Thursday started out totally and utterly normal if that’s even possibly a thing I can manage. I really can’t think of much to write about waking up, dressing for school, or going through the business of my ever-so-enthralling education. Let’s just assume that it went like previously described mornings. I faked Alex, and most people believed it to varying extents.

My trip to see the good doctor the night before was still at the forefront of my mind. While I knew who I was and always had, it was highly validating to be told ‘you’re not insane.’ by a medical professional. To have Mom and Dad know that their child had something she was dealing with and that it could be cured; by transitioning. It made my traumatic journey finally feel like it had a direction.

Some people feel as though being trans is enough, and that’s ok. I will admit, for myself at this time in the world, it really wasn’t. In the early 2000s, it was still super unknown and really misunderstood. Having a doctor tell me that it was real and that my entire childhood’s worth of frustration and pain was real and valid felt like breaking through thick clouds into the sunlight.

Was I expecting to get thrown on an operating table tomorrow and be in the girls’ school by Monday? No, that would be highly unrealistic, even for trans-fiction. I was already well aware that I’d have to wait till I was eighteen for any form of surgery and scholastically, the chances of them transferring me mid-term was quite low. Would I make Christmas? I didn’t like the idea, but it was most practical if I was honest. With my life at home my own, I was pretty positive that I’d make it in one piece, at least psychologically.

“Hey, Alex,” Rick called cheerfully as we made our way into the dining hall for lunch. “How’s it going?”

His hair looks so good today; I want to run my hands through it and… bad Holly, no. “I’m good,” I smile neutrally. “you?”

The big puppy dog grins like an idiot as he falls in alongside me. “Yeah, awesome. Still down for this weekend?”

It takes me a second to remember, it’s been a busy few days for me. “Oh, The movie? Yeah, I’m down; I can’t wait! Remember though, no horses, okay?”

“Oh yeah,” he grins, remembering our misadventure. “No horses this time, I promise.”

“No horses where?” Carson chips in as we take our places at the table.

“Oh, I was promising Alex that there would be no riding this weekend. Last time he was over he ended up in a creek.”

“I keep forgetting you’re a damn cowboy, Taylor,” the quarterback smirked. “What you guys doin’?”

“My sis got me this new movie release from Japan, we were gonna chill and watch it and play video games.”

“Bro, you still watching that Anime stuff?” Carson chuckled. “You’re such a nerd.”

“I like it, ok?” Rick replies not taking his friend’s words as insulting. “Your dumbass watches ancient reruns of fifties sitcoms, I don’t wanna hear it.”

Is this what it’s like when the cool kids defend watching Anime? Holy crap, perhaps it’s not fatal nardism after all.

The conversation continues while we serve out today’s offering to the baying hoard of Sophomores and Freshies. It’s so strange to feel genuinely included now, here at lunch. No longer is it something I suffer for the sake of fuel, but a genuinely enjoyable relaxing time of day. Carson and Rick include me in their conversations and others talk freely. Even the Sophomores who are capable of stringing a few words together around their food don’t feel the need to play up to Count Von Dickstain anymore. I don’t blame them; boys are impressionable.

It’s honestly a shame that I’ll leave this school soon. I know this is not where I belong, but it hasn’t been entirely awful. Ironically, it’s this semester that has made it the most pleasant and tolerable. I suspect a large portion of it is perception and perspective. Now that most people, hell, even the school know about me, I don’t feel anywhere near as afraid.

“You coming to the game tomorrow?” Rick asks as we’re walking back to the common room.

“I shou…. Oh, no I can’t, I’ve got a doctor’s appointment,” I fib professionally. Tomorrow about an hour before the game, I have my meeting with the Girl’s Division principal. The chances of me making it home, becoming Alex, and returning to the game? Impossible, as much as I love seeing Rob play.

“You got a Doctor’s appointment that late on a Friday? Damn, that sucks. You’re are alright aren’t you?”

“They just want to make sure I’m good after the concussion. Checkup stuff, and hospitals don’t live on normal hours I guess.” I shrug dismissively. I do detest lying, but it’s necessary here.

Rick nods his understanding as we enter the common room. “Still, it would have been cool to see you there. It’s inspiring to go out there knowing you got someone cheering for you.”

“Excuse me? I cheer for Rob, Buster.”

Rick shrugs, “Hey, it’s in the friendship contract that you gotta cheer for me too at games, you signed it.”

“Nah dude, you got this backwards.” Rob appears beside us throwing his arm around Rick’s shoulder. “Spike only cheers for the D line, not you glory boys."

Their fighting for my affection is… really surreal. “I’m going to start cheering on the opposition if you both don’t quit it already.”

“It’s gonna be weird is all, you not being there,” Rick shrugs.

“Oh, the dentist thing?” Rob asks, throwing his considerable size onto one of the poor tortured sofas.

Rick turns to me and frowns. “I thought you said, Doctor Alex?”

Panic, think fast… “Uh yeah, tooth doctor.”

“Tooth Doctor?”

“I mean… I guess. They are doctors after all?”

Rick looks at me like I’m crazy. “Are you feeling ok?”

I make a face, “I don’t think I am.”

 

 

I got back home on Friday afternoon after a generally worry-free day. I had survived all the pep rally nonsense and not a single gender-related shenanigan had occurred; magical, I know. Now, I found myself sitting on my bed trying to work out what to wear to one of the most important meetings of my young life.

“Nah, not the jeans, it has to be a skirt.”

Kara shook her head emphatically. “Pants, we need to show she’s a normal girl, not a stereotype.”

“She is here.” I sighed, rolling my eyes as my two best friends fought over my outfit.

Honestly, I’m still working out what I like to wear and I did the only sensible thing I could do; I called my BFFs. I’ve no shame in admitting I don’t really know how to girl what well yet. I might be female, but this kinda stuff is learned and not some innate built-in ability.

Meg rummages in my wardrobe and pulls out a white blouse, black vest, and a matching pleated skirt. “This; it’s simple, clean, and stylish. It shows who she is while being reserved. We couple it with some light makeup and leave her hair down and straight but pulled back from her face. It’s going to give ‘young, feminine with a side of virginal innocence.’ Hard to really call her a boy.”

“They’ll still think it,” I admit sadly.

“Not a chance,” Kara refutes adamantly. “Not a single person that actually meets you will think you’re a boy. Anyway, we’re coming with.”

“You are?”

“Yup,” Meg agrees. “We spoke to your Mom last night; we’re both coming along for moral support and to speak on your behalf.”

My heart melts at their support. “You didn’t have to do that, but I love you guys.”

Que the photo moment as we all have a good soppy cuddle. I’m not kidding, I love these girls. They have become the most important people to me in the world besides my family. Ever since they found out about me, they’ve treated me as an equal and a friend; for a depressed loner, it’s a wonderful feeling.

I change into the clothes that Megan had picked out. She’s always been the fashion-conscious sister and I trust her advice without question. I will admit, it feels a tiny bit preppy, but the girl looking back at me in the mirror looks like she would belong at our school. It’s almost a cross between our uniform and a country club day out.

Once I’m dressed, Meg brushes out my hair and clips it back behind my ears while Kara goes to start working on my face. We’re not going nuts; a little gloss, a little mascara, a tiny bit of powder to just take the shine off my skin and we’re done. Our goal is to hit school appropriately; show I fit with the other girls and that I can meet the uniform standards and not cause any trouble. Me? Cause trouble? I would never do anything of the sort.

When we’re done, the girl staring back at me in the mirror is undeniably that; a teenage girl. She looks ready to kick preppy butt, but she is, in fact, me. It’s not what most girls would wear to class day to day, but it might be what a conservative fuddy Principal will prefer.

The girls take off home to get changed into something schoolworthy themselves; shorts and camisoles aren’t likely to be suitable for the trip, out of school hours or not.

I’m in the kitchen getting myself a soda when Dad comes in the front door.

“Hey Dad, drink?”

The paternal unit stops in the doorway and just stares at me, a strange look on his face, “You look beautiful Holly.”

I walk over and hug him, “Thanks Dad, that means more than you can possibly imagine.”

He strokes my hair and lifts my face towards his. “You’re nervous, aren’t you?”

I consider the question before nodding slowly, “Yes, I suppose. I think a part of me would love to make it simple and go someplace where nobody knows me, but I think I have to face this head-on. I’ll be able to learn and make mistakes here, I can be myself and not have to hide all over again. I have Meg and Kara and I have Rob. I don’t want to throw that away.”

“That’s very mature of you Honey,” Dad admits, leaning back against the counter. “Both your Mom and I agree this would be the best situation for you. Tough? Sure, but it will be the best in the long run. It will set you up for college.”

“I’ll need to get past this meeting first.”

Dad winks. “You go this darling. I have absolutely no doubt that you’re going to knock ‘em dead.”

 

 

Arriving at school after hours is always a slightly surreal experience for any kid. Now try arriving at the girls' school, presenting to all the world as a girl, and accompanied by your parents; yeah, it’s some real twilight zone shit for a transgender person, I can tell you.

The distance from the visitor’s parking lot in the central quad was thankfully rather short. I’m not lazy, but with there being a home game tonight, I was quite nervous about running into someone I knew. The last thing I needed was all of this blowing up and out of my control.

With Meg and Kara in tow, we signed in at the front office and were permitted entry into the building. Being essentially a mirror of the Boys’ Division, I wasn’t entirely surprised to find the Principal’s office up the main staircase and on the south wing. Once the receptionist had deposited us in her waiting room, we were left to our devices.

“Feels weird being back after school,” Meg muttered. “I usually try to avoid the Principal’s attention.”

“Usually being the operative word,” Kara snickered. “It wouldn’t be your first time.”

The outer door opened and a tall Hispanic woman entered, wearing a beautiful charcoal skirt suit. She was in her early fifties by all reports, although her caramel skin appeared far more youthful than her age. Her dark, wavy hair was pulled back into an elegant Chignon behind her head. Spotting our group, she smiled warmly, although her lip quirked as she spotted Megan.

“I don’t believe we have a scheduled disciplinary for you today, Miss Byrne.”

“No Ma’am, not this time. We’re here for Holly.”

The woman’s eyebrows rose as she turned in my direction. Ah, Miss Winters.”

Gulp.

My Mother stood and offered her hand to the Principal, “Veronica Winters, Principal Carlos. My husband and I greatly appreciate you taking the time to see us this evening.”

The Principal took her hand and smiled. “These are most unusual circumstances, Mrs Winters, but I’m looking forward to speaking with you this evening. My colleague across the way has filled me in on a great many of the pertinent details.”

“Given the circumstances around that conversation, you can understand our desire to ensure our daughter’s safety.”

The Principal nodded and glanced across at me briefly. “Certainly, although I would love to speak with you both first on your own. Once we have covered some groundwork, perhaps Holly can join us?”

Ah, excluded from the adult table, deep joy.

Without further pleasantries, Mom, Dad, and the Principal retreated through the door and into her inner office leaving me and the sisters to our own entertainment.

“Well,” I sighed, glancing around the waiting room. “She seemed pleased to see me.”

“Eh, she’s always like that, don’t worry,” Meg waved dismissively.

Kara was about to make a cutting remark about her sister’s more colorful scholastic record when the outer door to the office opened and a rather familiar senior breezed in.

“Monica? What are you doing here?”

“Duh, It’s my Mom’s office.”

Sigh, why me? Wait, her Mom’s office… Oh fuck.

“Oh, yeah duh, silly me, of course it is!” I grin sheepishly. “You not going home before the game?”

“Nah, no point,” she shrugs, dropping into the Secretary’s chair and propping her high-heeled boots up on the table. “Kinda a waste of time with my pregame commitments. Plus, Mom wanted me to help her with something.” She glances at Meg and smiles like a shark, “you in the shit again, Megan?”

“Why does everyone always assume that I did something wrong?” Megan groans.

“Because you usually did,” her sister snerks, dodging an elbow in the process.

Monica turns her attention back to me and raises an eyebrow. “I’ve not seen you around since the game the other week, you really are a quiet mouse.”

Shit, shit, shit.

“Yeah, I guess I keep to myself a lot; I like the library.”

Monica raises an eyebrow and returns to digging through her handbag before pulling out a bottle of nail polish. “Fair enough I guess, each to their own. There is no reason to though, you seem pretty tight with these two.”

I glance at the two sisters beside me and smile, “Yeah, I am; they’re my best friends.”

“So why are you never in the common room?” She asks, idling touching up a chipped nail.

“She just really doesn’t like to mix with a lot of people,” Kara offered. Her expression told me she was as nervous as I was about this little complication.

“So what’s your Mom dragging you in here for after school that she can’t do at home?” Meg asks.

“Mom wanted me to meet with some new student who’s transferring in,” she shrugged dismissively. “Waste of my time honestly, but she wants to see what I think of them.”

I glance at Kara and grimace, “she’s going to find out in a minute.”

“Yeah, lay the groundwork?”

“What are you two on about?” Monica asks, furrowing her brow. “What am I missing here?”

“Uh, you know how you think I go to school here?”

Monica looks between the three of us and nods slowly, “yeah?”

“I do, but you’ve never seen me around… because I go to the boys’ division normally. I’m the one transferring… to here.”

Monica looks at me, I look at Monica. Somewhere, far away a penny drops.

Monica gawps at me and looks confused. “ but how? You’re a girl.”

I shake my head sadly, “not according to some.”

“Huh?”

Megan steps forward and takes my other hand. “She’s transgender, Monica, she was born a boy but she’s really a girl like us; it doesn’t matter where she started. Even you yourself thought she was a girl when you first met her and she was trying to be a boy back then.”

“But you were calling her Holly?”

“Well duh, we knew her real name, and… nobody was meant to overhear that.”

“I was supposed to be a boy then,” I admit with a sheepish grin. “As you can tell, I kinda sucked at that.”

“No shit,” Monica breathes. “So how the hell do you look like a girl?”

“Hormones,” I answer. “Long story short, I’m on medication to block the boy stuff and others to give me a girl’s puberty.”

“Dude, that’s wild.” the senior breathes. “I swear I thought you were just a regular girl this entire time. No wonder I never saw you around school.”

“You did kinda assume,” Kara points out. “Holly never lied though; she does go to our school and she is a junior… just over there.”

“How the heck do they think she’s a boy?”

Megan snickered, “Welcome to the dilemma.”

“You know, it’s nuts,” she admits. “Even now that I know about you, I can’t sense anything boyish. You’re like, super pretty, for real.”

“People are quite stupid,” Megan offers, “even her brother had no idea.”

“Oh god,” Monica gasps, slapping her hand over her mouth. “At that game where we met; afterward I called you Holly and Rob’s sister in front of him!”

I grin nervously. “Yeah… that kinda outed me.”

“He didn’t know already?”

I sigh. “I’ve been keeping it to myself until fairly recently. I was hiding because I was convinced everyone would hate me. Stupid, I know, but I was dumb and paranoid.”

“You poor thing,” she replies softly. “That’s rough.”

The door to the office opens and Principal Carlos looks in. “How are we doing in here?”

“We’re good Mom,” Monica offers. “I was just saying sorry to Holly.”

“What did you do?” She asks suspiciously, an eyebrow going up in that way all parents seem to be able to manage.

Monica gives me a sheepish grin before returning her attention to her mother. “A few weeks back I was chatting to the girls here after the game and I flubbed and called her Rob Winter’s sister in front of him because I thought she was at the time.”

“I don’t follow.” Principal Carlos replies, looking lost.

I step forward and smile nervously. “Ma’am, if I may? I was still presenting as a boy at the time like I do all the time at school. I was as yet not ‘out’ to my family about who I am. So when Monica saw me with Megan and Kara she assumed I was a girl and dropped me in it with my brother. It went ok in the end but she only just realized what had happened.”

“I see,” the older woman concluded. “Monica, the other thing?”

The senior girl looks at me and smiles. “Yeah Mom, even pretending to be a boy, she’s a girl.”

The Principal nodded and smiled thinly, “Thank you, Monica. Would you like to join us in my office, Miss Winters?”

With a last squeeze from Megan, I follow the Principal into her office and take the offered chair beside my parents. Once seated behind her desk, Principal Carlos turns her attention to me at last.

“As you may have gleaned from your conversation, I had asked my daughter to come here to give me her impressions of you Miss Winters. I hope you are not insulted, but I was not entirely certain who would be presented to me this evening. Having a student transfer from the Boys’ to the Girls’ Divisions of our great school isn’t something that I’ve ever had to deal with during my time here. I suspect it’s a fairly rare occurrence in our history, if it has ever happened at all.”

I sit in silence, unsure if I’m meant to say anything, but Mom and Dad don’t look upset; positive?

The Principal continues, “From what my daughter indicated just now and having spoken already with your friends this morning, I have no doubts you’d be far better suited with us than your current arrangement.”

“You spoke with Kara and Megan today?” I frown.

Principal Carlos nods, “They came to see me at lunchtime to speak in your favor. They indicated that they were aware we were having this meeting and wanted to lend their testimony. You have very loyal friends, Miss Winters.”

Her words filled my heart with joy. I knew that we were best friends, but they’d managed to keep that fact from me. I wasn’t mad, more happily surprised; I really love those two.

“I don’t want to cause a disruption, Ma’am.” I offer. “I realize this is very unusual but I just couldn’t cope living the way I was. Now, I’m struggling to stay under the radar with the physical changes that are happening to me.”

“Your parents informed me,” Carlos agrees. “From what my opposite number indicated, several teachers had expressed questions in that direction.

Oops.

“I didn’t set out to deceive anyone, but I wasn’t willing to let myself develop like a boy,” I admit quietly. “I couldn’t… become that.”

Principal Carlos smiled sympathetically. “I cannot relate personally but the concept seems unpleasant. Don’t think I have no sympathy for your case Miss Winters, but I also have an entire school of girls to care for and their parents. In an ideal world, this wouldn’t be a big deal, but our world is far from ideal. Attitudes to persons in your situation are not yet as enlightened as I’d hope.”

She looked towards the window before returning her gaze to me. “Tell me, Miss Winters. What do you hope to do with yourself going forward?”

Did she mean job? Education or next week in class?

“I hope to graduate and attend medical school. I’d like to be a doctor like my Mom. I’m working incredibly hard to keep my grades high, but I am losing out a little on phys ed.”

Principal Carlos smirked at that comment. “I can imagine that class is a little tricky for you presently.”

“Less so with the gym membership Ma’am, but yes, it’s still very awkward.”

“Loath as I am as a businesswoman to lose a paying student place, as an educator and a parent I have to ask, why wouldn’t you rather go to a school where nobody knows your past? Clearly, you would have no trouble being seen as a girl?”

I glance over at my parents before returning my attention to the Principal. “I’m really new at this; living my life correctly. I might look like any other girl but I don’t know much about how to function in society as a young woman. If I go to another school I might be taken as female, but I’d live in constant fear of discovery because I wasn’t equipped with the same lessons other girls have. I’d also be terrified that someone would discover that I’m different. If I come to school here, not only do I already have friends, but I can learn to move through this world like other girls do and I can do it safely. I’m not ashamed of being transgender, but I know I’ll need to focus on my studies, not ensuring nobody discovers my past.”

Principal Carlos smiles. “That’s an incredibly mature viewpoint, Miss Winters. This state says that as a transgender child under medical treatment, you are entitled to use the changing facilities and bathrooms with the other girls. What would you say to another girl who had an issue with your presence?”

“Obviously, I’d like to Ma’am,” I admit, “but I’m also aware that who I am will be no secret. I know some people might be uncomfortable with the idea. I don’t want to force myself on anyone against their will. I’d rather use a gender-neutral or disabled bathroom and the same would go for changing rooms; I might have the right to do so, but I have to consider how I’d feel in their place.”

I blush slightly and pause, “I would never dream of doing anything inappropriate, I’m… not interested in girls, Ma’am.”

The Principal’s lip quirks slightly at my remark and I think she is picking up what I’m putting down. “The staff and I would be willing to protect your right to use those spaces, Miss Winters, but I can accept your desire to consider other's feelings. When you attend this school I’ll make the staff toilet available for your use. If you change your mind and wish to use the girls' facilities, I have no problem with that.”

“When, Ma’am?”

Principal Carlos smiles and nods. “Yes Miss Winters, Starting on the first day of the Spring term, I look forward to welcoming you as one of my students.”

Mental calculations; it’s the start of November, which makes it six weeks until the end of the semester. That’s going to be quite a challenge, but it’s not insurmountable, probably.

“No sooner?” My mother asks. “I’m sure you can see, Holly is struggling to present as a boy, even now.”

The Principal smiled apologetically, “I’d give her a place today, but with her studies where they are, I’d feel better with her finishing out the Fall semester where she is. This way she’s in the right place academically. It’s also far less disruptive to class sizes and placements if we introduce a new student at the start of the semester if possible. If I recall correctly, she’s also on a class trip this December, correct?”

“Yes Ma’am, to Germany.”

Principal Carlos nods, “It would be less disruptive, especially considering that. Imagine if we transfer your daughter and she ends up attending this trip and confronting her former classmates in a foreign country. I would also be right in assuming her paperwork and passport are all currently in her, old, name?”

“Yes, that would be correct.” Mom concedes, shooting me an apologetic look. “This has been rather sudden for us.”

Carlos smiles apologetically. “As you can see, this would ease multiple potential issues for her, and my colleague across the way is in agreement that this would be most suitable. I realize it might be difficult for you, but patience will be a virtue.”

“On that note, to ensure your safety, we will need to tell your teachers for your Germany trip, and otherwise a select few will be made aware to ensure your privacy and safety are paramount. In addition, your requirement to attend gym class, even the off-site membership will be waived without impacting your grade.” The principal paused and smiled. “That of course will change in January once you’re one of my girls. I’ll expect full regular participation, Miss Winters.”

I couldn’t hide my smile, “Yes Ma’am.”

When we walked back out into the foyer, the grin on my face was enough to tell Meg and Kara what the result was. Before I could make it three feet, I was assaulted by huggles.

“I assume this pleases you two?” Principal Carlos enquired, watching the giggly bouncy mess happen before her.

“Yes Ma’am,” Kara grinned. “We’re excited to have Holly where she belongs.”

“She’s very lucky to have friends like you two.” she agreed. “I look forward to seeing you in January Miss Winters.”

As we walked back downstairs, I spotted Monica waiting at the foot of the stairwell. Sensing she wanted to talk, the others went on ahead and left us be.

“Hi,” I offered, not quite sure what to say at that moment. “Your Mom seems nice.”

Monica smiled and shifted her weight awkwardly. “Yeah, Mom’s pretty good, but having your parent be a teacher is bad. When they are the Principal? God it never ends.”

“Try having one that’s a doctor,” I offer in return.

“Look,” Monica begins, giving me an earnest smile. “I really had no idea about your brother, I’m so sorry I put you in a weird position.”

“It’s not your fault,” I shrug. “Well, it is, but it’s ok. This semester has been its own wild rollercoaster of mess because of me.”

“Still, I feel like I owe you an apology. You seem like a decent girl and I promise I’ll keep your secret, ok?”

“That means a great deal to me,” I answer honestly. “If I can make it till the end of the semester, it doesn’t matter. But while I have to go to school with those boys? I’d really rather it didn’t get out any sooner.”

Monica nods, clearly understanding what I’m putting down. She steps forward and hugs me. “Best of luck making it six weeks Holly. I can’t see how they manage to not spot the babe in their midst.”

I shrug and make a face, “I Just hope none of them plan to become cops, they kinda suck at spotting things in front of them.”

 

 

Mom knocked on my door a little later that evening before letting herself in. My homework finished, I had actually been reading a teen magazine; something I was able to finally enjoy guilt-free.

“How are you feeling after today, honey?” Mom asks, sitting down beside me on the bed and stroking my hair.

I roll over and close the magazine before squidging up beside her. “I’m ok,” I admit. “I would have liked a better outcome, but I suppose it makes sense. I’ve made it this far, I’ll manage.”

Mom smiles a little sadly and hugs me to her side. “You shouldn’t have to. This is still a lot for me to really process, but seeing you these last few weeks has made it all the clearer for me. Seeing my child smile and look genuinely alive is all a parent could possibly ask for. It might not be what I expected when I gave birth to you, but I’d be a fool to not see how much happier you are.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, Holly. Your father and I are both genuinely glad that our daughter is so considerate of our feelings and everyone else, but don’t forget to live for yourself too. We’ll manage, we’re your parents. It’s our job to support you and we would be a pretty poor example if we didn’t.”

“There are so many kids, so many people in my situation that don’t have that,” I sniffed. “So much hate, mistrust, disgust. I’m sorry I let myself believe you’d be anything other than my best friend.”

I can see a glint in Mom’s eye as she looks at me, it’s not sadness, but there’s an emotional moment we’re both sharing. I see Mom as the woman she is in that moment, the adult human who realized she didn’t know all the answers, but chose love anyway. The truth is, she was and is forever my hero.

“I booked you in to see Doctor Harris again on Tuesday, ok? We’re going to get your bloodwork done and get you sorted out properly. Doctor Ward wants that before she sends you on to an Endocrinologist.”

“Is this real?” I murmur, frowning uncertainly. “It doesn’t feel real that this is all happening… I never dreamed.”

“It’s happening, honey,” Mom squeezes. “At the end of the day, your happiness comes first and we’re going to make sure that we do everything we can for you. We’re lucky enough to have good insurance, good jobs, and our health. You might need to wait for school, but we will make sure you’re doing this right before then. That includes getting onto properly monitored medication prescribed by an actual doctor.”

“Are you mad that I took matters into my own hands?”

Mom pauses before answering. I can see the conflict between the parent and the doctor. “Yes and no, but I want you to let me explain.” she begins slowly, squeezing my leg. “I am worried, as a mother, that you took unregulated medication that has such a powerful effect on your development and your body. I am worried that it might not be pure, or authentic or that it might have hurt you. I am proud, as a parent that you did your due diligence and research; I cannot ask for more as a parent than a child who thinks before she leaps. I don’t directly understand the desperation that drove you to that choice, but I can, as a doctor and a mother, appreciate that it did. I don’t need to understand the pain to know what pain feels like honey.”

“I’m sorry,” I admit quietly. “I didn’t want to worry you guys.”

“It’s our job to worry, darling.” Mom chuckles, squeezing me tight. “That’s what we signed up for when you were born.”

I smirk and glance over at Mom beside me. In many ways, we look so similar and I am so very proud of that fact. I’m proud of the woman she is and the example she has set for me in life. Regardless, I am still a shit-stirrer at heart, and I cannot resist the urge for a quick poke.

“I hope you got the extended warranty...”

 

Comments are the lifeblood of authors. Please leave a comment with your thoughts/feelings and I'll answer! Let me know what you think!