I drove to the University Center with thoughts rolling around in my head. I managed to get a spot close to the entrance but I just sat there in the car for a bit, letting my thoughts sort of quiet down. I looked at myself in the mirror and I closed my eyes as I felt a tightening in my chest that had nothing to do with my bra. I sighed and opened my eyes again. Richard didn’t look back from the rear-view mirror, Caitlin did.

Disclaimer
This is a work of fiction. There should be no way that these characters are like anyone else, but if that isn’t the case, it has definitely been unintentional. Also, if you happen to find that your life is represented in these pages, I’ll be impressed.

College Girl
By poetheather
Chap 21

I drove to the University Center with thoughts rolling around in my head. I managed to get a spot close to the entrance but I just sat there in the car for a bit, letting my thoughts sort of quiet down. I looked at myself in the mirror and I closed my eyes as I felt a tightening in my chest that had nothing to do with my bra. I sighed and opened my eyes again. Richard didn’t look back from the rear-view mirror, Caitlin did.

I grabbed my cell phone and called Becca. There was something I was wondering and I really needed her help with that right now. It rang a few times and after she answered I started right in, “Becca, do you have any of my clothes? You know…my guy stuff.”

“Yeah. I wanted to offer it to you the other day, but you were too upset. Why?” she asked, somewhat confused.

“I…uh…I wanted to see how I look in them. You know, to see if I look like me anymore.” I was worried about it and I really wanted to see how I looked now. A lot had changed, but how much was it permanent enough that it could be seen when I was dressed in my old clothes? “I wanted to come over, without the breasts and makeup and everything and see how I look.”

“Oh…okay. Don’t you think that’s a bit odd?” Becca sounded concerned, like I was beginning to crack. I can’t really say I wasn’t.

“Don’t you think this whole thing is a bit odd?” I countered.

“Okay. You have a point. So, tomorrow after that sorority thing?” she asked.

“Yeah. I just want to see how I look, see what the difference is.” I was a bit worried. I mean I had lived and dressed as a woman for almost a month. How much had that changed me? Would it be evident to anyone who could look at me? Just how much did the breast forms help? I wanted to know.

I looked at the clock on my car stereo and saw I needed to get in there. I had about another five minutes before I would be late. This would not be something I should miss. The week had already been crazy enough. “I’ll call you tomorrow and set up a time.”

“Okay. Take care of yourself Caitlin. I don’t want to see you get hurt.” The concern in her voice was nice to hear.

I felt warm inside, as if she had just hugged me. The fact that Becca and I had gotten closer again had been another great upside from this whole misadventure. “I love you too. Talk to you tomorrow.”

“Bye.”

I hung up the phone and stored it in my purse, which was little more than a clutch really. I wanted to get into the UC and get this whole thing started, as my butterflies were fighting with each other. There were streams of girls all dressed up heading into the building. Some of them looked awesome and some simply looked okay, as if they had only expended enough effort to qualify as dressed up. I didn’t spot Alison, but I figured we would meet inside.

I got in there and headed over to where our group was supposed to meet. It was everybody heading over to the particular House, marked with the Houses letters. The signs did make things easier.

When I got to the table I looked over the group. It was pretty diverse, which didn’t surprise me all that much, as the girls didn’t seem overly focused on any one thing, like sports or academics. There seemed to be several studious types, or at least I thought so because of their glasses. There was no uniformity color of skin like some of the Houses and there was no uniformity of weight. I was actually pretty impressed by the variety. There were a few who looked the stereotype but that was it. It made me feel so proud to be considered for Sisterhood with them.

I looked over at the front door waiting for Alison to show up. I wondered what she would be wearing tonight, as she always tried to be dressed in all of her Goth glory. She didn’t disappoint.

When she walked in she looked even more like Amy Lee from Evenascence, with her long black dress with a bit of a train that trailed behind her. It reminded me of an outfit she had worn in one of the videos. The room parted and let her in, almost as stunned as others by her appearance. Alison looked incredible. Her hair hung straight and long, glistening like one of those stupid hair commercials. It was simple but worked with the dress. Her pale skin shone, accentuated by the rich black. I was bowled over. She saw me and smiled. “Hey there Caitlin. You look great.”

“So do you. Wow…that dress is incredible.” It really was. I didn’t have the figure to wear such a dress but I could dream about it, right? Right?

The wait wasn’t long and soon each group was being ferried to the respective Houses. We arrived at the House and the group of us entered. I had known that the girls had been working on getting the House ready for this, but I hadn’t expected to see all of the girls wearing formal gowns as well. Several of them had boyfriends with them, dressed in suits or tuxes. I was totally impressed. It was stunning. I mean, Nadia, Gwen…all of them looked awesome. It was like Prom only better.

We were ushered in and then the mingling began. It was like the semi-formal, except that there was alcohol this time. I sipped on some white wine; I think it was a White Zinfandel, so more of a pink really. It was good and sweet and tasted nice. I noticed that it loosened up some of the others fairly quickly and real conversation was beginning. It helped to get some of the more stilted parts of conversation out of the way. I guess this was a good way to get to know us, without people trying to be someone they weren’t. Kind of an odd use of booze, but if it worked…

Alison was talking to a number of people and again I was mostly alone. They knew me and I was a shoe in, so why would they need to talk to me. But it was lonely. I swept the skirt of the dress under me and I took a seat. I just smiled and watched everyone interacting. I wondered if all fifteen of the girls that were here would make it in. Maybe, maybe not. I really didn’t know any of the dynamics that went into choosing people to join. I guess, if I made it in I would find out.

“Hungry?”

I turned and smiled up at Meredith. She had a number of ham and Swiss mini quiches, with a good sized dob of what smelled like Dijon mustard, on a small plate. Her dress was a simple sheath dress that clung to her like a glove and made my heart flutter. If only we could skip out for a while. I shook my head, “Not really. Everyone looks so good.”

“Yeah. One of the reasons behind this is to see what people think of themselves. If you really make an effort then you think something different about yourself than the girl who doesn’t. It is a way to sort of check who has esteem issues, as well as just to have an excuse to wear these beautiful dresses.” Meredith twirled and her skirt flared out. She stopped spinning and smiled broadly at me. I felt a sort of tickling feeling as I sort of felt fuzzy with my love for her. Emotions had never really been my strong point but I had been learning a great deal more nuanced emotions since this whole thing had started.

She came over and plopped down and began eating her quiches, dipping each bite into the mustard first. It was starting to make me a bit hungry. Maybe getting something to eat wouldn’t be a bad idea. I mean…the food was there, right? One of the other girls from the group came over and took a seat at the table as well, breaking my stomachs chain of thought. “This is kind of crazy, don’t you think?”

“Crazy how?” I asked. I didn’t think it was crazy, I thought it was nice. Okay…my part in all of this was pretty damned crazy, but everyone elses?

“I mean…we shell out all sorts of money for these things and this is the best they could do for decoration?” She grumped.

I looked around quickly. The same decorations were there, it still looked like it had just a minute or so ago, so what the hell was she talking about. And given the time they had to get ready between each of the events it made sense to have simple decorations. “How do you mean? I think this place looks nice.”

“Well, Rush costs us several hundred dollars and so if you think about it there should easily be enough money to do better than twisted streamers and such. I mean the foods nice and all but I expected so much more. I wonder what they are doing with the money?” I looked at her confused. Rush cost money? Since when?

Meredith cocked her head quizzically at the girl, her rant definitely attracting Merri’s attention. It reminded me of how birds look at things they are curious about. It was cute and made some of her hair fall across her face. “So, you think all of that money went into things like decorations?”

“Didn’t it?” The girl was obviously sure that it did. She struck me like one of those authorities on everything.

“What about a number of other fees that might be needed, like to be able to have alcohol on campus, to print out a large number of things such as flyers, the various food being served and other items, make t-shirts, etc… What about those aspects?” Meredith wasn’t trying to be aggressive but there was an edge to her voice. I could tell she was starting to get upset. I guess attacking her House was never a good plan. Maybe I should derail this train in the station.

“Hey Meredith, want to come with me to get something to eat? My stomach has finally caught up with me.” I asked, trying to distract her.

“Hunh? Oh…sure.” She stood up and joined me as we walked away from the idiot. What was she doing, attacking something she was trying to join? Was she a bit mental?

Meredith was grumbling a little over the whole thing so I steered us over towards Nadia. Nadia took one look at Merri and headed over. Once my upset sweetie was safely in hand I headed over to grab some of the cucumber sandwiches. I don’t know why they were so good, but I just couldn’t eat enough of them and seeing Meredith’s food had awakened my stomach and had informed me that I had been negligent about a meal. Mea Culpa.

Alison came over and joined me at the buffet, getting a few cheese cubes onto a small plate. She certainly had less food on her plate than I did. “Having fun?”

“Yeah. I really like all the girls from this House that I have met so far. What do you think about them?” I wanted to know. If I was starting to get the hang of things, they were going to let her in the House, which would be so cool.

“There are some really nice girls here. I think I might like it here, if they let me in. Who knows? Thank you for being my friend, Caitlin. I don’t know if I would have stayed with this long enough to get to meet these girls if it hadn’t been for you. Thanks.” Alison hugged me. I admit that I started to get hard. I mean, come on, Amy Lee is hot and Alison reminded me of her. It was uncomfortable, getting hard while tucked and I recommend it highly to no one.

She let go of me and I looked over at the clock on the wall. It was over. I must have been sitting at the tables a lot longer than I had been aware of. I sighed, as a wave of exhaustion rolled over me. “Well, I guess we find out tomorrow if we make it in?”

She nodded and looked over at the clock as well. Our driver came into the House and called for us. The whole group of us all started drifting towards the exit in ones and twos. Soon I could make it home and get some sleep. I was tired and tomorrow seemed like it would be a fairly long day. It was almost over and that would be nice. The week had been too busy for me, with way too many emotional ups and downs.

I think I dozed off some on the way back to the University Center because I woke with a start as the van stopped. I looked around, slightly confused at the other girls. I realized where I was after a few seconds of confusion and that helped. The trip hadn’t been long, but apparently it had been long enough for me to fall asleep. It did look like I wasn’t the only one to be run down by events though. When me piled out of the van I stretched, hugged Alison goodnight and headed towards my car. What a night.

I struggled to stay awake as I was driving. I really did. I even had to pull over at one point and try to wake up some more. It took a while to get back to the House, but I did. I made my way up the back stairs slowly, after having slipped the heels off. My feet ached, I was exhausted and I wanted to get out of the dress. I think I was already mostly asleep when I took my make-up off and used the bathroom. I stumbled over to the bed and fell over. It took me a bit to make my way under the covers as long nightgowns are not good for wriggling in and so I had to adjust my nightgown afterwards.

Gwen wasn’t in her bed. This confused me and woke me up just a little. I tried to figure out where she could be but couldn’t. I realized that I hadn’t seen anyone when I had entered or anything. That kind of concerned me but I was definitely far too tired to care. They were big girls and could take care of themselves. And this was the House, really, what could happen in here?

Since I didn’t have a Meredith to cuddle with I grabbed my bear and cuddled with her instead. It was nice, as she was soft and furry and warm. I closed my eyes and let myself drift off. One more day…one more day and all the Rush stuff was over and done with and I could live a more normal life. That might be a good thing. I wanted to be able to wear jeans again, even though they now fit me very differently than my old ones. I could start wearing things other than skirts. Tomorrow would be a good end to this Rush thing and real life could happen.