“That’s my next hurdle to be faced Maggie, My family obviously are aware that I am transgender, a few close friends and my bosses at the museum have already been told who I am and what I am doing, you now know, I now just need to find out if it will affect my career prospects.”

“They’ll be daft if they cause problems, you are brilliant at your job and you are a lovely person, tell it to them straight and see what happens. Even if your career takes a nosedive, you can still look forward to a happy life fully as a woman”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Maggie’s reaction and support gave me confidence to go to see Charles Mathieson, the regional director of the National Trust, a few days later when he had some free time available.

“Good morning Joanne, have you come to sign up to do the reviews for us?”

“In principle yes, but there a a few things we need to discuss first. Talking to Jacqui at the museum has convinced me that I would like to keep some involvement at Ostia, and along with that and other commitments, I would only be available part-time, perhaps three days each week. I don’t see that as a problem, obviously I would need to be involved with reviewing what is to be shown and presenting the information, but the technical side of the filming, writing the scripts, and setting up the camera shots doesn’t need me. It will probably mean a lot of involvement from me at the start, deciding on the formats and content at each of the sites, but the researchers and film crews can do a lot of the background behind-the-scenes work without me.”

“That seems reasonable it’s what I would have expected anyway.”

“Secondly, as you know the programmes I have already presented for Anglia East have involved a group of interested friends who have helped to personalise the visits giving their views on what is interesting to the general public. I would like to find a way to involve them even it it is only as an off-camera test-group for what we are going to show, and perhaps use them as a discussion group on the Anglia East follow-on series. Similarly I suggest that as well as showing the properties we also include pieces on some of the management or volunteer staff at the properties”

“That’s not a problem, so long as their involvement is minimal, the whole point of the filming is to show off what the properties have to offer. You can sort out the details with the production team.”

“Thirdly, and I hope that this does not shock or embarrass you and that it is not the deal-breaker, it is not public knowledge but I am transgender and I do not want to go forward with this if I am going to become a source of embarrassment to the National Trust. Sooner or later, particularly when the TV programmes are aired, someone is going to look into my background and find that I am genetically male, although I am now in the process of transitioning.”

Charles’ eyes widened and his jaw dropped in amazement, but he recovered his normal demeanour almost immediately and smiled at me.

“Oh dear, you really know how to spring surprises, I had no idea and would never have guessed, please tell me more.” replied Charles with a querying look on his face.

We had a long discussion about how I had came to be as I now was, and how I intended my future life to be and he listened with keen interest, not judging me or my actions.

“Are you intending keeping this low-profile. Obviously it will become public knowledge sometime, but we wouldn’t want it to become a source of embarrassment to you or to the organisation.”

“I just want to get on with my life and career like any other woman, I am not, and do not intend to be, a flag-waving Pride-marching tub-thumping campaigner for LGBT rights, but as and when it becomes public knowledge I am not going to deny the truth either.”

“As you are probably aware The National Trust policies recognise and champion inclusivity and diversity among our staff, volunteers, and visitors. In fact in the recent past we requested our staff to wear LGBT rainbow lanyards with their ID badges, and there was a big furore with some of the volunteers refusing to do so and being dismissed, causing a lot of negative reaction in the national press. I personally do not have a problem with you being transgender, you are an eminently suitable person to present the video reviews, and if I am allowed to say so you have an attractive appearance and pleasant lively personality which is the image I would like to see. However I have taken note of your concerns about not wishing to cause us embarrassment, and would like to pass this upstairs to the trustees to get their agreement, which to be honest I see as a formality, is that acceptable to you?”

“I wouldn’t expect you to say anything other than that, When I last spoke to Anglia East they were keen to get on with setting it all up, so I hope to hear from you soon.”

“Thank you for being so open and honest with me, I appreciate that, and I’m sure that the trustees will see that as a positive sign too. I’ll follow it up and get the ball rolling, and would hope to come back to you without much of a delay.”

A week later I received a call from Charles Mathieson. “Joanne, I am pleased to tell you that the trustees are fully supportive of my decision to contract you to do the presentations for us and have authorised me to discuss the details with you and Anglia East to get the project underway. In addition we would like you to be the project manager on our behalf, coordinating the production team and our staff involvement. Obviously I will be keeping oversight of what you all are doing, particularly in relation to any costs attributable to the Trust, and our marketing department from headquarters will have a watching brief to ensure compatibility with our other activities but the details will be down to you. I am really excited about this project and look forward to working with you.”

“Thank you for your support and confidence in me Charles, I will not let you down. I need to sit down somewhere quiet and get my thoughts together before taking it further.”

“”If you need a base to work from, I am sure that we can allocate you office space here in regional headquarter, which will make things easier if you need to discuss anything with me.”

I ended the call in a happy frame of mind, everything had gone a lot better than I expected, not only were the Trust prepared to accept me but they were prepared to back me by giving me overall responsibility for the project.

The next few weeks were hectic, an endless stream of meetings and discussions with Charles and his staff to schedule the order that they wished to prioritise their properties, and with the local management to assess what they considered to be weaknesses in their previous approach to publicising their various properties. I had expected to meet some resistance from the local management, a young media and TV personality rushing in to tell them what they had being doing wrong and failing to move with the times, but was pleasantly surprised at the level of enthusiasm and cooperation that I was receiving. Most of the staff had seen my vlogs and the museum website and were keen for me to help to generate more interest in their properties.

I found the Trust local staff to be committed to what they saw as ‘their’ properties to which they were determined to draw in a wider diversity of visitors. A significant number of visitors were either retirees or people with young children who they were introducing to the delights of some of the most magnificent properties in their area, but there was a significant gap in the range from the late teens through to the forties and fifties, people who had busy working lives and other interests to keep them occupied. It became obvious that that was why I had been selected to front the project to upgrade the information on the websites and at the properties themselves, those people were the future of The National Trust and it was my job to inspire their interest and involvement.

Having formulated the directions we needed to take, the hard work began with Anglia East and their production team to agree a filming schedule and to visit the first properties for the researchers to determine what we felt would most likely appeal to a wide audience and for the camera team to determine where the best shots should be filmed.
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It was also a busy time at home. Karen moved in with Josie and Jack to look after Clara, which meant that as I being so tied up with the NT project Josie was able to be effectively working full time covering for me at Ostia and dealing with how to take it forward as a visitor attraction, helped a great deal by Jane and Emma.

With everything that was going on, thoughts of my personal situation very much took a backseat, I just got on with my life as a busy working woman, not really noticing how my body was slowly changing. However one morning I felt it was time I removed the breast forms to give my skin a chance to breath and have a good clean as my chest was feeling a little itchy and I noticed that the area around my nipples and breast area was getting quite puffy and sensitive. It suddenly dawned on me that my breasts were beginning to form and that I was on my way to womanhood.

When I had showered and dried off I took a long look at myself in the full length mirror in my bedroom to see if there were any other signs of changes. It may have been wishful thinking or my imagination but but I thought that my waist seemed less fleshy whereas my bottom, like my breasts, seemed to be getting flabbier and more pronounced, altogether beginning to give me a more feminine shape, I expected that before too long I would no longer have any need for the breast forms and the padded briefs.

As it was a weekend and I had no business appointments, I decided leave them off, go natural and put on a fitted dress to see the effect. While no means as full-bodied as I expected and hoped I would eventually end up as a complete woman, there was no doubt that I was female and no longer could there be any possibility of being seen as a man in a dress. I quickly put on my makeup, brushed out my hair which was now shoulder length and beginning to form natural soft waves, and set off to show Josie and get her opinion as to whether I was now changed far enough to forget all about the shape enhancements.

“Hi Jo”, she welcomed me with a hug and a big smile, “you’re looking different today. You’re not using your forms, you’ve dropped down a couple of cup sizes. Are those now the natural you?”

“They are, and the hips too, what do you think?”

“I think that you are turning out beautifully, almost as attractive as your twin sister, although I suggest that you could still do with a bit of help up top, not the full breast forms but some enhancers to give you a bit of extra lift, that’s what I did when I was developing.”

“Is Karen around today, now that I am beginning to change I think that it is time to start trying to get her pregnant, before it is too late and I am no longer able.’

“She’s out down town with Jen shopping, but I am expecting them back soon, I’m keeping an eye on Marianne for her to let them shop in peace .”

“How are things going with you and her, are you getting on ok.”

“No problems at all, I am out most of the day at the museum and Ostia and she is getting on really well with Clara and Marianne is enjoying having a baby sister. In the evenings when Jack is working late and the girls are asleep, she is good company for me, chatting and watching TV, to be honest I am really glad she is here. She has sorted out her old house and has somebody in on a short lease to see how it all turns out, it all seems to be working out for everyone.”

“How is Jack getting on with taking over running the businesses.”

“To be honest we don’t talk to much about it, he says it is better if I don’t know some of the things his father got up to. I do know that there are a lot of things that Sally and her accountant friend did not unearth, and that Jack is working hard to get round the issues or bury them much deeper so that they remain hidden. In fact he is going over to see his father at the end of the week to make sure that there are no more nasties that will be crawling out of the woodwork.”

“How are Jeremy and Melanie facing up to their new life, have they stopped causing you trouble?”

“It’s all very quiet on that front at the moment, Melanie even called me to ask about Clara and how she was settling in. I don’t think that we will ever be really close, but at least there is a calm truce between us, and Jack has had lots of conversations with Jeremy, they seem to be happy with each other.”

“I’ve been thinking about what to do about our house, now that you have moved in here I rattle around in it a bit, and with being so busy at work I am neglecting the upkeep of the house and garden. I’m considering getting myself a smaller more manageable apartment or something like that. I know that it’s the family house where we grew up and that there are a lot of memories there, but are you happy to see it go?"

“”No I agree, I was thinking along the same lines. But instead of getting an apartment, why not move in here, there is plenty of room,. If things work out with the surrogacy with Karen it will mean that everything will be a lot easier to manage and coordinate, and if and when you finally get together with Darren he will be more than welcome too.”

“I appreciate that, but talk it through with Jack, he may feel a bit overwhelmed with all the females wandering around the place, I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable in his own home.”

“There’s Karen and Jen back with a load of bags, they have obviously had a busy morning at the shops.”

“OMG you have changed a bit Jo,” said Jen with her usual bluntness, “is that you natural now, you’re beginning to turn out really well?”

“Why hello to you too Jen, you don’t waste any time getting down to things do you?”

“No offence meant Jo, I’m just surprised to see you like that. You could still do with a bit of help up top though.”

“So Josie has already told me, a while ago I would’ve been embarrassed having this conversation, but I suppose it will be my lot in life in the future, I am beginning to get used to how open and frank discussions are between women, men-talk is much more mundane. Let’s see what you have got for yourselves this morning, that is one thing I have already completely adjusted to, the joys of shopping and showing off the things you have bought.”

After a quick fashion show and a chat over tea and cakes, I took Karen aside to another room for a heart-to-heart.

“As your sister has so bluntly pointed out, I am beginning to see changes to my body, if you are still happy to carry a surrogate baby for me, I think that it is about time that we start things off. I know that we could take a long term view and arrange to store some of my sperm for the future, but I prefer to keep this private and personal between us, are you ready to think about it yet or am I rushing you.”

“Not at all I’m still committed. My period is due in the middle of next week, so maybe we should try from a week or so after that and see what happens.”

“This all sounds so clinical and unemotional and planned out, but I’m sure that if it works out the emotional side will come later.”

“It’s better this way, I would rather that that we kept it clinical, that way we can both bond to the baby without too deep a bond between us. I am happy to do this for you, to help you enjoy the delights and heartaches of motherhood. Let’s rejoin the others, get the shopping put away and we can settle down to relax.”

Two months later everything had settled into place, Joanne had moved in with Josie and Jack and put their family home up for sale, Karen had confirmed that the artificial insemination was successful and that she was now pregnant and that the doctors foresaw no complications other than would normally be expected. Joanne was working with the Anglia East production team and The National Trust on the first projects on their schedule, Josie was working with the planning team on the proposals for the construction and interpretation of the Ostia site and Karen had comfortably settled into a routine of caring for Clara and Marianne. Things were all going smoothly, too smoothly, when one morning Joanne answered a call from a number she did not recognise.

“Good morning, am I speaking to Joanne Johnson?”

“Yes, how can I help?”

“This is Women’s Life magazine, we would like to talk to you about who you really are Joanne, or whoever you truly are?”

In a state of shock and panic I quickly ended the call without any further comment and turned off the phone while I got my thoughts together. I decided to call Sally Walker but saw that there were lots of missed calls from the magazine and realised that I would have to talk to them sooner or later, but not until I had spoken with Sally.

“Hi Sally, it’s Joanne, can we talk?”

“Yes of course, I am working from home and there is nobody else here. You sound worried, what’s up?”

“I’ve just cut off a call and have ignored lots of missed messages and calls from Women’s Life magazine, it sounds like they have discovered my previous life as Joey, what can I do?”

“Firstly calm down they might just be fishing on the basis of a rumour and not have enough to go on to run a story, it’s common practice, I have done things like that myself. Secondly we need to find out how much they know. Ring them back and say your phone battery went dead, do not let them know that you are worried and don’t admit to anything. Get the name and contact details for the reporter and tell them you are in a meeting and can’t speak for long, but that you will ring them back later. I am in the middle of something but can be with you in about an hour and a half to listen in to the call and advise you how to reply to their comments.”

“Hello, this is Joanne Johnson, I’m returning your earlier call, apologies but my phone went dead, what can I do for you?”

“My name is Isabella Carlisle, I am a freelance reporter working on a story for Women’s Life. You are becoming a bit of a celebrity and they have asked me to do a feature on you as a rising star in the media world, an example of successful a young woman can be nowadays. As part of my research I can only find biographical information for the recent past, your childhood seems to be non-existent and I cannot find any birth certificate record for you. However as another mystery in your family, I have found out your cousin Josie has a brother, Joseph or Joey, who seems to have disappeared about the same time that you suddenly came on the picture, can you shed any light on this.”

“I’m not sure what you are getting at. But if you are running a story on my success at Ostia I am quite happy to talk to you about it, but unfortunately I have to go now, I’ve got people waving me over to get on with a meeting. I am out of the country, in France, for the next few days, can we schedule a meeting for the end of the week and I’ll fill in some background for you?”

“Hi Sally, I’ve just spoken to an Isabella Carlisle who is researching the story on me, she didn’t actually say that she knows that I am, or was, really Joey, but if she hasn’t quite got to the bottom it all, she seems to be well on the way.”

“I know Isabella, she is an aggressive, tenacious heartless bitch and will have no qualms about digging deeper, finding your deed poll name change and exposing you in an extremely lurid and tasteless manner. You promised me that if it looked like your background was to be exposed that you would let me break the story before anyone else and get the true facts down in print rather than unfounded gossip and innuendo. I suggest that time has now come. If you agree, come round to stay at my place, we’ll work on the story together and get it out in the public arena before she has an opportunity to sell her story to the magazine and to the red-top national papers. Meantime, do not answer her calls.”

“I agree I will be with you in an hour or so, after I have spoken with Josie and Jacqui, the story will cause almost as many problems for them as it will for me.”

To be continued.