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Previously...

I had heard a lot about what I could and could not do and, to be honest, I was scared of making a decision like this. I wondered what my mum would do and then realised that she was never strong at making decisions–that’s why she stayed with my stepfather so long. I gazed at her framed photo standing on my bedside table. I missed her so much still and yet I had to move on and make my own decisions in life. I thought about at the alternatives: I could try my best to carry on being a professional footballer in a male environment, or alternatively I could try my luck in the women’s team, or I suppose I could turn my back on all of this and go back to playing football in the park. I smiled ruefully, realising that I was beyond park football now and things would never be the same for me again, now I was ‘known’.

I stood up and stared out of the window. The day was still rather damp and grim. Fleetingly I thought of just packing up quietly and leaving, but I could never do that–I loved my family and friends too much. I went over to my chest of drawers and took out a lacy hanky. As I blew my nose, my eyes fell on the large photo of me just after scoring a goal for Melchester at Manethorpe. I had my hands in the air and I was being mobbed by my team mates. The joy on my face was something else. I smiled at the photo and just nodded.

As I rejoined them downstairs, they were just quietly talking. They looked up. I took a deep breath and said it;

‘When can I start training again, boss?’

And now the story continues…

The following weeks were interesting to say the least. Now that I had made the decision to try and stay as a pro player with Melchester, I felt much better. Right or wrong, I had decided on the future I wanted for myself. Whether the authorities agreed with me was another matter for which I would just have to wait.

Every day, I was getting stronger and was pleased that I didn’t have to take any pills for me to transform into a girl, I was a girl and that was a fact.

Daddy was away frequently, trying to sort out my future. John Prentiss and Trevor Withers, plotted and planned about the best way to ‘out’ me without my getting hurt. Mummy was always there, supporting me and helping me with the personal issues raised by my new founded physical femininity.

The club wasn’t doing too badly without me–two wins and a draw. We were climbing up the table again and with luck, we would qualify for the Champions League at the end of the season. The lads at the club sent me a card, signed by all the players and a lot of the backroom staff too. They hadn’t been made aware of my situation yet as it was all on a need to know basis.

Andrew and I went from strength to strength and although we didn’t do anything stupid–I couldn’t in my current situation anyway–we got closer and closer. Claire, being Claire didn’t change much. She was still going out with John, but I had a feeling that John wanted to go places with her where she just didn’t want to go.

It was on a Wednesday that Mummy asked if we could have a chat. She had just been with Andrew and Claire to visit their mum. My friends seemed rather down in the dumps when they came back, but that wasn’t unusual because I knew that they were missing her a great deal.

On their return, Mummy and I went into the sitting room and sat down. ‘Susan, we’ve just had a bit of bad news,’ she told me

‘What?’ I asked, fearing the worst.

‘It’s okay, she’s not dying or anything, it’s just that the doctors don’t feel that she is going to get much better any time soon.’

‘Oh, that’s a pity. I’m sorry.’

‘Yes. A problem has arisen because she’s been in hospital so long and her savings have nearly all gone, paying the mortgage. She may not be able to return to work, in the short term anyway. So she has a problem. She needs to sell the house and then when things get better and, hopefully, she gets a job again, she can buy another property.’

‘Oh, that’s depressing. When will she be leaving hospital?’

‘Quite soon now, in fact if things can be arranged, possibly tomorrow.’

‘What if I paid the mortgage for her, till she’s better?’

‘Oh, honey, that’s sweet of you, but I have known for a while that Monica has wanted to move. There is too much sad history in the house–what with losing her husband and everything. She’s almost in negative equity, which means the mortgage is worth about the same as the house. She wanted to unload it so she could start afresh. Just paying off her mortgage for her would only put off the inevitable. If she loved the house, it would be different, but she doesn’t. No, what she needs is a solution that takes at least that worry away from her.’

‘Can she come here to live–that is if she wants to? We’ve loads of space and lots of rooms that aren’t being used and, after all, Andrew and Claire are here already.’

Mummy looked at me and then came over and gave me a sloppy kiss on the cheek and a big hug.

‘What’s that for.’ I asked.

She let me go and then sat down beside me, holding my hand.

‘For being such a sweet girl. When I went to see her, I wanted to say come and stay, but this is your place and you are paying the bills so I wasn’t going to ask without your permission.’

I stood up and went to the window. It wasn’t a very nice day out there with the wind and low clouds threatening to rain. Looking back, I could see that Mummy was wondering what I was thinking.

‘Mummy, this isn’t my house it’s our house. I don’t want to have to make decisions about this. You and Daddy look after me and I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. I have been thinking about this a long time but didn’t know when I should mention it; now’s a good time.’

I went back over and sat down next to her and held her hand.

‘I am already very well off and could afford two homes like this without breaking the bank. John Prentiss has said that by early next year, if everything goes to plan, I will be very rich. What I’m saying is that I want to buy this house for you and Daddy and then I don’t have to make these decisions–’

‘You can’t do that!’ Mummy exclaimed, standing up. ‘We’d feel like we were taking advantage of you.’

I laughed, but it wasn’t a very happy laugh. ‘You taking advantage of me? I think it’s the other way round. I’ve been nothing but a bother to you ever since I came into your lives. You’ve had to take me on board, move house, change jobs–all sorts of upheavals–all for me. I just want to give you this in return.’

‘Its too much, anyway, we love you so much, you know that. We’ve always thought of you as a sort of surrogate child of ours and we were so pleased that you agreed that we should adopt you.’

‘Mummy, please let me buy this house for you. It would make me the happiest girl alive. I have all this money coming in and I want to spend some of it on the two people I love most in the world. Mum would want me to do this. Please, please don’t spoil my present to you.’

By now I was crying in her arms; I desperately wanted her to accept the gift for what it was, a sign of the love that I had for her, Daddy and the twins. What had started out as an idea to let Andrew and Claire’s mum come and stay, had turned into something much more – the need to give back and return some of the love that had washed over me since all this had started. Eventually we calmed down slightly. Being a girl can be so emotional sometimes.

‘All right, Susan, I’ll speak to your father about it. I know what he’s like–a bit proud and stubborn–but if that is what you really want, I’ll win him round–’

‘So you will have the place if I can buy it?’ I said happily.

‘We’ll see. It may not still be on the market.’

‘I’m sure it is. The owners only rented it out because they couldn’t find a buyer.’

‘Okay, if Jeff agrees, we’ll make enquiries, see how much they want for the place and then have a family conference to decide as a family what we want to do. Okay?’

‘Okay, Mummy.’

‘Right and what about the other thing.’

‘What?’

‘Monica; Andrew and Claire’s mum?’

‘You decide, but I think it’s cool.’

Well, after much to-ing and fro-ing, Mummy and Daddy agreed to my plan. Daddy had been a tough nut to crack, going on about not taking advantage of a defenceless child and that gold digging wasn’t in his nature, but after I turned on the water works, he became putty in my hands. I was discovering that being a girl can be a powerful weapon and hoped I would use my powers wisely. The way Mummy was looking at me after my little performance, I could tell that she could see right through me!

I went with Mummy, Andrew and Claire to see Monica the next day. Mummy and I had agreed not to say anything to my friends until we talked things over with Monica. When we got to her hospital room, she was sitting in a chair, covered in a blanket and reading a book. I hadn’t seen her for a while and was a bit shocked by her apparent state; she was thinner, looked decidedly frail and as white as a sheet.

Monica looked up as we all trooped in. ‘Hello,’ she smiled weakly, ‘coach parties are not allowed.’ How she could joke when she was like this, I would never know!

We all found chairs and after a lot of scraping around, we sat down. I won’t bore you with the conversation, it was the usual stuff about how are you, what’s been happening and Monica wanted to know what was happening in the outside world.

About twenty minutes later, Mummy and I left Andrew and Claire with their mum while we went out for a drink. We found the caféteria and sat down at a table. Sucking my coke through a straw, I paused momentarily. ‘She’s not very well, is she?’

‘No: it’s not that she’s getting worse, she’s much the same, but the doctors think she’s worried about money and her kids and it’s stopping her getting better.’

‘So if she agrees to move in with us, she should get better, more quickly?’

‘That’s right. I think a change of scenery and being closer to her kids would work wonders.’

‘I really hope so.’

After finishing our drinks, we went back to Monica’s room. Andrew and Claire decided that they wanted a drink then, which was good as it gave Mummy and I an opportunity to talk to Monica in private.

After the kids had left, Mummy got right down to it. ‘Monica, you haven’t got over the problem with your house yet, have you?’

‘No, it’s worrying me, a lot.’

‘We have a cunning plan–’

Mummy explained our idea of her moving in with us.

‘But I can’t!’

‘Why not?’ I said, ‘Andrew and Claire are living with us already and we have tons of room. You’ll be nearer them and you won’t need to worry about money or your house.’

She shook her head. ‘I can’t take charity.’

Mummy looked at me. ‘Susan, can you give us a few minutes, love? Go and see if you can find Claire and Andrew then come back in a little while, okay?’

‘All right, Mummy.’

I gave Monica a little smile and scooted. I wasn’t into this heavy parent-type stuff and was relieved to escape.

I found Andrew and Claire feeding their faces in the caféteria.

‘Hi,’ I said sitting down next to Andrew and squeezing his thigh.

‘Hi, yourself,’ said Andrew, looking at me with a smile.

‘Yuk!’ said Claire, disgustedly, ‘can’t you like, control yourselves in public.’

I looked across to her and poked my tongue out.

‘What about you and John? I’ve never seen so much tonsil tickling till I saw you two at it!

‘I’ll have you know, that John and I are like, soul mates. He sees how wonderful I am and I like, don’t disagree with him.’

We all started giggling at that and were soon talking about the next Harry Potter film and whether the dastardly ‘He Who Must Not Be Named’ would get his comeuppance.

After a bit, we went back to Monica’s room. Mummy and Monica were laughing at something or other and it was good to see Monica cheerful again; it made her look younger and much healthier. I raised my eyebrows enquiringly at Mummy and she gave a slight nod. We all sat down again and Monica spoke to her children.

‘Kids, it’s been agreed that I shall be moving in with Josie and her family tomorrow as soon as I’m discharged. We’ll all be together and it’ll give me time to sort out our finances. The house is going to be sold–you know I’ve wanted to move out for a while now–and living together again will help make me better sooner and Josie’s persuaded me that it’d be the best thing to do. What do you think?’

‘Wow, Mum.’

‘Yeah, like, WOW!’

We chatted for a few more minutes regarding the arrangements and then, because she looked a bit tired, we left, promising to see her tomorrow.

The next few days were a bit of a whirl as Monica moved in and we had to get her settled. Andrew and Claire were so much happier having their mum at home again and Monica seemed to perk up considerably when her worries were taken away and she was near her children again.

On the football front things were moving on too. The powers that be at Melchester were due to meet with the Football Association and the Premier League to tell them about me on this very day! Also at the meeting would be Daddy, as my representative and John Prentiss. I was on tenter hooks and spent ages, wandering about in the garden, thinking about ‘what ifs’.

Things were improving all the time down in the plumbing department. It no longer hurt me to have a wee and I didn’t spray so much now that the swelling had finally gone down. It seemed strange not having a penis; I had lived all my life with one and sometimes it still felt like it was still there–weird, or what?

Last night was a bit strange as Mummy took me up to her bedroom, sat me on the bed and then started telling me all about the birds and the bees. I had to stop her after a minute as I explained that I was neither a bird nor a bee and anyway, we had covered it all at school in lessons and what we didn’t learn there, we found out in the school playground from the more promiscuous of our friends, some of whom, frankly were liars.

‘Be that as it may,’ Mummy said, ‘it’s a bit different for you. You started out with one set of equipment and now you have a different one. You’re very new to this and you don’t learn everything from school or your friends. You’re a girl and girls have to be careful where they go and with whom they get involved. Most rape victims are women and more women than men are the victims of abuse. I know you went through hell and back with that father of yours so you know from personal experience what it’s like, but don’t think that now he’s in hell, that there aren’t going to be others who would do you harm, given the chance.’

‘I’ll be careful, Mummy, I promise.’

She came and gave me a hug. ‘I know you will, honey, but now you’re famous, there will be crackpots and lunatics out there who’ll think that you are fair game for them. Look, I’ve spoken to Jeff and we both agree that we can’t be with you one hundred percent of the time and we want to make sure that you’re protected. You ought to have someone near you all the time to prevent your getting hurt or at least being hassled by people, fans and others who, as soon as they see you, will think they have a right to come up to you, say and maybe, God forbid, do things to you.’

‘I don’t understand.’

‘Oh, Susan, don’t be so thick, love. You’re pretty, famous and about to get a whole lot more famous. Your father and I want to give you protection–a bodyguard or security guard if you prefer.’

‘Like that man, erm, Kevin Costner, in that film?’

‘If you mean The Bodyguard–yes, I suppose so.’

‘Cor, will he be as sexy as him?’

‘Susan Hurst–are you being funny with me?’

‘–and will he have big biceps and sweep me off my feet and make mad passionate love to––’

‘SUSAN!’

I couldn’t keep it up and soon we were both laughing and rolling about on the bed in hysterics. I loved my mummy–she was just like a big sister sometimes.

So John Prentiss, who knew about this sort of thing, was to arrange security cover for me. I was assured that I could afford it, so I let other people worry about that sort of thing while I tried to concentrate on getting as fit as possible.

I was feeling quite strong. I did know that I wasn’t like someone who had sexual reassignment surgery and I would get better quite quickly as long as I didn’t get any stupid infection or anything. Next week, I was going back to the hospital for an examination and to check that the stitches had dissolved and hopefully I would then get the all clear to get down to some more serious training.

My mind returned to last night. After having my birds and bees chat with Mummy, I had gone to bed thinking a bit more about my body. Andrew and I had managed to find a quiet room earlier and were able to have a nice kiss and cuddle without the fear of being discovered. I know I shouldn’t feel guilty about being so close to my boyfriend and wanting to do things that girlfriends and boyfriends do, but we were at home and it’s embarrassing when round every corner there might be someone lurking and–well you know what I mean–it cramps your style a bit!

I smiled as I lay in bed and thought of Andrew and my hand sort of gravitated down to between my legs. I slipped my fingers into my panties and between the slit; I discovered it was very damp down there...

‘Oooh!’ I moaned as sparks started flying and it seemed like Guy Fawkes night all over again–

Afterwards, I just lay there, panting. I had never experienced anything quite like it. Talk about total body experience! I was all hot and sweaty. My nightie felt uncomfortable too so I got up, took my damp things off and went and had a cool shower. I wore a shower cap as I didn’t want to have to deal with my hair tonight.

After my shower and a change of nightie, I snuggled up in bed, relaxed then went to sleep.

*~*

As I continued my walk around the grounds the next day, I came across Mr Moon, cutting down some hedging.

‘Hello, Mr Moon.’

‘Hello, Miss, fine morning.’

‘Yes it is.’ I watched him for a few moments and as I knew that he was a man of few words and quite busy, I moved on after a quick goodbye to him. To be honest, apart from my anxiety about my future, I was bored. Andrew and Claire were at school, Mummy was looking after Poppy and Daisy and everyone else but me was busy.

I went down to the water’s edge and sat on the bench. There were a few ducks about but having no bread for them, they soon lost interest in me. I kept looking at my watch, wondering how the meeting was progressing.

Maybe a decision on my future had already been made. Would I be able to play again and if so would it be with men or women? It was so unfair in this day and age that segregation was still around. It shouldn’t matter what gender you were if you could do the job, gender shouldn’t even be an issue, full stop.

My phone trilled. Picking it up I saw that it was a text from Andrew.

‘Hi babes, how’s it hanging?’

I laughed at Andrew’s attempts at American gangster text-speak. I just giggled and replied, ‘It’s not hanging anymore, you moron!’

‘Luv wou,’

‘Luv wou too, you soppy date, now get back to double maths’

I put my phone back in my coat pocket and shivered slightly. It was cold out here. I looked forward to wearing jeans again. Skirts were nice but more than a bit draughty sometimes.

I stood up and made my way back to the house.

I went into the kitchen where Mrs Moon was doing things with pastry and there was a yummy smell coming from one of the worktops. I went over and lifted a tea towel to see some jam tarts sitting there begging to be eaten.

‘Mrs Moon, can I?’

‘Oh go on then, just one, don’t want to spoil your lunch, dear.’

I picked up the warm tart and went to see what was happening in the sitting room.

Monica was there with Mummy and the twins, who were playing quietly, for once in the lobster pot pen thingy.

Monica was looking a lot better and was reading the paper while Mummy was tapping away at her netbook.

Mummy looked up for a minute.

‘Hi honey, nice walk?’

‘Not bad, got a bit cold so I came inside. I took a bite of the tart and sat down next to her.

‘Any news about the meeting?’

‘As soon as I find out, you’ll be the first to know, Susan.’

I finished my tart and then got up. I was soooo bored.

I went up to my room, plugged myself into my iPod lay down on the bed and tried to lose myself in some Shakira…

I felt a gentle nudge on my shoulder, so I opened my eyes and yawned. Mummy was sitting on the bed looking amused. I took the ’phones out of my ears.

‘Hello, Mummy,’ I said, yawning again and rubbing my eyes.

‘Mrs Moon has been shouting up for five minutes. It’s lunch time.’

‘Oh, I must have nodded off.’

‘Mmm, for an hour.’

‘Any news?’

‘No, not yet. Come and have something to eat.’

‘Okay, I’ll be down in a minute.’

I went to the bathroom and then headed downstairs to the kitchen. Grabbing a sandwich and a coke from the fridge, I went into the sitting room where the others were. There were no signs of the “terrible twins”, so I assumed that they were in beddy-byes.

I sat by the window and looked out. Was this what it was like being an adult, just sitting about or doing boooooring things like reading papers and watching the television, like the others were doing?

I glanced at my watch–it was only five minutes since I last looked at it. Munching on my sandwich, my thoughts returned to last night and my first girlie orgasm. I wondered if it would always be like that and…

The phone rang, making me jump.

Mummy got up and answered it.

‘Hi love; what happened?’

I watched her, looking for signs about the result of the meeting. After a series of yeses, noes and mmm’s she looked at me and raised her eyebrows.

‘Okay, I’ll tell her. See you later then. Oh are arranging that security thing we talked about? Good, bye love.’

She put the phone down and walked over to me and sat down. Monica was fast asleep in a chair so Mummy kept her voice down. ‘They’ve had their meeting, honey. You can understand that a lot was done prior to that, to find out about the legal side of things. They had also had a word with the governing body, FIFA, and got their views on the matter. The FIFA committee met yesterday and passed their decision on to the FA and Premier League people. You know that if FIFA says no, it can cause problems even though they don’t involve themselves in the day to day running of domestic football?’

I just nodded, just wanting her to tell me about what I could or couldn’t do.

‘Okay, after thinking things over it’s been decided that you can stay and play for Melchester in the men’s team on a trial basis until the end of the season. If it doesn’t work out, you can, if you wish, join the women’s team. The matter will be reviewed at the end of the season. What do you think?’

‘So I can still play?’

‘That’s what I was saying.’

I stood up and rushed around the room as if I had scored a goal. Monica, almost leapt out of her chair and nearly expired on the spot. Mrs Moon came running in at the sound of my noise and Mummy tried to prise me off of the ceiling. I ran out of the sitting room, through the kitchen and out into the grounds. I shouted ‘YES!’ at the top of my voice and punched the air.

Time would tell if I would be a success or not. Players and supporters alike might accept or reject me. I would be the focus of much attention from media and public alike and I was sure that things would not run smoothly but there was one fact that made me smile and laugh with delight…

…Susan Hurst was going to be a premier league footballer–officially!

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To Be Continued...

Please leave comments...thanks! ~Sue

My thanks go to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing and pulling the story into shape.