CHAPTER 35
It was a twisty road getting to meet the real Alys, for while she had known herself as long as she had been self-aware, the rest of us had to dismantle almost everything we had known or assumed we knew about her, and her fear of rejection kept its teeth in her for so very long a time. It was hard work indeed, but that metaphor of bends on a road became my mantra.

Roads without bends are mind-numbingly boring. Caroline and I had tried out some of the early helmet-to-helmet intercoms for a while, until becoming too irritated by the cable connecting us and returning to our old ways of coping with the long motorway miles by solitary mind games, singing loudly in the tiny auditorium of our helmets, or just giving the occasional pat or squeeze of affection. Twisty roads were different, for they can be what biking is all about. I did my best to keep my discovery of Alys in the ‘twisty open road’ rather than ‘tight blind bends on a shit surface’ category, mostly by a shedload of reading as well as frequent chats with both Steph and Neil.

They were so different in their approach. While Steph was absolutely and pragmatically firm on her refusal to ‘come out’ to Alys, she was completely open with her advice, based on what was clearly a pretty unpleasant childhood. Neil, on the other hand, was far more reticent, although he would drop a pearl every now and again. I gathered that he was spending a lot of his time in the bunkhouse, and wondered my way through a load of cod psych analysis about atoning for ‘Maddy’ before recognising what utter crap I was thinking.

Recognise a decent bloke, one who cares, for the simple reason of caring, for fuck’s sake, Rhodes.

Alys filled out in my perception of her with each visit. She wasn’t getting fatter or taller, just more rounded in her reality, and I found myself asking that internal question, so many times: how could we have been so blind, all of us? That soft murmur from the guest bedroom had finally sharpened my perception of Steph, but Alys was different in that she was more like one of those hidden pictures: once you saw the detail, you realised that you had simply not understood the image you had actually been seeing from the start.

I had known Alys since birth, just never seen her. I saw her then, finally.

The problem, of course, was that the picture wasn’t a still, for Alys needed a future, and that wouldn’t be served by staying indoors. I think it was about a month after our first meeting when I caught the shrapnel of her emergence.

I was having dinner at the Hiatts, a proper roast, naturally of lamb, the two girls (see?) conspiring in giggles over something that mattered to them, when I caught one of them saying the name of the village supermarket, almost buried in the stream of ‘Gog’ Welsh they both spoke.

“Vic, Nansi?”

Vic answered.

“Aye?”

“Pardon me if I’m being a bit, you know, intrusive…”

Nansi put a hand to Vic’s arm.

“Mike, not meaning to inflate your head, ah, but we can both see why these two kept you as a friend. If you’re asking a question, you’ll have a reason for it. Ask away”

I looked once more at the two children conspiring together, and brought a smile back for Nansi.

“Can’t understand their prattle, love, but I did catch the shop name, local supermarket?
I am guessing that keeping Alys indoors wouldn’t be healthy, so just wondering, you know, and guessing… Look, I know we went up to the falls, but that’s a sort of swamped by tourists place. Getting to the point, have you had much, well, reaction from neighbours?”

She looked hard at Vic, then back at me.

“Straight to the heart of things, you are. Yes. She has to go out, and I can see she’s listening to us now, not so, cariad? People are seeing her, and, well, that is something we need before she goes to the big school. No rubbish about surprising them, ah? And we have had a couple of comments that we would prefer had not been made”

She paused to take a sip of wine, grimacing slightly before smiling.

“We have a secret weapon, of course, who is sitting listening as hard as she can, yes you, Enfys. Mike, some people have been less than charitable, but they have held back from full-on attack, in my opinion, because it would be an attack on two children, and that seems to be a step too far for most”

Her last word left more questions, of course, but I was sure they would be answered as and when we got a moment away from the kids. That came later, after they had been settled together into Enfys’ room, in sleeping bags under a bedsheet ‘tent’. The rest of us settled into the sofa and armchairs as I awaited whatever extras Vic and Nansi might have for me. Nansi opened the batting.

“It’s not been to bad, Mike. Just one small group of nasties, and to be honest, most of them are just following the leader. Watkins family, not really from the village. Got a place between here and the town, Bangor, ah?”

I automatically glanced towards the stairs before asking.

“How bad is it?”

“Ah, just her, really, the mother. Her friends don’t seem that bothered unless she’s stirring then up”

She took her own little glance towards the stairs.

“Actually, I suspect her little boy is one of those who’ve been giving Alys grief at her school. He’s a spoiled little brat, na, Vic?”

She made a short comment in her own language, as that man nodded, then turned back to me.

“People are adjusting, Mike, and it does help that we are local proper, not just by address, and that lot are from over Clwyd. Tenants on the farm, ah? Alys is village business, and she’s a village girl, so ranks close. When Donna Watkins is about, well, we get stuff like ‘Pretty dress, love’ from the real locals. Lets the Watkins lot know their place, it does”

Nansi suddenly laughed, with real delight in her eyes.

“Thing is, after they’ve spent their time being nice to our girl to spite Donna, they forget to be nasty when she’s gone. I can, we can live with that!”

Vic was nodding.

“Aye, Mike. Reminds us of ourselves, as well. Early days, and a big adjustment. Takes time, it does”

I couldn’t argue with that one, but as I was seeing the changes in a version of time lapse photography, while their experience was in real time, I could only guess at the difference.

That was my life, then, for the time it took Alys to reach the September after her eleventh birthday, and every so often, when I could, I timed my weekend visits so that we could do our best, with the frequent reinforcement of the Woodruffs, to swamp the folk club, where, to be honest, nobody seemed to care how she dressed. It was the same when Betty and her family visited for their own weekend breaks, and while they had clearly benefitted from my heads-up, they simply took a little girl exactly as she was.

As we emerged from Winter, though, there were changes ahead, and Bets was their herald.

“Got enough sun block, Mike?”

“Eh?”

“So eloquent. That’s what happens when you spend all your free time among people speaking foreign languages”

“Er, don’t think it really counts as foreign, woman”

“Well, it’s not English, so there. Got that sun block, then?”

I suddenly clicked.

“Would you by any chance be on about reversed seasons, Betty?”

She nodded, grinning.

“Kul’s been dropping hints, or info, or threats, whatever. Boss is looking to send the next volunteer in a couple of months. I told you what I thought, ages ago, best for the kids and that, so it’s you in the frame, Mister Rhodes”

“Shit! What the hell do I do with the house?”

“How do I know?”

She let that one hang for a few seconds, before producing another grin.

“That’ll be why the MD is offering a three month slot to get your feet under the table and see if they fit. Me and my HWMBO can keep an eye. You might decide it’s not for you, and got a place to come back to, then. If not, we can research shipping arrangements. Kul can put you up for three months, he says, just a pity about the beer down there”

I found myself roaring with laughter.

“You’ve already decided, haven’t you?”

“Yup. But then so have---so had you. Mike, this is a chance at a new start, and, well… you won’t be betraying your wife if you go. I believe it’s what she would have wanted”

I prickled slightly at that, but I understood exactly how she meant it. Two months later, after a rather excessive leaving do at Shaun’s place, I was heading for Gatwick. I made one stop, at Luton, where I spent three hours with Caro, sitting on my overly heavy suitcase.

“Not sure if I should be doing this, my love, but everyone else… I will be back. In three months; might decide it’s not for me. Might not work at all. Written a note for the clubs, and left them with the new flowers. Just know that I will never, ever stop loving you”

In the end, I had to go, grabbing a local taxi back to the station. And then the Thameslink directly to Gatwick, where Geoff was waiting for me with his van. A quiet evening at the family home, a decent breakfast helped along with the black pudding I had carried down from Sheffield, and then a sombre farewell in the North Terminal. Steph’s hug was fierce, Geoff’s only slightly less so.

“We’ll look after Alys, Mike”

“Yeah, well, Neil’s also promised. Got a present for you: my spare door keys. Betty’s looking after the place for the next three months, and all the beds have been stripped, but if you fancy crashing there, if you’re doing anything in the Peak, she knows”

I gave them my brightest grin.

“Kul’s out there, so it’s not as if I’m leaving all my friends, is it?”

Just my wife.