In a bit of a daze, I had a shower and then got dressed in a sky blue top and jeans. I was downstairs having breakfast in double quick time....     Football Girl Chapter 15 By Susan Brown

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Previously...

'Anyway Jeff said that we could only go if he takes us and picks us up and we don’t do any funny business and that includes me as they are in locust parenthesis or something. So, do you want to go?’

‘I don’t have anything to wear?’

‘Spoken like a true girl. Well there are places called shopping centres and even on a Sunday, they love to take your money and let’s, like, face it you aren’t short of a bob or two.’

I looked at her and she looked at me and Rabbit looked at both of us with a bit of a blank expression.

‘Let’s do it!’

‘Like, cool.’

And now the story continues…

In a bit of a daze, I had a shower and then got dressed in a sky blue top and jeans. I was downstairs having breakfast in double quick time. Josie and Jeff had gone out to get some food shopping and left a message.

Girls, we won’t be long, just gone for some supplies. If you go out, leave a note about where you are. Don’t forget to take your ’phones with you.

Love, Josie and Jeff.

Munching on some toast and marmalade, I looked at Claire.

‘So, Claire, that’s another fine mess you got me into.’

‘Like, what?’

‘Well, I wish you would ask me first if I wanted to go on a date before blabbing like that to Andrew.’

‘Look, you like him and he likes you. What’s the problem?’

‘I’m still uncomfortable with all this. I thought I was into girls. Well not really as I didn’t have sexy thoughts at all really–’

Then I remembered my damp knickers after my last conversation with Andrew and moved swiftly on.

‘Anyway, that’s beside the point; don’t you think?’

‘About what?’

‘John; he doesn’t know about me and I’m not sure that a double date is a good idea.’

‘Look, he hardly knows you as Mark, so how is he going to, like, twig that Susan is, in fact Mark Hurst, superstar footballer and darling of Melchester, ya know?

‘I suppose. Look are you going to finish that toast or what?’

‘In a hurry then?’

‘Yeah, to throttle you. I’m going to ring for a taxi.’

‘Okay, the number’s by the phone.’

I grabbed the handset of the wall phone and dialled the number.

‘Hello, is that Fast Cabs? Can you take me and my friend to town?’

I told the man where we lived and he said the taxi would be with us in ten minutes. I pressed the gate thingy so he would be able to come up the drive and then went upstairs to put on some makeup and brush my hair. Nothing fancy, but looking at myself, I couldn’t see any sign of Mark hiding underneath.

By the time I was downstairs, Claire was waiting with her jacket on and a slice of toast in her hand.

‘Don’t you ever stop eating?’

‘Yeah, when I’m asleep,’ she said, then poked her tongue out at me. I opened the door and did the same to her just as the taxi man was going to ring the bell. Talk about looking stoopid!

We bundled into the back of the taxi, giggling like schoolgirls. The driver didn’t say much but his eyes went up and he shook his head. That was enough to start us off again!

It took twenty minutes to get into town. As we passed Melchester’s stadium I could see people milling about. The shop seemed quite full. On an impulse I asked the driver to stop.

‘What’s up?’ asked Claire.

‘Tell you in a minute.’

‘We’ll get off here.’ I said to the taxi driver. Can you pick us up in half an hour?’

‘It’ll cost?’

‘I know. How much do we owe you so far?’

‘Ten pounds.’

I gave him the money and a pound tip.

‘See you in thirty?’

‘All right, love. I’ll be here.’

We got out, Claire looking very puzzled; the taxi drove off leaving us just outside Melchester’s gates. I dragged Claire over to the side.

‘Claire, tell me that I don’t look like Mark?’

‘You don’t, you know that. You’re hair, clothes makeup–nothing like him or you–oh you know what I mean! Even your eyes look different with the makeup. Like, what's up doc?’

‘I want to go in the club shop.’

‘Why?’

I was a bit embarrassed. ‘Well, I want to see if there is anything for sale with me on it, you know shirts, and stuff like that.’

‘Why?’

‘Don’t know really. I suppose I want to see if I’m accepted yet–as a first team player, by the club and the fans.’

‘You know you are–’

‘–Please, can we go in?’

‘You are like, silly sometimes. Why don’t you accept that you’re a great player and…’

‘Can we go now without the lecture?’

‘Blimey, the way you’re carrying on as if like, it’s your time of the month.’

‘Ha ha.’ I replied, dragging her towards the shop.

There were loads of people around and to be truthful, I wondered if I would be recognised. No one paid any attention though and we joined the crowd entering the shop.

I was amazed, it was only ten thirty and the shop was really crowded. Then I stopped dead. I clutched Claire’s arm tight making her yelp a bit and pull away.

‘What?’

I didn’t answer. In front of me on the far wall were about twelve screens, large screens and they were playing yesterdays match and the goal I had scored. I hadn’t seen it and I hadn’t seen me like that–times twelve. People who had just come in were watching it too.

I saw the ball from the camera angle obviously. Tom Johansson kicked the ball out and the camera followed it. I saw myself look up and volley it back towards the goal and then we saw it go in the back of the net with a dumbstruck and rather stupid looking Tom looking on.

The shop went wild and I could hear ‘Markie, Markie,’ being chanted by a lot of the fans.

Claire pulled me over to the side and looked at me.

‘You haven’t seen that before, have you?’

I shook my head.

‘It was a great goal.’

‘It was a fluke.’

‘Rubbish.’

‘It’s not rubbish. On MOTD last night, they reckoned that it was one of the best goals they had seen this season. You were man of the match, did you know?’

‘No, why would I be that, I didn’t do that much.’

She dragged me over to the coffee shop sat me down in the corner, then grabbed two coffees for us. It was relatively quiet in there and it didn’t take long for her to have a go at me.

‘Look, Susan, you need to get real here. You are a great football player and you can only get better. Hell, I’m not much of a fan but since you started playing, I’ve become, like an instant expert.’

‘But–’

‘–Never mind ‘but’, the major thing that’s doing your head in is that you still don’t think that you are any good. Well that’s rubbish. Everyone is saying it. You are a great player. They reckon that you will play for England soon and be like, the youngest player to win a cap.’

‘But–’

‘–It’s time you like realise it and stop putting yourself down. That’s why we’re here. You can’t believe that you are good enough for all this and you wanted to like, see what other people think.’

I looked at her. It was true. I was unsure of myself. I suppose I wondered if all this was some sort of dream; one from which I would wake up and find myself at home being beaten up by my step father. It all seemed dreamlike. Here was I sitting in the club shop; pictures up on the wall of me everywhere; replays on the plasma screens of my playing. T-shirts, mugs, posters, all with my name on. It was unreal.

‘Can we go now?’ I asked in a small voice.

‘Not till you say that you are a good footballer–no a great footballer.’

‘Claire I can’t say that. It’s for other people to say, not me. Look I am a very good player, is that good enough for you?’

‘It’ll do for now. So, want to buy an ‘I love Markie’ t-shirt?’

‘Sod off!’ I laughed as we walked out and went to the entrance. The taxi pulled up just as we arrived, so it couldn’t have been better timing.

‘So,’ said the taxi driver as we pulled away, ‘did you see Mark Hurst’s goal, yesterday, stunner wasn’t it?’

I looked at Claire and she looked at me and we just giggled.

The taxi driver just shook his head and mumbled something about daft girls and that set us off again.

He dropped us off at the entrance to the shopping centre. We asked him to pick us up in three hours.

As we browsed the shops, I wondered what I should wear then I stopped dead, nearly causing an accident with a woman with a buggy who was close behind me.

‘Hang on.’

‘What?’

‘You haven’t told me where we’re going on this date.’

‘Didn’t I? Oh we are going to the La GoGo topless bar, down on Canal Street.’

‘WHAT!’

Claire just laughed. ‘Gotcha! Nah, we’re like, gonna have a burger and then go to the pictures.’

My heart stopped thumping and I just slapped her arm. ‘Do that to me again and I’ll murder you!’

‘Sorry; your face it was like, priceless, ya know?’

Now I knew where we were going, I knew that I wouldn’t need anything too fancy. So after trying on about a thousand dresses, tops, skirts and leggings, I came up with something I liked, not formal, but smart. I chose a cream silky top that showed a bit of my chest–hey if you’ve got it, why not flaunt it. Then, I found a black, pleated skirt that went half way down my thighs, not a mini but nice, length wise. I didn’t want to flash my panties after all and I also didn’t want to wear a mini as it might get chilly and even under tights; the bruise on my upper thigh might show–practical eh?

With the skirt and top, together with a gorgeous cream leather jacket from Monsoon that I just had to buy, I felt that I would look irresistible tonight–not that I wanted anything like that because Andrew and I are just good friends. I found some black shoes that went really well with the outfit after searching in only seven shops and trying on fifty pairs of shoes, I went back to the first shop and bought the first ones I had tried on.

We stopped off at a café for a coke and a sticky bun. All this shopping requires a fuel top up on a regular basis. Claire of course hadn’t a thing to wear herself, and she had tried on as much as I had, if not more. Her chosen outfit was a dark blue dress from Per Una, an angora jumper which closely matched the colour of the dress and some black boots that frankly, I lusted after and would borrow at the earliest opportunity.

On a whim, we went into a hair salon and managed to get our hair sorted out without an appointment. I had to be careful, as I couldn’t afford to go too girlie. I needed a style that could go either way if you know what I mean. I just told the stylist that I went to a strict catholic convent school and they were funny about certain styles. It sounded weak to me but that was all I could think of at the time. She cut it to shoulder length and feathered it. I reckoned I could get away with a low ponytail when in boy mode so that was okay.

Claire’s hair wasn’t too bad–she had a cut just the week before–so it was a question of cutting out the split ends and giving it a bit more body.

We then decided to go a bit mad and had our nails done. I had extensions put on and had them varnished all pink and glittery. Claire had extensions too and chose a silver metallic gel colour, they were fab and I decided that I would try that next time.

Finally, we rushed to Boots and got some emergency cosmetics. I hadn’t really got much, but with Claire’s semi-expert help, we chose some things that would look good on me and most importantly go with everything else.

It was time to go and with arms weighed down by several bags, we went to the main entrance. A few minutes later our taxi arrived: we got in sat down and sighed. My legs were aching from all the walking and I took my shoes off and rubbed my tired feet. It didn’t take long to get home, and after paying off the taxi, we struggled down the drive and let ourselves in.

Josie came out of the kitchen with a twin in each arm. They were covered in chocolate and looked in need of a hose down.

‘Bought out the shops have we?’

‘Haha,’ I said as we tramped upstairs.

‘Nice hair and nails by the way,’ she told our retreating backs.

‘Thanks,’ said Claire as we went.

Claire took her bags to her room and I turned down the corridor to mine. I put the bags on the floor and flopped on my bed.

I was aching and paining from yesterday’s game and our shopping expedition today. I needed to speak to the doctor soon. I was just too tired…

I must have fallen asleep, as I was shaken gently awake by Josie. ‘Come on, sleepyhead, want a sandwich for lunch?’

‘Yes please,’ I said without opening my eyes and then yawning hugely.

‘You look washed out, love. Are you sure you want to go out tonight?’

I cracked my eyes open and looked at her sitting on the bed beside me.

‘Yes, Mummy, I’ll be okay, but I think I need to see the doctor soon, I can’t stop wanting to go to sleep.’

‘Maybe she needs to up your iron tablets. You look quite pale, you know, even under that makeup and you have dark rings under your eyes. I’m not sure that you should go tonight.’

‘I’ll be all right, Mummy. I’ll have a sandwich, then come up and have a nap until I have to get ready. Is that okay?’

She looked at me sadly. ‘This isn’t all too much for you, is it? What with the football and a hectic social life, perhaps you shouldn’t do so much.’

‘I’m just a bit tired, that’s all. Look, if I feel rough by the time I have to go, I’ll cancel, okay?’

‘Okay, if you’re sure–’

I ate my sandwich. Claire was full of beans and kept going on about tonight. I was getting a bit wound up about it–not knowing where things would lead. It seemed so strange to be going on a date with a boy. Shouldn’t I be putting my hands up in horror and what if we got close?

After lunch, I went upstairs, took my jeans and top off, pulled the curtains and slipped into bed just in my panties and bra.

I was just dozing off when my ’phone rang. I checked who was calling and I saw it was Auntie Chris’s number up in Scotland.

‘Hello?’

‘Hello, Susan.’

‘Mum!’

‘How are you, love?’

‘Not too bad, a bit tired.’

‘I’m not surprised after yesterday’s game. We watched it on Sky and your Auntie went bananas when you scored that great goal.’

‘Yeah, it was good that we won.’

‘You’re so talented and I was bursting with pride that you played so well.’

‘Muu-um!’

‘Don’t mu-um me. I know you don’t like praise, but you’re a very special child to me and it’s great that you’re getting things together.’

‘How are you, Mum?’ I asked, changing the subject.

‘I’m fine; getting used to the rain. It seems to rain a lot here, but it’s gorgeous with the mountains and the lochs–it’s majestic. Your Auntie and I are going on a coach trip to Loch Ness tomorrow. I’m taking some bread for the monster.’

We both laughed.

‘So what are your plans for the next few days, Susan?’

‘We-eell I’m going on a date.’

‘A date, who with?’

‘Andrew.’ I said quietly.

There was silence at the other end.

‘Mum, are you still there?’

‘Y—yes honey. It takes a bit of getting used to, all this. So, how long have you and Andrew–’

‘–This is the first date. It’s not really a proper date. It’s a double one with Claire and John. We’ll have a burger and then go to the cinema next door. Jeff is taking us and picking us up afterwards.’

‘Do…do you have feelings for Andrew?’

I…I don’t know. I think I do, but I’ll know more after tonight.’

‘Well, be careful, honey.’

‘I will, Mum, promise. Have you heard from him at all?’

‘No and neither of us should. He has an exclusion order so if he doesn’t want to land back in jail, he would be wise to steer well clear of both of us.’

We spoke for about another ten minutes and then she had to go.

‘Well, Susan, have a great time tonight; I trust you to make the right decisions. I hope to come down and see you for your home game next Saturday. I‘m longing to see you because I sooo miss my baby.’

I didn’t pick her up on calling me her baby, but I knew what she meant. I was her baby and probably always would be.

‘’Bye, Mum,’ I said, my voice breaking up, ‘love you.’

‘Love you too, pet. I’ll speak to you in a few days.’

‘Okay.’

After putting down the ’phone, I wiped my eyes on a tissue and lay down again. I missed my mum so much…

I fell asleep thinking of her and the coming evening. I must have been tired because the next thing I knew was Claire, shaking me awake.

‘Come on, sleepyhead, we’ve only an hour and a half to like, get ready.’

‘I won’t need that long,’ I replied, yawning and sitting up.

‘Oh yes you will, now come along.’

I had a shower which helped me wake up properly. I made sure not to get my hair wet by using a shower cap. My nipples were a bit sensitive and I was careful to avoid splashing them with the hot water too much. After towelling myself dry, I put on my robe and returned to the bedroom. I had put the cosmetics we had bought this morning on the dressing table. I hoped they would look good on me as I was going by what Claire had told me would be okay.

Using one of Mark’s ponytail elastics to keep my hair away from my face, I began applying my makeup. The foundation was fine–just the right shade but thicker than what I normally used. It was a good thing, as I still looked rather pasty, and my eyes still had dark rings under them. The foundation successfully covered up those problems without difficulty. Next, I fixed the foundation with some powder on a big brush, tapping off the excess before applying it carefully on my face. After that I added some blusher to my cheek bones to give me some colour; it was a nice shade of pink and looked pretty natural.

Next came my eyes; first, eye liner, then eye shadow, two shades; a darker one for the lids and then a slightly lighter shade of blue up towards the brow, carefully blending them in. The black mascara was quite thick and it made my lashes look full and luscious. Finally my lips: I used a pink lip liner to define them and make them look slightly fuller, then a pink base coat followed by bright shiny pink lip gloss.

Backing away from the mirror, I was pleased with the overall effect. I was no expert, but I think it looked okay and made my face look pretty.

Glancing at my watch, I realised I had only twenty minutes. Amazed at how quickly the time had flown, I took off my robe and began dressing. First my bra; the cream-coloured satin cups held my budding breasts comfortably and securely. I used a gaff to hide my small boy bits, down below. I wanted a nice smooth look tonight and no unsightly bulges. Then the matching panties on top; I loved the way they slid up my hairless legs and settled nicely around my slightly rounded bottom.

Then I took the brand new sheer black tights out of the wrapper. They felt fabulous as I pulled them up my smooth legs. The thin sheer nylon hugged my legs and it felt wonderful!

I carefully put on my blouse over my head as I didn’t want any makeup smears. The silky softness against my skin made me shiver and I appreciated why we women loved silk so much.

After pulling up the skirt and zipping it at the back, I swished about a bit. The pleats gave it an interesting flare and it looked marvellous against my black encased legs and pale cream silk blouse. Sitting at the dressing table again, I released the ponytail and brushed out my hair. I loved the way it had been cut. I was able to make it look quite feminine with a centre parting and a few wispy strands at the sides, by just a few strokes of the brush. I was glad my hair was long enough to put into a low ponytail when in boy mode. I used some light hair spray to keep it all in place and then stood up and crossed to the bed. I had just a few minutes, so I put on my shoes quickly and stood up again. Looking at my reflection in the full length mirror on the wall, I smiled.

Susan was looking very pretty tonight. It was amazing how different I looked from when I was presenting as Mark. I had no worries that John would recognise me looking like this.

‘Susan, are you ready?’

‘Won’t be a minute, Claire.’

‘Don’t forget to put a clean pair of knickers in your bag,’ she advised. ‘You never know when you might need them, so I always carry a spare pair–just in case.’

‘Okay,’ I said, getting a clean pair from my undies’ drawer and putting them in my bag. Then I picked up my jacket, slung my bag over my shoulder and after a final inspection in the mirror, went to join Claire.

After mutual praise and admiration, we went downstairs. Josie and Jeff were there–Josie with a camera.

‘You both look stunning, girls. Now go and stand over there and I’ll take a few piccies.’

‘Mummeeee.’

‘Don’t Mummy me, young lady. This is your first date so I must record it for posterity and, Claire, when you spoke to your mum earlier, you promised her a picture, so no arguments from you, either.’

We went and stood against the wall rather self-consciously.

‘Try to look happier, you’re going out on a date, not to the dentists!’

We giggled at that and began trying all sorts of poses. That was until we got a cough from Jeff.

‘What?’ Josie asked.

‘They’ll be late if you don’t get a move on.’

‘It traditional to be late.’

‘I know that, you were often enough.’

‘What was that?’

‘Nothing, dear, now can we go please?’

Josie gave us both a quick kiss and a hug. I put on my cool jacket and we were off.

We were both a bit quiet on the way to Maccy D’s. I had been told that Claire had laid down the law with her brother and told him not to let on to John that I was Mark as well as Susan. But I wasn’t sure if it would work because I wasn’t aware that brothers ever did what their sisters told them.

When we arrived at the high street, there were loads of people around, mostly as young like us or slightly older. Andrew and John, waiting in the doorway of Maccy D’s, waved to us.

As we got out of the car, Jeff had to say, ‘Have nice time girls, no funny business, behave yourselves and be here at 11.00pm; okay?’

‘Yes Daddy.’ We both said and then giggled.

He shook his head, mumbled something under his breath and drove off with a wave.

As we approached the boys, I felt really nervous. Andrew was looking very smart in his jacket, shirt and trousers and John looked like he had made the effort too.

‘Do I look okay, is my skirt to short or long, is my hair all right and my makeup, is it too much or not enough?’

Claire rushed to John and they were soon locked in a kiss that left little to the imagination.

‘Hi,’ said Andrew a bit shyly.

‘Hello, you look nice.’

‘So do you–beautiful.’

I felt a shiver down my spine. No one had ever called me beautiful before.

‘Thank you.’

‘Do you want to go in?’

‘Yes, if Claire can put John down for a minute.’

We both smiled and after ungluing Claire and John we went in to the burger bar.

I had nuggets and chips and Andrew decided on the same. Claire had a Big Mac and fries and John a chicken sandwich thingy.

We were soon discussing which film we wanted to see. The boys were all for a sci-fi thing, but Claire and I managed–somehow–to persuade them to see a chick flick.

As soon as we had finished our meal we went next door to the cinema. The boys insisted on buying the tickets and as we were all a bit full up from the meal, we didn’t buy any popcorn.

We made our way into the auditorium and found seats at the back. There weren’t many people in there, this being an early evening showing, so we were able to choose which seats we wanted.

Obviously John sat next to Claire; I had her on one side and Andrew on the other.

The film started after the inevitable adverts and trailers. I was very aware of Andrew sitting so close to me. He smelt nice and I wondered what deodorant he used.

I sneaked a glance at Claire. She hadn’t wasted much time and she was heavily entangled with John and they didn’t appear to be paying any attention to the film. I looked at Andrew, he was watching the film, but didn’t look like he was taking in much, from what I could make out in the gloom of the darkened cinema.

His hand was on the arm rest, close to mine and, without thinking, I brushed against him. He looked at me and then slowly smiled. We didn’t have to say anything. This felt nice and so right. He lifted the arm rest and then held my hand. I sighed and leant against him. We stayed like this for a while, watching the film. I wasn’t really taking it in much and I don’t think he was either. After a minute, he let go of my hand; I looked up into his eyes and I noticed that he appeared to be scared.

‘What's up?’ I whispered.

He looked at me and smiled nervously.

‘C—can I put my arm around you?’

‘Course you can, silly. I’ve been waiting for ages.’

He put his arm around me and I snuggled in. I could hear his heart beat, it was going rather fast and I could also hear his breathing too. It was lovely to be up close like this. It was strange the feelings that I had. I never thought that I would like boys this way, thinking even after the operation that I would be more into girls. But Andrew changed all that. He accepted me for what I was, neither boy or girl yet. That made me feel safe and warm in his arms and I was loving every minute of it!

After a while he sighed. Looking up at his face just inches from mine, I could see a smile playing on his lips. Those nice pink juicy lips. I couldn’t help it I just moved my head up a bit and kissed him gently on those soft lips.

He looked at me and smiled. ‘Mmm, that was nice. Can I have some more.’

‘Say please, Oliver.’

‘Please.’

Our lips met, it was like a charge of electricity going through my body. His lips parted and so did mine. I felt his tongue reach out for mine and when they touched and then entwined, I shuddered and felt myself go damp in my panties.

Time stood still, I could not tell you how long we kissed like this and I just didn’t want it to end. But end it did when the lights came up and the film ended. I let go of him and smiled as I noticed he had lipstick on his face. I took a tissue out of my purse, wet it and then cleaned him up.

‘Thanks,’ he said rather breathlessly.

I just smiled and squeezed his hand.

I looked around and saw that Claire still had John in her grips. God, she was like an octopus!

‘’Claire, Claire, the film’s over we have to go.’

Claire came up for air and John looked like he needed oxygen.

‘Oh, has the film finished, like?’

‘Yes, we have to go.’

We all stood up and made our way to the foyer. I loved it when Andrew held my hand as we walked.

‘We have to go to the ladies,’ Claire said, pointedly.

‘Oh, right, see you in a minute,’ I said giving Andrew a peck on the cheek. He seemed reluctant to let me go for some reason.

We went in the ladies and luckily it was empty.

‘Well, you like, had a good time.’

‘How do you know, you were wrestling with John for nearly the whole film.’

‘Look at your face.’

I looked in the mirror and gasped. To say that my makeup was smeared, would be an understatement.

‘Come on, lets try and sort ourselves out.’

‘I need to use the loo first.’ I said.

I went in, shut the door, pulled down my tights, panties and with difficulty, my gaff. It was a bit messy down there. I had leaked quite a bit and the gaff was rather soggy. I carefully removed my tights and panties and then the gaff–I couldn’t wear it like that. I cleaned up the mess with loo paper as well as I could, before pulling on the clean panties, which–thanks to Claire–I had in my shoulder bag, and finally my tights.

I jammed the soiled panties and gaff in the plastic bag that had held my fresh panties and put them in my shoulder bag; then after straightening my skirt and replacing my shoes, I unlocked the door and saw Claire looking at me quizzically.

‘Okay?’

‘Yea’ no problems.’

I repaired the damage to my face quickly and as Claire had already finished, we rejoined the boys in the foyer. My heart fluttered when I saw Andrew’s face light up as we approached. I went to him and our lips briefly met.

We waited in the foyer for Jeff to arrive–it was too cold to wait outside. Before long, we saw his car drive up.

‘Hang on.’ I said to Andrew as I ran as fast as I could outside to the car. Jeff wound down the window.

‘Hi, Daddy.’

‘Hello, honey, have a nice time?’

‘Mmm, can you give us ten minutes?’

He looked at me quizzically.

‘Okay, I’m going for a coffee in McDonalds. You have fifteen minutes and no longer.’

‘Okay we’ll meet you in there; love you.’

‘You too, sugar.’

He got out and went next door. I returned to an enquiring look from everyone.

‘We’ve got fifteen minutes.’

‘That’s great,’ said John, ‘my dad’s picking up me and Andrew then.’

‘You still staying with John then?’ I asked Andrew.

‘Yes, ’til mum gets out of hospital.’

We went over to a quiet corner away from the crowds. There were a lot of people coming in for the late showings and I hoped we wouldn’t be chucked out.

Claire and John went over to the corner and I sat on a sofa with Andrew. We immediately held hands.

‘Are we wrong to be like this?’ asked Andrew.

‘It feels very right to me. Andrew?’

‘Yes.’

‘Do you think me as a boy or a girl?’

‘Dressed like that and looking so beautiful, all girl.’

‘And if you saw me dressed as Mark?’

He was silent for a moment.

‘I…I suppose I would see you as a boy then, but it doesn’t matter.’

‘Why.’

He was quiet for a minute as if he was wrestling with something in his mind.

‘Let me ask you something. If we went out to the pictures and you saw me dressed as a girl, what would you think of me?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Answer me please. Does it matter to you if I was dressed as a boy or girl?’

I looked at him, not really knowing where this was going but I knew my answer in an instant.

‘It wouldn’t matter; I love you for being you and not for what you’re wearing.’

‘I feel the same about you. If you were dressed as Mark, I would still love you.’

‘And…and have you ever dressed as a girl?’

He looked at me and nodded slightly, a tear in the corner of his eye.

‘When I was younger, I did occasionally borrow Claire’s things. She never found out, but every time I did it I felt really guilty. I still don’t know why I did it.’

I held on to his hand, his face really close to mine. I kissed him gently on the lips.

‘Do you still want to do it?

‘Y…yes but I mustn’t.’

‘Why not?’

‘’Cos it’s wrong.’

‘Is it wrong for me to be dressed like this?’ I said waving my hand over me.

‘No!’

‘Why not?’

‘Because you’re a girl.’

‘What are you then?’

‘A—a boy who likes wearing g—girls clothes.’

‘Don’t get upset, Andrew. There are lots of people like that. You’ve no reason to feel guilty. It’s what you are. Look we can’t talk like this now. Would you like to come over to my place soon and we can talk about it?’

‘You don’t think I’m sick then?’

‘No sicker than me!’

I looked at my watch. Our fifteen minutes was nearly up. We hugged and kissed some more, my nylon sheathed toes curling as our tongues danced together. It felt safe and good in his arms and it was sad when we had to pull away from each other and go and get the others.

Claire and John had just finished whatever it was that they had been doing and they both looked flushed. Luckily, on inspection, both Claire and I didn’t need another trip to the ladies as we were able to make repairs with tissues.

We said our final goodbyes and, very reluctantly, I hugged Andrew for the last time and went out into the cold. Jeff was waiting in the car and we got in the back. I waved to Andrew as we drove off. I was missing him already but had promised to text him when I got home.

I was pretty tired, and Claire was out in space somewhere, so not much was said on the way home, except Jeff had asked if we had a good time to which we both answered with an, ‘Mmm.’

It was a bit of a revelation that Andrew was a cross-dresser. It kind of brought us even closer together and made me feel warm inside. I had to get him to not feel guilty about it though.

It was drizzling as we drove up to the house; not a very nice night. Strangely, the security gates were open.

‘That’s odd.’ said Jeff.

We went up the long drive and then, as it curved to the left, we saw a police car, its blue lights flashing, just in front of the house.

‘What's going on?’ Jeff asked, as we got out of the car quickly and ran into the house.

I got there first and skidded to a halt in the hall. There was Josie, Mr Moon–the gardener and a lady whom I took to be his wife; but the people who drew most of my attention were the policeman and policewoman standing, with notebooks at the ready, looking at me.

‘Oh Susan,’ said Josie, rushing to me and flinging her arms around me for some reason. She had been crying.

‘What?’ I said.

‘It’s your mum.’

‘W—what about her? Is she ill, or something?’

Reading the faces around me, I just knew that something terrible had happened.

‘Oh, honey, come and sit down?’

She virtually dragged me into the sitting room and closed the door, leaving everyone outside. She made me sit down.

‘Please, Josie, what’s happened to Mum? Has she had an accident? What–’

‘Oh, Susan, honey. I can’t make it any easier for you. Your mum’s been murdered–your appalling step-father stabbed her and is still on the run.

I fell into her arms as my entire world seemed to crumble about me.

---

To Be Continued...

Please leave comments...thanks! ~Sue

My thanks go to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing and pulling the story into shape. and to the equally lovely Angharad for her expertise and support.