A Muddy Mess - 6 A Different Mess at Sixteen

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A Muddy Mess - 6
A Different Mess at Sixteen


By Jessica C


My big mess now is the feelings…
And romantic emotions with Harrison and Prom...
The reality is that I find Susan’s interest attractive…
=^_^=


I went to sleep with a head full of thoughts and emotions and I woke up with more of the same. I did feel rested. I had my mother’s help with combing out my hair as I got dressed for my first day as Danica in going to school. My clothes for this morning were nice but nothing exciting. A video chat with Melanie allowed me to know I looked pretty as Danica, which gave me some confidence as I face my day.

When I got to breakfast, I was surprised Brien didn’t give me any grief. Dad and Megan had both given him orders to behave. He had now shared the bedroom with my brother, Rick. He said it was all his idea to be nice to me. He even complimented how I looked. He said he planned to enjoy having a sister for now.

Momma told me to put a rush on breakfast as we were seeing Dr. Ramona Newsom at the women’s clinic. She has already been my counselor. I saw her twice when things first began again. She had even seen me as Danica.

I was more comfortable in the waiting room presenting myself as Danica. Though two other girls came in shortly before I was taken to be seen by the doctor. Melanie had advised me to relax and expect the others to see a girl as they expected. “Well Danica, I can see things have changed since we last talked.”

“The breastforms and wanting to go to school as Danica shows you’re ready and eager to begin school as yourself. Please explain the change of seeing yourself as transgender? I thought you were just a boy going to do a favor for a sick woman and her son?”

I said, “I was pretty sure you already knew it wasn’t going to be as simple as I expressed it. I’m still Tim as well as Danica and I’m not gay. But Harrison is inviting me as his prom date. What has changed is the senior girls don’t want me to be a surprise at prom time and to spoil it for them. They offered to help me shop for some girl school clothes, so I could attend as Danica. Mom and I are going to the school after this. Hopefully with a note from you that it is okay that I’m doing this.”

Dr. Ramona says, “If I sign a note for today. It will say you are a transgendered girl. That you’re coming out now and you plan to be a date to the prom. It is my understanding this is being done now as a favor to senior girls as well as the person you’re going with to the prom. Is that something you can acknowledge and own up to?”

She said, “I also agree with whoever suggested you should be part of the school’s LGBT support group.” I tried saying I would consider the possibility but didn’t want to formally say it.

My mother agreed with Dr. Newsom that the support group would be a good idea. With tears, I said, “I never intended to be a girl. Somehow I’m just never been able to stop.”

=^_^=


Dr. Ramona gave me a disc of birth control pills instead of a testosterone blocker. “You don’t want to be on these more than two months or they or they can thwart your body from making its testosterone. We will take a maximum of six weeks to decide what you want to do.”

After having explained everything, the Doctor started to see her regular patients, while her assistant Marge was going over the same things. I guess it was all to make sure we knew and agreed with all we’re doing. Nurse Marge gave me her phone number and email to connect with her over the littlest of stuff.

I did so once during school and again when I got home.

We went to school with my letter from Dr. Ramona. The Principal wanted me to go home and wait until Monday to start. Momma was insistent that I was starting today. She even sent me to my fourth-period history class as she kept talking to the principal and my advisor Mrs. Brandt.

I gave the teacher my pass from the secretary and officially my schooling as Danica had begun. Mr. Spalti announced my name and he told Melanie and Susan to quit hooting.

I did get a note to visit with Mrs. Brandt during my study time. She requested I join a bike-riding class for the remainder of the year to count as my gym requirement. There were two girls’ rooms I was to limit myself to using.

Megan and Becky Johnson talked to me at lunch and we agreed I needed to go get my ears pierced. Megan was becoming more like my big sister and special friend.

I wanted to talk with Harrison before getting my ears pierced. He and the baseball team had two games today. I felt like another girl with Megan as we were watching our boyfriends warming up for the first game. I started to walk away to the car before Meg kissed Brien good luck. I looked up to Harrison and he smiled. “Can you believe it; I’ve never had a good luck kiss.” I tried to kiss him on the cheek, but he turned and we kissed lips to lips. He held me around the waist and I began to feel like I was a real girlfriend.

He said, “Brien does it like this?” He placed his hand to lift my chin and we kissed. It felt good. I know Megan and others watched us. Meg’s smile was all that counted. We left the park and were off to ‘Bling and Bangles’. I could see her look over at my legs or skirt as she drove.

I asked, “Is there something wrong, or is it just me in a skirt?”

Megan said, “Just the opposite. I can’t get over how nice your legs are. And you seem comfortable wearing skirts. I have no trouble seeing why. I’m not sure, but I think Harrison even thinks you’re cute.”

Megan looks at me, “You have something else on your mind what is it?”

I was thinking of Susan Reed but wasn’t sure if I should say anything. Megan looks at me again, “So out with the question? It is about you as Danica with her, isn’t it?”

“Yes, but it’s silly. Halle said, something about Susan liking me as a girl. Did you know that?”

She said, “I kind of guess it is true.” Melanie and I talked about it. Melanie said, she’s more comfortable with you as Danica. Do you like her as well?”

=^_^=


We arrive at the mall with all the stores, and we’re walking inside when Rose, she’s one of the senior girls recognizes me. She’s coming the other way with friends. She stops and asks Megan, “Where are you taking her now?”

“We’re going to Bling and Bangles as if you need to know.” Rose perks up after looking at my ears.

“You’re going to have your ears pierced?”

“I’m getting some earrings, what do you think! I’m not going to be wearing them in my purse.”

Rose giggles, “Well you’re the only boy I know who shops with a purse, so I wouldn’t be completely surprised if you did. Do you mind if we come and watch? You can lose your attitude as we’ll follow along anyway.”

Tiff’s with her, saying, “You look too good as a girl to just be doing this as a favor for Harrison. Are you coming to school the rest of the year as a girl? I’d like to get Chuck to do it even for a day.”

It was kind of fun choosing which earrings and get the help of other girls. It would have been easier if we did it alone. But I don’t think they would have been as pretty. Rose and Tiff each bought and gave me a pair as their idea of a peace offering.

Megan decided to look for a skirt she saw the other day. We found it, or at least one she liked as much. I too thought it was pretty. A thought came to me and I said, “Have you ever thought of talking Brien into dressing as a girl?” I giggled uncontrollably when she blushed. “You did! Have you done it yet?”

Megan said, “You can’t say anything. We’re going to try to do it at one of the senior graduation parties. I’m hoping he’ll go on a date with me dressed up. What do you think?”

=^_^=

Once back in the car, we drove back to the ball field to watch the ball games. The first was about over. Our team won three to two. Brien told Megan, “That was supposed to be our easy game. Harrison is supposed to pitch against their best pitcher. I’m afraid their good hitters will be trouble for him.”

I saw Harrison warming up and went over to the fence to watch him. Bart the catcher said, “Don’t distract him, or Coach will get upset.”

“I just wanted to ask if he liked my earrings. No, I wanted to say two things.”

Harrison said the earrings are very nice to me. “I like you got two piercings. …Now, what’s the second thing?”

“I wanted to say I’ll give you a big kiss if you win the game.”

Harrison threw the pitch even harder, and then said, “I wanted something else.”

“Don’t get selfish!”

“Could you come here just for a moment, please?” Harrison came over, saying, “I know I shouldn’t have spoken out like that. I’m sorry.”

I giggle, “Don’t try so hard pitching that you throw your arm out in three innings.” I kissed him and then turned and walked away. I went to where there were other girls and no boys were sitting. Steph and Halle separated and patted the seat they made open for me. Megan went up first and sat behind where I was to sit.

I thanked them as I felt safe being Danica with them. Both teams had scored one run and now in the third inning the other team was threatening to score with two runners on and Harrison was facing McGregor one of their best hitters. Bart and the Coach went out to talk to him. Harrison knew another pitcher was warming up to come in and pitch. I yelled, “He saved himself until now! Let him pitch! Let him pitch!” Others around us yelled with me.

I don’t know what Harrison said, but the Coach left him in. The Coach as he walked back off the field looked up to us and shook his head. The first pitch to McGregor was much faster and he swung late missing the ball. The next pitch if anything was a bit faster. I was both excited and nervous for Harrison as McGregor had just fouled a ball off. I was sure McGregor felt he would hit the next pitch.

Everything looked the same to me, except the pitch was slower. Stephanie jumped up as she saw something. Their big hitter struck out. Stephanie turned and hugged me. “Do you know what Harrison just did?” She was shouting at me, “He did it! He did it!”

I was excited and happy. I knew the hitter was out and Harrison now had a chance to getting out of the inning without a run-scoring. And he did as the next hitter hit a weak ground ball for the third out.

My Dad told me it is a good thing when someone did a good thing on defense and then was soon up to hit. Brien was up first and singled and was now on second base with one out and Harrison was up to hit. Megan was hugging my shoulders as I was cheering for Harrison.

Megan reminded me, “Madison has their best pitcher pitching. Don’t get your hopes too high.” It was the next pitch and Harrison hit the ball hard down the right-field line. Everyone stood up and became quiet to see if it would land foul or fair. Harrison was running hard. Brien was running but a lot slower to make sure it wasn’t caught. Then when the ball came down and hit fair inside the line. Everyone screamed and cheered. Brien scored a run and Harrison slid safely into third as the third baseman caught a throw and tried to tag him.

Harrison and one more player scored before the inning ended. Madison did score one more run, but our Mustangs won the game 5-2. I was with the other girls at the edge of the field as our players came off at the end of the game.

Harrison picked me up and held me as we swung around in a circle. He was letting me down when I felt my skirt riding up. I tried to hold it down but I wasn’t sure how successful I was. He gave me a big kiss as he was still holding me up off the ground. My startled face must have registered with him. He said he was sorry and finished letting me down.

I said, “Don’t be sorry, I want to be your girlfriend.” Harrison whispered, “Boyfriend.” I hugged him around the neck and he lifted me as he gave me a passionate kiss.

It was almost nine o’clock when Harrison and others came out changed into their regular clothes. Some other players asked if he could get something to eat with them. He couldn’t stay as long because of his mother. He was however going to have a good time. He and Brien both looked at me.

Brien came over to me saying, “I’m sure Mom will support you if you decide to go with us. Just text and ask.”

I said, “Are you going to tell her you’re staying out?” When he said yes, I asked, “Could you ask for the both of us. It shouldn’t be as late for me.”

Brien smiled as he said, “I can’t believe I’m asking this for my sister.” His girlfriend said, “And she makes a neat sister if I say so.”

We went for pizza, more to be with everyone. I was tickled for Harrison as he pitched a great game and he was given the game ball signed by his teammates. He’d talk to me as well as visiting with everyone. “It was nice to have you cheering for me. I thought that was you yelling for the coach to give me a chance to pitch to McGregor. …I think he was going too anyway, but it was nice having you cheer me on. …And I did as you said. I didn’t throw everything hard at first.” He kissed me and I could feel his hands under my blouse. He wasn’t wanting my boobs, just to hold me. Hopefully others, especially Brien were too busy and couldn’t see.

We left early and headed toward my house, but he parked, “I hope you don’t mind, but I’d like to kiss some.” He pushed his seat back and when I moved as close as I could with the middle column there. I leaned over to kiss him and he lifted me with his arms and brought me onto his lap.

I was worried, more I was impressed he wanted me so much. It was tight and I knew he was seeing me as a guy. While as a girl I also wanted to treat him special. It took a good effort before I was facing him and straddled over his lap. He was excited and I could feel it the way I was sitting.

When I was ready to move back to my seat, he said, “O how much, I’d like to make love to you.”

I said, “I know but I thank you for being nice.”

When we got to my house he walked me to the door and said, “I’m sorry, it probably grossed you out with what I said.”

“No, and maybe if biologically I was a girl I’d have tried to influenced you.”

He relaxed to kiss me goodnight. I said, “Come, your prom, I think we’ll need to find a way to be nicer.”

Harrison passionately kissed me more than I had ever kissed a girl. When the kiss was over both of us were very pleased. I quickly went through the door and leaned against it heavily to make sure it closed.

=^_^=


Mom waited before she called out, “Is that, you Danica? …It sounded like the games were exciting. But I’m interested in seeing your earrings.” Oh, yea, the earrings, and piercing were tonight. Though it didn’t feel like the same night. I checked how they looked in the hallway mirror. Mom had come out to the living room and turned on a light to see me.

I told her, “Megan told me, you said I should get two piercings for each ear. I got three pairs. Two girls who saw us there gave me another pair.” I was looking into my purse.

Mom said, “So did you end up getting four pairs or five?” I pulled out the other three pairs and showed them to answer her question.

Momma said, “I’m surprised that you kissed him as much as you did.”

“But you don’t sound surprised or angry Mom.” Momma, had me come to the couch and show me the earring and tell me what all happened? I snuggled up near her.

We had stayed up talking and it was well after eleven when Brien came home. He had to tell me about both games. It was near the end of his talking. He kept looking at me and finally asked, “Did Danica tell you how important she was for Harrison?”

“Mommy, I just told him something Brien told me once.”

“She wished him well, but I don’t think any of his friends did that quite like my sister. Plus when he was in little trouble she yelled for him and got some of the other girls and then more fans to yell as well. …You should have seen his next two pitches Mom even McGregor couldn’t hit them.”

I was going to my room to bed when I heard Brien said, “Mom if someone didn’t know whose Harrison’s prom date they will know tomorrow.”

I quickly showered and took my makeup off and moisturized my face. I knew someone was at my door as I slid my nightie down my body and jumped into bed. “If you’re wanting to say goodnight or something; I’m in bed and covered up now.”

My mother knocked at the door and came in. She came and sat down next to me. She cupped my hand and said, “You need to know I am here for you Danica for whenever you might want to talk as mother and daughter. Today had to be a big day for you. It was even bigger than we planned it would be.”

I was fortunate to have a mother I could talk to at such times. “You need to know the same is true if it would be as Timothy changing his mind.”

‘What do I say,’ I’m thinking? ‘Does she want me to change my mind?’ “Mom, I’m scared. I don’t know what you want me to say. Was that a hint that you want me to back out?”

Momma says, “No, I didn’t mean it that way. If this were fully a girl day and night one’s heart might be all aflutter. And you’d be alone with no one to share your feelings with. When you sat with me; I could tell you had got excited. If you and Harrison kissed as I suspect you did. I think he too had feelings for you. That is a lot to take even if you’re older and more experienced.”

I was now shaking and ready to cry. “Thanks, Mom. I wish I were a lot younger and you could sleep with me. I’m too tired to talk now, but I’d like to. I’m worried however what you might think of me.”

My Momma tells me, “Go to sleep knowing I love you very much. I want you to feel free to talk to me.”

I tried to stay awake and run through the day in my mind. However, it wasn’t long that being tired overtook me.

=^_^=


I was up getting ready for school when Melanie came on my computer screen. “Hi, Danica.’ I set my phone on a small shelf before me as I was just beginning my makeup. I had my spring sundress that I was going to wear. It was hanging on the towel rack behind me. Melanie asked, “Are you going to dare wear that with the strap around your neck as I suggested?”

“Yes with the top in halter fashion. Is that okay with you?”

Mel, “Yes you know it is. I just hope your mother doesn’t talk you into changing it.” I asked what she was wearing and it was one of my favorites. I asked about the shoes and she asked my suggestion. It wasn’t long and I was putting the finishing touches on my makeup. She said, “My how quickly you are becoming very good at doing your face. Did your Mom or someone already talk and suggest how to do it?”

When I said no. She was very impressed and complimented me. “After you eat come back and check with me.”

I asked, “So, did someone ask you to the prom as you thought?”

Melanie responded, “Oh, you irritate me…”

To be continued…

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Comments

Danica or Tim

Jamie Lee's picture

By Harrison's actions it seems he's like Jeff, in that he likes Tim as Danica. Yet, who does he like want, Tim or Danica? Or Tim as Danica?

Tim is still being pushed to be Danica by Melanie, and isn't being given the chance to decide things for himself. When pierced ears were discussed, it was decided for Danica that she was going to get her ears pierced.

And of course, every time Danica does something new or buys something new Melanie thinks she has the right to take pictures and send them to others. What's going to happen if some take exception of Danica and put her in the hospital, all because of Melanie and her picture taking.

With all the girls Tim knows pushing him to become Danica, and making decisions for him, is it any wonder he has trouble knowing who he needs to be?

The girls believe they are doing the right thing in helping Tim, even though they are a hindrance in allowing Tim to make his own decisions.

Others have feelings too.