I knew that my bravado over the farm had not fooled Cheryl for one second but I needed some time to think.
That bloody TV show! If it hadn’t been for that I’d still be in Yorkshire in a dead-end job fixing bloody busses and not having to fight my emotions like I was right now.

Then I looked around me. At the sea. At the sky. At the village behind me. This was a far cry from a former pit village in South Yorkshire and a job fixing busses, it wasn’t all bad.
However, I just wanted to curl up and die each time I remembered that TV show.

I had barely gone half a mile when I sensed that I was not alone. I turned around and found both Holly and Cheryl just a few yards away.

I glared at them but it made no difference.

“The last thing you need at the moment is to be alone,” said Holly.

“What you need is your family around you,” said Cheryl.

“So here we are. Helping you out just like you have helped us and everyone else you have touched since you found your true vocation,” added Holly.

I knew when I was beaten. As a double act, they were pretty formidable.

The three of us hugged each other for several minutes.

When we broke apart, Holly said,

“William is going home if we aren’t back in an hour. He has a farm to run after all. If that is the case then I’d like to stay for a few days if that is alright?”

“You know it is.”

“Good. Then we can plan doing some girly things for just the three of us. How about a Spa day?” suggested Cheryl.

I smiled back at them.

“Nice idea girls, but have you forgotten that I have a little thing between my legs that makes going for a massage and a sauna a tad embarrassing, don’t you think?”

They both giggled.

“I’m sure Charlie knows someone who knows … well you get the idea,” suggested Holly.

“Sorry girls. I’m not really the spa sort. But I’m sure a bit of retail therapy in London or Bristol would do just as well.”

Then I added,
“But at the moment, I’d rather be here with you two.”

Then we wrapped our arms around each other.

“Thanks girls.”

“We were worried about you,” remarked Cheryl.

“As we said, you give so much but get nothing in return. What could we do to change that?” added Holly.

“I don’t know. I have you lot as my family. I want to help this community. I…”

“Stop right there,” said Holly almost shouting.

“Eh?”

“There you go again, wanting to help others. What can we do for you? Not help others but you?”

“What I really, really want can never happen so let’s not talk about it again.”

Holly laughed.

“I know what it is,” said Holly smiling.

We both looked at her.

“Come on Mum admit it, you want to be a mother. I’ve seen the way you look at Ruby’s son Owen. You spoil him as if he was your own son.”

It was as if someone had driven a stake through my heart. Then it sunk in, she’d called me ‘Mum’.

“What’s with the ‘Mum’ thing?”

Holy grinned.

“Because you have been more of a mother to me than that apology of one that gave birth to me. As far as
I’m concerned, you are my Mum and always will be so no arguments. Got it?”

My silence gave the game away.

Cheryl took my hand and led me away from Holly.

“Why the hell didn’t you say something? I’ve been wanting to be a mother with you for months now.”

“You mean?”

“Yes, you stupid cow, come back to the house and fuck the daylights out of me until I get pregnant, and again and again until you decide we have enough brats then you can properly join the female race.”

We kissed for a long time. It may have been the first really passionate kiss I’d ever had. When we broke free, Holly had left us alone and returned to the cottage.

“As we are alone, why don’t we just enjoy the moment?” said Cheryl.

I didn’t argue. I was too emotionally drained to even begin but she was right.

It was dark before we got back to the cottage. Holly and William were long gone. We just headed for the bedroom and a long might of passion.

~o~O~o~
As luck would have it, the day that Cheryl gave birth to our firstborn, we got planning permission for just about everything we wanted to do for the village. Anyway, back to more important matters, the 7ib 12oz baby was beautiful a girl we named Julie Gloria after the two women who had helped me on this path right at the beginning.

At the Christening, Julie and Gloria in all her Blackpool glitter became God parents. When we explained to the Vicar how important Gloria had been in my life he agreed to let her become joint ‘godmother’. Later the Vicar admitted to having seen the show that I was part of all those years ago. Neither Gloria nor I let on that I was in it. Just seeing Gloria in all her finery is enough to indelibly mark most people’s memory for life.

Everyone was there including Charlie who’d even brought his passport with him because we were so far from London he thought he might need it. He got teased about that but took it in good faith.

Ruby had baked the Christening Cake which even Charlie liked. He was caught trying to leave with the whole second tier. After a good laugh, Ruby promised to bake him one and send it to him.

At the end of the day Cheryl and I went for a walk along the sea wall.

“There, that isn’t so bad, now is it?” said Cheryl.

“No, it’s not.” I replied hugging her just tight enough not to crush the baby.

“Good job too. I’m up the duff again. I tested myself this morning.”

I kissed her for what seemed an eternity. She and Holly were right, letting people do things for me because they want to is not all that bad after all.

As the Beatles song goes,
Help! I need somebody
Help! Not just anybody
Help! You know I need someone
Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being 'round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won't you please, please help me

For the first time in my life, I had people who’d give me the help that I needed without asking why. Despite all my hang ups and phobias, I felt settled for the first time in my life. Having one child and with another on the way certainly helped.

As we returned from the walk, Cheryl said to me,

“I think we need a new car for our expanding family?”

I stopped and looked into her eyes with a smile on my face and said,

“I was just thinking the same thing.”

I hugged her tightly.

“You can choose it.”

“Why?”

“With a little help from my friends and the one that I love, I have all the help that I need. All I needed to do was learn to accept it.”

We kissed long and hard right there. We’d both crossed a threshold in our lives and were now really ready to go forward with the next phase whatever that might be.

[The end]