CHAPTER 33
I spent another couple of days in Bethesda, kipping in the bunkhouse, which wasn’t a problem, especially when Keith made sure I got the ‘private’ room, which would give some respite from the usual night music of the nasally impaired. Evening meals were taken in both houses as a sort of extended family, and each time we ate, Alys was in what was clearly ‘her’ dress. The morning after that first appearance dressed that way, Keith collared me after breakfast.

“Got another regular due this afternoon. Don’t know if Alys would be up to coming out, and he’s likely to want to say hello to both kids. Would you be able to be a bit devious? Just in case?”

“In what way, mate?”

“Think of somewhere away from here you fancy going? With company?”

“This regular. They a climber?”

“Sort of utilitarian one. One of Vic’s colleagues, in a way: photographer. Arty sod, all monochrome and drama, and they are a nutter”

“In what way?”

“Um, confined spaces and oxygen tanks, in the dark”

“Not a bloody cave diver?”

“Er, yeah”

“No. Just no. Not doing that”

“Not asking you to. There’s a difference between asking a mate for a favour and stitching him up. No, just think of a walk that’ll take him away from here, so we can work out what to do with him about Alys”

“Right… Film Set? Then Pete’s Eats if you need more time?”

Keith nodded.

“Well, you won’t need the car, anyway”

“He drive?”

“Had an R80 last time he was here”

“That must be an absolute sod to ride round here”

“Neil’s a big lad. Seems to cope, anyway. He’s due about five, or at least that’s when we normally see him. You okay with that? And I’ll buy you a pint tonight”

I got his point, realising that the Edwards wouldn’t be out that evening, so I nodded my agreement, and set off for Clogwyn y Tarw for some soloing of the more sensible kind, protected by a top rope and a Shunt. No more Tennis Shoe-style silliness with a little girl depending on me.

It was a good day in the end, as there were only a couple of rain showers, and I spent them huddled behind the Monolith, stuffing my face with the sandwiches and pastries I had picked up on the way there. I soloed Slab Climb, then fixed the doubled rope so that I could try some harder stuff without the risk of cratering. Yob Route at HVS went well, as did Llyn at VS, but when I gave Insidious Slit a go, I just kept falling off at the peg.

Well, it is E4 and 6a, and there were damp patches, so that was my excuse. I did manage Diadem and Sweet Sorrow, both HVS, but fell off the crux on the latter twice, the second time leaving me roaring with laughter, followed by a much quieter mood as I realised how much of the blackness Alys had pushed into my past. I was comfortably reflective as I set the bike on its stand at the bunkhouse, next to the expected fat old BMW 800 twin. As I dumped my throwovers in my ‘private room’, a solid-looking man waved at me.

“You Mike? Tea’s in the pot”

“Neil? On that porker out the front?”

He took my snipe at his bike with a grin and a shrug.

“I have made one change to the bike, at least”

“Oh?”

“Sorted the side stand out. Bloody stupid way to drop a bike, that”

I should explain that a BMW R80 is a flat twin 800 cc bike, where a cylinder pokes out horizontally each side, and the things are as cliché German as possible, but for some reason said Germans had decided on a secret way of wrecking bikes, perhaps in order to generate more income in repairs. Pull up on a bike, flip the side stand down, lean it over and dismount. Not quite in the right place? Tip the bike up and walk it forward, side stand still down.

BMW spring-loaded the bloody thing, so parking was a matter of dismounting while holding the bike upright, THEN hooking the stand down while still holding the bike upright, obviously while standing on one leg. Bloody stupid idea. The logic was to stop one riding off with the stand down. Kawasaki had addressed that by interlinking the stand to the ignition (stand down, no spark), while Honda had simply stuck a finger of bendy rubber to the stand’s end, so it would be flicked up at the first left-hander.

“You got rid of the spring?”

“Adapted a Honda stand. Couldn’t be bothered faffing around like Kwak, and this does the job”

I grinned at him, liking his style.

“You sound remarkably sane for a cave diver”

“Oh bugger off. Hiatt been setting me up?”

“I cannot tell a lie yes. Mike Rhodes”

I offered him my hand, and he shook it with a firm grip.

“Neil Strachan. Keithy boy says we’re at the pub tonight, and you have somewhere for tomorrow?”

“Yup. Film Set Quarry, quite surreal. Made Clash of the Titans there. Also where some of the first slate routes were put up. Keith said you were into black and white snaps, and I can do some top rope stuff”

“I need to hold the rope?”

“Nope. Got a shunt. Self-arrest thing clips to my harness, auto-locks if I peel”

“So your ears won’t be alight, then”

“You what?”

He began to sing a familiar song, rather badly.

“My ears are alight! My ears are alight! You won’t be a Desmond, then. A Decker”

I groaned. Thanks, Keith.

“I’m going to get a shower, then doss for a bit before the pub. You?”

He handed me a mug.

“Drink my own tea, then log some pics. This place get good light, tomorrow?”

“Enough for me to see. Not a snapper, me”

He picked up his own mug, heading for the dining table, before looking over his shoulder again.

“You know the kids? Enfys and Dafi?”

“Since birth, or maybe before, cause I’ve known the Hiatts a long time”

“They okay? Just, I’d have expected them to be here fighting over who gets to carry my gloves”

I burst out laughing at that.

“You too? Enfys was always after mine, even when they were dripping wet. Anyway, both are fine. Sure you’ll all catch up over the next few days”

He smiled, a little quirkily.

“Yeah, suppose so. It’s just, well, got used to teasing them. Catch you after your shower. Got a yen for their steak and ale and ale and ale pie tonight. I mean, I don’t want all of tonight’s ale to be in the pie; just sort of meet it afterwards”

I walked off chuckling, and understanding why he got on so well with my old friends. The next day could turn out to be more delight than duty.

The pub was simply more of the same, because Keith and Penny both rose to the challenge, the pun rate going into the red, along with even worse jokes, including a very rude one about Tarzan and a baby elephant, and the drink, along with the hint of serenity I had discovered on the rock, made my sleep as peaceful as it had ever been.

We had sunlight that morning, and after a sly comment to Neil that I would take it slowly for the sake of his two-wheeled tank’s cylinder heads, I took us over Mynydd Llandygai towards Llanberis, parking up at the end of the lane near the caravan park before locking everything up and setting out for the surreal holes in the ground that had drawn so many film makers in search of somewhere that would look other-worldly enough for their vision. Neil disappeared with no less than three cameras slung or bagged, but only after he had inspected my self-belay system.

“Mike, if I come back here and find you dangling in mid-air, I want to have something I can do other than steal all your kit”

Once again, I saw why my friends liked him. And it only rained four times, which seemed to please Neil. I asked him as we took a break for a cuppa from his flask.

“It changes the light, and the slate gets all sorts of colours when it gets wet”

“I thought you were all monochrome?”

He grinned and pointed at one side of his camera pack.

“Got the colour one in there”

“I thought digital was all the same? Full colour and that?”

“Film for me, mate. As trad as my bike”

“Oh dear. Bet you’ve got a dark room full of wet trays”

He nodded, trying to hide a cheeky grin, then started to chuckle.

“Truer than you meant it, Mike. Sums me up. Small, dark, wet places full of odd smells, my idea of heaven. Now, we all at the pub tonight?”

I shrugged, pulling out my mobile.

“Keith?”

“How’s it going, mate?”

“Got him taking colour snaps, so there’s hope. Wants to know what the plan is for tonight”

“He asked about the kids?”

I kept my answers as safe as I could.

“Indeed”

“They both want to see him”

“Okay”

“Was that a ‘yes that would be okay’ or just noise? If you think it would be safe for her, just say that you’ll pick up the booze on the way home”

“You cheeky sod!”

“Economical, me. Two birds, one stone. Seriously, Mike, we’ve got enough in. If you get a top-up, it looks normal, and it’s a safe answer to my question. do you think he’ll be safe?”

“Can I call you back, and confirm?”

“Really? Or are you going to try and pump him?”

“Yes, that. Call you back in a few”

I pushed the red button, and turned back to Neil.

“Cheeky sod wants us to buy the beer on the way back”

“No problem, surely?”

“Not really; I just wanted to make sure you’ve got room in your hardcases. Oh, and make him sweat a bit. Got more tea?”

He poured, and I dug into my thoughts for an opening. Maybe…

“Got a real shock a while ago, Neil”

“You tend to get one when you fall off, mate”

“No, seriously. I used to see someone a lot up here, then they vanished for a while. When I saw them again, they were a bit different. Bit changed”

His eyes narrowed a little, then his mouth twisted.

“Shit, Mike. What the fuck is going on?”

“What do you mean?”

“The only person I can think of who fits that description is Steph Woodruff. Am I right?”

Not so clever, Rhodes.

“Guilty”

“Well, what the fuck might your problem be with her? That she’s finally bloody happy?”

What on Earth?

“Sorry, Neil, but no problem at all. She’s a mate. Her and Geoff. They stay at mine when they climb in the Peak. Didn’t mean it the way you heard it”

He shook his head, and I realised his eyes were a little damp.

“Sorry, Mike. Old ghosts. Lost… Lost a good friend, years ago. Couldn’t cope with the shit. I…”

He looked up at the gathering clouds.

“Got room in the house now for a dark room. Leave it at that, and not a word to our friends, okay? Please? And how on Earth did we end up doing True bloody Confessions… oh fuck. Tell me it’s true, or not true, or whatever, but please tell me”

I took some long breaths, watching how his hands were clenched around his cup, the surface of the tea in concentric rings from his trembling.

“Neil, I think, if… I’m going to give you some background, for me. I was married. My wife died. It was an accident. After… after I was sober again, I found a test kit. I’ve been a wreck, since, well. Stuff going on now, well, last few days I’ve managed to find some peace at last. Taken a while. Haven’t spoken to many folk about that, but, well, here we are”

He looked down at his tea, then dumped it onto the ground.

“Cold. Me, well, pretty obvious, really. No way Maddy and me could have kids, not of our own, could we? That should be enough of a confession for both of us, and I am really sorry about your loss. Old wounds, yeah? Like with scurvy. The wounds open up again if you don’t get the right stuff. I think I’ve… Shit. Just ring Keith, give him his answer, and then we’ll go and pick up the booze. That work?”

I nodded, picking up my phone, and giving Keith his answer. I packed my rope and gear away, Neil his cameras, and we simply stood looking at each other for a few seconds before we hugged, his voice gentle in my ear.

“It gets better, mate, or at least easier”

My reply was just as soft.

“I know that now, my friend”

We managed to fit four four-packs of ale into our bike luggage, picking it up in Bethesda, and after we had changed into jeans and fleece jackets, we shouldered a rucksack each before we set off to the Edwards’ place. Just before we knocked on the door, Neil looked me hard in the face.

“Dafi or Enfys? My money’s on Dafi”

“Her…”

My breath caught for a second.

“Her name’s Alys”

“Thanks”

He knocked, Nansi answered, and I nodded in response to her raised eyebrow. She smiled.

“Come on through, boys, and let’s get the ale poured”

Into the living room, and Neil was immediately tackled by Enfys, who was prattling away as another small figure held back. Neil transferred Enfys to one side, hugging her with his right arm while stretching out his left.

“No hug for me, Alys?”