College Girl
By poetheather
Chap 12

I was a little disoriented when I woke up. Everything looked different and I wasn’t sure where I was. I felt someone lying next to me, their body warm and semi-snuggled. I turned my head and saw Meredith. I smiled at that point and kissed her on the forehead. I think I was really in love with her. I think I had certainly proved that I would do anything for her. Meredith had been one of the main reasons I now looked like I did and was living the life that I was. But I also had to admit that, in a way, I was happy.

This being a girl thing was odd and definitely something a bit problematic in a number of ways, but it had gotten me a greater appreciation of women and one of my own. I just really didn’t like everything that had gone into this life. It took me so much longer to get ready now that it was annoying. My days of simply pulling on clothes to start my day were a thing of the past. With doing my hair, makeup and making sure my outfit matched I at least doubled or maybe tripled the amount of time it took to get out and about.

There was that and the fact that sitting down when I was tucked was a bit uncomfortable. It hurt, especially if I happened to get an erection. That really was uncomfortable, much more than an erection in a pair of tight jeans. And if only part of you came untucked and trapped by the band of the panties, the pain was intense. And sitting down to pee still felt weird. But it really hadn’t been that long and maybe I would get used to all of this soon, maybe. I was just worried about being able to return to me after all of this was over, would I even remember who that was?

Meredith woke up a bit as I sat up in the bed. She murmured something that I couldn’t quite make out. I ran a hand through the tangle of her hair and said to her softly, “Hush Meredith, just heading back to my room, so you don’t get into trouble.”

She nodded and fell asleep again. I left quietly; making sure no one was in the hallway and returned to my room. I was awake and there would be no use in trying to go back to sleep. The house was almost silent. I took out my journal and began to write about all of these developments and what I thought about them. Life had certainly gotten interesting.

Gwen walked into the room a few hours later looking tired from her trip back home. “Hey there girl. Been busy?”

I smiled at her. “Absolutely. Been a wild and crazy thrill ride for me. Why don’t you get all the dirt from Meredith? She can tell you all about my ‘first date’ and the other fun that has happened since you have been gone.”

Gwen’s eyes went wide and she smiled. “No way?”

I nodded. Gwen smiled broadly, scampered out of the room and headed towards Meredith’s room. At least this way I wouldn’t have to say anything myself. Besides, knowing Meredith, Gwen would probably hear more than I was willing to share. But it would be okay.

I grabbed my shower stuff and went in to get cleaned up. I used a deep conditioner on my hair and checked my legs. They were still smooth and I really was starting to like that. I toweled off and headed back to the room. Gwen was already back and bouncing on my bed, you could feel the excitement from her. I smiled at her and headed over to get my clothes. “Yes?”

“Yes? Yes? Is that all you have to say? Your first date, first kiss and all sorts of other fun. Arrrraagggghhh…I miss the best things. So am I going to hear all about it or what?” Gwen was wide eyed and talked quickly. She seemed really interested in everything that had happened to me since she left.

I chuckled. Gwen seemed really easy to wind up. “Meredith didn’t tell you everything? Really?”

“Now I gotta know. Spill it girl.” Gwen looked totally eager to hear everything. “You gotta tell me everything and don’t leave out any details. I really want to hear about all of this.”

I told her most everything, leaving out the information about Meredith and I, since I didn’t know if it was okay to mention it since Meredith had never said anything about it. Her eyes got round several times as I told her about dancing and Paul and she made me describe the kiss at least three times. I actually didn’t mind that but it was odd. I never expected to actually enjoy being kissed by another guy, which was somewhat disturbing. But then was I really a guy anymore?

That was actually a good question that ran through my head as I rubbed lotion into my legs. It felt good and the fact that my legs were smooth and soft pleased me. Did that make me a girl? How could it make me a girl? How could that make a girl a girl? I was simply a guy in a dress… wasn’t I? Hell, at this point was I even that? What made me a guy? What made Gwen a girl? Was it all biology or something else? What the hell?

I got dressed in shorts and a tank top, pulling my hair back into a pony tail after I had brushed it. Gwen had gone off to bug Merri about more details as I had started to get dressed. I wanted to do some reading today and thankfully it was one of my few days off at the house. Maybe I would go see Rebecca some time today as well? That might be fun. Besides I knew she would want to see how things had progressed. I hadn’t called her lately and I was sure she might be a bit out of the loop.

I talked to Meredith at breakfast and she said that she was going to give me a lift there after lunch. I thanked her and headed off to read. I curled up in a chair and read a magazine. I was starting to like some of the articles in these girl magazines and that also had me wondering, but now I was just going to read and not stress over these things. Right now I was me and I was where I wanted to be. I was actually enjoying myself and that was a different feeling.

By and large that was what was important. I was enjoying myself and that was a bit difficult to deal with. I knew I wasn’t the manliest of men but still there was something about a being a guy and wearing girl’s clothes and liking that. I wonder if that made me queer?

I folded up the magazine and sat there, looking out the window at the house letters on the front lawn. Given everything would I be a good sister of the house? Could I be a sister of the house if I hadn’t been born a girl? I guess next week would show me. Monday was the start of Rush week and that did make me nervous. That would be a different level of scrutiny than I had coped with. Everyone here knew what I was and accepted me. None of the girls trying to get in would know anything about me and I couldn’t let them know. I would do my best to keep from being found out but was I really good enough to do that?

* * * * * *

“I really do like the food here. This almost makes everything worth it.”

Meredith smacked me on the arm playfully. It didn’t really hurt, but she knew how to punch. “This makes it worth it?”

I smiled and winked at her. “Well, maybe some other things help out.”

She shook her fist at me playfully. “One of these days girl, I am going to get you.”

I giggled and looked down at myself. “I thought you already had.”

Gwen, Meredith and I all laughed at that. It really was good to have friends for a change. This was also a nice new thing and one that I was not really sure I wanted to give up. How could I stay a guy if my friends knew me as a girl? Would that even matter to them? Sometimes I was sure I thought too much.

After lunch I grabbed my purse and Meredith dropped me off at Rebecca’s apartment, since they didn’t want me to drive my own car for a while. I wasn’t really sure why, but I just shrugged and agreed. I walked up the stairs and down the hall to her room. She answered the door quickly and gave me a big hug as a welcome. I was surprised, as that was still going to take me some time to get used to from her. We had never been all that physical before. We had hugged a few times, but that was about it. But I did like it. “Hey there Caitlin. Come on in.”

I followed her inside what had been our apartment for the little bit of time I had been here. I sat on the couch and she walked into the kitchen. “Want anything to drink? I have some of the ice tea you like.”

“Yes please. Ice tea.” She made the best green tea and honey sun tea. I don’t know how she did it and she never wanted to tell me how it was made either. I could drink glass upon glass of this stuff, and I had on other occasions. That I was getting some really made me happy.

When she came out she handed me my glass and she sat down on the opposite side of the couch facing me. “So how have things been going over at the House, Cait.”

“Cait?” What was with the diminutive?

“Sure. As one of your oldest and dearest friends, it is my right to be able to give you a nickname or three. After all, we did both end up naked in the pool that one time.” Rebecca snickered at that.

“Becca, we were on opposite sides of the pool and I couldn’t see a thing past the other people skinny dipping with us. All I got was a clear view of Tim’s hairy back. Big freaking deal!” It was true. I had been staying the night over at Becca’s house and her mom had simply let it be known that we could go skinny dipping with a bunch of our friends. Her parents were a little odd. “How are your parents anyway?”

“Mom is good and told me to give you a big hug. Dad is really proud of you for getting into a sorority, by the way. He wants you to pinch someone’s butt in the shower for him. My mom smacked him for that but what can you do?” She leaned back into the couch and stretched her legs alongside mine.

I almost spit up my tea at that. “You told them?”

She looked at me as if I had just forgotten what planet we were on. “Duh…of course I told them. They were asking about you and I let them know what you were up to. They both want a current picture by the way. And they said you could come home with me anytime, just in case you forgot. You didn’t forget did you?”

I groaned. I wasn’t even sure if my mom knew and here was Becca telling me that her parents knew. Granted they were like a second set of parents for me but still. “I remember. But Becca, my mom doesn’t know yet.”

She sat bolt up right. “What!? Please tell me you are joking. You did all of this without letting your mom know? Are you mental?”

I bowed my head. I knew it hadn’t been very bright but what else could I do. “Becca, I just couldn’t tell my mom about this. I didn’t know what to say. It took everything I had to let you know and you knew this was going on.”

She nodded. “Okay. Good point. But you need to tell her.”

I looked up sheepishly. “I wrote her a letter.”

“Richard Michael O’Roarke! You did not write her a letter.” She looked shocked and a little bit angry at that.

“Well, what was I supposed to do, call her? You certainly have noticed that my voice has changed through all of this. Just how could I explain all of this?” I looked at her plaintively. I really was at a loss here.

“Rich, just tell her like you told me. What you are doing is honoring your word and getting a very different education out of this. What is so bad about that? If you have any problem I can have my folks talk to her. Your mom at least deserves to hear from you and not from a fricking letter.” I bowed my head. I guess I really did need to call Mom and explain all of this to her personally. I just hated it when Becca talked all logical and made sense. It was so hard to argue with her.

“Okay. Can I use your phone? I don’t think I can do this without you.” I was really nervous. I really hated the thought that I might upset my mother. She was all the family I had left.

She hugged me again. “Of course.”

She got the phone and sat down next to me. I dialed the number and then held onto her hand as the phone rang. I was really hoping for my sake that my mom wasn’t home. But I guess I wasn’t that lucky. “Hello? O’Roarke residence.”

I swallowed, hard. This was going to be hard to do. “Hi Mom.”

“Richard? What’s wrong with your voice?” She sounded confused. I couldn’t blame her.

“It’s fine, just a part of something I got involved in.” I hoped vague would work, but Becca poked me in the ribs.

“Really? Club activities starting before school starts?”

“Uhm…not really. Do you remember my dislike of exclusive clubs?”

Her sigh was loud and filled with maternal exasperation. I figured that she could start to see where this was going. I mean, it wasn’t like I hadn’t done things like this before. “Richard, what did you do now?”

“I…um…I joined a Sorority.” The words barely came out and Becca squeezed my hand in support.

There was a long pause on the line. My mom’s voice was stern when she started up again. “Richard Michael O’Roarke…what in the name of Hades is going on?”

I gulped. This was not going well. This was why I didn’t want to call. “Uhm…well, you see…I kind of joined a Sorority, to…kind of…make things more equal. But they out smarted me. I could join so long as I could bring honor to the house and follow their dress code. So that’s where I am right now.”

I could hear her start to snicker. She definitely seemed amused by the whole situation. “They outsmarted you, that’s for sure. How are they dealing with the whole guy in a dress thing?”

“Uh…well, in order to let me in I agreed with them that I didn’t want to make them a laughing stock, so I agreed to…that is…to…uh…look like a girl.” When she started laughing, I flinched away from the phone.

“Richard, sweetie, why didn’t you simply say no?” Her voice was calm and filled with humor. Maybe this wouldn’t be that bad after all?

“Because I gave them my word that I was serious about joining the Sorority. It was a point of honor. You know how I am about my honor.” I got a little testy at that. I wasn’t a total idiot. I knew that I could have quit, and at any time but I had given my word.

Again she sighed. “You are so like your father sometimes. He was also so very stiff necked about his honor. So is that why you sound like a girl?”

“Yes mom.”

“And you wear dresses and skirts and everything?” she asked, trying to get a full and complete picture of things.

“Yes mom.”

“Hand the phone over to Becca, dear.” I goggled. Give it to Becca? But why?

Becca had obviously heard that and plucked the phone from my hand. “Hi, mom.”

All I could hear was one side of the conversation, but it really wasn’t making me feel any better. Maybe calling from Becca’s apartment was a bad idea.

“…No, I had nothing to do with this. It was all his idea. … Yeah, that is what he wears. He looks just like a girl. … No, he looks really pretty. … They are nice girls. They are really trying to take care of him. He told me that he is going to have tutors and everything, you know to help his grades. … I know, but I never felt like joining. … Yes, I can try again in the Spring. …Oh, because I know he will forget, his name is Caitlin. … It is really a pretty name. And he is very cute. … Yes I will send pictures. I already told my mom that I was going to send her one. … Sure. They said to call them if you needed to talk. …will do. I love you to mom. Here’s Caitlin.” Becca handed me the phone and smiled at me. It was her evil smile and I wasn’t all that comforted by it.

“Yes mom?” I was a bit worried.

“This is a bit crazy Rich, but if you got yourself into this and don’t want to get yourself out, then I have no real objection. I will try to call you Caitlin as this goes on. And could you give me the number for the Sorority?”

“All that information is in the letter I wrote you.” My voice was a bit shaky. At least she wasn’t completely freaking out about this. But was this reaction any better? Why was she so freaking calm? Her being calm was sorta freaking me out.

“Okay. Becca made you call then. Caitlin, I love you, however you are dressed. I have been worried since you hadn’t called. Keep in touch. I might just be able to help.” said my Mom.

“I will mom. I am sorry I didn’t call earlier, but it has been really crazy and I have barely had time to relax. Rush week starts on Monday and then school starts. I will get better with the whole calling thing.” I was a little embarrassed about the whole not calling thing now. How did she manage to make me feel guilty so easily? Must be a mother thing. “I love you.”

“I love you to. Now have a good time and take care.” She hung up the phone and I felt a great weight lift off of my shoulders. The relief must have been obvious.

“Feel better Cait?” asked Becca quietly.

I nodded. I felt like I was going to cry. My mother loved me, despite my doing something this stupid and life altering. “Yeah. I was just so worried about what she was going to say. You know?”

“Please. She totally loves you and all your dumb habits. But I can understand the worry.” She leaned over and gave me another hug. “So…now that we have that out of the way…what’s really going on?”

I swallowed and told her all about Meredith and Paul and the kiss and the everything. She goggled a bit a few times, especially when I admitted to kissing Paul. She smiled at the girlfriend thing as well.

“Wow…just wow. Cait, you have really gotten into this whole girl thing. So, did you like kissing him?” She was bouncing a little on the sofa. What was it with girls and bouncing?

I blushed and then she squealed excitedly. “Really? That is so cool. It sounds to me like you are having a lot of fun. And Meredith didn’t mind that you were kissing some guy?”

“Probably not, since she was the one who set me up with him. Paul is gay and apparently he is one of the only people outside of us that knows about me. Al doesn’t even know and he is Paul’s friend. I still don’t know how she managed to set that up. Merri is odd, you know?” I was fairly certain that Meredith didn’t mind me kissing Paul after all she had shown me how much she had liked the idea last night. I shivered in memory.

“What?” She cocked an eyebrow at me. She had always been able to read me like a book.

“Just remembering last night, with Meredith.” I blushed again.

“Sigh…my bestest girlfriend in the whole world finally gave up her virgin status. Oh how the angels must weep.” She played it for all of its melodramatic worth.

I smacked her lightly on the arm. She grinned at me. “I really am happy for you. It is odd though that things really seem to be taking off for you now that you are a girl, when they hadn’t been before. It’s odd.”

“Yeah. It is a little depressing to think I have more friends now, as Caitlin than I ever had as Richard. They like me, ask me to come do things with them and everything. It is almost enough to give a person a complex.” It was odd but I didn’t really mind things too much. There were a lot of benefits to this whole thing and very few of them involved seeing naked girls. Not that naked girls were a bad thing.

“Well, why don’t you avoid that one? You really don’t need another complex. So, since it is obvious that you like this whole girl thing, are you going to stay like this? You know after school?” She asked carefully.

I sat there and drank my iced tea as I tried to figure out the answer. I had thought about it but I hadn’t really come to a definite answer and four years were a long time. So much could change in that time that could easily effect my decision. “I just don’t know. I don’t think I want to be like this forever, but I know that I agreed to do this for four years. That is a long time and I may forget how to be Richard after all that time. So I’m scared.”

“Well, what if you quit after this semester?” It was a good question.

“I don’t know. What if I am still having a lot of fun? What if I can’t bear to part with these new friends? I mean, you are about my only real friend and now I am getting more. That will be tough to pass up. I don’t want to lose them if that is the price of turning back. I just don’t know.” She was nodding, as if agreeing with my points.

“Whatever happens Caitlin, Richard, I will always be your friend and I will always stand by you. You are my best friend and I love you.” We hugged again after that. This hugging thing was nice and I liked it. This girl thing did have a few perks. “So what do you want to do? I have some movies, or we could go to the mall or what?”

“Uhm…anything good?” There were just some films of hers that I could barely handle. Sometimes art films were a bit too much and I had really learned to speed read subtitles. But you could only put up with so many foreign films before your head exploded.

“Sure. I have a few foreign films and a couple of good romantic comedies. Everything else you have seen already.” She smiled happily. “That is unless you want to see something you have already seen?”

“Let’s go to the mall. I have seen plenty of chick flicks and I don’t want to watch any more foreign films for a while now. They don’t make any sense.” I retorted.

“Humph…film snob.” She turned her nose up in the air and turned away from me.

I stood up and grabbed my purse. “So, are we going or what?”

Becca laughed and grabbed her purse. We got down to her car and sped off to the mall. We didn’t really do too much while we were there, mostly window shopped, but Becca did talk me into getting a friendship necklace with her. We split the parts and each did the clasp for the other. That really made me happy. The two heart parts were neat and for some odd reason it did make me feel closer to Becca than before.

Of course, I did end up with more jewelry, mostly earrings, because Becca really loves them and wanted me to join her in her obsession with dangly things. I still am not sure how I got talked into all of those but some of them were definitely pretty. I called it quits after six pairs but she went on and picked up ten pairs of dangly things. They were nice but not that nice. I mean, I know earring are just some sort of decoration, but how many different ways were there to decorate the ear with pokey bits and dangly bits?

We did find some nice shoes and I bought a few pairs for Becca. They were nice and I did want to do something nice for her. I had the money for it and I could tell that she loved them, especially the boots. However that got her into dragging me into a perfume aisle. After a short while it got so overpowering that we both had to leave. The scents had all battled with each other and the jumble of scents was giving me a headache. I didn’t even know what I smelled like anymore, with all those testers sprayed onto me. Bleah!

She even indulged me and we played a few video games at the arcade. That was a nice break, even if I got beat a few times in some of my favorite games. It was nice and we even played Dance Dance Revolution a few times. It was a lot of fun, even though we weren’t as good as some of the people there, doing tricks and dancing on both pads at once. It was crazy.

We both decided to pick up some food from the food court for dinner and that was great. I got some Greek food and she got some of the fake Mexican. We each shared a few bites as she loved falafel and I liked chimichangas. She also had some salsa and between that and the hummus we ate our fill. We cleaned our plates and sat back and sighed in contentment. I had missed this.

This day had really been nice and relaxing and I liked that. With very few exceptions it was almost like every other trip to the mall with Rebecca had ever been. Thankfully, we hadn’t managed to get kicked out of this one. I still ribbed her about it and she still protested her innocence.

Becca dropped me off at the house and I went upstairs with my bag of loot. The day had been really pleasant, even the phone call to my mom. When I got to the room Gwen was waiting for me, looking worried.

I put down my bags and looked at her, trying to figure out what could be wrong. “Gwen, what’s up?”

“Caitlin, there is a problem.”