I was spending Sunday afternoon, lying on my bed studying for the government exam early Monday morning. I was beginning to feel it was time for a break. I had a headache and I was having trouble focusing on the text in the book. My phone rang and I found it on the floor where it has fallen from my bed. On the screen it showed the caller was Brad. How does he do it? It seems he always calls when I need help, or comforting or just a distraction. Of course, it could just be that I was always in constant need of these things.

“Hey Brad!” I cooed into the phone. “Perfect timing!”

Brad laughed and said, “You must be a mess all the time.”

“That is an understatement!”

Brad said, “Hey, just real quick. I know we we’ve only known each other for less than a week, but my parents are going to this big society type party next Saturday and they want me to come, and they would like for you to come too. It’s an annual event called the Cannon Ball.”

“Are you serious? The Cannon Ball?”

“The Robert F. Cannon Foundation holds this event every year to raise awareness for various charities. All the local business and community leaders are invited and it’s all very posh.” Brad said as if he was reading it from a brochure.

“And your parents asked me to go? They’ve never met me. I mean, we’ve only had one date, a ride, and fight with a biker gang.”

“They want to meet you.” Brad said. “I probably talk about you every day.”

“Have you told them everything about me?” I asked.

“No. I have to admit that I left out the part that your Dad rides a Harley.”

Laughing, I said, “You know what I mean!”

Taking a more serious tone, Brad said, “Um, no, actually. They do need to know about…um…your…uh situation. I just didn’t think this was a good time.”

He couldn’t see me of course, but I frowned and said, “And when is a good time? This doesn’t give me warm fuzzies about our relationship.”

Brad said, “I know it sounds bad, but hear me out. I want them to meet you and get to know you as the great girl that I know. Once they know and love you, it’ll be easier to let them know.”

“Or totally piss them off for lying to them!” I shouted into the phone.

“What do you want me to say? ‘Hey Mom! I want you to meet my girlfriend…who also has a penis.’ That will go over great.” Brad huffed at me over the phone.

“Yes, it’s awkward. I don’t think there’s an easy way no matter how you do it. I just haven’t really considered meeting your parents. It’s kind of early for that.” I sighed heavily.

“I know. But they decided they wanted to meet you and thought you might want to come to the ball with me.”

“Well you know, you didn’t run for the hills when you first met me.” I said. “Why would your parents be different?”

Brad grunted. “They’re old. Set in their ways and all that. I’m worried that they’d reject you.”

“You need your parents’ approval to see me?” I asked.

“No. Of course not. But I want their blessing. I want them to like you.” Brad said, sounding uncomfortable.

“I’ll come to your party, Brad. But your parents need to know about me soon. I don’t want to lie to your parents and if they find out about me from some other source, it could mean disaster for our relationship.”

“I’ll tell them, but after the party.” Brad said. “Mom wanted me to let you know that the ball is formal. No cocktail dresses, but a formal. She said you’d know what that meant.”

“I don’t have a formal. I don’t even have a little black dress yet.” I said, wondering how much a formal would cost me.

“Maybe you can wear your old prom dress?” suggested Brad.

“I don’t have a prom dress, Brad.” I said with irritation. “I was a boy then. And I stayed home.”

Brad said, “Maybe what’s-her-name…your roommate Ashley?”

I laughed, “Somehow I can’t picture Ashley in a formal, but you never know. I’ll ask her.”

“Great! We’ll pick you up around six thirty Saturday night.” Brad said. “Thanks for saying you’ll come. I really appreciate it.”

“Okay. I need to get back to my studying. Talk to you later, Brad. Take care.”

Ashley laughed, jiggling several of her piercings. “I’m sorry girlfriend, but I don’t have a prom dress. In fact, I wasn’t allowed to come to our prom because I wasn’t allowed to bring my girlfriend at the time. And then, she was going to wear the dress. I had a tux rented.”

“Sorry.” I said. “I didn’t mean to dredge up bad memories.”

“Don’t worry about it, hun.” She waved her hand dismissively. “But I’m not sure what to say about Brad not telling his parents. I mean, he’s only known you a week. If he told his parents and then you could decide he’s a jerk tomorrow, he’s got his parents thinking he’s weird for no reason.”

“You’re a big help.” I said, irritated.

Ashley shrugged.

“Can you at least help me pick out a dress? I need a nice one that’s cheap.” I said, frowning.

Ashley laughed again saying, “I think you’d do better to ask the janitor to help you with all I know about dresses!”

I grabbed her wrist and started pulling. “At least you’re a girl. You were at least immersed in this world. I wasn’t. I can use your insight!”

Ashley sighs and gets up. ”I’ll go, but mostly to laugh at you”

“I thought Sharon said that dress store was right along in here somewhere,” I said from the passenger seat of Ashley’s car. Sharon was a senior that knew Ashley and had lived in town longer than either one of us.

Ashley pointed, “There it is…Francine’s Bridals. Crap, there’s no place to park.”

As we drove past the store, I looked at the large display window where several gorgeous gowns were on display. Ashley managed to park about half a block down from the store.

After a short walk, we open the door to an á¼ber feminine environment. Walls painted pink with white trim, flowers all over, beautiful satin dresses on mannequins and stands put me in girlie overload. Ashley was definitely a fish out of water here.

A smartly dressed woman in her mid-forties, her hair perfectly coiffed came up to us and while looking over the top of her glasses said, “May I help you…ladies?” I could tell the sales lady did not approve of Ashley at all. And maybe me, too.

“I’m looking for a dress to wear to a big formal event.” I said looking around at all the dresses surrounding me. They mostly appeared to be bridal gowns.

A momentary look of surprised crossed the saleswoman’s face as she said, “Oh. Are you referring to the Cannon Ball next Saturday?”

I smiled at her and said, “Good guess!”

The woman said, “Come with me, please to the evening wear section. I have several dresses that will be at that event.”

Ashley said in a dead pan, “Anybody wearing them?”

Ignoring the comment, the saleswoman turned to Ashley and said, “Will you be needing a dress as well… miss?”

Ashley snorted a laugh and said, “Um, that would be a no.” She pointed at me and said, “I’m just her body guard.”

The saleswoman just looked at Ashley for a few moments, and then turned her attention back to me. “Now on this rack we have some beautiful dresses that are popular with the younger set. None of these are floor length. They are hemmed above the knee and come in quite a few styles and colors.”

I pulled one from the rack and held it in front of me and said, “What do you think, Ash?”

She shrugged and said, “Meh. I’m sure you’d look nice in it. It just doesn’t have what I like to call, pizzazz!” She crossed her arms and leaned against the wall.

“How much is this?” I asked.

The saleswoman said, “All the dresses on these two racks sell for between two fifty and four fifty.”

“Dollars?” I gulped.

The saleswoman looked over her glasses at me again and said, “Our dresses, miss, are of the highest quality and made from the finest materials.” She was starting to get that “stop wasting my time” look on her face.

“I was only going to allow myself to spend up to $100” I said, meekly.

Not bothering to hide displaying some disdain, the saleswoman said, “The bargain dresses are in the back. Would you like to see them, miss?” She looked at her watch and frowned.

Ashley stepped away from the wall and said, “No she wouldn’t. Come on Alex. There’re other dress stores in town.”

I held up the dress to Ashley and said, “But I like this dress.”

“You can’t afford that dress. Let’s go.”

I handed the dress back to the saleswoman and waved at her as Ashley dragged me out of the store.

Ashley rushed us back to her car. I said, “I liked that dress. It was the first one I saw, and we could have saved some time.”

Ashley stopped a few yards short of her car. “Are you sure you’re a girl? Even I know you don’t buy the first dress you see. You make an adventure out of it. And besides, those dresses were way over-priced. Let me see your phone.”

Ashley took my phone and brought up the web browser on it. “Let’s see what technology can do for us,” she said.

After a few moments, Ashley said, “Ah. This looks good. Margie’s Fashions and it’s just down the street.”

We got into her car and off we went, using the GPS feature on my phone for directions.

As we were driving, I said, “What makes this place look better to you than the last place? They sell the same stuff.”

Ashley said, “It’s a gamble, like anything else. We have all afternoon. I just figured that if they’re off the beaten path a little, and they’re smaller, that they might be a little hungrier and not try to gouge as much. And I didn’t like that saleswoman.”

A few minutes later, we pulled up into the parking lot of Margie’s Fashions. It was located in a shopping center and was very easy to get to.

As we entered, a woman came over from behind the counter and said, “Good afternoon, ladies. I’m Margie. How may I help you?”

I looked around at the array of bridal gowns and prom dresses on display around the store. I said, “I’m looking for a formal dress for a big party I’m going to.”

The woman smiled and asked, “Oh, do you mean the Cannon Ball?”

I said, “Yeah. I’ve never been to it before.”

“Come back here and let’s see if we can fix you up!” She led us to racks near the back of the store. She turned to me and asked, “Are you excited? Everybody who is anybody will be there. It’s always such a wonderful event!”

She pulled a couple of dresses from the racks and held them out for me. “Take your time, hun. Buying a dress like this isn’t something you rush. What kind of budget do you have so we can find something in your range.”

I touched one of the dresses she was holding and sighed, “These are so beautiful!” Then I remembered her question and said, “I’m trying to stay within a hundred bucks if possible.”

“We can do that,” smiled Margie. “Let me bring out a few dresses of various prices. Then try them on. I bet we can find one you can’t live without! Do you have any idea what kind of dress you’re looking for?”

I shrugged and said, “I really don’t have any idea! I’ve never thought about a dress like these. Sorry!”

Margie said, “Now don’t you apologize! We’ll find you a dress if it takes all afternoon!”

In a few minutes, Margie had laid out ten dresses she thought would be good for my size. I noticed they were all long dresses and remembered what the saleswoman at the other store had said. “All these dresses have long skirts. Shouldn’t I look for a short skirt?”

“Oh no,” said Margie. “You want to be elegant! You want every head to turn when you walk in with your man. You don’t want to look like some teeny-bopper showing up at her prom. You want every man in the room to wish he was the man you’re with.” I looked for Ashley. She was off staring wistfully at a particular wedding gown.

Margie handed me a dress. “Here. Try this on so we can see how you look. If you don’t like any of these, I have more in the back. The dressing room is right over there.”

I thought, oh my God. I have no idea how to get into this. I called out, “Ash? Can you come help me with this?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah sure, Alex. Let’s see what you got.”

We went through four dresses, all gorgeous except for some small detail that either Margie or Ashley shook her head at before I was given a royal blue satin dress that fit so tight and smooth over my butt and around my upper thighs that it actually restricted my movement. It also fit so tight and flat across my front that if I hadn’t done an extra good tucking that morning, my birth defect would be making a guest appearance.

I walked out of the dressing room, taking small steps that forced my hips to sway. Ashley ran out before me and stood with Margie. When I exited, Margie was wearing a big smile and Ashley let out a low whistle.

Ashley’s eyes went wide as she said, “Oh my God, Alex. You are totally stunning! I’d like to take you to that ball myself!”

After a quick glance at Ashley, Margie smiled at me and said, “Just beautiful! That is your perfect dress!”

Ashley nodded and said, “And the way the neckline ties behind your neck hides the fact that you’re boobless.”

Margie laughed and said, “That’s why I didn’t show her anything strapless.” She stepped up to me and looked close and I hoped not too close. “Maybe a few adjustments, and it’ll be perfect.”

“Ash, do you really think so?” I asked. “Is this the one I should get?”

“You’re gorgeous, Alex. We could try on a few others to be sure, but babe, that dress was made for you!”

Then the big question. “How much is it?”

Margie looked studious for a moment then said, “That dress normally retails for one hundred thirty-five. For you, I’ll let you have it for a hundred and ten. No charge for the alterations.”

I turned back to Ashley and before I could form the question, she said, “Yes!”

“I’ll take it!” I said, gushing.

“I know you’re going to love that dress hun! I’ll have it ready for you to pick up Friday morning,” said Margie. “Now all you need are a pair of matching shoes. The shoes are along that wall over there.”

Still wearing the dress, I padded over in my bare feet to the where the shoes were displayed. I almost felt dizzy looking at them all. I was glad we still had most of the afternoon left…