It all started quite innocently, my sister Leah was getting engaged, well she had got engaged and was now into the preparation for letting people know how things were between her and John.

It was an unusual evening we were all in having a meal together, that is Leah, mum and myself, Alex. This did not happen often as I worked shifts at the hospital as a nurse. Anyway Leah and mum were discussing things and I was keeping up with things until they got around to bridesmaids, and Leah turned to me with a straight in the eye look said. ‘Of course Alex will be one, wont you’ After I stopped choking, I said pardon, and she repeated what she had said. So I asked why. Well apparently when we were little we used to play dress up games, we had a box of costumes and would be all sorts of characters, you might think it was all dressing me up a girl, but we did boy dressing up as well. Anyway one of Leah’s favourite games was getting married, she was the bride and I was one of the other people, groom, father and sometimes bridesmaid if she did not have a friend round. I could not remember the incident but mum said she did. We were playing weddings, I had been the groom waiting at the church, and then as Leah (the bride) turned up I had to change into a fairy outfit and be the bridesmaid and carry her train down the aisle/hall. Use your imagination it was junior school kids playing. After a few more character changes with a bossy sister telling me to hurry up and change, we sat at a reception of biscuits and juice, I was in the fairy dress and Leah asked if when she gets married for real would I be her bridesmaid, and according to Leah I had said yes. I hoped mum would deny such things, but she compounded the thing by remembering fondly the time when were young and played at dress up, even saying that she felt it quite likely I would have agreed to such a request, and it very likely that Leah would have asked me.

I felt sunk, I said no as firmly as I could, but with both of them being very persuasive I was hardly a match for the two most important people in my life. So I started a defence of it will ruin your day, I will look awful, I will be laughed at, you will be laughed at, and John will not go with it, who will be the usher for our side? Unfortunately between them all these questions and more were answered, at least to their satisfaction.

They were happy that me made up and in a dress would not ruin the day rather would make it more special. I would not look awful; rather with a few touches I would look the part quite well. Nobody would laugh at me, or them because I would look beautiful. John would be easy, he knows how important the day is to Leah and will go with it for her sake. Our cousin Steve has already been asked to usher. With defeat creeping in I made one last stand, ‘Ok, in theory I am beaten, but if I look at all like a man in drag, I can’t accept being a parody, I have to look like woman, then, and only then shall I agree.’ I could almost hear them cheer as I said a reserved yes. Leah got up hugged me and told me this was going to be so brilliant, I was the only one she wanted as her maid and knew I would not let her down. In my mind I was thinking, what have I let myself in for, only me as her sole bridesmaid! And I do like it when she is happy.

The meal was now well and truly finished with just the dirty pots to clear away. It was mum who took charge; Leah was to clear up I was to go with her. Obviously my plans were forgotten, they were to have been an exciting evening dozing in front of soap operas, but don’t mind me I almost said as I realised I was being taken into mum’s room.

‘Right this is serious’ she had one of her looks on her that meant I am the boss, ‘before you find any reason to back out, I am going to prove that you have the makings of a woman, at least in looks’ another stare ‘right?’

‘Yes, what ever you say’ was all I could manage.

It did not take her long to have me undressed and wrapped in her dressing gown, then she attended to my face, muttering things like, not shaving makes things easier, you have such good features, your lashes are so long. Soon I was covered in the various products that I knew mum and Leah used but was not sure myself how they transferred from bottle to skin. Next a wig was settled onto my head and brushed out. And finally mum passed me clothes and explained how to clip the bra, pull up tights and get the skirt and blouse right. Last she found a pair of heeled sandals that my slightly bigger feet would fit in. now I was allowed to look, and at the same time Leah was allowed in the room. Mum looked on proudly, Leah smiled then started jumping up and down excitedly, and I just looked shocked. In mum’s mirror was me, I saw all the familiar features but instead of the hoped for man looking back, an unmistakeable girl reflected back. This was a bad moment, I felt thoroughly beaten, my last hope gone, as I did look female. Now how was I going to get out of this childhood promise?

I felt really awkward as I walked through to the living room, the clothes all felt different, my lips tasted different, my feet did not feel at all steady in the shoes, hair was tickling my neck and eyes, then as I went to sit and hopefully watch some TV the skirt got wrapped around my legs. I could feel this was not a good start, my confidence was low, and it really did seem a bad idea. Dressing up is very different to passing as a woman. They both were full of praise for how I looked and how great it was that I was doing this odd thing. So I tried to say how I felt and how I would never pass for a woman. Their quick answer was, of course the clothes take time to adjust to, and the look is not just a dress it is posture, expression and feeling that make it work. So I was going to have to learn all about how to look feminine, my heart sank, I had really hoped just to put on a suit and be the usher.

Eventually I was allowed to clean up and go to bed, where I had a disturbed night as all the worst aspects of this idea came round to tease my imagination. To my relief I was working a late shift and waited till the house was empty before getting up, then I could spend some time just being me.

This was a brief lull as it turned out. It was two days later and I was home in the evening to have all the excitement of my new ‘experiences’ pressured on me again. Mum had taken things in hand and been shopping for me, and now explained what and why she had made some purchases. First were shoes, I was to wear them about the house when I was home, then there was the skirt, which was a very full and long one, the same reason was given for this, I needed to get used to wearing such items so it becomes second nature to me. I could follow the reasoning but not the enthusiasm.

But for that evening Leah wanted to show me how a girl of our age would dress because when mum had dressed me the other night it had been mum’s clothes, and a mid calf grey skirt with a plain white shirt was not really suitable. So I was subjected to another session, this time by Leah. I was able to see a difference in the make up colours but it was the skirt that was shocking, it came above my knees and made me feel like I was going to expose myself. Once again I was stunned how easily I had been made to look so female, and as things were being pointed out to me about sitting in a skirt, I began to accept that maybe this could work especially if I worked at it, at least gave it a try.

And so next morning when I got up I slipped ‘my’ skirt and ‘my’ shoes on as I did things about the house, just as I would have put on jeans before going on shift. And as the morning passed I realised how I was getting the hang of the skirt, the heel on the shoe was different and would take more adjustment by me before they were easily accommodated.

I had a week with my new clothes, but the first time I wore them after work was very odd as I was preparing the veg for tea when mum came in. I felt very self-conscious stood in the clothes, but she put her bag down then came over and kissed my cheek as she asked how things were, which was more how she treated Leah than Alex.

So after a week I was used to wearing and being seen in ‘my’ new clothes. Next I was given a top to wear, I immediately realised this was not the sort of thing either of them usually wore, best described as a mini kaftan, the sleeves were long and wide with a very loose body, obviously this was something else to help me get used to female dress, and it did work. The sleeves were hard at first, dipping them in anything that came near, like water or food, but soon I was able to wear it without thinking about it, and when I caught myself adjusting how I used my hands without thinking of the sleeves I was genuinely surprised.

They were both pleased with how I had learnt about ‘my’ clothes and wanted to move on a bit. I had a day off at the weekend, which they said would be ideal for the next stage. Leah wanted to give me a lesson in make up, first she applied it to herself and I watched then I was to do myself while she commented, and once I had got it just right she would clean it off and have me do it again. Then in the afternoon we did the same but using different colours so I could see how they changed the look, and tried to find a style that suited my face. All the time I had been in my clothes but towards the end of the afternoon she opened her wardrobe and suggested I have a change. I ended up in her denim skirt and a cream jumper with opaque tights covering my legs.

The evening would have been uneventful except for one thing, it was Saturday and Leah would be going out with John who at half seven let himself in by the back door to find me washing up the pots, he said hello asked if Leah was in and went through to the living room. Moments later he was back, with Leah beaming behind him.

‘My god Alex I am impressed, I just took you for a cousin of Leah’s, I can’t tell you how good you look, seriously good’

When I joined them John was still full of praise, he had had similar doubts as to whether I would look good and whether I would actually go through with Leah’s plan, but now he could see the results his worries were over. I even got sucked into going out with them, only for a drive to a country pub and sitting outside with a lemonade, but it was outside and another step in the direction of being Leah’s bridesmaid. What helped me was watching other customers and realising nobody was taking any notice of me, Leah even went to the bar and lingered so she could take a wider view and came back to say I was going unnoticed. This made me feel a lot more comfortable because a man in a skirt was definitely not one of my favourite scenarios.

Nurses don’t have regular work patterns, so next day I was up early and came home that Sunday afternoon to meet mum and Leah setting out a timetable for me, or at least that is what it seemed to be. Once I had changed they wanted me to have a chat, more like listen. They were over the moon with how things had gone the night before, and how I was adapting to the clothes, so they wanted me to try some other things. I was given some shopping bags, they wanted me to start wearing panties, and they had bought some vest tops that I could wear as well, there was also a smaller bag with some cosmetics, moisturiser, lipstick and mascara. Also a book on fashion which covered clothes, make up and hairstyles, which they felt would be good for me to read. The full gravity of what was happening occurred to me when almost in passing, a comment was made about my not needing briefs anymore. I said nothing but over the next week I noticed my briefs once in the wash did not return to my room, and when I mentioned it she told me I had knickers to use, I assured her I wore them with the skirt, but she seemed to think I could wear them to work as well. I tried to protest but she asked who would see, and anyway the knickers are for more comfortable against the skin. And so I started to be a fulltime panty wearer, I was also persuaded to wear the vest tops under my nurse tunic. I was also embarrassed to admit it but the fabrics were much nicer than I was used to, the skirt was a very soft cotton, the kaftan had satin parts and the silky knickers were so smooth on my skin, after a week I felt that if I had a real choice then I would probably pick panties over my briefs. Now there was a turn around, at least I thought so anyway.

Over the next two weeks I was not pressured with anything new just allowed to settle into the new things. I did read the fashion book, and of an evening played with the make up items and began to moisturise regularly.

So four weeks after being persuaded that I had once said I wanted to be Leah’s bridesmaid I was wearing women’s underwear and had come to prefer it, I was wearing my training skirt, top and shoes about the house, which I now wore without thinking and would do things such as sweep the acres of fabric under me as I sat down, or lift the front as I walked upstairs. Also of my own I had started to wear lipstick and mascara in the evening, for effect I told myself. But the big thing had been going out with Leah and John and nobody making a fuss.

And so after work I had changed and made up, I was idly reading when there was a tap at the window, a ladder appears followed by the window cleaner, he was fast and I was slow, so he saw me on the settee. I was panicking especially when he knocked on the door as he often did to ask for clean water, how could I escape? I just had to deal with him, so I opened the door, took his bucket, paid him and saw him on his way. I was a nervous wreck. An hour later I am retelling the tale to mum who is quite thrilled with this event, just asked if I had her wig on, and had he looked oddly at me, to which I had to say it went far better than I would have expected. Leah teased saying he had poor eyesight if his idea of clean windows was anything to go by.

But this did herald a new phase of my training as I had come to see these events. Over the next week mum left out more things for me to find, or blatantly left things such a ladyshave on the table with a note saying try this. And so by the eve of my next weekend off day I was clean-shaven everywhere, wearing my training outfit plus tights, and with foundation on my face. I felt Saturday was going to be a turning point and so it proved.

Leah lent me some plain black trousers and a fuchsia top, I had my own heels and did my make up as well as I could, which was getting much better, and topped off with the wig I was ready. The reasoning behind the day was to get me over my self-consciousness of being dressed as a woman, so that I go about wearing clothes which were not overtly female, but not my own, so I would not feel awkward about being taken for a woman even when I looked like one.

We went to a big shopping centre and window shopped, stopping for a snack about midday, and then we went to visit a local landmark and walked around the grounds enjoying the views and chatting, eventually sitting on a bench eating ice creams. It had been a quite nice day, and I had to admit I felt less self-conscious when there was no one about, but as the day wore on I was relaxing. So mum felt it to good to stop and said we had not been to the pictures for years and there was a film she fancied. So we ate at pizza hut and then moved onto the cinema. Both places though not heaving were busy enough to get my stress levels up, but I coped and nobody was staring which was helping a lot. The film was a chick flick and they always make my eyes water at the sad parts, mum had to pass me a tissue and remind me not to smudge the make up; things are much easier as a boy. We got home to find Leah and John watching the football round up, but I soon became the centre of attention as they wanted to know where we had been what we had done and how I was feeling. Leah was obviously thrilled by this development and made sure I knew how happy she was.

Next morning mum sat me down for a chat which turned out to be what should happen next. I had my training outfit, one pair of shoes, enough underwear but that was it, if I was to be going out more so I could get used to role I was taking on then I would need more clothes. She even felt it would be good if I were to buy my own which should help me get over my awkward feelings. I was not too sure about that myself. She also pointed out that Leah had been for a fitting of her dress and sometime soon my dress would need sorting out, as it was only three months to the wedding. Fortunately I was working a late so could escape and think these ideas through before I would see them the following evening.

By the following evening I had not only thought things through but acted as well. After work I had called at a clothes supermarket and as casually as I could browsed the racks, till I found some trousers like Leah had lent me, black with a slight flare to the leg, next a white v neck jumper which I liked as it was so soft, last a pair of shoes, they looked like tassel moccasins any man would wear but the tongue was a lot lower than would be expected. I went through the check out without anyone commenting, I could have had groceries for all the concern it caused. I could try them on when I got home and return the next day if wrong. To say mum was smiling from ear to ear with what she saw would be true, I was sent off to try them on and give her a show, and to our amazement they fitted. It was the start of my own wardrobe, and I could tell mum wanted it to get bigger and more varied over the coming weeks. Again I was not so sure, as this one outfit had exhausted me.

I did however start to wear my new outfit about the house, which mum accepted as long as I wore a skirt at least half the days as I was training. She was also becoming keener on the idea that I wore make up every time I wore female clothes, and tried something different or a change of style with the cosmetics. I did not admit it but I was becoming quite involved in seeing how different colours created different effects, from the plain almost no make up look, to the look at me brighter and more pronounced looks. I was also taking far more interest in what other girls wore and hoping to find a style that I hoped might feel right for me when I plucked up courage to buy more clothes.

My next day off was later in the week and I wanted to find out if I could go out alone, so after everyone had gone, I dressed in the trouser outfit and did the face plain pulled on the wig and crept out to my car. I drove out to the country and looked for a nice park I knew off to take a walk. This went well so I went into a town I was familiar with and walked around the shops stopping for a sandwich at lunchtime. Nobody seemed to be taking any more notice of me than if I was dressed more conventionally so I reckoned now might be a good time to buy some more clothes. During my window shopping I had seen and liked these short dress tops that I had seen worn with trousers, I also liked the skirts that were made of really soft fabric so they moved and flowed in a most sensual way. I stuck to the more anonymous big shops, and once again just looked for a size 12 that I liked and took it to the counter to pay.

When mum and Leah came home I was wearing a new black and white dress top, with a new pair of heels, and there were some more bags for them to inspect containing tights, knickers, some make up, and two skirts one a straight denim the other a full circle skirt in the flimsiest material I had felt and being mostly pinks was certainly the most girly thing I had to date.

Having seen my purchases, it occurred to both of them that I was getting more comfortable with my training, so suggested I try some new things over the next week. I agreed to try. First mum bought me new shoes, a pair of 3  ½’ heels with only a strap across the toes, they did look very nice but mum insisted I wore them as much as possible because they would help me gain confidence walking as they are not secure on my feet. She also bought me a satin nightie, encouraging me to wear it at night so as to keep me in the female mood for longer. It took a few nights before I did try it, I was not wanting to give up to much of my male time, but when I did I could immediately feel and see why both of the women in the house wore such night clothes, it was just luxurious to wear and sleep in. and within a week had bought myself another. The last item she introduced was breast forms and a bra. She pointed out the clothes hung better if I was a more correct shape, and so when I was having a dress training time I started to add the bra to my outfits.

I had been training for my bridesmaid role for about two months now and was able to go out on my own, shop on my own, dress and make up on my own. I thought I was pretty much there, but Leah wanted me to do more things that a girl our age would be doing, this meant going out in the evening, Leah really liked dancing and I had been with her before, but to go in a skirt and when she insisted it was the pink one that I felt might revel to much as it floated upwards, she suggested pink knickers, she lent me a white satin top and also insisted on the toe strap sandals. Once more I felt really conspicuous and expressed my reservations, but her enthusiasm was greater than my reluctance and I found myself in town dancing in a club and enjoying myself. Some how she managed to keep the men away, and we just enjoyed each other’s company, it was a special night.

The next time she spoke of a night out she left it until the last minute to tell me that we would not be alone, that John and his friend, who was going to be the best man were coming also. Again her enthusiasm won over and we met first in a bar where John walked in greeted Leah with a kiss then looked at me in my girly pinks and lent over to give me a cheek kiss, I went bright red. Next was Sean he said hello and the whispered to John, John did not whisper his reply.

‘Yes, it’s Alex, Leah’s bro…sister I suppose. Looks great don’t you think?’

Sean did not really reply but was starting to stare and making me uncomfortable, so he was sent to the bar for the next round.

The evening went better than expected Sean stopped staring and relaxed. Then he started chatting freely wanting to know more of how and why I was doing it, and some of how it felt to be presenting as a girl. I tried to be honest and told him of the awkwardness and reservations I had had, and the ones I still had, but as the evening wore on and things got noisier we were having to at first lean closer then sit or stand closer to hear each other, this was the first time I had been quite so close to another man for years, possibly since school days, but the touching was not uncomfortable it was just natural as we were so close anyway. The evening got to loud and we ended up dancing, then to my shock/horror as we parted the engaged couple got into a lengthy parting kiss, while Sean and I chatted, then at the last minute he lent over gave me a kiss, then whispered in my ear.

‘I didn’t know what to expect tonight but it has been great, you look great and if you want we could do it again’ then kissed me again.

‘Oh’ was all I could manage in reply.

On our way home Leah was pumping me for information about my evening, and the kiss. Mum however on hearing about this turn of events went all serious and said that I should consider the implications of playing the role to that extent, I was still a boy and Sean was a boy. I half teasing came back with the argument that if they want me to be relaxed in the female clothes then I have to embrace some of the female life, and girls go out with boys, they started it I was only taking their lead. She ended with a do be careful speech, that is not the normal be careful talk a parent gives either a son or a daughter, but I listened anyway. Then went to bed and my satin nightie. How things had changed.

Despite what might have been happening elsewhere in our lives the wedding and the preparations were looming ever closer, it was time to get the dresses sorted. Leah already had chosen hers, an elegant dress that flowed from the bust in clean lines to the floor with a short train, the bust being supported with a yoke neck. She wanted me in a similar style but no train just to the ankle. With this in mind I was told to dress in a skirt and wear tights and heels. When I had calmed down we made our way to the bridal shop where Leah was getting her dress and introduced me as Alexis, mum would come to the changing room when we had selected a dress to try, I was getting quite nervous about being discovered and I hoped mum would discourage the sales assistant for getting too personal. And so after three attempts we found a dress style that fitted Leah’s expectations, and being in a silk like hers made it more appealing, I was unsure about the pink but everyone commented how well the colour suited me. I had never before considered pink to be my colour, but now apparently it was. With the dress found we had to find shoes, in pink of course. The only ones we found that were near the pink swatch we had were 4” spikes, and when I protested they just told me I would get used to them, my eyes almost popped out of my head at the idea of walking on these stilts. But they were bought and I would have to get used to them. We also found a strapless bra and matching pink knickers. Then almost as an after thought they saw a basque and felt it would be an excellent addition to my outfit, the dress did not need a slim waist but they thought I would like the idea and feel of wearing it under my dress, this also meant stockings of which they bought a few types so I could find out which would suit best. And so ended another mentally exhausting day.

My next day off when at home alone I tried on the new underwear, spending time to work out how they fitted then dressing in the basque, stockings and knickers, put on the new heels and walked about the house, the whole outfit felt very different to anything I had worn before, the basque was tight the stockings straps pulled taut on my arse, and the high heels altered my balance and posture when walking. I did my face then for the first time painted my nails in a frosted pink I found on mum’s table. Now I am not sure why I did not finish dressing but I spent the day reading and watching TV in the underwear, so when mum and Leah came home to find me asleep on the settee wrapped in a satin dressing gown. They had as big a surprise as I did to be found in that state.

After I hurried off to get on a skirt and top nothing was said, but it was clear everyone was thinking about how I was dressed. Leah asked me when alone how they felt, I described them as odd, not sexy she asked, to which I replied not yet. Mum made it clear that the basque was for the wedding, but I would need to wear the shoes about the house, consider it part of the training and familiarisation she said, so I did. But I also bought my own suspender belt and stockings just for the pleasure of wearing them.

For next few weeks I slipped into a more familiarisation routine, I would wear the 4” heels about the house but besides work I wore clothes from my new wardrobe, even if I was going out daytime or evening I would wear skirt or trousers and heels, with my face always made up, and sleeping in one of my selection of nighties was just confirming how far I had gone since first agreeing to be a bridesmaid.

Then a few events happened almost together, first on a whim I had my ears pierced and small studs fitted, this caused one or two comments on the ward. Then I had a series of accidents at work and spilt things down my trousers, and when I did not have a clean pair of my usual work trousers mum suggested my black trousers with the side zip, not for work I protested some one might notice. In the end it was easiest to hope the tunic top would cover the zip and use them for work.

But I had not expected Kay to be so observant, we were in a room alone and she slid a hand over my bum and said how nice the trousers were, they were a good fit and looked comfortable, then she looked rather obviously at my ear studs then picked up a hand and asked if had been wearing nail varnish. I was going to deny everything but I blushed, and she squeezed my hand and said how lovely I was and that a few had commented on how my attitudes had changed as well as my posture and some gestures. I swore her to secrecy and told her everything, at the end she smiled and asked how I felt towards men, I looked shocked, but she carried on and related some gossip about one of the newer doctors who it was said to prefer his partner to be a transvestite. The next thing I know this doctor has noticed my trousers and is chatting with me a little more than usual, then when we are alone he asks if I was free that evening and did I fancy a drink after work, too shocked to be coherent I nodded in some way which he took as a yes and said which pub to meet at. I was stunned by this rapid turn of events, but now had to spend the rest of the shift deciding whether to go or not.

In the end I felt I had nothing to lose and maybe a friend to be made, so I went along still conscious that my trousers had given me away, that maybe piercing my ears had not been the wisest move and that in future I should be more thorough when removing make up and varnish. At nine I walked into a busy bar not far from the hospital and found the Dr Jones or Paul as he preferred to be called waiting with a drink for me, a slim line tonic, how girly I thought, but I sipped it and liked it. We found a corner to sit in and chatted till closing, by which time I had explained why I was wearing women’s trousers and some of the background to how I came to have a pair in the first place. He was taken with the idea of me being a bridesmaid for my sister, and in return he told me how he was gay but preferred his men to be feminine to the point where they passed as women, except when naked. I had done some research into cross dressing but this was a new idea and with Paul sat opposite, a very real one, especially when he suggested that he takes me out to meet some of his friends. I told him I was not gay, but then I did not have a great history as a hetero either, but I would need to think about his offer.

The next time I saw him on the ward I had decided to ask if the offer was still open, when he said yes I asked if he would like me to come as Alex or Alexis, he left the choice up to me, I could dress how I felt most comfortable. I hate it when that happens, you want someone to make the decision for you and they pass it back to you, what should I do?

I had a text chat with Leah about it and she said to go Alexis style. So that evening after finishing mid afternoon I did all the girly things I could think of, showered, shaved, best knickers and bra, ages spent on make up, got the wig just right, then had to decide what to wear, in the end I went careful and wore the trousers and plain top, with the flatter shoes. Paul proved to be a perfect gent, he turned up on time, was polite to mum and then showed me to his car and drove us into town, to a pub I had never heard of but was a nice quiet place that had a mix of ‘ordinary’ customers, some obviously gay and the one cross dresser. Everyone seemed to know everybody else and the atmosphere was very relaxed, Paul kept on introducing me to folk who knew him, and he stuck with the name Alexis, especially after I had reminded him my name was Alex, but he asked me to look in a mirror as no one would believe me, and the cross dresser would get jealous if they knew I was really called Alex. So I let him continue and enjoy himself showing me off. Being the gentleman he bought all my drinks, which were gin and tonics, the choice based on me saying how I had liked the tonic last time, and being honest with gin it was very nice, and after a few I was extremely relaxed. So when one of Paul’s friends came chatting to us and mentioned that it was unusual for Paul to have a girl with him, I must have given the impression that I was a girl and did not want to make him think any different. I was later to realise how well I had passed when I found out that cross dressers and many gays can spot a transvestite with ease.

We had not stayed late, and as Paul dropped me off he asked if I would like to go out again, I said yes I had enjoyed meeting his friends and wanted to see him again.

We left it at that and I went in to be grilled by mum and Leah, who seemed pleased that I was getting even more relaxed in the clothes of a woman. Little did they know I was even becoming relaxed about being in the role of a woman, especially when with Paul.

Nothing happened for several days and I was beginning to think I had imagined the invitation, but Kay had got wind of our meetings and wanted to be kept up to date on developments, it all sounded so girly chatting about dates and boyfriends, I was having trouble at times reminding myself I was Alex.

After 5 days he caught up with me and apologised for being busy, but he was off the day after and I was on an early, he had checked, so pick up half seven, he had a table booked for eight, and he wanted to take Alexis out. Wow what a shock to my male ego, my female image was preferred to the male, well I would just have to do as asked and make sure a presentable Alexis was ready for seven thirty.

I was in a tizzy all shift thinking what to wear, eventually I settled on the pink skirt, the satin top, stockings and after checking it was ok, the pink 4” heels. I even took out my studs for the first time and replaced them with some 2” hoops. I felt great and when Paul arrived he kissed me in front of mum, who did not flinch at the sight. Then it was off to a nice restaurant for a Mexican meal. We chatted about many things, but mostly about work, but his liking for me was clear, and I tried to explain again that I was not gay; though having my hand in his did make it less convincing than I had hoped. We even walked back to the car holding hands, and as he opened my door he caught me and kissed me before allowing me to get inside, my heart was racing and the stomach turning over at these recent events, and when he got in and asked where to next, I asked for the choices, he came up with home, his or mine, a bar, or dancing. I felt a bar then mine, because while I did not want the evening to end, I did want to end up in my bed and not his, as I have said I was not gay. And so we went to a couple of straight bars, then back to mine. Outside I did not invite him in for coffee as Leah was peeping out the window, but did lean over and kiss him as a thank you, saying how much I had enjoyed it and would love to do it again. Which only encouraged him to return the kiss in a more passionate manner which made the knickers material seem totally inadequate for restraining a penis, a fact that did not go unnoticed by either of us.

With six weeks to go, mum took us both for a final fitting of our dresses, I was allowed to wear all the underwear we had bought for the occasion, and could feel myself really enjoying the sensations of being fussed over so I would look really pretty on the day, a feeling I could see mirrored in Leah. Mum even commented how we were behaving like sisters more and more, hardly surprising with all the training I been doing, but we were having a lovely girl time. When she suggested going out that evening I contacted Paul to see if he was free, when he said he could be, I told him to make certain he was as I needed a partner to stop men from chatting me up, his parting comment was, do I want a chaperone or a partner.

Leah lent me a neat red mini dress, and made sure I was ready well before John or Paul turned up, then we had a taxi pick us up and take us into town. Leah seemed to corner Paul at every opportunity, until John made it clear she was with him, Paul copied by taking my hand and leading me into a club where we spent the night unable to talk just dance or let your bodies do the talking. At 2 am we found a taxi and went home, John was stopping over but Paul took the taxi to his own house, and said he would collect his car in the morning.

In the morning, slowly Leah, John and I made our way downstairs, John was shocked to find that I slept in a sexy nightie and gave me a most peculiar look as I sat down to drink my coffee. I ignored it as the nightie felt so luxurious I doubted if cotton pyjamas would ever find their way into my bed again. I decided that I would drive over to Paul’s to pick him up so he could retrieve his car, and also to get a look at his house without it being at the end of the evening. I surprised myself at how good I was getting at being ready; I took 30 minutes from going for a shower to stepping out to my car. I was only in trousers and a top, but the make up and hair had all been done properly.

Paul had a nice house in town, very neat and tastefully decorated, it was definitely a man’s home, as opposed to mine that was dominated by women and most of it reflected their tastes. After a polite coffee, he asked if I wanted to stay for lunch, I agreed as Leah, John and mum were doing wedding preparations, which I was needed for and but did not wish to be involved in, so I stayed. Then we watched some film on video, fell asleep on the couch together. I woke to find my head in Paul’s lap the film nearly over and Paul gently caressing me. This felt so special that I let him continue, then moved a hand around his neck and pulled his face down to mine. As you can expect this was not too comfortable or successful, so I rolled over to face him and pulled myself up to make things easier. For the first time we allowed ourselves to just be overwhelmed by the passion. We kissed and cuddled and fondled, and when we started petting, he told me how it was a shame I was not dressed like the night we had our meal together, I looked puzzled, stockings and a skirt he replied, so I asked what he had in mind, and said anything I wanted, he did not wish to push me as I was not gay. For that he got a playful thump, which he caught and pulled me to him. His erection was obvious; the tight trousers restrained mine, so when I put my hand on his he could not get much of a feel at mine, which I was glad about. We continued enjoying ourselves getting more aroused until I put my hand inside his pants a gently massaged him till he came in my hand. As he gasped for breath I calmed down realising I had his sticky semen on my hand and what on earth was I doing playing with another mans dick. I got up to clean myself at the sink, and as I washed he came behind and cuddled me, saying how lovely it had been, and how lovely I was. Far to many firsts for one day I thought and how many more firsts would I have if I stayed with Paul. He kissed me on the neck and told how he thought we made a good couple and hoped I did too. I said needed time to think and gather myself, this was all to new for me, exciting yes, but none the less quite different from what I had thought would be my choice of relationship some months ago. He accepted that and we decided that we should take him for his car, I knew this would mean him meeting mum properly, but I felt it was probably the right time to do it.

That night I had a troubled sleep, I would wake thinking of me and Paul being together and doing various things, some mundane others quite erotic, but always I was in a lovely skirt or dress floating around me like on the cover of a romantic novel. He had got me and I knew I would have to see where it took me, to stop it now would leave so many unanswered questions and opportunities I was sure to feel regretting later.

Of course I did not tell him any of this, or Leah come to think of it, this was to personal and to shocking to go public with, I was only supposed to be pretending to be a girl, not actually behaving like one. Kay guessed at some of my feelings when she asked about my evening out, but was kind enough not to voice them.

Anyway I had to find a way of preserving my modesty when things got hot, and after some internet reading came up with control briefs, not too sexy but practical in a Bridget Jones way. Then I found a G-string control panty which though not silky sexy were somewhat more appealing. I found myself planning what I should wear next time we went out, it really just revolved around the pink soft skirt and stockings.

So I made my plans for my next day off, I found out what he was working, and asked if I could cook him a meal for when he got home. He did not ask any questions just gave me a key and said he should be finished about eight that day. So I spent my morning preparing myself, then in daytime clothes I went shopping, and added the groceries to the bag of clothes I had packed into the car before. Next I went to Paul’s and did some food prep, then went to his room to get ready, I had a nosy around as well, it was all male stuff and seemed to be only him living there, but I also found condoms and some lubricant cream, and my mind went into imaginings and possibilities that I was thinking might happen.

At a little after eight I was truly ready, I was in the basque, with stockings, the pink heels, my sexiest top, of course the ink skirt, sultry make up and possibly too much perfume. There was also a part drunk bottle of wine that I had started after I had finished getting ready. He just smiled as I offered him a glass and kissed him saying welcome home dear, then he put a hand on my arse which I am sure was to confirm that I indeed in stockings. We ate a lovely pasta meal, and drank more wine. As the evening passed we relaxed with the wine, until we were kissing passionately again, only this time his hands were feeling me all over, and as I got more excited I felt for his dick and unzipped his fly, then to my surprise as well as his I think, I kissed it, he held my head as he controlled my kissing until I wrapped my lips around his helmet and licked, then sucked, then slid my lips up and down, next I found myself suckling his end, and from his breathing and his grip on my head I knew I should let go soon or get a sticky mouthful. I tried to let go but he was holding me, and something in me wanted to suck harder. And then he came, I nearly gagged, but as he let go of my head I continued to lick his softening erection. Not only was this my first blow job, giving or recieving, it was my first intimate experience sexually, and I knew that was significant. I kissed him so he could taste the semen on my tongue, then I had more wine to wash the taste away.

It was getting late and I had drunk too much to drive, so when he offered to call a taxi, I kissed him again and asked why when we neither of us had to be up early for work, and asked if I could stop the night. This created a shocked smile, and a quick yes. I excused myself and went upstairs found my short silk nightie that I had packed, and then when I heard him coming stepped onto the landing, his eyes almost popped out his head as he put his arms around my waist,

‘I was going to offer you the spare bed, but I don’t think that is necessary, do you?’

I stuck my tongue down his throat and a hand down his trousers; I could still feel the excitement from before and wanted to feel that explosion and afterglow I had seen on Paul. So I started undressing him, his shirt, then his trousers, then as he was recovering his erection I removed his boxers. Soon we were on the bed and writhing around kissing and I felt his dick press against my arse crack, the g-string was in the way, but I immediately knew I wanted to find out what it would feel like to be fucked, so as casually as I could pulled a condom and the cream from under the pillow where I had hidden them earlier, I did not need to ask, he just covered himself, then pulled the string to one side and applied the cream, then it was back to passion until I asked how he wanted me, and let him pull my legs up and start pressing his dick into my arse, he was very gentle at first, then as I felt him go inside and push deeper, I was feeling a sense of total enjoyment, as he got deeper so the thrusts got harder and despite the pain I just felt the pressure building inside me, until I exploded, my panties were soaked, and within two strokes he had come inside me. My first sex and it was brilliant, but exhausting. I managed to change my panties and clean up before falling fast asleep alongside Paul. What a day, and again I had to think what was happening to me, I was supposed to be just doing it as a game to please Leah, now look at me, but I was asleep before I could answer it.

Next morning I had to think about work, but my first thoughts were about how sore my arse still was, followed by the lasting image of being in bed with Paul, then rethinking the 'what am I doing here' thoughts although they subsided a bit when he turned over and gave me a cuddle. In my overnight bag I had my clothes for work, put on the side zip trousers thinking I don’t care if anyone notices the last 24 hours have confirmed to me that I am not a regular man anymore.

When mum and Leah finally caught up with me after work mum was asking how I was and did I have good day the day before, I had told her I was spending it with friends but not specific about who, but was more interested that I had gone to work in my Alexis trousers when I had clean Alex trousers. Leah being more aware wanted to know how Paul had been, she had been in my room I guess and worked out what clothes were gone and therefore guessed that I was doing some extra training. She was right in a way, I was getting more used to the role of being treated like a woman.

Nothing much happened for a week, mum did buy me another pair of trousers, I bought some more control pants and another pair of shoes, black courts with a 3” wedge that I happened to see as I passed a shop window. Even without make up I was having no qualms about buying stuff, I had answers if I was ever asked but no one did, they just took my money.

I could not get Paul out my daydreams or sleep dreams, but did not want to appear to keen, so waited for him to call me. He was working on a different ward now so it was not common to meet at work, but we met in the canteen and had our lunch together, we both expressed how we both felt awkward with the situation, he did not wish to influence or rush me into something I might regret, and I did not have a clue what was happening really, and all said in whispers or in a code so those around hopefully would not pick up on what we were discussing. He wanted to continue as friends and if I wanted to be his girlfriend even better, to which I responded by saying I wanted to go back to the bar he took me to at first, and so the date was set up.

Kay however was not surprised, she noticed the trousers and my uneasy walk after my night out, and immediately asked how it had been. I went vaguely around the answers but she just added to them and concluded I had had a good night.

Before I meet Paul the next time I had a chat with mum and Leah about what else I needed to get used to or have done before the wedding. Besides some last minute things such as getting it all together for the big day, they felt I was about as ready as I ever would be and how well I had embraced the whole bridesmaid thing. Leah did quietly on our own suggest I thin my eyebrows, I had read about this weeks before and stray hairs had already gone, so I started to pluck a few extras out so the thinning was not a suddenly dramatic change.

Then when I met Paul I asked him the same question, and he being more knowledgeable about cross dressing suggested I try gluing the silicone breasts on, asked if I had ever tried long nails or lip plumping lipsticks. I could not do long nails because of work, but glue on would an option, as for the others I had no real idea about. We had a lovely evening together chatting with his friends; I was beginning to feel really comfortable in my female clothes and could talk freely without feeling I was odd, and made several new friends. As we drove home I was struck by how much I enjoyed being Paul’s girlfriend, but did not know how to say it, so relied on a passionate kiss to relay my feelings, and ask when would I see him again.

My next early shift coincided with Sally the travelling hairdresser who made a regular call to do mum and Leah’s hair, and mine if I was in, in the past it was just a trim, but Leah was chatting about weddings and what Sally had in the way of ideas for her hair. Then they got onto bridesmaids and would Sally being doing them as well, Leah smirked then giggled which Sally did not understand, until I walked into the room in a fairly androgynous trousers and jumper and Leah said that she would certainly be doing the bridesmaid, Sally took a moment to connect the facts then her mouth hit the floor.

‘Alex?’

‘Yes’

‘Wow!’

This was followed by the explanation of why and how I was going to be a bridesmaid, at the end Sally announced that this would make a big difference to how she cut my hair, and then as she did, mum was talking of possibilities. My hair had become quite long as it had missed out on a cut for many months, so Sally wanted to try a cut before we went for a wig. She cut it level with my collar and cut the fringe so it swept back, I was already tucking it behind my ears, but now I would need to gel it to hopefully keep it back. Then they talked about colours and highlights that lost me.

It was at work next morning Kay noticed the new cut, but then everyone notices a new cut even if it is just a trim, but later in the day the ward sister suggested I use bobby pins to hold the fringe back, I blushed and asked what she meant, so she explained how if I was going to have a girl cut then I might as well use girl things to control it, followed with a, by the way go and check your face in a mirror. I shot off to the toilet and to my horror I still had mascara on, not heavy but noticeable, I was mortified when she followed me in and apologised, she had only meant it as a tease and was fine with it as long as I was, and told me how much better I had been over the last few months. I asked what she thought and was very supportive, but did say that one or two were not, but I had caused some minor gossip with my changing ways and looks.

So that was it I was rumbled at work, I then realised I did not have to be so male when at work and could allow myself to let some female things overlap more, I could wear my female cut trousers when I wanted, could actually wear some small make up like the women if I wanted, even wear the black moccasins, things were changing.

Things changed even more the next time I had rest days, I had two together with an early before, so Paul asked me to go around after work, he had something to show me. I rolled up late afternoon with a bag of clothes to change into if he wanted to go out, but what he had for me left me with odd feelings. He had got hold of some surgical glue and explained how to attach my breasts, this felt weird enough, but then he had got a gaff of the internet that was supposed to be brilliant, he had read the instructions and wanted me to try it on then. It only looked like a tube with two tails and wondered how it could possibly work. So with a doctors hands he asked me to drop my pants, then slide the tube over my penis, then with a hairdryer warmed it up, the tube shrank around my penis, the tails were then glued to either side of my arse crack. Paul lead me to his long mirror, I was amazed, at a distance I looked all woman. I spun round to thank him and give him a kiss, we cuddled for a moment and I realised the gaff was going to stop any erections as I could not swell anymore. I mentioned this and had he thought about it, he apologised for not thinking of it through, but said 'well do you really want me to use that, when we both know the best is when I fuck you.' I made no response except to pull his groin to mine and kiss him till I felt his erection grow, then it was not long before we were on the bed enjoying a very intimate moment.

After we had recovered he suggested shopping for a few extras so I could spend my days off with everything still in place. Later that evening I drove home with the appliances still glued on, but with new long thin ear rings, lips enhanced with a stinging solution that made them swell a bit and long glue on finger nails painted the same pink as my lips. I also had a wrist full of bangles that made me conscious of them and my new image. I also had a packet of hair colouring that I wanted to ask Leah’s advice about before using in case I ruined my hair before the wedding. She thought I would look good with lighter hair so follow the instructions and I would look great she encouraged.

That night was not the most comfortable, I wore a bra to support the boobs, but as well as that the groin was definitely different and the nails were taking some adjusting too. But next morning I did my hair and was really pleased with the results as my mousy hair lightened and seemed to gain more shine. I then played with some bobby pins and gel to see what styles I could create, then as I dried it for the last time I plucked my eyebrows more severely than before. All this combined with the adjustments I was required to make because of the longer nails made for a most amusing morning.

Next on my list of things to do was to get back into the silky panties, but now I had matching bras to consider I felt I would need to get some shopping done. So I left the house, went and shopped for underwear and a new outfit, pink again, but a fluffy jumper with a black mini kilt. Next stop was the pub Paul had taken me to, I wanted to see what it was like on my own, but daytime it was completely different, the atmosphere and mix of people was very different, but the staff recognised me and made me feel welcome. So after a drink and a bite to eat I thought about the rest of my plans. I did a grocery shop then went to Paul’s to surprise him with an evening meal. To say the meal went down well would be an understatement, but it was nothing compared to the antics Paul got up to later, leaving me exhausted, sore and thoroughly happy as I once again fell asleep alongside a man, even I was beginning to doubt if I was not gay.

Paul thought the new look was excellent; he even made the comment that now there was no doubt which of us was on top as it were seeing as I would not be using mine. I was still enjoying being the bottom, but did think about the idea of one day being on top as I rode his erection.

The next day he wanted to treat me, he loved the new mini, but he wanted to buy me a classy outfit, so he ‘forced’ me to go shopping. By mid afternoon I was getting tired, I had teetered about on my heels for him, overcome my fear of changing rooms and was now carrying bags containing a halter neck top with a full length straight shirt and a pair of 4” sandals, of course all in pink. He insisted I change when we got back, told me I looked stunning and that we were going out for a meal, all I had to do was freshen up the make up and wrap a white pashmina around my shoulders to be ready. Paul was most impressed and took me to a smart place, where the food and service were excellent, but not as good as the service he got when we arrived back at his for a coffee. I was becoming addicted to sex with this man and enjoying it all.

But all good things come to an end, next morning I had to unglue the boobs, clean off the nails, and try to make myself look half descent for work. I did however leave my toenails pink, and the gaff was firmly and secretly in place. Kay was smiling when she saw my new hair colour, and told me it suited me, then commented on the flat front to my trousers, then my thin brows, then asked if I had had a couple of days off. I refused to give straight answers, but she just told me everyone now knew I was at least gay and maybe into cross dressing. When I asked does it matter, she said it made no difference it her, and she preferred the new me. And I wondered if one day I might just be brave enough to let her meet Alexis.

When I got home it was the first time Leah and mum had seen my new hair colour and brows, both liked it and asked if I had any more things I was going to try before the wedding, so I told them about the glue for the boobs, and how I had worn long nails for two days, then how Paul had found a thing which gave me a flat front between the legs, but only Leah was cheeky enough to want a look. She was suitably impressed with the hidden male bits, and asked if she could have another look when I did the full works next time.

The wedding was almost upon us, the dress had been collected after the minor alterations, John had been out and got his new suit, mum had a new outfit and things were getting tense. Paul was becoming my escape and finding in each other a closeness that both appreciated. One problem that had lurked all through this planning and training was how would the family take to me being in a bridesmaids dress. So mum was given the job of casually letting all the family know that Leah had persuaded me to keep a childhood promise, and that it meant nothing other than sibling fun. I was not going to tell her she was wrong, and that she had let a genie out of the box that was not for going back in. but she must have been ignoring the presence of Paul and his obvious affection for me when he was at the house.

A week before the wedding I was on holiday and I spent my first day getting every aspect of Alex hidden. The original gaff had let go so a replacement was fitted, my chest was enhanced, fingernails had the glue on extensions, my brows had a final plucking, and the lips were brushed with the stimulating liquid that made them swell. Then in my black mini, pink top and a jacket I went to see Sally for a hair appointment. She had discussed with Leah what style I was to have but Leah would not tell me and Sally refused to tell me either just told me I had to wait. When I got there she also told me to remove the glue on nails; I was going to be having acrylics that are far tougher and dont become detached unexpectedly. So I sat back and had to take whatever was planned. To explain all she did would be even more tedious than this tale already is, but I walked out of her place in the late afternoon with long hair courtesy of extensions, with highlights which lightened the overall colour more than before, and my double length nails were a gentle pink. I felt truly gorgeous as the hair caressed my face and neck.

Leah was off as well, so when she meet me late on she was suitably impressed as I walked towards her, in my 4” heels, the mini kilt flicking out as I moved, my chest moving in a rather bouncy manner, but most of all the hair blowing in the breeze. As we greeted she whispered that I was born to be Alexis really, when she saw me now it confirmed her feelings, I thanked her, linked arms, and pointed out 'if that was the case' then ‘sister’ we had some boys to meet.

It was only John and Sean to run through the wedding plans, but Sean had not seen me for months since my first outing to a bar, and now when he saw me he was shocked how much I had changed, he just could not accept I was ever Alex because I was looking so beautiful. I do love the compliments. He also got confused when I explained that I was gay, he somehow thought I meant I was lesbian, but told him how Paul was a man, this did make him back off, whether he was not happy with a gay or he did not want to waste energy chasing a taken bit of skirt, I did not work that one out. But he was very kind and polite, and left as friends knowing we were going to be looking after the happy couple in a week and it was best we get along.

Mum was a little less enthusiastic about my new look, she had thought I would be more androgynous the week before, so if I met family they would not think I was so heavily into the looking the part as I had become. I went and changed into some jeans and a shirt, pulled my hair back, and slipped on trainers, and after a wash went to see how she thought I might get away with being a boy. She was struggling with the fact that she had encouraged me to take up this challenge, and that now she saw a mainly female person, yes I was in Alex clothes but my face had narrow brows, plumper lips, my fingernails were still extended, but most obvious was my chest carrying two C cup breasts that did not flatten. She had to accept I really did find it easier to pass as a girl than a man. Her face was saved by an aunt deciding at the last minute that she could make the wedding, but at short notice she was having trouble finding a hotel nearby, so mum came up with the idea that I stay at Paul’s, while the aunt has my room. Paul was wonderful saying yes without a pause, and so I spent the evening packing all my new clothes, leaving anything male in the bedroom, I was not working so I could be Alexis till the aunt left.

A week with Paul meant several things, one was being able to come and go without any thought of neighbours gossiping because I would always be female to them. Another was the thrill of being able to dress up every day just how I now wanted too. But probably the best was being able to spend time with Paul. I enjoyed cooking for him, keeping the house tidy and being the sexy plaything that he always wanted. We had a week and made the most of it, at least once a day I once fucked, but I was also blowing him, the funniest being when he was stood up using the phone and I got him so excited he had to make excuses for his breathing becoming laboured. I also got to ride on top, which was something I wanted to do after he had referred to me as his bottom, so it was nice to have him on the bottom for a change, if not the bottom in the relationship.

Mum came to visit and make sure I was coping without her, and fortunately did not catch us doing anything she might disapprove of, or me wearing anything that would give the wrong impression of her boy just dressing up for his sister.

The Thursday evening was great fun, I was invited on the hen night, there were a few girls I knew, but the majority I only knew by name and I just blended in as one of the girls, getting drunk, chatting up boys and being silly.

Then on Saturday mum was in full organising mode. I had to be there early, Sally was doing hair, and then a girl called Yvonne was doing make up. Mum went first, then me then Leah, so mum helped me into my dress and got a proper eyeful of all the add ons I had attached to me. Then with me dressed we both dressed Leah and were ready in good time for a glass of champagne before the wedding car arrived. The aunt had been great at running around making drinks and stopping mum getting to flustered. So once in the car mum calmed down as we rode.

I know Leah’s dress was wonderful, but I could not help enjoying the feel of my dress, with the underwear and the luxurious fabrics I was having trouble not thinking this was my day and not Leah’s. The ceremony went off with a hitch, and then at the reception we stood to welcome the guests, many female relatives being complimentary about how I looked, later coming to chat about how I had got myself into the situation and asking how had I got to look so convincing, most men I sensed keeping their distance not sure what to make of me, but a few did relax later and come to talk. The most awkward time was when the dancing started, Leah and John got up to start, and Steve was expected to follow with me, while he had been fine with me previously now he felt everyone was watching him and saying that it was two men dancing, that’s not right. But we did the one dance and I let him go and relax. I did get asked to dance by several women though which was odd, because no one ever asked Alex to dance, male or female.

It had been an interesting day but it had been without Paul who had not been able to get out of work, but he promised to pick me up at the end and take me back to his house. The dress was still feeling great even at 1 am. But it was much later before I was fully undressed, he helped me out of the dress to find basque and stockings on top of pink spikes, I knew I was his wet dream and played with him for ages before finally letting him come, then as I got him erect again I asked if he ever thought of Alexis as permanent part of his life, he said he did , so asked if he wanted me to leave, he said no, so I pushed again asking if that meant he wanted me to stay, of course it did I was welcome to stay as long as I wanted.

‘Pardon’ I asked

‘Yes, I want you to stay’

‘Sure?’

‘Off course I am’

‘Why?’

‘Because I love you’

I guided his erection into me,

‘I love you too, and now that is sorted I need you to finish off one randy bridesmaid, please’

‘Most certainly my darling Alexis’