CHAPTER 70
Murdo had been incredibly generous, but he remained a very sharp businessman, and springing for accommodation as well as the venue would have cost rather a lot, so we were booked on a late afternoon boat back. Rod had arranged a small coach, and Phil a few taxis for those we couldn’t fit in. Tradition had to be observed, and so we bounced back over the water before trundling up to King’s Park, where Kul did his video thing and Neil the snaps.

Neil even consented when asked to take colour shots, and I noticed a little more of his ASC behaviour in the way he set up each shot, backing up the film camera (a Pentax) with a seriously expensive-looking Canon digital beast. I couldn’t argue with his logic, as this was most definitely a one-off occasion, and I was fully with the Oysterband in my thoughts: ‘This is the last time I get married’.

I thought of the verse in that song which damns the best man, looked at Kul, and started to chuckle.

“Amused, husband? Share! You have to now; it’s the law!”

Neil was close by, so I smiled and sang “Oh, the best man is the worst man, the best man is a beast”

Dal broke in with the next line, and we sang the rest in three part disharmony:

“He’s underneath the table with the sister of the priest
The way he’s going at it, she’s probably deceased
Thank god this is the last time I get married”

Maz tried not to smirk, forcing a scowl instead.

“Not exactly a traditional wedding song, that”

I shook my head,

“It’s folk, so it’s absolutely trad as!”

She stared at me, fighting to keep her scowl in place.

“You going all Aussie on me, Rhodes? That’s Kul’s job”

“Well, now I have the citizenship, RHODES, I’m allowed”

I noticed Neil give me a sharp look at that one, realising that he was probably feeling a little out of place in that he would be sharing our ‘honeymoon cottage’ that evening, but never mind that, ey?

The Butts had far more room than me, so we were having the second half of our ‘reception’ there, with a taxi booked for three of us much later. Dal had disappeared into his room for a few minutes to upload his raw footage for later mixing, editing, splicing, whatever, and I realised I was starting to get just a little tipsy. I am pretty sure the reason for that was relief. We had got through the day without any awkwardness, there had been no fights, nobody had fallen off a boat, been left on Rotto or been eaten by quokkas, and a lot more shadows had been lifted from my soul. In my mind, I raised a glass to Carolyn and Alan, before thinking again and adding Maddy to the toast. I had been incredibly lucky, twice. I just prayed that I could pass on that luck to my wife and child, when they finally arrived.

Definitely tipsy, tipsy and maudlin. That was when the doorbell rang. Dal answered it, returning with Phil, Val, Lachlan and Tran. That Perth village mentality was in full swing once again, the two boys towing one of those little four-wheel trailer devices so many of the Aussies take down to the beach. Dal called across to the makeshift bar.

“Dad? Can Phil ask a favour?”

Kul bustled over, grinning so widely I realised that he was also rather a bit refreshed.

“Yes yes cobbers and Sheila?”

One of the boys snorted, and Phil laughed out loud, sending his two sons back out with a set of car keys.

“I see we have some catching up to do, mate! Good job we brought supplies”

He indicates the little cart thing, and I saw it was full of plastic containers.

“Finger food, from the Missus. Boys have gone for the other load, which is bottles. Now, you’ve got one of Rod’s specials out the front, and there’s enough room next to it for another. Just need your say-so before I start making myself unfit to drive home”

Maz, who was of course right next to me, giggled.

“Not exactly a gatecrash, cause I told Rod to say you’d be welcome. But if it were, it’s by far the nicest I have ever seen!”

Phil roared.

“Can I kiss the bloody bride now, then?”

“Of course!”

The evening flowed, as so many of our ‘second tier’ guests were musical, until it was time for a taxi ride for three of us. Phil had cancelled our booking.

“Sorry?”

“Yeah. Cancelled it, mate. Not tying yourself to the clock this evening. Let me know when you’re ready to shoot, and I’ll get a priority one out. My bloody company, ey?”

Yet again, all I could think was: why would anyone want to live anywhere else?

As the evening was heading towards midnight, and Dal had finally stopped stalking people with his still camera, I found myself deep in one of those very earnest, rather drunk conversations with Bets on that subject, where to live, and she just shook her head.

“We have had all the propaganda, Mister Married Man, and me and my lot are manfully, womanfully and childfully resisting it. We’ll let you know after we’ve gone driveabout. Do Aussies say driveabout?”

“No idea, Bets”

“Have to ask… Shit. Why do I need to ask Shaun when I’m surrounded by Aussies already?”

She hugged me tightly, then whispered, “I can see why you love her, Mike. You two are made for each other. What are you hoping for, boy or girl?”

“I don’t care, nor does Maz. Happy and healthy, that’s all”

“You will make a fantastic dad, my love. Time for me and Doug to get our two to bed. Get used to that van”

One last hug, and she was off to gather her family, just as Maz approached, Neil in tow.

“I think we need to get this one horizontal, husband. Alcohol and jet lag, oh my!”

Neil looked at her sharply just then, a little twist to his mouth, but I let that oddity slide, waving a hand to let Phil know were ready as soon as Neil had secured all of his cameras and found his jacket, which he had thought lost on the boat but turned out to have been secured by Ronnie, who had apparently decided to wear it until he noticed.

Phil put the call in, sounding as if he had been doing his best to empty his own trailer load of booze, and with a final shout from him about not tying anything ‘Bloody stupid!” to the rear bumper, we were off, and Neil was once again asleep almost as soon as the driver let out the clutch. Maz and I followed suit, but in a different bedroom, after helping him to get settled.

Our breakfast was rather a late one, and was definitely lighter on the lard than was usual for us. I tried prodding Neil about his plans, and he steered the conversation onto the bike.

“Rod’s got some hard cases he says he can let me have. What’s your plans, you two?”

I smiled at my brand new wife, taking her hand.

“I just happen to have a hotel booked, and flight tickets… Neil, bit of a tradition for Aussies to go to Bali. We’ve not long put money into this place, so we’re keeping things quieter. Shorter flight as well”

Maz was looking at me so intently I almost felt I needed sunscreen. I smiled as sweetly as I could manage.

“Place called Esperance, love. Got a hire car booked as well, so we can explore”

Her mouth was hanging open, but she was smiling.

“Mike, you genius! Cape Barren geese, little penguin, loads more! They do wildlife cruises there, with rock parrots and---”

My turn with the silencing hand.

“So my idea works for you?”

“Why would any of your ideas not work for me?”

I couldn’t answer that one, of course, so she turned to Neil.

“And that question I asked before I forgot it, Neil: what are you doing with our bike? And Rod’s hard cases?”

“Oh, I want to get some gum pictures. A lot of them shed their bark in really interesting ways. And I am told there are caves here”

I shook my head, my interest piqued as my cheekiness peaked.

“Tell me you haven’t brought your wetsuit, mate. I know you joked about it after I picked you up, but seriously?”

He shook his head.

“No, but I brought my overalls, ones I use when it’s not flooded. That, well, I was hoping to borrow a harness from you. Got an SRT rope and some kit with me”

He was starting to turn a little pink, so I backed off a bit.

“And your plans?”

“Well, first I need to find a hotel or something for when you two---”

Maz cut him short, just saying his name, and once again there was that twitch to his face. She seemed to miss it, though. She tried again.

“Neil, we have a day before we leave. We will be going to a local shop that cuts keys, and they will be yours, as this place will be while we’re gone. Now, what has Rod said about paperwork”

“You haven’t asked Mike…”

“I don’t need to. You’ve just gone and jumped on a plane and flown halfway round the world just to be at our wedding. We both appreciate that, so how could we ever lock you out? The paperwork?”

“Not a problem, he says, but not for a couple of days, and you two… You mean it, don’t you?”

I smiled at each of them in turn.

“Maz is, of course, absolutely right. Now, less argument, and more revelations regarding your great plan. We’ll be back before you leave, so we shall expect some stunning pictures, and before you say there’s no dark room here, we both know you have a digital camera”

He had no argument at all, to be honest, so Maz got the keys cut while I ran him over to pick up the documents from Rod before showing Neil where everything was in the house. Rod himself had a lid that fitted Neil, I had a spare jacket and gloves, and we obviously had camping gear.

Our taxi came, courtesy of Phil yet again, with a reduced fare, our plane took off on time, and the views were expansive. Once the seatbelt sign went off, Maz turned to me and whispered, “He’s just like us, isn’t he?”