Intro by Carla Ann

“Tiffany, I’ve asked you how everything is going with people and the activities you’re involved in, but you haven’t mentioned how you are coping with everything.” She emphasized the ‘you,’ when she asked that.

“Well, better than I was last year,” I started. “Way better than last year… I have a lot of friends now, and I’m not getting picked on every day.” I saw her eyes boring into me looking for something else. “Alright, I don’t know how I’m doing right now.” I told her honestly.

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“Well for one I’m really tired of everyone guessing I’m five if I wear the wrong clothes.” I told her hesitantly. I was sure my parents had filled her in with everything anyway, “Tuesday was pajama day. Mom and I had found some cute pajamas with feet on them that would fit Amy and me, so we wore them for pajama day. We really did look cute dressed like that, and I was having a lot of fun with it. That was until the sub in English class thought that I was someone’s little sister that had come them to school that day.”

I was really surprised Dr. Reynolds didn’t laugh about it, but I continued, “Then the next day the whole squad was wearing shortalls and our hair done in pigtails and I looked to be about five again. One of my best friends even brought a doll to school to play a joke on the sub that we’d had. I don’t think she knew that it really upset me though. I’m not five, I’m twelve! Amy has grown about five inches here in the last couple months, but I’m still the same height I was last year. It’s good for cheerleading stuff because people can toss me so easily… but…” I was doing my best to not go into tears over all of this. “as long as we’ve got my puberty stopped then I won’t be doing much growing. That’s all on top of the fact that I’m never going to be able to have periods like my friends… and I’m stuck with this stupid thing between my legs,” I told her with a great deal of exasperation. “I’m so tired of having to look at it, or hide it, every time I turn around. I know you can’t do anything about it till I’m eighteen – but I wish it could be gone now!” I had gone to tears now.

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Viewing Note: This story should be viewed with the Edwardian Script ITC font installed on your Windows platform in the c:/Windows/Fonts directory. Microsoft Word installs this font automatically.

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The Legal Stuff: Dreaming of Cheers  © 2010 By Tiffany Shar
 
This is a work of fiction. Names, Characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Copyright  © 2010 By Tiffany Shar. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission.
 
 
Preface
 
 
It’s been a long road to publishing this third book in my Standing Up to Life Series. I began writing the first book over two years ago, putting the first two books out in a quick succession of six months work. The third book became more challenging to finish as I had set my sights on only writing a trilogy. I declared myself finished last August, but found myself unhappy with the ending. Well seven months later I feel this is ready to give to you, my readers, and I hope you will enjoy it. It has not gone on the track I had expected, and indeed there will probably be at least one more book following this in order to complete Tiffany’s story. I hope you will find that your wait has been worth it.

Like the first two books I posted here, I will be posting a full copy here on BigCloset. This time I am going to upload two chapters per week to the site. The full version should be completely posted by August. For those that cannot wait however, I have an e-book version of the full book available from Lulu.com as of today. You may find it at My Store. My assumption is that the majority of my readers would be more interested in this edition of the book rather than a hardback or paperback. If you enjoy this work perhaps you will consider supporting me by purchasing it ($5.95 for the eBook).

Thanks again, and I hope you enjoy reading Dreaming of Cheers!

 

Chapter 10:

 
“WAKE UP PRINCESS,” Mom said to me as she prodded me that morning.

“Ughh… I hate mornings, let me go back to sleep.” I told her sleepily.

“Fine then we won’t go shopping.” She told me.

“Shopping?” I said aloud, while thinking ‘Oh that’s right, we’re supposed to go shopping.’

“But if you don’t want to go…”

I just jumped up and ran into the bathroom to take a shower. As I was washing my hair I realized that I had forgotten to grab clothes… oops! But as soon as I opened the shower curtain I could see my Mom had foreseen my forgetfulness… She’d put a pair of jeans, a sweater, and underwear in the bathroom already. I smiled at that. She’d saved us both a lot of time that way, although I might have chosen a different sweater.

I noticed she didn’t put out one of my training bras out though. I guess it wouldn’t matter today. I’d been looking at my chest every day from when I had started taking the hormones, right up until last week when I’d forced myself to stop doing it out of frustration. There just hadn’t been any growth as far as I could tell. It wasn’t worth going back to my room to find one.

I spent some time making my hair look pretty, put some earrings in, put on the necklace that Amy’s parents had given me (and her), added some lip gloss, and then headed out the door of the bathroom. By the time I got my shoes on it was already time to go…

“Are you ready yet?” she asked me.

“Almost, I just need to grab my purse…” I told her as I ran back to my room and grabbed it. “Okay, let’s go,” I said as I put on a coat and barreled out the door ahead of her.

She just shook her head at me, unlocked my door, and then went around the side to her door and we headed off to town. Mom knew me well enough that I should have something to eat before we started, so we grabbed a quick breakfast at McDonalds on our way to town.

“Where to first?” I asked.

“Well I think Penney’s might have some backpacks still that we could look at,” she suggested.
“Okay.”

With that the two of us drove on to the mall and began going through JC Penney’s. We found another purple backpack that was similar to the one I’d had. It wasn’t completely the same; it had some pink trimming to it, but it would work. “Are you happy with this one?” Mom had asked me as we went to the check out.

“I guess —it’s not like there was a lot of choices there, or anywhere else for that matter.” I told her. I thought maybe she would say more about it but she just nodded and we got the bag.

“Where to next?” She asked me.

I shrugged my shoulders, “Let’s just wander,” I suggested.

She smiled at me and nodded. We did run the backpack back to the car real quick, since I didn’t want to haul it through the mall, before starting our walk through the mall. We stopped at a number of stores on our way down the first floor. There were a lot of stores that had some really cute outfits for juniors. I found a lot of really cute outfits to wear, but like normal I just was too short and flat chested for any of it to look good on me. I really was still better off with the girls’ sizes.

“This isn’t fair,” I told Mom as we walked into Dillard’s.

“Sweetie, it’s not going to last forever. The hormones are starting their work, just like they are with your friends. It’ll happen before you know it,” She told me as she had her arm around my shoulders and hugged me.

“I want it now,” I told her.

“I know sweetie, but until then can I at least enjoy having my little girl be little?” She asked me.

“Umm… I guess.” I told her. ‘What’s she getting at?’ I wondered to myself.

“Well then… I’ve gotten to see you in some pretty dresses… but I’ve never gotten to see my daughter in a holiday dress before.” She said with a smile.

I thought I could see where this was going. I fought the urge to be upset at the moment. I thought there was going to be more looking like a five year old in my future… But Mom was right; I might as well make her happy as her ‘little’ girl as long as stuff hadn’t started working yet. Plus, I could have fun being a pretty girl, even if I did look little. A smile came to my face too at that point and I said, “Okay, but I do have final say on what we buy alright?” I told her.

“Of course,” she said with a smile.

With that we were in the girls section looking through the holiday dresses that had just arrived recently. There were so many of them, and I had to admit I was curious to see how the velvet would feel. I’d always kind of wondered about how stretchy it would be and everything. So in short I became just as excited as her! We looked through the racks and I ended up taking seven dresses in my size back to the dressing room. The first one I tried on was the one I was most excited to try. It had a black velvet bodice and a red satin skirt, with a beaded overlay.

I slipped it over my head and pulled it down before calling Mom in to help me tie the ribbon into a bow. “Mom, can you tie this for me please?” I asked her.

“Sure,” she said as she came into the changing room. I turned my back to her and watched in the mirror in front of me as she tied the ribbon into a bow. She was smiling brightly and seemed to be enjoying herself. I smiled too, I looked pretty. As I looked at the dress in the reflection I noticed something, there were actually tiny bumps coming out of my chest! I could see them, I was sure they were bigger than I remembered when I gave up looking last week.

I didn’t say anything to Mom though — she might just tell me I was imagining things. Somehow I think she noticed my staring though, because she didn’t force me to turn around quite as immediately as I expected. After a few moments though she, “Well turn around, let me see.”

I turned around and she said, “I like this one, how about you Tiffany?”

“Uh-huh,” I told her with a smile.

“Let’s try the other ones on too though, okay?”

“Okay,” I said with a smile.

After that I tried on one that was green velvet for the bodice, and then a green satin for the skirt. It was okay, it wasn’t my favorite, but Mom liked that one as well. Several dresses later I tried on one that had a black velvet bodice and a white skirt. “Could I wear this one for the Christmas concert?” I asked Mom.

“I thought Mrs. Remar wanted everyone in the same shirts and bow tie outfits?” She asked me.

“Well… I’m in choir too right? We were just told black and white… I think she may have meant all black for us girls though…”

“You just are trying to get more than one dress aren’t you?” She asked.

“Well… maybe.” I said with a small smile.

“This was my idea after all,” she told me. “You saw the sale signs?”

I nodded. That was my next card to play. “Tell you what… we’ll get the first one, get this one, and the green one I liked, how about that?” She asked.

I gave her a big hug and said, “Thank you Mommy!”

“Let’s get you out of that dress and go pay for these, ‘kay?”

“Okay,” I replied. She undid the red bow on this one for me, and once she stepped out I pulled it off. Once I was in my regular clothes again Mom helped me put the four we weren’t buying back onto the rack, and we went up to the register.

“Is this going to be all for you Ma’am?” the lady at the register asked smiling at the two of us.

“Yes,” my Mom said as she started writing a check and waited for the total. The sales lady handed that to my mom and handed the dresses to me. We began walking out then.

“You did point out something Tiffany,” she told me.

“What?” I asked.

“We need to get you a black dress for that concert. I don’t think Mrs. Remar will have a problem with you wearing that for both groups.”

I nodded. “So I get four dresses in one day?” I asked incredulously.

“If we can find one,” she told me laughing. “Here let me take these from you so you don’t drag them.” Mom took the dresses and held them for me as we walked down the mall. It really was a lot easier for her since she wasn’t so short. I was almost skipping as we walked into a couple of other stores. We eventually found an all black dress that that went down to my ankles that would work for the concert.

“Okay Tiffany, let’s go back to the car and drop these off,” Mom said as we walked to the parking lot behind JC Penney’s where we had parked.

“We’re not done are we?” I asked prepared to pout.

Mom sighed, “No, obviously we still have to find shoes for you,” she told me with a smile.

“Yay! Shopping!” I said almost jumping. With as bad as yesterday had been I could almost forget about it while we were shopping.

Mom hung the dresses on a hook in the car and then closed the door. She grabbed my hand and we walked back inside to go shoe shopping. Really just one pair of black shoes would probably have been acceptable for all of them… but I ended up with a pair of red shoes, a pair of black, and a pair of white!

All of them had an inch heel on them. Mom had tried to talk me into just getting flats, and I’d tried talking her into something a little taller, but we’d compromised at the end. The heel was kind of my way of not feeling like I was five while I was wearing the dresses. I doubted it would help though. All of the shoes came from the smaller sizes of the children’s section.

It was about one when we stopped for lunch and left the first mall. “Where do you want to eat sweetie?” Mom asked me.

“I don’t know, wherever?”

“How about soup and salad?” she suggested.

“Okay,” I replied, and we ended up at Olive Garden.

As we ate Mom looked over me looking relieved. I think she was really concerned about everything that happened yesterday. “Tiffany, I’m glad to see that you are looking happier today,” she said tentatively.

“Well… how can I not be happy shopping with you?” I asked. A bite later I said, “especially when you buy me clothes!”

“Even ones that make you look a little bit younger,” she teased.

That was low… “Just how young did I look like that?” I asked nervously.

“Young enough,” she sighed. “Tiffany you’re growing up fast enough. Don’t rush it. Besides I think you noticed the same thing I did today,” she added the last part softly.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“I think the hormones are starting to work a bit, don’t you?” She asked.

“I wasn’t just seeing things?” I asked excitedly.

“I definitely think they’re starting. By spring you’re going to definitely actually need the bras you’ve been wearing most of the time,” she said.

I just smiled. The hormones were working — how could I not be happy knowing that?

“So what’s next Mommy?” I asked.

“Well we have another mall we haven’t hit yet. And, you wanted to hit Target right?”

“Uh-huh,” I told her.

The two of us shopped through the other mall for a bit. We found a dress for Mom that she looked great in, and I talked her into getting it. I tried on a lot of clothes there, but we didn’t really find anything that I couldn’t live without. We looked in the jewelry counters a few times and I fell in love with a couple necklaces and such. All of them were way too expensive though, so I didn’t even say anything more than, “Mom isn’t this one pretty?”

The two of us shopped pretty quickly though that mall though, as there wasn’t as much stuff there. It didn’t take us long then to end up in Target. I found several new tops and a couple pairs of pants to go with them. Before we finished going through the store though I couldn’t help but go down the toy aisle with Mom. I admired a lot of the Barbie stuff that was there, and kind of hoped that maybe I’d get a few more this Christmas. For as much as I didn’t want to be thought of as a little girl, a part of me still didn’t want to be a grown-up yet.

After all, I would be a real young lady soon, instead of just a young girl — or something like that. I couldn’t ignore that I was still stuck with certain parts for the moment. ‘Unfortunately I was going to be stuck with them through high school, so I might as well get used to it.’ I thought to myself as we drove back home.

At home I gave my dad a bit of a fashion show with all of the new outfits. When I put on the black and red dress he said, “Tiffany you look gorgeous, sweetie.”

I just blushed at that point. We went out to dinner at a local restaurant that served dinner and breakfast all the time. I ended up ordering a thick Belgium Waffle covered in whipped cream and strawberries. “So what did your Mom and Dad say about Thanksgiving?” Mom asked Dad in the middle of dinner.

“Well everyone is going up to Wendy and Raymond’s place in Denver. We’re invited too if you want to go.” He told her.

“Do you want to?” She asked him. I think she was thinking the same thing I was… his brother Allen had been pretty upset by what we were doing.

“I think we should. They all need to be properly introduced to Tiffany,” he told her.

“What about Uncle Allen?” I decided to ask.

“He’ll behave,” Dad said. I wasn’t entirely sure he believed that. And what about his kids? I was almost more nervous to meet them than anything. His boys, Caleb and Bobby were like the ultimate football player jocks… I’d always been intimidated by them, but how would they act now?

“If you really don’t want to go Tiffany, we don’t have to,” Dad said after reading the fear in my face.

“No, we need to go Daddy… They do have to meet me sometime, and sooner gives them less time to make up stuff I guess.”

With that both of my parents began discussing what day we’d head up. We were supposed to have school all day on Tuesday, so we’d have to leave Wednesday. Since it was about a ten hour drive, we’d probably end up getting there in time for dinner Wednesday. Then we’d be at Uncle Allen’s and Aunt Wendy’s for lunch.

“We’d drive home Saturday I guess.” Dad said.

“So we can go shopping on Friday?” I suggested.

“What is with you and shopping now? It was a lot cheaper when you hated shopping,” he sighed.

There was a lot more truth to that statement than I cared to admit. Just the doctor’s bills alone were high. Even with insurance it was a good thing that I had earned some money myself through our film project. Before I could start brooding though, we left the restaurant and headed home.

My parents called my dad’s parents that night and let them know we were going to go up. Dad started working on finding a hotel. That night he went ahead and made reservations. As soon as he was off the phone I got onto it with Amy.

“Hey Amy,” I said when her mom passed her the phone.

“Hey Tiffany… is today going better for you?”

“Yeah, Mom and I had a lot of fun today,” I told her.

“What did you do?”

“Well we went shopping in town…” I began and told her about everything we had done shopping wise.

“Your Mom bought you three holiday dresses?” She kind of giggled.

“Why are you laughing?” I asked.

“Because now I’m going to have to wear one again!” She sighed.

“Huh?”

“I had been hoping I could skip having to wear one of those dresses this year, telling my Mom that I’m ‘too grown up’ for one now. Of course now that you’re going to be wearing them I’m going to be stuck too.” She sounded like she wasn’t really that mad, but she was slightly annoyed.

“They’re really not that bad…” I started.

“Well at least I’ll have company on this torture,” she sighed. All of the sudden she giggled a bit.

“So… Um Tiff?” She asked in a way that made me know she was up to no good.

“What?”

“Just how old did you look…”

“If you were here I would so stick my tongue out at you right now.” I told her.

She just laughed back at me. “Well I have to get even somehow.”

We talked to each other for a long time still after that. Our friendship was close enough that we seemed to always have something to talk about to each other. She told me a bit about what she’d been up to all day, and the stuff she was getting forced into tomorrow. Eventually both of our moms started pestering us to get off of the phone, so we both said good night.

I ended up in my room for the little bit of time that was left that night, reading a book. That night I dreamt all sorts of dreams with me wearing my new dresses… I briefly woke up annoyed when one of them featured me being sent back to kindergarten because I couldn’t possibly be a seventh grader. It was so real too!!!! I managed to go back to sleep after a while though, barely remembering the details of the dream the next day.