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The Working Girl Blog #10:
Learning to dress in "business casual," or Girl clothes are fun, but I miss pockets - The new meaning of VPL To see all of Bobbie's "Working Girl" blogs, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/19261/working-girl-blogs |
Be warned - nothing major happened today, so today's blog will just be a lot of folderol about nothing. Hope you aren't too disappointed.
I was a little sleepy at work today - blame Pip and Mel over in the chatroom. (just jokin', girls!). I was chatting with them until close to three am, hence Bobbie Sleepyhead.
Anyway...
After a long discussion about my see-through desk in the chatroom last night, I decided to wear pants today (or "trousers" for Mel and her European cohorts :-) I understand that "pants" mean underwear or something like that over there).
Also, I decided to not wear a suit - just business casual.
Like most everyone, I have ideas about what "business casual" meant, but nothing specific. So I emailed our department secretary last night via blackberry, asking if the company had any specific rules about it. She emailed back in the morning (which I read just before getting ready). Seems most anything is okay, but there were a few absolute no-no's: jeans, rubber shoes, flip-flops and shorts were obvious. Less obvious were collarless shirts for men; for women no plunging necklines or strapless tops, and the shortest hemline allowed is above-the-knee. And if you have a meeting with a client, you had to wear business clothes. Sammi said that most managers have a change of clothes in their offices handy, in case they have to meet with clients.
I don't like Mondays because, aside from being a Monday, Mondays were when I do my weekly. After finishing up the slightly messy routine using the medium one (regardless of what my therapist says, it takes MORE than 10 minutes to do it properly), I did my usual morning ablutions, makeup and hair, and got dressed in a pair of fawn-colored slacks, maryjane-type heels and a simple powder-pink blouse. I decided to follow the example of the other managers and put my one "utilitarian" pinstripe suit with the fitted slacks, and a pair of pumps in a wardrobe bag, and skedaddled. (I think most know what I mean about "utilitarian" - those kinds of clothes that look okay but not too dressy, and are made out of materials and colors that take or hide dirt and stains well)
When I got to my little office, I put my new little round electric fan and little desk lamp on my table, hung up the wardrobe bag in the tall cabinet (there was a hook in there which seemed designed for a hanger, although I had to hop a little to hook it on 'coz it was set a little high) and positioned my new leather blotter with the electronic clock-and-calendar embedded at the top edge. (Yes, someone said blotters are passé, but I decided to get one, still.) I also conveniently put my little trolley-backpack underneath the table in front of my feet. Et voila! See-through desk problem solved!
Anyway, the business-casual thing: it backfired a bit. Although maybe three-fourths of the people in the other teams were in business casual, maybe ninety percent of my guys were in suits or dressy outfits. I don't know, but maybe the guys noticed that I was more formal on Mondays and decided to wear suits today...
When Sammi came in for our morning meeting to talk about her duties, at least she was in casual, too. That made me feel better. She had the office manager with her though, plus some guy who volunteered to be cameraman today. Apparently they were taking the project team picture today, and no one told me... Maybe that's why the guys were in suits.
So there I was in the picture, sitting in front in my pink blouse and fawn slacks, with my team towering behind me, standing in suits and ties, all with big smiles. Talk about not blending in... I forced our department secretary to join us (she was part of the team, too, after all) and she stood a bit shyly to the side, in the front row.
Thing was, I heard some mumbling about my clothes. So during lunch, I took down my wardrobe bag (had to hop up and down a few times to snag the hanger) and changed into my pinstripes in the ladies. Some of the girls asked why I changed clothes. Most knew I had no meetings scheduled so I decided to be up-front and told them that since most were not in office-casual, I decided to change.
Later on that day, I made sure to mention in casual conversation with my team of three as well as the team leads of the other teams (my "jogging partners"), that I would be in business casual tomorrow, trusting in the office grapevine to spread the word. This way, I wouldn't be at fault for any choices in attire. Just in case.
All this hullabaloo about clothes... But ya does whats ya gots ta do...
I like girl clothes. Sure they're fun, and they look nice, but more than anything, they feel nice - the materials are always softer, and even tight outfits don't feel uncomfortable since there's a lot of stretch in most girl clothes.
Thing is, girls pants don't really have pockets. Oh, sure, they're there, but they're not really useable. Did you ever try putting your hand in the back pocket of a girl's pants? You can't even get your entire hand into one 'coz they're so small and shallow. Good luck getting a wallet in there. Girls' pockets are just there for show. First thing I learned, actually, even ahead of how to manage bras.
I guess that's one thing I miss from my guy days - working pockets! that's why girls carry around purses 'coz their pockets don't work. Girls will never know the convenience of pockets - having your wallet or your car keys with you all the time; having a convenient little cubby where you can put in your change, your comb, or your breath mints.
But the advantage of girls is that we DO carry purses and bags, and they can be BIG bags if they want, and are fashion accessories as well (I love my big Burberry hobo bag). Those that make fun of messy girls' bags are just jealous. Girls have so many ways to accessorize, and what do guys get? Watch? Tie? A montblanc pen? I got lots, plus my mobile pocket, otherwise known as a purse.
But back to pockets.
The reason why women's pants pockets are like that are obviously because of fashion. Women's clothes have to be close-fitting and all that. Case in point - they are so close-fitting, everyone's so worried about VPL - the dreaded "visible panty line."
A momentary change of topic here to talk about VPL - I don't understand why it's such a big deal, really. Wear a thong. Sure, those with a prurient streak, or a nasty turn of mind will have a lot to say about thongs, but a girl can wear one and not let anyone know she's wearing one (except for the fact that she doesn't have a VPL). And they're surprisingly comfortable, too.
Now, back to pockets.
I suppose big "working pockets" won't be able to make the smooth-n-sexy look possible. And if there were pants with usable pockets, imagine how unsexy it is to see a girl with a back pocket bulging with a wallet, or a bumpy front pocket filled with keys and change.
I have a few pairs of pants, though, that have working pockets, but cargo pants are hardly sexy.
Visible panty lines are not a problem, at least not anymore. What's problematic are people who want functional pockets yet want to be fashionable. Visible Pocket Lines - that's the new VPL.
Hmmm. It's about 5PM already. Time to stop all this writing foolishness, get this posted and go home. It'll be real good to take a nap right about now.
To see all of Bobbie's BCTS blogposts, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/bobbie-c
To see all of Bobbie's stories in BCTS, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/14775/roberta-j-cabot
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Comments
Business Casual
Just so you know where I'm coming from … I transitioned in job four years ago and work for a multinational software house.
Our office is generally business casual, apart from when we are seeing clients and then it depends on the relationship with the client. I learnt very quickly that in my position to always come in on the smarter side of business casual. That way if I need to attend an unexpected meeting, I don't have to change – there often isn't time to change if I'm called into a meeting that’s already in progress.
Karen
I guess
I guess you're right, Karen - what you suggest is a very logical thing to do. But, for now, being the new girl, I think it's best to do what the other managers are doing. Besides, since they've been in the company longer, they may know something I don't, like maybe unscheduled or spur-of-the-moment meetings don't happen often. I guess I'll have to find out.
For all of Bobbie's "Working Girl" blogs, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/19261/working-girl-blogs
For all of Bobbie's blogposts, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/bobbie-c
For Bobbie's stories in BCTS, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/14775/roberta-j-cabot
The Working Girl Blog #10: Learning to dress in "business casual
Bobbie, I never know what you will blog about, which makes it a fun read as well as the subject. Have you thought about the fact that you are a trens setter at work?
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Were you overdressed in Minneapolis?
I don't know if you noticed it in MN, but what you're describing as business casual is the dressiest that I see some of my coworkers in St. Paul. Yeah I work in the lab and the office people are generally a little dressier, but some people I work with take casual to a whole new level. I was wearing Dockers and a pretty typical, but new, button up shirt a couple weeks ago and someone asked me if I had a job interview! Yikes! I've heard that you should always dress like the people in the next level that you would like to be promoted to, so that's what I shoot for. I'm afraid that if ever I did transition I'd always be way overdressed compared to the other women in the lab.
And Bobbie, you bring back my longing to be able to carry a purse to work. As Alison it is so second nature, and as Al the pockets aren't big enough!
I was, a little bit
I think we were a bit overdressed when we got there. But we weren't unduly singled out for being so. The following day, the guys dressed down a lot more, but for me, I think I went a bit overboard with the outfit. Guess I was trying to impress Texas Girl...
I guess people here are a little dressier, but the way people dress is partly a reflection of where you are, not anything that the company requires. Maybe over there, people are more laid back, hence the mode of dress is more casual.
If you ARE getting some bags or purses as Alison, try an look at Burberry's line. Pretty chic and snazzy but not too expensive, unlike Armani. My hobo bag's big enough for me, but Burberry's line of totes are pretty big (try and go for a slouchy - they have even more room, but they're not as stiff, so if you have stuff you don't want folded or wrinkled, don't go for the slouchy tote).
For when you're Al, there are lots of great looking backpacks, even some that are specifically designed with laptops in mind. Take a look at Lacoste, or if you don't mind too formal, try Samsonite. Both have very durable and rough-n-tumble models, and stylish, too. Hey, if you're a guy, it doesn't mean you HAVE to rely on pockets only.
For all of Bobbie's "Working Girl" blogs, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/19261/working-girl-blogs
For all of Bobbie's blogposts, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/bobbie-c
For Bobbie's stories in BCTS, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/14775/roberta-j-cabot
I think we need to try harder.
Maybe I am all wrong. If I go into a social situation that does not involve my riding my bike. for me it is almost always a floor length skirt, long sleeve top and the ever present Hijab. I pay a lot of attention to colors and try very hard to coordinate. People often say that I have wonderful color sense, and writing this, I realize that I often do not complement other women I'll be sure to be trying to improve that. Mostly, women's relationships feel to me to be much warmer and colaborative. I never did well in relating to men, and may never have a relationship with one. However, I think that has less to do with my being T than the abuse that some have visited upon me.
Pants, especially Levis or other heavy pants, are so uncomfortable for me, however, recently I found that Nurses pants are tolerable.
Just remember, you are the boss. You should always set an example for your people. :)
Much peace
Gwen
I'll have to check out the Burberry line
I think people around here are generally more relaxed in their clothing and demeanor. But sometimes I like to dress up and look a little more girly without feelign out of place. My first thought when you mentioned the miniskirt was that you certainly would get noticed around here. But then maybe that was the point. ; )
One other funny thing happened today. A coworker who is in the know about Alison had a job interview today. She is really sweet, but hates dressing up. She wore her best outfit, something I would wear everyday, but had to borrow a pair of my shoes. They were just simple black dress pumps with a low heel, but we both had a good laugh about it. A year ago neither of could have pictured a situation like that. Being trans does lend itself to some amusing situations.
I found a place called Lillian's Shoppe in St. Paul. It is kind of an unusual arrangement in that they are open Thursday-Sunday one or two weekends each month. They had some really cute bags and they didn't bat an eye when I bought a slouchy brown and black purse as Al when they had a stand set up at my company (in another building) last February. The amusing thing was the giant hot pink reusable shopping with 'EcoDiva' on the side that they placed their customers' purchases in. That got me a few looks! Hehe! Glad it's a big company and I was on the other side of campus.
As Al, when I need to carry more than my hands will allow I use a bag I got from a MN fairtrade coffee roaster. They take the burlap sacks that the beans come in and send them to a program for developmentally disabled adults. They sew them into bags with fabric remnant linings. They are all different. Mine is pretty cool with the name and image from a Hawiian coffee grower and a beautiful floral inside lining, but I really like my wife's. Hers has a beautiful woman in a long colorful dress, perhaps a flamenco dancer. I think that I may have gotten a few looks in the past, but with the trend in reusable bags noone notices anymore. And besides, having a wife and kids are the perfect cover at work. (If only I actually wanted cover!)
It's been "instructional"...
reading your blog, and perhaps seeing myself in a few months (I'd love it that soon) or a year or maybe a bit longer... Business casual has always been a contentious area in many firms, as the definition certainly DOES vary from firm to firm. As Karen suggested, erring on the more "formal" side is generally safer.
Not having transitioned yet (no, I REFUSE to cry!) I can't say how I did that, but I can say what I've observed by the other girls at work, as well as the much larger proportion of guys... A lot of it's background, but not all. I've known some in management that are just plain sloppy. (In one case, after we won the work and I was on site, I was taken aside by the CIO and told we almost lost it because of how sloppy our division manager was. Yes, he had a suit on. But when the shirt tail is pulled out - all the time, and there's stains on it and it looks like he slept in his jacket...)
In the past three years, I've only had one client where I needed to actually wear a Suit jacket. A few more where Ties were required (Whoever invented those things that lock the heat inside the shirt next to the body... Must have been the same person that said pantyhose are good summer attire in New York City!). There was one, where ties were required above the 15th floor, and strongly discouraged below that level. All that said, that's MEN's attire. The more professional (& successful I might add) ladies almost always at least STARTED a step more formal than the guys did. After a while, the ladies were able to reduce their formality to about the same level as the guys.
Now, for those that were more junior (folks that work in the trenches as it were), I've seen very little difference in attire when business casual is suggested. Though, even when wearing comparable clothing, the ladies seemed to manage to color coordinate their outfits better, and have fewer wrinkles in blouses, etc. As always, there were and are exceptions.
Your thought to check with the assistant was a good one. Assuming she's been around the firm a while, she probably knows anything that needs knowing (as demonstrated). She can also make you look good - or bad (yes, I've seen a manager sabotaged, though the guy deserved it.)
Thanks again for posting this blog!
Annette
A big dose of Bobbie
This blog with the cute pictures kept popping up on my machine until at last I had to take a look inside. Now I've read all the Working Girl blog and (sigh!) I'm hooked. What great real-life stories you tell, Bobbie! I look forward to my daily dose from now on. Hugs, Daphne
Daphne
I'm good aren't I?
I'm good, aren't I? And humble, too! Heehee.
Just jokin! Pip and Aunt Andrea will tell you I'm as big a glory hound as anyone here, so I appreciate your kind words ;-)
Thank you Daphne, but my day-to-day existence isn't as interesting as all that. It's just a matter of putting the most humdrum of things in a way that I'm able to interject something personal. I mean, pockets? How's that interesting?
Aunt Andrea and I were chatting last night, and I told her I was worried that I would run out of stories to tell, or at least stories that people here in BCTS would want to read about. Hopefully you'll still be around when I'm reduced to writing about my latest meal or the latest ballpoint pen I bought at the bookstore.
Thanks again!!
- Bobbie-the-humble-blogger
For Bobbie's blogposts, click this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/bobbie-c
For Bobbie's "Working Girl" blogs, click this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/19261/working-girl-blogs
For Bobbie's stories in BCTS, click this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/14775/roberta-j-cabot