Breathing...Chapter 4

*Before…

Mom shudders. “Eeeeeww...Gin’s gross.”

Aunt Chris laughs at her. “That’s a reaction that speaks of a story, you’re so going to tell us right?”

I’m looking at Mom and so’s Terri and Mom’s looking at us and has this look on her face. “Holy...you two look so much like you’ve always been sisters.”

I look at Terri and she’s looking at me and she has that looking at me harder like she did before I left.

I step up and hug her. “I’m not sure about so much but I learned that I really want to get to know my sister a lot more…”

She hugs me back and she sniffles. “Me too!...I...I actually missed you when you went away for the summer…”

*And Now…

It’s really different to actually feel this way compared to how things between us have always been all of our lives. I mean it’s not like we hate each other at all it’s that Rob and Rob’s life was really different in so many ways.

And frankly I was jealous of the things she did and her chores and all the stuff that was different between us.

Moonlake showed me so many things and so many different people that I don’t feel that way any more and i want to get to know Terri a whole lot more.

And I’m serious about that because after knowing the girls in our cabin I can see that with my sister I’ve only barely scratched the surface.

And way more than that with Mom and Aunt Chris and even my grandmother.

We go from hugging to sitting at the table together as dessert is baking off and with some prompting from Aunt Chris and a glass of wine Mom embarrassedly starts telling us about when she was going with some guy called Josh Perkins and I know that Terri’s wracking her brain to figure out if we know him or not and she tells us about a party she had been to and the fight that broke them up.

Apparently he thought that she was easy and that it was something that was going around school for her given our other Aunt and that people thought it was like because of where she grew up and how poor they were.

She doesn’t go into that too much but she did have a few extra close together swallows of her wine as she mentioned that.

And she talks about this other girl named Kit who again is someone we don’t know and that Kit and her had just met that night and she had seen the whole thing go down and she offered Mom some Gin.

Actually she does say Gin and Tonic and Mom makes a face. “I had one and it wasn’t so bad but after that one hit I was so angry and wanted to do something that justified all the stuff Josh and his buddies had been saying I started drinking it straight.”

We all winced.

Mom looks at us. “And how do you two know how bad straight booze is?”

We both chuckle and Terri says. “Really Mom? I mean it’s home you literally can’t go to a dance without someone having booze.”

I nod. “I’m not a drinker though, it’s just a lot of the people that show up at the school dances are usually well lit when they get there and they’re kind of…”

Terri finishes. “Assholes.”

I nod. “There’s zero shortage of people home at school that are instant assholes just add alcohol.”

Mom looks at us. “You do know to not get into a car with someone that’s been drinking right?”

We both nod.

That’s kind of a no brainer, even in our grades as things are we all know people that crashed and died or were hit by a drunk driver or hurt even there’s no shortage of that happening in rural Nova Scotia either.

She smiles. “Good, and while I’m not impressed with either of you drinking i’m not going to blast you for it. Some stuff doesn’t change...but if I ever catch either of you coming in with booze on your breath when you’re underage then they’ll have to make up a new word for how grounded you’ll be.”

We’re both nodding and the cake is soon done and we’re having it how which is actually really good.

And I take some out to Dad and I sit with him. “Feeling left out?”

He was watching TV and pauses the show. “No, you all are having a good time I’m just Netflix and chilling.”

I grin. “I really hope not dad you’re supposed to do the chilling behind closed doors.”

He blinks. “What!?”

I laugh. “It’s slang for hooking up Dad, getting some.”

He blushes and covers his face with his hand. “Oh dear god I’m old.”

I laugh some more. “Have you used that with Mom?”

He’s nodding.

“And she didn’t know either right?”

He nods again.

“Next time tell her to google it.”

He drops his hand and he grins at me. “I just might have to do that.” he eats some cake and asks. “So how are you holding up?”

“I’m okay, it’s still really strange being Robin around you and Mom.”

He nods. “I hope you know that we’re behind you kiddo, I mean people go through lots of stuff and kids that are well LGBT are usually going through a lot of stuff from things I know through your Aunt Chris and stuff that I’ve read.”

I sit back further into the couch and pull my legs under me. It’s more comfortable that you think only it’s just one of those really coded gender deals that guys or non-femme guys aren’t socially allowed to do.

“I’m actually still thinking of all the stuff ahead Dad. What is home going to be like or feel like and I kind of like being Robin but I have no idea how going back to Rob’s going to feel and then there’s school and town and the grandparents and just me trying to walk back into my old life and there’s just so much that’s changed about me.”

“Like being Robin?” He asks.

I nod and pull a small couch cushion in front on me and I hug it. “And the fact I like me, her, I like being Robin and that when I’ve been Robin I’ve met a guy and talked and danced and stuff and it was so much not the end of the world.”