I smiled and felt my face grow warm. I had never really been praised before and I was getting really embarrassed. I looked at the floor and stammered. “Erm…thank you.”

She smiled again and laughed a little. “You go and enjoy yourself. Tonight should be fun.”

I turned and headed upstairs, waving as I went. About halfway up the flight of stairs it hit me...I would be going out with a guy tonight. I stumbled a bit at that realization but continued upstairs. I stopped at the top of the stairs and breathed deeply. I would be all right. Meredith wouldn’t let anything happen to me. She wouldn’t.

Gwen must have noticed something when I walked into the room because she helped me to my bed and got me to sit down. I barely noticed that until she hugged me. “It’ll be okay Caitlin. They’re only boys, nothing to be scared of. They shouldn’t even be that stinky.”

I calmed down some, but her breasts against my face did little to calm other things. I pulled away when I felt better, but I know my face was red, and I was very hard and very uncomfortable because of it. I turned away, feeling like I was unable to look at her. The whole thing was very awkward and I wished I could hide.

“Caitlin? What’s wrong?” Gwen was too perceptive for my own good.

“Uhm…that was a bit more exciting than I needed…” I caught her eyes, glanced down at my crotch and then back up.

She laughed and began apologizing. “I’m sorry Caitlin. Next time I’ll keep my boobs out of your face.”

We both laughed about that. “What do you want to do until it’s time to get ready for your date?”

“I am just going to sit and write in my journal a bit if that’s okay. I want to veg for a bit. Things have been far too action packed for me lately. I could use the down time.” I lay back against my pillows, reaching over for my journal.

She nodded. “Sounds good to me. I’m gonna run to Starbucks, want anything?”

“No thank you. Starbucks is evil.” I wasn’t sure I wanted to get into my rant about Starbucks.

“Okay…more for me. I’ll see you when I get back.” With that she grabbed her purse and headed out. She waved from the door.

I was alone in my room.

My room…with décor from the girls. What did I want? How would I decorate this room? I wasn’t sure. If I was supposed to be a girl, and considering how I looked it wasn’t really an option to be otherwise, what did I like? The questions earlier that day were running through my head. What did I like?

I actually didn’t know. Things had changed and some of my ideas had as well. I looked over my posters and other stuff. I did like my bear. That was really nice and very cuddly. It helped when I was feeling off or confused. She was amazingly helpful. My bear. She had become my bear. That was different. I had never had a bear or any other stuffed animal. And I was starting to like different things for décor. Maybe I could change my room around?

Also, I was coming to like wearing dresses, skirts and nightgowns. That was also a bit odd. The materials were so nice and they moved nicely against my hairless skin. Thinking back over my other clothes I felt so drab and boring and the material was so rough on my skin as well. There were a lot of things to be said about women’s clothes.

What the hell was happening to me? Was this bad? I actually liked some of this? Shouldn’t I hate this? I was…I am a guy, so shouldn’t I not like this stuff? Shouldn’t I be enraged by all the feminine things that surrounded me?

I shook my head to clear it. I was where I was. There was no shame in what I was doing. I was honoring my word and going through something that other guys could never imagine. I was living in a Sorority house. I took showers in the same room as other girls. It was really awesome. So it meant wearing the clothes of and living as a girl. The perks really seemed to be nice as well. And I have friends. Friends who might actually remain my friends after I leave this school. And my first ever girlfriend, but I am going to avoid telling Merri that one. Sometimes all of that was more important than the difficult things.

I just sat and relaxed, letting my thoughts drift away with me. I was getting better with dealing with this whole thing. Maybe I would even be able to cope with the fact that I was about to go on a date with a guy. Merri said she would make it up to me and arrange it so I would have a beard, whatever that meant. But Merri said she was going to try and find a way to cover me without my having to do anything really special. I probably should have been worried, but I am a sucker when it comes to Meredith. All she had to do was give me that smile and I would agree to anything.

I looked over at the clock and cursed. It was about time to start getting ready for tonight. Meredith had said casual, so I was going to wear a comfortable skirt and a nice airy blouse. The two looked really good together and their color was nice on me. They made me look good.

I also did up my makeup, a bit heavier than normal, doing my eyes and going for a darker lipstick. That would help as well. I styled my hair and slipped on some sandals that went with the outfit. Once I grabbed my purse I headed over to Meredith’s room and knocked on the door. I heard a muffled “Come in.”

Meredith was topless, getting her bra on. I smiled at this sight. “Evening Merri.”

She looked up as well and smiled. “Evening. You look wonderful. That is a great skirt. Are you ready for this?”

“I think so. I am willing to go through with it at any rate.”

She came up and hugged me. As she pulled back she brushed my face with her hand. “That’s my girl.”

I smiled and blushed, looking away.

She pulled on her blouse and grabbed her purse. “Let’s get going. Those two should be over here really soon.”

“You haven’t told me who this date is with.” I stated nervously.

“Oh, sorry. They are both friends of mine, Albert and Paul. They are both in a fraternity. Paul has a bit of a problem, as he is gay. Al knows but none of the other brothers know. I figured that if you had a ‘boyfriend’ who wasn’t going to do anything it would kill two birds with one stone. Besides he is really cute.”

“Won’t Al hit on you?”

“Doubtful, as I have already told him that I met someone over the summer, but that I wouldn’t mind going out with him as a friend. He is a nice guy and all of that but I really don’t want to do anything more with him than hang out occasionally. Besides, you are more my type you sexy thing.” With that she grabbed my ass. I yelped and she started laughing. “It’ll be fine Caitlin; I am not worried at all about you.”

“I am a bit worried, but if you think this whole thing is safe I guess I will believe you.” I was still not overly pleased with the whole going out on a date with a guy thing, but if she said it would be fine than I was going to believe her. If she was lying to me, I was in a world of hurt waiting to happen. If they ever decided to turn mean I would be so screwed.

Her cell phone phone rang.

“Yes? Great. Tell them will be right down.”

After she hung up the phone she turned to me smiling like the cat that ate the canary. “Let’s go girlfriend, our dates are here.”