Surrogacy is not a bad idea Karen, but I am sure that I don’t have a lot of time, before it won’t be possible, I don’t know how to go about finding someone that I can trust to give up the baby and not cause future problems.”

“That should not be a problem, I have someone in mind, just give me a few minutes to think, I’ll go and clear up the tables from the last of the customers while I get my thoughts together.”

Returning a few minutes later, she sat down, holding my hand. “It’s not a problem, I’ll do it for you, if you feel you can trust me.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“I beg your pardon Karen, did you just say that you would be willing to have a surrogate baby for me?”

“I don’t see why not, you need somebody you can trust, and I quite fancy the idea. Some people have difficult pregnancies and labour, but with Marianne I had no problems all, I enjoyed the whole experience, even the birth went off smoothly without too much difficulty or pain.”

“Leaving aside the emotional questions, what about the practicalities, you will have to give up work for a while, what will you live on.”

“This is not the most stimulating of jobs, I do it because I need to. I could always get another job afterwards. Those things can be sorted out later, let’s deal with the important things first, do you want to do this or not?”

“I would love to do it. Before Josie had her baby today, I hadn’t really thought that far ahead, but the reality of what I am doing has really hit home to me. It may be my heightened emotions today with the excitement of the injection this morning and then the birth, but the thoughts have now taken me over. It’s a wonderful offer from you, but let’s not rush into it, leave it a few days while we both consider all aspects of it calmly and rationally. Talk it through with Jen and I’ll talk to Josie, I think we both need to consider the potential downsides as well as the benefits for me.”

“You’re right, let’s meet up at the weekend and see if we are both still interested.”

Josie was back home from the hospital with Clara a few days later, and after the baby was settled down for her late afternoon nap, I sat down with Josie for a serious talk about Karen’s offer.

“Seeing you so happy when Clara was born really got me realising that as I go forward with transition, there is little chance that I will ever be able to have a family of my own. There is always the option of adoption, but after seeing the problems caused by Melanie and Jeremy with Jack, I am a bit turned off by that. I was chatting to Karen and told her how I was feeling, and, in a nutshell, she offered to carry a surrogate for me. I can’t make my mind up whether it’s good idea or not, what do you think?”

“Firstly, most of us get to feel bit broody when we see friends with a newborn it’s a natural reaction and you are feeling no different to any other woman. Usually after a glass of wine and a good night’s sleep, the realities and practicalities of life come back and we move on. You have had a few days to think about it calmly, do you still feel the same?”

“ I do, I just see a big void in my future life if I don’t do something about it before it’s too late.”

“Let’s look at the practicalities, what are you going to do about your career, do you still want to go ahead with the work for the National Trust and the follow-on tv series? Obviously having a baby to look after will mean that you really will need to think about how you would juggle those two demands on your time.”

“If we had gone ahead as planned, I had moved on and you took my place at Ostia and the museum, how were you going handle it, and now that you have Clara, do you still want to do that?”

“I had intended to, and once the hormones have calmed down after the birth, I still think that I would like to have a career, which would obviously mean a childcare arrangement for Clara, the same would apply to you. Jack and I are now quite comfortably off, and you are extremely well paid, so the costs of childcare are not a problem.”

“I have been so wrapped up in feeling broody, as you called it, that I hadn’t even considered that far ahead.”

“If you did get Karen pregnant, what is she proposing to do?”

“There will come a time when she has to give up work, which she seemed happy enough to do, I suppose then I will have to support her and Marianne.”

“You haven’t done your site visit and vlog for the last few days, you have been so wrapped up in yourself. Get yourself out there and do your job, and we’ll talk again later when Jack gets home.

The Ostia site was getting a lot more organised now, there would be ongoing investigations for the foreseeable future, on sites like this the boundaries are always being extended as new finds are made, but it was now becoming the time to discuss how it would all be developed as a visitor attraction. I was now quite adept at picking out and recording any important new developments and soon had a vlog update posted. I then called in at Darren’s studio to be met with a welcoming hug.

“To what do I owe this pleasure Jo, is it business or just a social call?”

“A bit of both really, let’s deal with work first. How are you getting on with the video presentation of the jetty area?”

“I’ve fished the video editing, but it now needs you to do the voiceover soundtrack, I’ve drafted a script for the commentary, but obviously you will want to put your imprint on it, let’s run through it and see what you think.”

“That’s amazing Darren, it’s exactly what I had in mind. I’ll come over in the morning and we’ll record the soundtrack, and then take it to show Jacqui.”

“We work well togetherJo, a really good creative team.”

“Actually creating a future is what I also wanted to talk to you about. Josie had her baby the other day, a lovely little girl, Clara Josephine, and in Josie’s words, it got me feeling a bit broody. It also made me realise that I, and you, would not be able to have children

I know that you won’t commit yet to a lifetime together, but I have now started my hormone treatment and in about a year should be able to have the final surgery to make me complete. I have a good friend who has offered to carry a surrogate for me to let me have a family like most other women. If I go ahead with that how do you feel about it, would it make any difference to our relationship.”

“It would make a massive difference, I have been thinking something along the same lines, I think it would just bind us even closer together. If you do this, are you going to be the biological father or is it something that you would expect me to help with?”

“Nothing is definite yet, but I think that I would like it to be my child, it would help me develop a maternal connection, but we will have to see how successful it turns out. If you feel that you want a bloodline child as well we can organise something similar for you in the future.”

“Oh Jo, you have made my day, if it were possible I would throw you across the desk right now and get started on making babies.”

I arrived home to find Josie and Jack sitting waiting for me to return.

“Sit down Jo, we have had a long talk and may have a way round your dilemma, but there are a lot of ifs and maybes.If you still feel that you would like to have a baby; if you want to carry on afterwards with your career; if I still want a career after my mind is clearer when the hormone levels have gone back to normal; if the museum is still prepared to let me replace you; and more importantly if Karen is still willing to go ahead now that she has had time to seriously think about it. We have thought of a practical solution. Any doubts or changes of mind so far?”

“I’m happy so far as long as you and Karen are onboard. Go on, tell me more.”

“We now have a big rambling house with plenty of spare rooms. How about if Karen became a live-in childminder, looking after her Marianne, Clara and your future child. I wouldn’t treat her as an employee, she will become almost one of the family. There are all sorts of rules about payments and expenses to childminders, but if we were to give her free board and lodging and an agreed allowance, it should not fall foul of Social Services guidelines. It would make life easier during her pregnancy, we could have our careers, and Karen would have a better lifestyle, a more fulfilling job, and probably more money in the bank, it could be a good outcome for all of us. Do you think that she will go for it.”

“As you said there are a lot of ifs, but assuming they all turn into positives, I think that she probably will. I said to her that we would meet up this weekend, so let’s go ahead, put it to her and see how she reacts.”

Saturday evening after she finished work and had been home to get cleaned up and changed, Karen arrived at my house with Jen, just in time for dinner. We left the discussions about our proposal until afterwards when we were all sitting with drinks.

“Thanks for coming Karen, before we start are you still prepared to have a baby for me? if you are we would like to make a proposal to you. It’s just a suggestion and you can turn down anything you don’t like.”

“I wouldn’t be here if I had changed my mind, I talked it through with Jen, and she is all for it too, but we need to sort out the details.”

Josie explained everything, as initially the relationship and daytime care of Clara and other roles in the house would need to be agreed between them, and that would still stand whether or not the surrogacy went ahead and was successful.

“Just to be clear, I’ll be in your house as daytime childminder, not as a housekeeper responsible for keeping the place clean and tidy or doing the cooking and other household stuff. I don’t mind mucking in and helping though, just as you would expect from any family living with you. As long as you are happy with that it all sounds OK to me, when do you want me to start.”

“No rush, as and when it suits you. You need to sort things out with your house and work, and Jo and I need a bit of time to organise the job changeover with the museum. Jack and I are already living in the house, it was ready to just walk into, you can move in anytime. Obviously Jen is welcome to visit any time she wants, if you’re living with us as family, she’s family too.”

“Ok I’ll move in fully and start day-caring for Clara at the end of the month, I’ll arrange to rent out my house, furnished, so it will just be my personal stuff that I will be bringing with me. I’ll not sell the house for a while just in case, for whatever reason, things do not work out as smoothly as we all expect.”

Now that we had the issues with Darren and Karen under our belts, the next hurdle was talking with Jacqui and agreeing the handover between myself and Josie at the museum and at Ostia, and a few days later we went in to see her and after exchanging a few pleasantries and talking about Clara, we got down to business.

“Jacqui, I have not confirmed yet with the National Trust or Anglia East that I will do their presentations for them, but that is what I am proposing to do. However I have been having a rethink about a better way for this to work. It may not be a long-term career working in the media like that and I would like to keep my interest in Ostia and archaeology in general. I have a proposal that I would like you to consider.”

“As I have said before, I personally, and the County Museum Service too, will be sorry to lose you, so I am interested in any way we can minimise the disruption of you leaving.”

“What I am proposing is that Josie and I take on a job-share arrangement, in general I would remain involved with the exploration works at Ostia, but Josie would progress the development of the site as a visitor attraction, getting involved with the planning of visitor facilities, publicity, exhibition contents and such-like. Obviously as well as sharing the workload, we would also share the salary, so there would be no additional costs to the museum, other than National Insurance (Social Security) payments. I would limit my other commitments to ensure that I reserve time for Ostia. In addition we can provide cover for each other for holidays, family emergencies particularly any illnesses, we can be quite flexible without any significant disruption to our commitments to you.”

“That sounds reasonable and interesting to me, but obviously I will have to discuss it with Christine Carnegie and the HR team, although I can’t see a problem. I’ll come back to you in a couple of days.”

“Thanks Jacqui, if HR have any problems Josie and I are happy to go and discuss it with them.”

“Putting that away to one side, If you don’t think I am being too nosey, how are things going with you personally?”

“If you remember Christine said that in the event of my background being made public it would be easier for HR to deal with it if I was actually on the path to transition rather than just presenting myself as female. Well, that is now underway I have seen a counsellor and have started on a course of hormone treatment, but it’s far too early for it to have had any obvious effects yet.”

“If you don’t mind me saying so, it is a logical step for you, I’m surprised it has taken you so long to come to terms with who you really are. How about your relationship with Darren, how has he taken to it?”

“He is surprisingly comfortable with it, he has had a previous experience with a friend of his who has gone through transition, but we are not making any firm commitments to each other until I am a lot further along the path.”

“Don’t forget, I want an invitation to the wedding, after all it was me that introduced you to each other.” Jacqui replied with a big smile.

After a visit to Ostia to view the progress, including the uncovering of more minor buildings. stables and a communal bathhouse (Thermae), the early equivalent of a spa and sauna, and updating my vlog, I arrived home to find Karen and Jen sitting chatting with Josie, with Clara cradled in Karen’s arms.

“You haven’t wasted any time bonding with Clara, she seems content enough to be with you Karen.”

“When I make a decision I go for it, and don’t hang about. I had someone round this morning to put it on the rental market, and the potential income will more than pay my mortgage and other commitments. I’ve already, with Jen’s help, brought over a lot of my stuff, so I can start to tidy and clean the house for prospective tenants. The agent reckons I’ll have no problems getting a tenant,
so the sooner the house is ready, the better it will be.”

“Josie, you seem to be getting on with Karen, but if it is all happening too fast we can slow it all down.”

“ No, it’ll fine. Apart from anything else, Jack is spending a lot of time in the office getting to grips with everything, and Karen will be company for me.”

“I had a word with Jacqui today and suggested that we job-share, which will free me to do the media work and allow you to make a career and still spend a lot of formative time with Clara. She seemed to like the idea, but we are waiting for an official reply from HR, but it will probably just be a formality.”

“That sounds brilliant, I get the best of both worlds, the career you pinched from me and time with Clara, I still need a bit of time to get myself sorted out, but can’t wait to get started.”

“Karen, I need to have a private chat with you, let’s go out to the summer house.”

“What’s the problem you don’t want to change our agreement do you?’ She said looking and sounding worried.

“No, nothing like that, I wanted to talk about us having a baby together. I’ve been thinking about it, and although I could still manage to do it the natural physical way, I think that emotionally it may be better to be a bit more detached and clinical, and do it artificially, I could get sperm frozen for the future, but that would involve officialdom but I would rather keep this private between ourselves, what are you thoughts?”

“To be honest, I’ve only ever really known you as Jo, and it would feel strange to me having sex with you, I’m not sure that I could really get my head around it, I think that I will be more comfortable using a syringe to get it all under way.”

“The sooner the better, I’m not sure how long I will still be fully functional and fertile. Get yourself sorted out here with Josie and let me know when the time is appropriate for you. Once again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for doing this, it means so much to me.”

We all stayed for dinner when Jack returned, and afterwards the girls and I went back to our homes.I had just settled in when the doorbell rang and I found Maggie on the doorstep.

“Have you got a few minutes, or are you needing to get your dinner together?’’

“No , it’s ok, I ate at Josie’s, I was just going to settle down with a glass of wine in front of the TV, come in and join me.”

“We haven’t had a chat for a while, and you haven’t been to one of our get-togethers recently, but I saw your vlog today about the bath house and thought that it was time we met up again. I was amazed at the way you described the bath house as much as a social meeting place as somewhere to go to get clean.?

“Very much so, they were quite sophisticated places, underfloor hypocaust heating and drainage, braziers with hot coals to add water to create steam, much like a sauna. People met up there to have a social chat in a relaxed atmosphere, and there was generally a fluid social mix from the different classes of society. The romans were very big on cleanliness, and even the barrack blocks for the troops had sophisticated lavatorium washrooms.”

“That’s so interesting, when the site opens to the public you must show me and the others around with your expert knowledge. What are you up to now, I’ve been following the blog but it’s not the same as the visits you organised with us?”

“There are a few things I need to sort out but I am lined up to do some commentaries on the National Trust sites in the county and nearby, for display at the sites, but also to be turned into a series by Anglia East.”

“Oh, that’s fantastic, is there any chance of using us all again as typical visitors, we all enjoyed the visits with you so much?”

“I’m not sure, the format has been agreed yet, but I will see what I can do. I am still not committed to the project yet, I need to have a discussion first with the Regional Director to clear up a few things.”

“Do you want to talk through your doubts, a problem shared is a problem halved, and all that.”

Sooner or later it would be fair to let Maggie into my secret, and this seemed as good a time as any, so I took a deep breath before starting.

“Maggie, you have been a good friend to me since you got to know me, but there is something important that you don’t know. It may come as a bit of a shock to you, but if I tell you something, it has to remain between us. I don’t mean this nastily but you are a bit of a gossip and very quick to pass news on, will you promise, no matter what, to keep it a secret?’

“To save you embarrassment, do you mean that you are not who you pretend to be, but are in fact Josie’s brother Joey, who is supposed to be off on a gap year touring the world?”

“How long have you known?” I spluttered in shock, almost choking on my drink.

“Remember that time that I called and had a chat with Josie when she was still a bit hung-over and dozy? She said something which let out your secret, She then broke down and told me everything, making me promise to keep it a secret, which I have done. I realise that I like spreading stories and pretending to know more than I actually do, but some things are not meant to be discussed.”

“But since then you have still treated me as Jo, as a woman, don’t you feel embarrassed or awkward.”

“When you were Joey I didn’t particularly know you, so really you have always been Jo to me. You look like a woman, talk like a woman, act like a woman, and join in easily with me and my friends as a woman, why would I not treat you as a woman?”

“Thank you so much Maggie, I was dreading having to tell you. Since you already know the most important part of the story, I’ll fill in the details for you. I am now legally Joanne Louise, that’s what it says on my passport, driving licence, bank records, NI records, now it is all official.”

“If it’s not too rude to ask, does that mean you are going to physically become a woman too, you know, having a sex-change operation or whatever it’s called nowadays.”

“I’m not offended, it was the obvious next question to be expected, although the more polite term nowadays in gender-reassignment. Yes, that is what is planned. I am already taking hormones to help feminise me a bit more and in about a year will have the operation.”

“Well, all I can say is ‘about time too’, there is not trace of masculinity left in you, you are already more feminine that a lot of the women I know. Since you are a public figure, on TV and such like ,are you not worried that your true background will come out sometime.?”

“I’ll be surprised if it doesn’t. I’ll face that bridge when I come to it.”

“Is that what you meant when you said that you had a few things to sort out before you agreed to do the commentaries with the National Trust?"

“That’s my next hurdle to be faced, My family know, a few close friends and my bosses at the museum already know, you now know, I now just need to find out if it will affect my career prospects.”

“They’ll be daft if they cause problems, you are brilliant at your job and you are a lovely person, tell it to them straight and see what happens. Even if your career takes a nosedive, you can still look forward to a happy life fully as a woman”

To be continued.