CHAPTER 61
Things did settle down after that fortnight’s busyness, for the simple reason that even the best management magicians can’t come up with a new and revolutionary idea every day. We almost gave up on the sausages idea, for example, because there was no feasible way to fly out a sample pack to the east coast, and by definition anyone renting a van in Perth was likely to be heading over that way, so wouldn’t exactly be in the area for a repeat purchase.

Instead, Chad had a word with Rhona, who was definitely SWMBO in that business, and breakfast packs for their camping sessions started being ordered from a former miner. And Maz bought a helmet.

That is such a short sentence for a very big thing, an act that left me with a return of the horrors for quite some time, until she simply booked a campsite near our little holiday retreat in Cowaramup. Dal seemed to have moved on from his crush, and was happily making jokes about Maryam’s choice in tents.

“Why all the net, Maz?”

She looked slightly embarrassed as she answered.

“No windows in a tent, Dal. I can’t see what’s out there”

“What would be there? You know drop bears aren’t real”

“I don’t know. I just don’t like not being able to see out”

Geeta murmured something about everyone seeing in, and I swear I could have made toast on my lover’s cheeks. There was more to her worries than fictional carnivores, so I did my best to change the subject, and switched to planning our week’s social activities, which were starting to get rather numerous as we made regular trips to the folk club, Vern’s climbing place and Statham’s Quarry. I doubted I would ever get comfortable with the ‘Aussie Bolt’ idea, but Dal seemed happy as his leading moved up a few grades.

Something that made me particularly happy with him and his father was their treatment of the outdoors as a gestalt, a whole. Too many gym-based climbers emerge from their indoor venues to treat real crags as just another climbing wall, never raising their eyes to the hills and other delights around them. That had never been a problem with Penny and Keith, or myself and Caro, because we simply adjusted to the weather. Going to be bright and sunny? A weekend of shorter, harder routes in the Peak. Not sure, or likely to be wet? North Wales, for long routes on the hills in gaiters and waterproofs. And, of course, Caro would be enjoying whatever wildlife was around us, just like Maz.

No, the Butts were definitely my sort of people when outdoors. They saw the whole of it, which was the entire point of going there? One of the climbing club in the L place had been a keen downhill skier, and he told stories of ski groups missing everything from interesting birds to groups of red squirrels, because their entire focus was on their fun and the booze that went with it. Empty souls, empty lives.

I spent the days before our planned weekend away hunting, in the engineering sense, trying to find one slot to settle into, but in the end I simply loaded the rack and a couple of hard cases borrowed from our Van Man, and we were off to Gracetown on the Beemer. Maz took a little while to settle down on the pillion, clinging tightly to my waist, but as we cruised down the main road she began to relax, sitting more upright and simply leaving her hands on my hips rather than limpeting herself to my back. We weren’t exactly in the countryside for ages, as what felt like ribbon developments followed the suburbs of Perth.

Eventually the buildings thinned out, and as we waited at a junction for a turning off the main highway for a quieter road, I called to her over my shoulder.

“Done it yet?”

“Done what?”

“I could say ‘Dunsborough’, but I meant have you spotted it?”

“Spotted the harrier?”

“Oh, you so and so!”

It made me smile, and I couldn’t see her, but I could feel her laughing, so that was a positive. I was still watching the traffic obsessively, which was one reason I was heading to a quitter road, but we were still in one piece thus far, and I started to relax a little, until we approached Dunsborough, which was heaving.

I skirted the town and rode up to the higher ground on Caves Road, before pulling over to ask her a question. The answer was the one I had expected, so I turned off once more to make my way to that sea stack for her rare bird fix., before we were once again heading along Caves Road for the camp site, which was well outside the town or village of Gracetown. They had our booking ready, and a chirpy site warden showed us around the place.

“Camp kitchen here, mate. Gas barbie. All the plates and that belong to some of our regulars, but they won’t mind as long as you wash them up properly. Your pitch is over here…”

There were an awful lot of people about, and I could see portable barbecues being set up, so I followed the rest of what seemed like half of Perth and bought a pack of meat from the warden. I had beers in a cool bag with a couple of freezer blocks, so we were sorted for that evening. I looked at the crowds, smiling at Maz.

“Not like that place we walked to, Ms MBR. Still want to pitch the inner tent only?”

I got the duck of the head that told me she was blushing, followed by a shake.

“Not this time. No dogs around, as well, so it will be a bit safer”

A story for another time, I realised, but it might explain one of her fears. She looked back up with a smile.

“When I booked, they stressed ‘no pets’, because it’s a nature reserve. Round the Sugarloaf is full of quendas”

“Full of what?”

“Quendas. Type of bandicoot. Like a giant shrew”

“How giant is giant?”

“Oh, without including the tail, about half a metre long”

I started laughing, and waved her worries back down.

“Is there anything you don’t know about Aussie wildlife?”

She grinned, in a much better mood after the dog hints.

“I can only do my best to extend the boundaries of my knowledge! We going swimming soon?”

I nodded.

“Tent up first, meat in one of the fridges. Offski?”

“Offski!”

The Doctor was blowing, and the little beach was busy with surfers and general weekender swimmers, but we found somewhere to dump our towels, as I slipped the lock through both helmets and the back wheel. Maz surprised me by producing a waterproof bag on a lanyard.

“It’s for cameras, Mike, but I thought it would do for keys and stuff”

As brilliant as ever. We got wet, then dry, the keys stayed safe, and the local multipurpose village store had some salads and other stuff to ass a few more food groups to our fleshy feast. I added a couple of bottles of local dry white and a couple of ice lollies, and we simply sat next to the bike as the sun moved towards the horizon, at peace with the world.

Dinner that evening was a challenge, but we managed to find enough space at the gas range
Some of the other campers had incredible feasts, and I watched in awe as one oriental woman, with an older husband and two kids, produced so many dishes they called out to the rest of us to come and eat some of it before it spoiled.

Beer was drunk, then wine, and we ended up chatting with the family, possibly because of our similar pairings.

“Phil and Val, mate, and Tran and Lachlan over there with the other kids”

“Ah, Mike and Maryam”

“We’re from Mundaring. Where are you from?”

Maz laughed at that.

“Funnily enough, we were up your way a little while ago, doing a stage of the Bibbulmun, or rather a walk to a campsite there. Anyway, he’s from England, and I’m from Malaysia”

“Oh, right. Val’s from Vietnam, but that’s ages ago. How do you know Rod?”

“Sorry?”

“Canning Vans, ey? That’s either his Beemer, or I’m losing it”

I took over, explaining in a general way what we did for the Van Man, and Phil nodded.

“Heard about some of that, from him. I like to do some offroading, but him and that bloody big bastard, well, not my sort of bike for the rough stuff. Did he tell you about…?”

Phil was off on an anecdote about one of Rod’s now infamous frankenbikes, and as I listened, with the occasional appropriate grunt or other response, I understood how close he was skirting being a bore. Collar strangers, talk at them non-stop, watch their eyes glaze over. This was different, though, and I realised in the end that he was simply so full of life that he needed to share it as a gift to the world. I understood him a little better when he declared he ran a taxi firm.

Gifts, but to captive audiences.

“Yeah, we come down here a few times a year. Big one’s at Chrimbo. If you think Val’s pushed the boat out this weekend, you need to see what she does for that one. Don’t always get lucky with the company, though. Had a few times where people just come over, fill a couple of plates, and then just bloody well bugger off. Call that rude, we do”

Tran held up a hand.

“Tell them about the two ladies, Dad!”

“What? Oh yeah! That was exactly what we like. Was two women, one of them a Pom, the other a Canuck. Pom girl was on a pushie, riding over to the East she said”

He paused to take a swig of beer, then shook his head.

“While later I had a job down to the airport, ey? Pick up? Grabbed a cuppa from inside, checked the arrivals board, and she’s walking past me heading for check-in, her bike in a big cardboard box. Looked very different”

He turned to Val, taking her hand, and she smiled up at him.

“You told me about it, love”

“Yeah, but not these two. Mike, Maz, she looked half-starved. Must have lost about a third of her body weight, and burned to buggery by the sun. Wished Val was there, eskie full of food, whatever. Feed her back up. What a way to travel, ey?”

I shrugged.

“Well, you’ve got a café near Rod’s called the PBP”

I gave them all a potted description of what Geoff called ‘The French Ride’, and watched their eyes widen.

“Well, I never knew that, mate! Sounds insane. I’ll stick to engines, ey?”

I could argue with that, of course, but simply smiled. Val wanted to know more, of course.

“Is tomorrow a beach day for you, or the wineries>”

I slipped an arm over my woman’s shoulders, as kangaroos moved among the tents.

“Nope. We’re going up the coast a little way to some cliffs we know. We’re climbers”

Lachlan sat up at that.

“With all the ropes and clip things?”

Maz answered “Yes, exactly”, and his eyes lit up, but there was no way I was taking someone else’s child out, especially as I had no spare kit. My lover made the obvious suggestion of Vern’s indoor place, and I caught Lachlan tapping rapidly at his mobile phone.

Just as Maz and Val were heading into a recipe sharing session, the boy called out for everyone to look, and I just knew what I was going to see,

‘Rock Star’, for god’s sake.

I still submitted my immigration application about two hours after we got home. It took an hours for Maz to confirm that I was planning to stay, and what happened in the other ninety minutes was entirely between us, and private.