As I drove into my hometown of Westheath, my mood was as grey and gloomy as the late winter weather, coming back was not something I was looking forward to. Although I now lived and worked only 10 miles away, I had rarely been home since leaving for university four years ago, the last time twelve months ago as I had drifted apart from my family. However, it was now time to put all that behind me and look to the future rather than dwell on the problems of the past. It was not a return that I was expecting to last more than a few days while the family affairs were sorted out. As the only child it was my responsibility to deal with matters after the violent and undeserved death of my parents, tragically and brutally knifed during a burglary that had gone horribly wrong.

The journey through the town to the family house brought back many memories, some pleasant, some I would rather forget, as I passed buildings and shops that I had known from my younger days. A few remained as they had always been, many had closed and were now shuttered, others had been revamped, many of the characterful old Georgian and Victorian buildings had been demolished and replaced with bland concrete and glass monstrosities.

As I pulled up in the drive in front of the family home, I buttoned up my heavy winter coat as protection from the biting northerly wind, pleased that I had decided to wear trousers and boots rather than the skirts and heels that I now normally wore. I dragged my heavy trolley case behind me to front door and paused for a moment remembering the last time I had been there. It had not gone well, they were uncomfortable and embarrassed at how I had changed whilst I had been away at university.

I rummaged in my bag to find the keys that luckily I had kept although never intending to return and use them again, took a deep breath, unlocked the door and stepped inside, back to my former life. Fortunately the police and forensic team who had entered the house after attending to investigate the sounding of the burglar alarm, had left the place reasonably clean and tidy and the heating operating. I stood there for a while whilst the memories came flooding back before going up to my room which had been left unchanged by my parents in the hope that things could be reconciled between us. It didn’t take too long to put away any remnants of my childhood and youth, clear space in the wardrobes, and empty my suitcase, hanging up my clothes or putting things in place.

I was not in the mood to see what was left in the kitchen cupboards and prepare a meal, deciding instead to go to the small Thai restaurant in the local shopping precinct.

Thankfully there were none of the neighbours braving the weather, all hiding in their homes, behind the closed curtains to keep in the warmth. I was trying to avoid difficult conversations as much as possible, I was not in the right frame of mind to deal with people who knew me as I used to be. I had been to the restaurant many times with my parents in better days but was not recognised, unsurprisingly, and ate my meal alone without any serious conversations. The food was pleasant enough but I was eating for sustenance rather than enjoyment, and soon returned to the lonely house to face all the ghosts of my past.

After a restless night’s sleep, the following morning I had necessary business to attend to, the police mortuary to formally identify the bodies, the funeral director to make the necessary arrangements, and the newspaper office to agree an announcement of the deaths and the funeral details. On the way back home I stopped as I passed my old school, Greenhill High, standing in the chill morning air staring through the railings at the grey pre-war buildings and stood for a while remembering everything that had happened there. There were not many happy memories. I had never been one of the popular kids, being shy and withdrawn without making any real friends. I was glad to finish my education there and head off to university where I was able to have a social life with new friends and reset my life.

I was just about to move on when I was approached by a young woman, who I immediately recognised as someone who had shared many of my classes at school.

“Hello, you look as if you are recalling your schooldays there, I often think back to the people I knew and the times we had, I had such happy times there.”

“Mine were not so happy and I was glad to finally leave, but life goes on, things constantly change and it doesn’t pay to live in the past.” I was glad to have a conversation even though it was just social pleasantries.

“You seem a bit down, do you fancy a chat?”she asked with a smile. “There’s a lovely little café just down the road, it’s a lot different to what it was in the old days when we were at school, and it does delicious cakes and fancies.”

I surprised myself by agreeing to go with her, but it was good to hear a friendly non-judgemental voice. We made our way to the café, ordered cappuccinos and cream cakes and sat down at a corner table next to a picture widow giving views to the hustle and bustle outside.

“I’m Samantha Cooper, Sam to my friends. Pleased to meet you. You look about the same age as me, we must have come across each other during our time at Greenhill.”

“I’m Joanna Marshall, but you won’t remember me, I was one of the nondescript bland pupils that just drifted through my schooldays.” We reminisced about the teachers we had and other classmates that we remembered for about an hour, but the memories were beginning to get to me adding to the depression about the loss of my parents.

“You look like you are getting upset Joanna, you are obviously troubled about something, do you wish to share your problems with me?”

“It’s not really about the schooldays, I’m back in town for the funeral of my parents and I am just feeling lonely, I’ve been away at university and have no close friends or family still living here.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, what happened?”

“They interrupted a burglary when they returned home after a night at the theatre, the thieves panicked and one of them knifed Mum and Dad, but according to the police at least it was a quick death.”

“Oh, I read about that, it was awful, you must be devastated. It was on the local news for a few days, but it has now gone quiet. Are the police getting anywhere with finding out who did it?”

“I’ve been to the station to see them this morning, they have some forensic evidence, fingerprints and DNA, but they have no records of any matches so things are stalling.”

“You said you have no friends or close relatives nearby, if you need to talk I am usually free to meet up. I never knew your parents, but if it would make things easier for you I can help you sort things out and make arrangements. If you wish I can accompany you to the funeral, it is always comforting to have someone to lean on at such times.”

“Than you so much Sam, I would appreciate that. The funeral will be difficult enough meeting with relatives, their friends and neighbours, I have not been home for a while and have changed a lot since I’ve been away.”

“I’ve been racking my brain trying to remember you from school Joanna, but I cannot place you at all. You do not seem to be a person that I would forget about.”

I went silent for a while trying to decide whether to be honest and open with Samantha, but she seemed kind and considerate and I needed a friend, someone to share my problems with.

“I’ve changed a lot since my schooldays, you might remember me by my former name, James Marshall.”

I was half-expecting Samantha to get up and walk away, a reaction I had got in the past from many people when they learned about my transition, but after looking closely at me she smiled, reached across the table and took my hand,

“Of course, I remember you now, but you have certainly changed a lot since those days, not just your appearance, then you were so shy and solitary and would never have talked to me the way you have done for the last hour or so. It must have been so difficult for you to open up about that, there is obviously a lot more to tell. Let’s go somewhere more private and have a longer chat, you must have a lot of worries about meeting people who knew the former you.”

“The house isn’t too far away, if you have the time we can go back there.” I offered and she gladly accepted.

We were soon settled back in the house sharing a bottle of wine that I had found chilling in the fridge.

“If it’’s not too personal a question are you a full woman now Joanna, you certainly look and act the part?”

“As much as I can ever be. During my time at university I became involved with an LGBT group which included several cross-dressers and trans women, and came to realise that all my childhood angst stemmed from being uncomfortable with the body I had. With the help of others in the group I gradually adopted a female lifestyle leading to a full transition. When I was at school I was so jealous of the way everyone was going through puberty, other boys were growing taller and more muscular, and the girls were all turning into confident and shapely young woman, but I just stayed more or less as I was, I remained small and scrawny. I didn’t feel comfortable in the company of other boys, and I was not the sort of person that you girls would want to be associated with.”

“You say that, but we did try to get you to talk with us sometimes, sitting at the dinner table at lunchtime, but you barely responded when we tried to draw you into our conversations. I realise that in the early teens boys and girls tend to live separate existences and it would have seemed unusual for you to make friends with us, rather than trying to get into our knickers like the other boys were doing. However, you could have had a much better life, particularly the way you have now turned out. If it does not embarrass you, you have turned into a much better person than James ever was. You are attractive, personable, and talk and act as much of a woman as anyone else I know.”

I burst into tears causing Samantha to sit closer and give me a comforting hug.

“One of the reasons that I have not been back here for a long time is that my parents. other relatives, and people who knew me couldn’t accept the way I now wanted to live. They were not hostile, aggressive, insulting, or anything like that, it was just that they were uncomfortable with what I was doing and we gradually had nothing in common and drifted apart. However, I will now have to face the extended family at the funeral and just hope that none of them will make a scene to take away from the solemnity of the occasion.”

“I’ve already told you that you will not be alone going through it all, I will be with you, a hand to hold, a shoulder to lean on.”

“Why are you being like this Sam, many people just cannot accept what I have done, and are either embarrassed or disgusted and shy away from me?”

“I once knew someone else like you, but unfortunately he did not have the support network you had at university, he couldn’t live a lie anymore and took a barbiturate overdose to end all his problems. You are making a new life for yourself, and are a success at it, you are not a threat to anyone, and do not not stand out from the crowd, why should anyone deny you the right to a happy life? As far as I am concerned James has gone and I am now offering to help you and be a friend to Joanna.”

Over the following days we spent a lot of time together, soon getting over any discussion of my transition and former life, other than now being able to talk a lot more freely about our schooldays.

The day of the funeral arrived, dressed in black mourning clothes Samantha and I arrived at the church and watched from outside as most people entered to find a place for the service, nobody approached us to say hello and sympathise. The undertakers hearse soon arrived carrying my parents for their final journey. Samantha and I walked slowly behind the coffin and pall-bearers to the front of the church sliding into the front row pew reserved for close family. As we walked in I felt the stares and caught the whispered comments about me, but Samantha gripped my hand and told me to keep my head up and ignore it all. I had decided to not give a eulogy as I did not want to risk spoiling the solemn occasion by provoking insulting comments from some of my relatives that had never accepted me as Joanna. After the service we stood at the doorway to receive condolences from the congregation as they left. Some offered kind bland words, but most studiously ignored me as they left.

When we arrived at the graveside there were very few people left, just Samantha, myself, Abby Sara and Michael my cousins, and two of my parents’s close friends, the sympathies and respect of everyone else had been reserved for my parents, there was little directed towards me. Samantha had helped me arrange a buffet for anyone that wanted to talk and share their thoughts and memories, but it turned out that only seven of us went back to the house.

Away from the gaze of people less tolerant of me, my cousins were much happier to be in my company.

“So glad to meet you again after all these years Joanna, I must apologise for my parents not coming back with us. I can’t understand why, but they said that they would be embarrassed to be in your company, your parents were not comfortable with the changes in your life and that carried over to them.” Sara said as she hugged me.

Abby was equally glad to see me again, giving me a long kiss and a hug, but Michael was a bit more reserved and cool, a typical man afraid to show his emotions and unsure how to treat me.

Jim and Mary, the close friends of Mum and dad, who I had always known since childhood as Uncle Jim and Auntie Mary took me aside. “I can’t apologise for the way your Mum and Dad treated you, we told them many times that you were still their child and that you deserved their love, but they just couldn’t get comfortable with you after your transition. It’s an awful shame that they never got over it and that you had to keep your distance. If there is anything we can do to help you, don’t be frightened to ask.”

They all stayed a while reminiscing with stories about Mum and Dad, before leaving for home, with promises that I could always count on them if I needed to talk. Samantha who had been introduced to them all as a close friend, had done a wonderful job playing hostess keeping everyone supplied with food and drink and stayed behind to help me sort everything out.

“That wasn’t as bad as it could have been Joanna. Just ignore the people that shunned you and be thankful for the people that stood by you. Your cousins seemed to like the new you and it wouldn’t surprise me if next time they visit they will have their Mum with them. What happens now, are you staying for a while or do you have to get home and back to work?”

“I really need to get back to work, I have to prepare the company’s quarterly accounts next week.”

“You’ve never told me what exactly you do for a living, we’ve been so involved in sorting out what to do about your parents.”

“I’m the deputy CFO of a medium size construction company. After I graduated and went on to get my MBA I was head-hunted to become the deputy to the current CFO who is due to retire in a few years, and hopefully I will take over his role.”

“It sounds like a stressful highflying job, and it must be unusual for a woman to be in that position in a male-dominated industry, never mind someone who is transgender.”

“Very few people in the company know about my past life, and any comments and doubts about my suitability for the role are those that any other woman would receive, it’s just something that I have to deal with. “I’m feeling a bit down after everything today, if you’ve no other plans would you mind staying here for a while, to keep me company.”

“There’s still a lot of food and wine left from the buffet, let’s get a bottle and some snacks and you can tell me all your plans for the future.”

Samantha and I chatted into the early hours and she stayed the night in the spare room until she had to leave to go to work in the morning. I decided it was time to try to sort out what was stored in the house, sooner or later it would need to be cleared for when I put it up for sale. I started with the clothes and memorabilia that had belonged to me as James. They were no longer a part of my life, and I needed to cut myself off from the memories that they would bring. Soon all the wardrobes, cupboards and drawers were empty of all James’ possessions, sorted into sacks and boxes of rubbish, items for the charity shops, and items that I would try to shift to for a little bit of money on the resale websites.

As I returned from first trip to the recycling centre and the charity shops, I was just opening the front door when a young woman walked up the drive behind me.

“Hi Joanna, I’m Rose, we’ve not met except at the funeral yesterday, I live over the road at number 15. Sorry I couldn’t stay to come back to the house after the funeral, but I had to pick up my son from nursery school. Have you got time for a chat?”

“Come on in, I have just made a start clearing up some of the things collected over the years and was about to make coffee and snack on some of the leftovers from yesterday’s buffet.”

“I think that some of the people at the church treated you unkindly, ignoring you as they left and not going to the graveside. You don’t have to explain anything to me, your mother told me all about you, but that does not excuse them all snubbing you like that.”

“Doesn’t it bother you that I am transgender?”

“Not at all, I only moved here about a year ago, so never knew James, I only know you as Joanna, as a young woman, so maybe that is why it doesn’t bother me.”

“So did my mum tell you what a confused person I was and that they were embarrassed in my company once I stared transitioning.”

“Anything but that, in many ways she was proud of you having the courage to live your life as you felt comfortable, and what a successful career you have made for yourself.”

“I wish she had told me that, but it’s too late now.” I replied with tears in my eyes.

“I don’t know what you are going to do with the house, it’s none of my business, but she told me several times that she was hoping that you would come back home someday and that the family would be reunited.”

“I’m not sure, I was thinking of selling up, but I work only about ten miles from here and could easily travel, the apartment I am leasing is a lot smaller than this house, and apart from the memories it would recall I would be much more comfortable here. The only thing worrying me is that too many people knew me before, and as you saw at the funeral they cannot accept what I have done and who I am.”

“Too many people are over-judgemental. If they are important they will gradually warm to you, if they don’t, so what, do they really matter? I have a similar problem from some of the neighbours, I’m an unmarried single mum which many frown upon. I get on with those that accept me and just ignore the others. I saw that you have had someone helping you the last few days, she seems like a good friend, and I’m on your side too, so that’s a start.”

“Thanks Rose, that’s so kind of you. I’ll have a think about whether to move back or not.”

“I’m sure that you have a lot to do, sorting out what to keep and what to get rid of, if you need an extra pair of hands just call me over.”

“It’s mostly done already, but thanks anyway.”

“I’d better be going, it’s time to pick up Max from nursery school.”

“Bring him over, I’d like to meet him, I’ve found a few things hidden in the loft from when I was his age that he might like, my mum was a hoarder and kept lots of family mementos.”

Max was a delight, he was thrilled with some of the books and toys that I had given him, but even at his young age he recognised gender stereotypes and wondered why a girl like me had such toys. By the time they left for home, he was already calling me Auntie Joanna, which surprisingly gave me a warm feeling, and asked me whether I could look after him when his mummy had to go out.

The next afternoon Rose rang to ask me if I could collect Max from nursery school as she was stuck in traffic behind an accident. I was unsure how I would be welcomed by the mums waiting for their children to come out of school, but there was no option. Warily, I approached the others waiting at the gates, expecting comments about people like me being a threat to their children, but obviously was not recognised as I joined in the general chat. When Max saw me he came running over and hugged me around my legs.

“Hi, Auntie Joanna, where’s mummy?” He trilled which brought a welcome smile from some of the other mums. He grabbed my hand and after saying goodbye to some of his classmates we walked home, where Rose was just arriving.

“How did it go Jo, did you have any bother?” She asked with a worried frown.

“None at all, there was no-one there who knew the old me, I was just accepted as Max’s Auntie Joanna. I chatted for a while with Carol and Kathy who were waiting for their sons who are in the same class as Max.”

“Oh, I know them, they are quite friendly. Would you do me a favour and take Max to school in the morning, I need to get into work a bit earlier than normal?”

In the morning I went over to Rose’s, and sat with Max while he was having his breakfast and Rose left for work. As I dropped him off at the school gate, Kathy and Carol came over to say hello.

“Morning Joanna, we’re going down or a coffee and cake, would you like to join us if you’re not in a rush to go somewhere?”

We spent a pleasant half-hour chatting, mainly about the nursery school, Max and their children, before the subject I was dreading came up.

“We hear that one of Rose’s neighbours who is dressing as a woman is actually a man, have you seen him yet, does he look weird, and are you both not worried about any danger to Max from him?” Kathy asked.

I almost burst into tears, I had thought that I had found some friends who fully accepted me as Joanna. I had two choices, either feign surprise and continue to be seen by them as Rose’s sister or just be upfront with them and see how they would react. As Rose had said, if people don’t want to accept me so what, do they really matter, so I decided to be honest with them.

“Actually that neighbour have heard about is me. I am not a man wearing women’s clothes I am now as much of a woman as you are, well almost, I can obviously never have children, and am no more of a threat to your children than any other woman. I will leave you to judge whether or not I look weird. I suppose that you will want me to leave now.” I stood up to go.

There was a stunned silence while they took in what I had just said, before Kathy grabbed my hand.

“Sit yourself back down Joanna, there’s no need for that. I apologise if I have upset you, I hope that that you don’t take it as an insult, in a way it’s a compliment, I never took you as anything but another woman.”

“That goes for me too, you must tell us more yourself if you don’t think that we are being too nosey.” Carol added.

I opened up to them telling them all-out my upbringing as a boy but always feeling different somehow, my gradual realisation of the person that I should be, and my journey to womanhood, with all the problems that caused with my parents and others that knew me.

“Well I think that your parents treated you appallingly Joanna, making you feel that they didn’t love you or want to know you anymore,” Kathy had tears forming in her eyes as I told my story.

“According to Rose my mum told her that she was proud that I was strong enough to live my life as felt right for me and that I had overcome my difficulties to get my qualifications and make a successful career. I wish she had told me, but it’s too late for that now although I think there’s a chance of a reconciliation with my cousins and my aunt. I only really intended to stay long enough for the funeral and to sort things out but I’m thinking of moving back into the family home. Since I’ve been here I’ve made two really good friends, Samantha and Rose, who accept me as I am and are encouraging me to not care about anyone who doesn’t want to know me.”

After exchanging glances with Carol , Kathy took my hand “Make that four friends Joanna, you can count on Carol and me too. We’ll give you our numbers, if you need to talk please give either of us a call. Unfortunately I need to get back home, I’m expecting a delivery soon, will you be back later to pick up Max after school?”

“I’m not sure, Rose should be back in time, but I will probably come with her, so one way or another I’ll see you later.”

When I returned home, amongst the junk mail there were two envelopes lying on the hall floor under the letterbox, I picked them up, dropped them on the kitchen table and set the coffee machine going before taking off my coat and sitting down to check the mail.

The first letter was from the police asking me to go in to let them take a DNA swab and my fingerprints for elimination purposes, although I couldn’t understand what use they would be, I hadn’t set foot in the house for over a year.

The second one, addressed to ‘Mr James Marshall’ was from Carter & Fowler advising me that as my fathers solicitors and executors of his estate, they would like me to make an appointment to discuss the terms of his will. Other than the house I was not aware any significant assets that would justify a formal reading of the will.

I contacted both and arranged visits the following day, The Police early morning followed by the solicitor.

When I arrived at Carter & Fowler there was initially a lot of confusion as they were not aware of my transition. They had expected to see me as James. However I had foreseen this and had all the relevant documents with me in my bag, confirming my transition and name change.

“Thank you for coming in, er Miss Marshall.” Mr Fowler stumbled over my title. “My apologies for the earlier confusion and my condolences on your loss. Fortunately your parents had mirror wills both making the same bequests except for a few minor personal gifts so there is no conflict or confusion about who died first. To summarise, you are the sole beneficiary of all their joint and individual assets. Here is a copy of the will along with details of all bank accounts, investments and other properties. Overall including the value of the family home the joint estate is just over £1,250,000 and would normally be subject to payment of some inheritance tax. However your father wisely created an investment account in your name, transferring gifts to you some years ago which are not taxable, neither is the value of the house as it is staying in the immediate family. Because of the size of the estate it will need to go through probate, which means that the funds are not immediately available to you, however the account in your name is readily accessible although the investment house will almost certainly require proof of your identity and name change. As executor I will deal with all the legal processes, and if there is anything we can do to help please contact me.’

I left their offices in a daze, I had no idea that my parents had such substantial assets. Despite the problems they had with my transition , they had still made sure that I could look forward to a comfortable future. When I had returned home, I sat for a while taking it all in before leaving messages with Samantha and Rose asking them to come to the house after work.

“Thanks for coming over girls, I need your advice. I’ve been to see my father’s solicitor and executor of his will this morning. It appears that along with the house, I’ve inherited a substantial sum of money. I have now decided that this means I will be living here in the family home, in the town. When I came back to organise the funeral I only intended to stay for a few days and then sell up, but the friendship I have received from you both, and from Carol and Kathy, has convinced me that I can move back without too much aggravation despite the cool reception I received at the church after the funeral, and all the wary glances from people passing me in the streets. Despite all that hostility and rejection, without going silly I would like to do something to benefit the town, particularly this local area, in memory of my parents, what do you think?”

“Considering how you were treated at the funeral I think that is extremely generous, and mostly undeserved.” Samantha was the first to recover from the shock.

“How much were you thinking of allocating?” asked the ever-practical Rose.

“About £100k, but I need to get a few things sorted out first, so that gives us a bit of time to decide on something suitable. The other thing is I would need to set up something like a trust fund or charity, and want you two to join me as trustees to assist in planning and organising things. Obviously that is not enough money for a building or a major extension but could be used to improve or update an existing facility such as the community hall, the playing field and kiddies playground, or the local primary school, although because of my unhappy memories of my time there I want to avoid Greenhill High.”

“I think that they are brilliant ideas.” Rose added. I know that the nursery school where Max attends is linked to the primary school which wants to reorganise and update their library to encourage more kiddies to read regularly. Also the park playground needs updating, everything is about twenty years old, but that is me just being self-interested. I’ll have a discreet ask around to see if I can get any more suggestions.”

“Me too,”offered Samatha, “although with working full-time and not having children yet I am not out and about in the community as much as Rose.”

“OK, both of you have a think about it and we’ll get together again next week.”

After they left I was getting my thoughts together when I was interrupted by my phone ringing, it was Graham Northwood the owner and chairman of Northwood Building Group, the company I worked for.

“Good afternoon Joanna, I know that you are still on bereavement leave but there is something I need to discuss with you urgently, are you free to come in to the office this afternoon?”

“I’ve just finished something so if it is important I can be there in about 30 minutes.” Wondering what was so urgent I drove over and went up to Mr Northwood’s office.

“Thanks for coming in Joanna, I’ll not beat about the bush. Jack Harrison , the CFO, has suffered a mild heart attack, he is recovering well and should be fine. However as he is due for retirement next year anyway, he has decided that he doesn’t want the stress and responsibility anymore and has resigned from his role. He has recommended that you are more than capable to take over the role, and I agree, what do you say?”

“I am sorry to hear about his illness, it is not how I would like to succeed him, but it is something he has been preparing me for. Obviously it is something I was aiming for and am delighted that you have asked me.”

“Obviously there will be a substantial salary increase, a seat on the board with shareholding, profit sharing and other benefits which I’m certain will be acceptable to you, I will get my PA to write to you confirming everything. Meanwhile, we need you to steer the ship, can you start tomorrow?”

“I’m here now, I may as well start immediately, I’ll go to say hello to the team in the accounts office, make sure everything is under control and that there is nothing that can’t wait.”

The next few days were busy times for me, settling in to my new role, but I still managed to squeeze a bit of time to sort out details of the trust fund and arranged to meet up with Samantha and Rose.

“Right girls, I have a lot to report but want to do this formally. Sam, you are a secretary in a solicitor’s office and must be used to taking notes and issuing minutes of meetings, are you happy to do that?”

“That’s fine, no problem Madam Chairman.” She replied jokingly.

“First things first, I have registered the ‘Marshall Community Trust’ as a charity and opened a bank account to hold the funds, I’ll email you both details and access passwords.

Secondly, unless either of you disagree, I suggest that we open a ‘Just Giving’ account to encourage community involvement and commitment to any project we support. There is a fee of about 2% taken from the donations to cover bank and credit card charges but this is more than covered by a 25% top up by the tax authorities for donations given using ‘Gift Aid’, which anyone paying income tax can utilise.

Thirdly, until we get an idea of the level of community involvement and donations, and the cost of any proposed projects, I have opened the bank account with a donation of £50,000 seed money, the rest will come when we know what’s what and when probate clears the transfer of the bulk of my inheritance. Do you agree?”

Both quickly confirmed their agreement

“I have in the last few days had a major promotion at work and am now in a position to influence the company’s policies. I have agreed with the chairman that the company will support our charity by donating materials and labour to carry out any minor construction work, and have talked several of our major sub-contractors and suppliers to either carry out work or supply materials free of charge or at cost price. It’s not all just kind-heartedness, there are all sorts of tax offset benefits and material costs write-offs for them that will significantly reduce costs of any work on our projects.”

“Wow, that’s amazing, give me the details of the tax offset scheme and I will have a word with my boss at work about carrying out any legal services at a discount or even as pro-bono.” Sam offered.”

“If it can be organised without too much delay to fit in with the school summer holidays, I have discussed things with the head teacher at the school and they would like to extend the library by converting an adjacent room which needs a bit of alteration and refurbishment.”suggested Rose. “It shouldn’t cost too much, particularly if we can get the help you have just outlined, and it would raise the profile of the Trust in the community quite quickly.”

“Follow that up please Rose, have an official discussion with the headteacher and ask Carol and Kathy for any opinions on what they would like the library to offer. Unless anyone has anything else to discuss, let’s call it a day and close the meeting. I apologise for the business-like approach but we need to do this on a formal basis. Sam, please record the discussions and email copies of the minutes to Rose and me.”

We met again a week later to check on progress. “Thank you for the minutes of last weeks meeting Sam, I’m happy with them, what about you Rose?” She nodded agreement.

“I’ve got nothing more to report until things start to take off, have you anything Sam?”

“Good news, I had a word with the senior partner at my office and he is prepared, if you wish, to join us as a trustee, he says that it is always wiser and more professional to have a legal adviser on board. As a trustee, any advice he gives at our meetings will not be charged, and anything needing research or basic form filling will also be at no cost.”

“That sounds OK, but I would like to meet him to make sure that he is onboard with the principles of what we want to do, what about you Rose?”

“I’m not used to most of this and am a bit overwhelmed, but it can do no harm to talk with him. Changing the subject, I have a sketch of what the school would like altereded in the library area. Apart from a new opening between the rooms it’s nothing major, only shelving, pin-boards, new lighting and a lick of paint.”

“Sounds like we have our first project Ladies. I’ll get one of our project planners at work to flesh it out a bit and get it priced up, well done Rose. Unless anyone comes knocking at the door, we’ll not go searching for anything else at the moment, we’ll use this as a testbed, get some publicity in the local paper and WhatsApp group and see what interest we spark. Thanks for your efforts, meeting closed, anyone fancy a glass of wine to celebrate the progress.”

The next day, I was surprised to receive a call from my cousin Abby. “Hi Jo, are you free on Saturday we would all like to come over for a visit? if it’s OK with you, Mum would like to come too.” which shocked me after the way my Aunt Margaret had snubbed me at the funeral.

“That’s fine, so long as she is coming willingly and not because you have forced her into it, I don’t want any unpleasantness.”

Actually it went a lot better than I has expected. Abby and Sara greeted me with big hugs, Michael was still a bit unsure as to how to treat me and just gave a warm smile, Aunt Margaret was still not totally comfortable and spent a lot of time watching me looking for any faults in my presentation as a female showing signs of my former life as James. However by the end of the visit she had apologised for the way she had behaved at the funeral and had treated me over the previous years. At least now, as well as some friends, I also had an extended family. I was so pleased that Abby and Sara had talked her into accepting me and was most grateful to them.

A week later I was visited by Samantha’s boss at Hyde and Griffiths, Jeremy Griffiths, a dapper sixty-something surprisingly casually dressed in chinos and a golfing jumper who greeted me with a smile and a warm handshake.

“Samantha has told me quite a lot about what you intend to do Joanna, and I like to think that I may be of some help. From what I have heard you seem to have a sound business background, I have many years dabbling in the law, between us I think we have most of the important angles covered. I must say I am very impressed by the way you have set up and are managing the trust.”

“Thank you, Mr Griffiths may I call you Jeremy?”

“Off course dear girl, although most of my friends call me Jerry.”

“Calling me ‘dear girl’ brings me to an important point Jerry, has Sam mentioned that I am transexual, does that bother you and what will people think of you associating with me?”

“She has mentioned it, but obviously it doesn’t bother me or otherwise I wouldn’t be here. Over the years there’s very little in life’s rich tapestry that I haven’t come across, I take people as I find them and I like what I have heard from Samantha and see here. As for what people think, I am at an age where I don’t feel the need to impress people anymore, if they don’t like me or what I am doing that’s their problem, and in your situation the sooner you learn that the better.” he replied with a broad smile accompanied by a pat on my hand. If he wasn’t at least twice my age I would have sworn that he was flirting with me.

“What makes you want to get involved with projects we are looking at in this town, it’s not exactly your home territory?”

“You couldn’t be more wrong dear girl. I was raised in Westheath and attended Greenhill High, like you and Samantha, although many years before your time. I live just outside the town, up on Westheath Ridge and am a member of the local Rotary Club. Actually that may be a help to you, the club often get appeals for help that are not appropriate for us but would sit nicely into your operations, or hopefully can I say our operations.”

“At the moment we are just starting up so there are not too many demands on our time, but if things get busy can you spare the time, you must be a very busy man.”

“To be honest most of the work these days is done by the junior partners and paralegals, I’m more of a figurehead, reference point, and business manager, this venture of yours has sparked my interest and enthusiasm, I can easily make the time available.”

“Welcome to the team Jerry. We are just starting a small project at the local school and we have a meeting next Tuesday evening, that is Sam, myself, and Rose the other trustee, I hope you can come to hear the update.”

“I’d love to dear girl, you can’t keep me away, I’ll see you then.” As he left there was no formal handshake, replaced by a warm hug, a cheek kiss and a twinkle in his eye.

Rose and Samantha arrived early for the meeting and I told them that Jerry would be joining us.

“What did you think of him, I always find him a bit dry and aloof in the office and I have never heard him called anything but Mr Griffiths?” Samantha sounded surprised.

“He was absolutely charming, he obviously has a professional image to live up to at work, but I think that you will find him to be a different person this evening.”

As predicted he oozed charm when he arrived, greeting me with a kiss on the cheek before turning to the others. “You must be Rose, I’m so pleased to meet you. I’m Jerry. That goes for you too Samantha, or do you prefer Sam as Joanna calls you. In the office I am the Senior Partner and you are junior staff so it should remain Mr Griffiths and Samantha, but here we are all equals so please call me Jerry.

“Right everyone there’s coffee and biscuits, help yourself and we’ll get down to business.”

“You go first Rose. Is everything cleared with the school, are they happy for us to proceed.”

“The head teacher was delighted with our proposal and can’t wait for it to be done. She was ever so grateful, it is something they have thought about for a long time.”

“Thank you for that Rose. I’ve had the scheme for the school library refurbishment fully planned and costed. With all the promises of discounted or free materials and labour from my company and our suppliers it should only cost us a few hundred pounds. I can’t guarantee that the initial generosity and cooperation will be there for future projects so I would like to get started as soon as possible before enthusiasm wanes. Overall the work can be completed within three weeks and can therefore be fitted in during the school spring holidays. Rose can you please lease with the school for them to get the area and access to it cleared off all loose items and furniture at the end of term, the builders will deal with any fixtures that need to be removed. We need lots of photos of the area before the work starts, and obviously after completion for publicity purposes. Can you also deal with that, perhaps get Carol and Kathy to help?”

“Leave that with me, I can manage that.”

“Sam, can you set up a ‘Just Giving’ account appeal specifically for this project, describing what we are doing, and encourage donations using gift aid, where possible. When it is live, kick it off with a couple of anonymous donations by bank transfer from our account for nominal amounts, say £20 and £25. Advertise it on the local news WhatsApp site as if it is an appeal by the school with their permission, along with the hyperlink and payment details. We’ll see what support we get, we can always top it up with a donation listed as donated by the Trust at a later date. If you have any problems give me a call. OK, that’s me finished, is there any other business.”

“I’ve got something that may interest you.” Jerry offered. “At Rotary we’ve had a request for help from the committee at the local community centre, which is outside the scope of what we can do. Apparently the electrical installation is in a dire state and needs replacing, Along with that the lighting is bland, outdated, inflexible and costly to run. If a more modern energy-efficient system is installed, along with a programmable control system it will significantly reduce their running costs
and allow the hall to be used for a wider range of events and functions, The hall, although owned by the council is financed and managed by a charitable trust who try to raise money through running events but do not seem as switched on so much as you ladies are. Is that something you feel you could help with?”

“It’s worth looking into. I’ll organise someone to have a look and give us a report. Sam, please check out their website and let us know what you think, particularly in relation to fund raising and publicity for events, perhaps they just need to have a slicker image. Thank you for that Jerry, please let your fellow Rotarians know that we are following it up.”

If there is no other business we’ll close the meeting, and have a glass of wine, or whiskey if you prefer Jerry. Sam please copy Jerry in on the minutes of the meeting.”

Soon the school library was completed, almost half the funds coming from ‘Just Giving’ donations with the Trust topping it up. Although it was a relatively small project the local newspaper made a big splash with it, excited that the Trust could start a revival in the community facilities. As Rose had done most of the liaison with the school we selected her to cut the ribbon at the official opening and present a plaque recording our involvement.

The report I received on the community hall was damning, condemning the electrical installation as a safety hazard which needed urgent replacement, and the hall was threatened with closure. Sam worked her magic on their website and donations and grants rose significantly directly to their charity account rather than via Just Giving. Because of the urgency the Trust gave an interest-free bridging loan for 40% of the cost along with a 40% grant to top up what they had already raised.

Sam did the honours representing the Trust at the hall’s first major event, a dinner dance with a local comedian compering the entertainment by a show band and tribute act. We all attended along with Sam’s fiancé Tom and Jerry’s wife Naomi. We were becoming well-known minor celebrities in the town, I was surprised at how many people came over to thank us for what we were trying to do, in particular me for setting it up. The event again received a lot of coverage and publicity in the local press, with a feature on me personally, including details of my journey to become Joanna and how it all started. It seemed that I was beginning to be accepted and was glad that I had decided to stay.

Over the following months we became involved with more community projects, but rather than acting solely as charitable donors, we began to operate more as facilitators, helping to organise groups to organise themselves doing their own projects. This meant that we were spending very little of our funds, which were actually growing due to some shrewd investments recommended by a friendly financial advisor, one of Jerry’s contacts at the Rotary Club.

On one of the now regular visits from my cousins, Sara mentioned that she had been looking with her fiancé Jason into buying their first home together, but were having trouble raising the deposit that the mortgage company required. As my personal finances were also growing comfortably, again due to recommended investments, I offered to loan them what they needed to make up the shortfall, interest-free, repayable as and when they were in a position to do so. She was delighted and extremely grateful, as were Abby and Michael after I said that the same would apply to them, when they were in a similar position. I later received a call from Aunt Margaret to go round for a meal with the rest of the close family, thanking me for helping out my cousins. It seemed that I was once again considered to be part of the family.

I had been regularly meeting up with Jerry and Naomi, who were beginning to treat me as the daughter that they never had, confiding in me and introducing me to their wider family. Between them and my Aunt’s family I was feeling that this was where I belonged and where my roots would be.

Following our support for community projects I began to get approaches from some small local businesses for advice on helping them grow, and we set up a commercial business, Westheath Growth Consultants, WGC, to offer proposals to improve their image, marketing, and compliance with employment legislation. Samantha was now working part-time for Hyde&Griffiths and part time for WGC undergoing training and gaining experience so that soon she would be qualified to undertake consultancy herself rather than as an assistant to me. Rose was working flexitime, around Max’s school hours, sometimes in our office, sometimes from home, acting as office manager and administrator. Carol and Kathy soon joined us as general office staff. The company continued to grow and soon we were working outside the town , well into the neighbouring counties, gaining an extensive customer base and an excellent reputation for our business plans and the friendly pleasant manner in which we presented them.

One evening, after dinner with Jerry and Naomi, he took me aside ‘for a chat’.

“Jo, you may not know it, but at Rotary we often have after-dinner speakers, local personalities from business, sport, community service, or anyone else of interest. Would you be prepared to come and do the honours at the next meeting in a month’s time?”

“What will I talk about, I’ve never done anything of great interest and why would a group of elderly businessmen want to listen to a talk from me?”

“You’re wrong on two points. One, although it is still predominately an organisation for businessmen, women have been allowed membership for some time, since 1989 to be exact. Our local club is a bit traditional and slow to change but we already have three women members, all of whom you already know, so it’s not just a group of dry fuddy-duddy old men. Secondly You have grown Marshall Community Trust to become a well respected benefactor to the town, and are making a success of WGC, all of that despite the prejudice and distrust you faced when you first came back to Westfield. You might want to include that, you may wish to pass over it. Have a think about it, there is no speaker’s fee, but you will get an excellent free meal and wine, please consider it and let me know.”

“One thing that I have learned in business Jerry is that you have to be decisive, of course I’ll do it if you think I am up to it.”

A month later I was getting myself ready to go to give my talk to the Rotary Club.I had been in touch with Theresa, one of the members who I had previously met a few times, to find out what the dress code was. She had advised me that the men would all be in business suits, the only personal statements being the colour of their ties, however although she and the other two female members often matched the men in formal suits they occasionally wore dresses or skirts and blouses. Following her advice, I selected a Royal Blue above-the-knee dress with white trim as I wanted to emphasise my femininity, accessorised it with matching diamond stud earrings and dress ring, hoping that I wouldn’t be making too much of a statement. I had just finished the final touches to my makeup when Jerry arrived in a taxi to take us to the hotel where the meeting was to be held.

Nervously I was introduced to some of the members, many of whose names were instantly forgotten, although there were some that I had previously met in the course of my business dealings.

After a quite enjoyable meal with pleasant chat from the Chairman on my right and Amanda, as the programme secretary, on my left it was soon time for me to earn my place at the table. Jerry, as my sponsor, gave an introduction praising the way I had set up the charity and the business despite some personal difficulties, which were glossed over.

I tried to keep my talk light, with a few anecdotes about the people in the club that I already knew. After-dinner audiences, fuelled by alcohol, did not normally take to serious discussions and I was rewarded with lots of questions in relation to my business operations. However the subject I was dreading eventually came up.

“Jeremy alluded to personal difficulties that you had to overcome, would you like to tell us more?”, someone called from the back of the room. I had two choices, either ignore it and pass on to another question, or face up to it and be honest.

“To be honest I was hoping to avoid this, but as you have raised the question, I’ll be open with you. As many, if not all, of you know I am transgender, I grew up in Westheath as a boy, James, who some of you may remember from Greenhill school. I never fitted in, I was shy and withdrawn and would never have been able to stand in front of you all tonight. In my time at university I came to realise that most of my problems stemmed from latent gender dysphoria and began living as a girl eventually progressing through transition to be the person you see and have heard tonight. When I returned to deal with the aftermath of the murder of my parents, I was met with suspicion and even hostility, being ignored or deliberately snubbed by most of those attending the funeral and was determined to leave as soon as possible, never to return. However, good friends including Jerry here made me welcome and accepted me, and thanks to my work with the trust and WGC I am now recognised as a valued member of the local community. I could easily have just walked away, with a feeling of rejection, but decided that I had a useful role to play here. I hope you’ll agree. Thank you very much for listening Ladies and Gentlemen, I hope that you enjoyed my talk.”

As I took my seat, Amanda rose to give an effusive vote of thanks, mentioning that she hoped that she, Mary and Elizabeth, the other lady members, would be able to welcome me again to try to balance the numbers more evenly, which was followed by a long applause with even some of the gentlemen standing, leading the clapping. Later Jerry took me aside to have a chat with the Chairman, Tony Marshall.

“Thank you so much Joanna, your talk went down really well tonight, the show of appreciation was a lot more enthusiastic than we often get, sometimes it is only a polite ripple. “I apologise for the question about your personal issues, I was about to shut it down, but you beat me to it by deciding to answer. Anyway, I’ve been asking around, particularly amongst the Ladies and the longer-serving members to see if anyone had any reservations, and would like you to consider becoming a member, you might just be the breath of fresh air that we need.”

“Thank you very much, Mr Chairman, it is an interesting suggestion, but I would like to talk it through with Jerry before making a decision.”

In the taxi on the way home I had a few questions of Jerry as to what the commitments would be if I decided to join, all of which seemed acceptable.

“Jerry, be honest with me, was Chairman Tony just being polite when he asked me to join or was it a genuine offer. I realise that not everyone will feel comfortable with a trans woman as a dinner colleague and the last thing I would want to do is cause any conflict within the club, particularly amongst the older more traditional members?”

“I’ve told you before Joanna, you must learn not to worry so much about what other people think of you, just be yourself. Besides, everyone I spoke to would be more than happy for you to join, especially Amanda and the other Lady members. The words ‘charming’, ‘breath of fresh air’, ‘a great potential asset to the club’ ‘I hope she comes again’, ‘I would like to get to know her better’ were repeated several times, you will genuinely be made very welcome.”

“Thanks for that Jerry, before I make a final decision and the club formally accept an application from me, please arrange for me to attend a couple of meetings as a potential member so that people can get to know me better and so that I can see the reaction I will be getting.”

Over the following months I became an active member of Rotary having been made most welcome by everyone, becoming close friends with Amanda, Mary and Elizabeth. I became particularly close to Jerry and Naomi, often visiting them, accompanying them to social and family events, effectively becoming the daughter that they never had.

Meanwhile, the consultancy business was growing from strength to strength, taking on four freelance consultants to the staff and building up a solid base of companies requesting bi-annual audits to ensure that they were on the right track. Even with Sam taking on a lot of my workload at WGC now that she was fully trained up, I was finding it difficult to find time to work for the consultancy and continue as CFO of Northwood Building Group, and chose to resign. Graham Northwood was disappointed as I had settled well into my new role and offered to keep me on as a non-executive director until my senior finance officer, Martin, was ready to take over as CFO.

One day, I was surprised to receive a call from the police. Someone had been arrested for a minor affray offence and their DNA proved a match for traces found in the house when it was burgled and my parents murdered. That led to a further arrest of a known associate and the discovery of several items of my mothers jewellery, but despite the evidence they pled ‘not guilty’. I had to sit through the harrowing lengthy trial alongside my Aunt Margaret and my cousins listening to all the gory medical details of the assaults on Mum and Dad which was extremely distressing. We were relieved when the jury found the defendants, who had shown no remorse, guilty and the judge imposed long prison sentences, it could not bring back Mum and Dad, but at least I now had closure.

In time, rather than the snubs and rejections I had received when I returned for the funeral, I became an admired and respected member of the community, a successful businesswoman, chairman of the local Rotary club and Leader of the town council, I was forever grateful of the chance encounter with Samantha that had encouraged me to stay to face my demons and turn my life around.

The end.