*Before…

“Breathe?” I say to her smiling.
“Exactly, no parents and no friends and none of what other people around me thought. Just me living and working and making all of my own choices.”
I’m nodding as I’m rolling on some deodorant and then a tiny puff of body spray and then it’s getting into my bra and inserts and getting them right and settled before getting into my bra and then I slip into a skirt that I like and sandals and match it with my camp t-shirt from the lake and Terri helps me do a quick fix with my hair and I’m pretty nervous as we head back out.
Dad smiles and both Grandpa and Grandma are definitely giving me a serious look over and then they both hug me.
Grandma says. “Hello Robin it’s really nice to meet you.”
“Hi…” I can’t help it I’m blushing and she’s doing that grandma thing where she fixes your hair in a good way just to like care-fuss.

*And Now…

It is really strange and still scary to be out and at home with my folks and as Robin home, in my own home.

It’s also really cool the way Grandma is being and I’m honestly most surprised by Grandpa who is such this old school, old farmer and logger and fisherman type I mean he was even in World War Two.

Mom decides to do the family thing even more and she digs out Scrabble since Dad and I only like Risk and well Monopoly just gets folks steamed.

Scrabble’s a learning game in my house so it’s highly approved and Terri and I get to have another peach tea. We’re not buzzing or anything since it’s been awhile since the last one and it’s a very adult kind of things to do.

I don’t think I’m ever going to really be a drinker. I’ve tried it a few times but it hasn’t really been something I’ve liked so far and gin like Gramps like with tonic...wow it smells like the finishing room in wood shop.

Dad sticks to his beer now that he’s not driving and he drinks Keith’s only as it’s like local and maritimer and all that. He’ll drink Moosehead too just not anything from a microbrewery.

Or as Dad calls it Hipster garage batch.

We play and talk and honestly it’s Terri and I taking up a lot of the conversation as we both go off about our summers.

And when it somehow shifted over to make-up it was just us girls and Dad and Grandpa retired to the woodshed.

See this is a guy thing right?

Out there both having a few “pops” and listening to the radio while they chop wood or like split kindling.

I’m good where I am plus it’s neat talking and comparing notes with Terri who learned from Aunt Chris personally and at her work.

And that gets to the point of where to explain things to Mom and Grandma we end up in Mom’s room and have Terri’s trove and my trove and Mom’s things and we start doing makeovers.

Grandma is impressed as she hasn’t really used much past what she was used to for a long time and was interested in how light things are and how much they have changed.

Liquid powder foundation and tone blending an some lighter mascara and eyeliner and using a lip brush and pencil for more definition.

Mom is even pretty dated too.

And we did this for a couple hours before we mud masked all up and made hot chocolate and watched Sisterhood of The Travelling pants.

Plus this started and created Ladies Night.

We’re going to try and do this once a week.

It’s actually pretty late when we’re done and Gramps and Dad were chivalrous and stayed up for Grandma and Mom.

I went to bed after de-masking and with a ladies night planned I’m feeling better about putting things away.

I’ll have a night to Un-Rob myself and to decompress and breathe.

The next morning comes pretty fast and it’s up and doing the chores and it’s not so bad compared to what I thought it was. Maybe I did need some space.

Breakfast was pretty much just toast and cereal and then it was getting to work.

I’m clearing brush which means using the thinning saw which like like a weed wacker but with a circular saw blade on it. Dad is power sawing trees down and we’re clearing a whole new section of the trees near the houses to make another side yard.

We’re buying an old trailer/mini-home to put in here.

Why?

Well for me and Terri to have some private space and to have friends over and I’m kind of thrilled that this will include any of the girls from camp that might want to stay over sometime.

And it was pretty hard on the house having the cousins here so when they are here this will be where they’re staying from now on.

Dad says things are pretty bad for them so this might have to become an emergency shelter for them too at some point in time.

That’s a little worrying.

I mean part of me is kind of selfish and hopes that this won’t happen but some of my cousins they’re families are pretty rough.

A lot of people don’t get that a lot of the time when you’re poor things can get really bad.

Like Mom’s first cousin Sandra.

I like Aunt Sandra she is sort of nice. I don’t know her well but as nice as she seems she’s got a pile of kids. And not to be shaming but she has them from different guys. The first one was the only one she married and that’s Uncle Raymond and he’s...well I’m not going to make any bones about it he’s a piece of shit.

I’m not going to stereotype him with the black thing because those things you see on TV aren’t really a thing here.

But he did leave her and the kids high and dry and never paid alimony or support and from everything I ever heard he takes off out West and works the oil rigs for a season and then gets off and comes back here on full pogie and has all this cash that he parties. And he parties with women a lot younger than him too.

So yeah he’s a piece of shit.

And the black thing?

Well it’s only really a thing because while the black stereotypes aren’t really a thing down here ALL of the racism is.

So my cousins, his kids had to grow up half and that just means all that scorn from folks because they’re half and their dad left and they are both dark skinned, or dark skinned enough that they still got all of the racist stuff full blast.

They live in Truro which is about an hour from Halifax in the other direction from us. Truro is one of those towns that’s kind of a city but not and one of those places too where in a lot of places jobs and stuff were just getting worse.

So yeah things were crap with all of that and add in Aunt Sandra just adding more bad choices in her guys...and three more kids all of five of them are girls that’s just… bad and Aunt Sandra being a single mom never really worked.

Which just added to things.

Then there’s my Aunt June my Dad’s sister.

Who is married to this real asshole Uncle Ralph.

Yeah like puke.

He and her have four kids and he’s like biblical mean to his kids and strict. Just without the bible. All four are boys so they’re...well he’s not a good dad and he drinks a lot too.

He won’t come here.

Aunt June won’t either or she won’t come and stay she’s loyal to Ralph for whatever insane reason. But he won’t come here. It was even before I was born I guess and there was a fight and more than just words like fist flew.

Dad and him went at it hard and I guess gramps went and literally got the shotgun.

It’s been sort of we don’t talk unless we have to.

The two youngest boys come here after Jason who’s the oldest took off outwest when he was sixteen. And after taking the brunt of Jason being gone Mathew ran away here.

Or tried to he got lost and called Dad to come and get him.

Somewhere out by Great River soaked from hitching in the rain.

Stuff was said between my folks and Aunt June and The two younger Tanner and Davey come here. Matt used to but he has a girlfriend now that he pretty much lives with.

I know I’ve complained before and things but...camp, some of the stuff my friends went through.

I can get the need with my cousins if things get worse.

I still want this space for my friends to come here at least a few times between coming to camp.

So I’m working hard.

And Terri is working hard too since this place will be here for here and her friends too.