“Let’s start with a number. How are you doing today?”
 
“Good. Maybe a seven.”
 
“Why not a ten?”
 
“Well, Grace. Not everything is perfect.”
 
“Where would you like to start?”
 
Teri thought for a minute. “Well, I feel like a ten for the music. I’d forgotten how much fun it is to play live. Wednesday, we played on the roof of Allentown Music to all of downtown Allentown. It was great! We’re playing at the Rendezvous tonight and are booked for the rest of the week. And hey, that’s where Tasha got her start.”
 
“Do you miss her?”
 
“Tasha? Well, she was the perfect avatar. She always did the right thing, and everybody loved her. But there’s no more Terry or Tasha. Terry just evolved, and it was finally time to let him go, and I guess Tasha vanished into the thin air, too.”
 
“Do you miss Terry?”
 
“Well, sometimes I miss how easy it was to be Terry. No one expected much from him. I could just leave everything for someone else to care for and stumble along at whatever pace I wanted to go. But Terry really wasn’t intersex; he was just a guy whose puberty had stopped. Of course, we now know that wasn’t true either. And once the truth was out and I knew what would happen, it was easier to become Teri and enjoy the ride.”
 
“That sounds very healthy.”
 
“Yeah, and most of the time, I believe it until it’s too much. It can be overwhelming.”
 
“What happens when it overwhelms you? What do you do?”
 
“Retreat to my room, cry in the shower, or talk to my mom or Lisa. And, of course, I can turn to Jenn. I hate sounding like a broken record and always complaining, but those moments are getting further apart. I use many of the techniques you’ve taught me, too. I think I’m a lot calmer.”
 
She took a deep breath and looked at Grace. “My biggest focus is The Wildcats. The band takes up a lot of my time and keeps me happy, especially playing. I’m looking forward to the Rendezvous. I used to think that that club was enormous. We took our equipment straight over to the Rendezvous after we played. I walked around and was surprised at how small it was!”
 
“How many people does it hold?”
 
“Three hundred. It’s like playing in front of your family at Christmas time, a big living room full of love. At that club, everybody knows all the songs, sings along, and cheers loudly for every solo and song. This might be what heaven is like, intimate, friendly, and perfect.”
 
“You said that the Rendezvous was small. What are you comparing it to?”
 
“Well, our first big show was The Underground in Atlanta. It held a thousand or fifteen hundred, but the stage was huge, and the sound was amazing. It was perfect for a big place. We did a couple of long weekends there. It was funny because we made the same amount each night at the Underground as the Wildcats made in a week on the road last year.”
 
“Seems like the Wildcats are going big time.”
 
“Well, when we played at the French Town Festival in New Orleans, they estimated thirty-five thousand people or more were there. That was a free concert. That was our biggest crowd ever. But, and this is a big but, we are scheduled to play back in Atlanta next Saturday night for twenty thousand people buying tickets to see us. I think that’s insane!”
 
“You’ve come a long way since rehearsing with the Wildcats at spring break.”
 
“Truly. My life has changed a lot. And you know what, Grace? I think it’s great.”
 
“So the transition is done? No more internal battles?”
 
“Well, I am curious to know whether my transition is done. I’m only eighteen and think I’ve got to grow up. And as far as inner battles, I still keep myself busy worrying about many things.”
 
“Some stuff is still grabbing me by the ankles and slowing me down. I’m not feeling dumb or slow like I have an underdeveloped brain. But it’s strange to think my guy friends aren’t as mature as Jenn or me, like puppies. I have a problem with my old friends who knew me as Terry.”
 
“Tell me.”
 
“Well, Jenn made a dinner reservation for the guys and us, just like old times. After a lot of gnashing teeth, I decided I should be Teri, spelled with one R ending in an I. I did not shrink away from appearing as female. That was a big hurdle for me, and with all my worrying, nothing happened,”
 
“Nothing?”
 
“Well, at first, I got called dude a bunch, but that’s just them. And, after all, I used to be that dude. But something did get weird. One of the guys pulled me aside. He wants to text and talk to me more privately. I’m worried about what might happen with that.”
 
“What do you think will happen?”
 
“He’s going to start treating me like a girl.” Teri took a deep breath. “Yeah, I finally said it. I mean, how would that go? I’d be a girl on a day date and end up sucking face with an old classmate who used to consider me a dude?”
 
Grace did her best not to smile. “Okay. So what do you want to do?”
 
“I like having friends, but not boyfriends. I have Jenn, who is more than enough as my girlfriend. Although recently, she’s getting weirder and weirder.”
 
“Why?”
 
“Well, it’s about this baby thing.”
 
“I remember you mentioning this before where she uses the same sperm that procreated you. At first, I thought it was crazy, but in a way, it’s very novel.”
 
“At first, it did sound cool. But the more I thought about it. Wouldn’t that make our own baby my brother or sister?”
 
Grace thought for a minute. “Half brother or sister. But you’re right. Jenn would be giving you a child that you’re related to. And while it does sound strange, you would have a child that is yours.”
 
“Well, now she wants to move forward with it this summer. She wants to use Zoe as her model.”
 
“Zoe Finley? In your band?”
 
“Yeah, she’s newly pregnant with Bruno.”
 
“I thought you guys were going on tour.”
 
“We are. And Zoe thinks that won’t interfere with the tour.”
 
“Well, it might be taxing for her to play for three hours each night.”
 
“Yeah. We’d tour with another band and be second on the bill. We’d play for ninety minutes and an encore to warm up the crowd and get our name out there.”
 
“Okay. But that theory is only good if you are second on the bill.”
 
“I can’t see us leading a tour. I see us as a second fiddle.”
 
“Well, if your band is the headliner, you’d play for at least two hours, maybe more. Zoe is young and in good shape. And you can spend money on a private chef and support people.”
 
“True. Has Gina said anything about our summer tour?”
 
“Not much. The record is dropping now, and Atlanta is the first show on the journey. It sounds to me like Warner’s ready to make you stars. I would have thought you’d know more.”
 
Teri thought for a minute. “I’ll bet Richard and Phil know more details but don’t want to scare us. They want us to get an arena show under our belts first. I don’t know how many dates we must hear about, but we will dance to their beat all summer.”
 
“So what will you say to your old friend when you call him?”
 
“Grace, I don’t have a clue and need help.”
 
“Well, you should let him do most of the talking. I’m sure he’s just as nervous as you are. What’s Jenn say?”
 
“She says she wants me to experience everything. But I think that’s a lie. I think she wants us to be exclusive.”
 
“And you?”
 
“Honestly, Grace, my body is so strange. I mean, I don’t get horny or lust for anyone. I still like looking at beautiful women, and guys are just not for me. Unless I’m high.”
 
Grace nodded for her to go on.
 
“Well, the only times I’ve lost control around guys is when I’m high. And when I make out, I like being restrained and have little orgasms and well….”
 
“Have you had penetrative sex with a guy?”
 
“Not with guys, but regularly with Jenn.”
 
“Do you have orgasms?”
 
“Wonderful orgasms. But now she wants to get pregnant, and she wants me to get shots so that I can nurse, too.”
 
“How’s that make you feel?”
 
“Like I’m being rushed. When she talks like that, I want to run away and hide.”
 
“Do you share those feelings with her?”
 
“No, not yet. I don’t want to argue or get her mad at me. But I need to face a lot of things I’ve been avoiding. I’m just having trouble dealing with some things.”
 
“Teri, avoiding those things that drive you crazy is just doing that. You need to confront all the issues that are bothering you. You don’t have to go along just to get along. You’re making progress, and I can see the changes in your demeanor. You are becoming a wonderful young woman, Teri.”
 
“Well, I don’t think I’m ready to be a parent, Grace. I’m not ready to be a nursing mother. It scares me, and everything is going on too fast. But how do I tell Jenn?”
 
Grace smiled. “Maybe we can pretend that I’m Jenn, and you can talk with me about your feelings. We can act it out and discuss it as we practice. Do you want to try?”
 
Teri shrugged, “Sure. But telling you that I love you is a little strange. I’m not sure that’s where I want to go.”
 
Grace smiled, “Okay, we’ll skip that part. Just start with small talk.”
 
She took a deep breath. “Hey, Jenn. What are you doing?”
 
“Oh, hi, Teri! I’m just looking at the cutest maternity dresses online. Wanna see?”
 
“Uh, sure.”
 
Grace nodded. “Good. Keep trying to see her side. Show some empathy.”
 
Teri smiled. “I think that one would look nice on you. The colors would complement your hair and skin tones.”
 
Grace gave her a thumbs up. “And Teri, you’re going to need nursing bras, too! Won’t it be fun to start shopping together?”
 
“Honestly? No. I love you too much for words, but you’re moving too fast. The whole idea is making me scared.”
 
Grace held up her hand. “Let’s stop for a minute. I want you to talk like an adult to another adult. I’m scared of what a child would say to a parent. To have a discussion, you need to present your thoughts as an equal if you want her to treat you as an adult and not a child.”
 
Teri was nodding before Grace had finished. “Okay, let’s try it again.” He took a deep breath. “Honestly, Jenn? No. I love you too much for words, but we’re moving too fast. I like what my mom said about how we should spend more time together for the two of us.”
 
Grace gave her a thumbs up. “But, Teri. Having a baby is something we can really share together.”
 
Teri nodded. “Yes, and that’s something I’m looking forward to. I love the idea of us having a great family. And I want to spend our lives together forever. But for now, I’m selfish and want more of you. The idea of you coming on our tour and sharing the experience is a memory we will have forever. It’s like coffee and the little donuts in the French Market each morning.”
 
“Sure, I remember our walks around the French Quarter. Discovering Cafe Du Monde, beignets and cafe au lait.”
 
“There’s going to be so much for us to see together.”
 
“But aren’t you going to get tired of me being your fifth wheel? I mean, seriously? Won’t I just be in the way?”
 
“No. I love being with you all the time. I’d be afraid of the opposite. I see you being bored because so much time will be spent with the band. Could you take college courses to fill your time?”
 
“Teri, let’s stop. There’s a problem with you suggesting things Jenn could do. Let her figure out what she’ll do when you’re being a Wildcat. Let her be her own self.”
 
Teri was nodding. “Okay, and thanks. I just hope it goes smoothly, you know.”
 
Grace shook her head. “It won’t go as well as what we just practiced together. But the trick is talking to each other as adults.”
 
“Oh, yeah. And my mom might be falling in love with Zoe’s dad, Conor Finley.
 
“How’s that make you feel?”
 
“Pretty good. I think she deserves to be happy.”
 
“Teri, I believe everyone deserves to be happy.”
 
“Uh, does that include you? How are you and Gina doing?”
 
“Very good. We have had more time together, and I love her even more. I know she loves me, and that’s all that matters.”
 
Teri thought for a minute. “Uh, one more thing. Should I be having experiences with other people, you know, kinda making out and having little orgasms?”
 
Grace smiled. “Only if you could handle Jenn doing the same thing. I believe you and Jenn need to discuss all those situations that might arise beforehand. Just picture Jenn with another person doing what you want to do.”
 
Teri became horrified. “Oh, no. I couldn’t handle it. But….”
 
Grace slid over to the couch. She turned to face Teri. She reached over, took Teri’s hands, and squeezed them firmly. Then Grace smiled and, still holding Teri’s hands very firmly, said, “I’m going to put away my professional hat for a minute and talk about Gina. She’s my love, and we’ve reached a point where it’s true love for both of us. But it’s not cheating if we both agree about having sex with others. Our big difference is that I’m more discrete.”
 
Teri stared with her mouth open. “Oh.”
 
Grace pulled her up closer by her hands. She did not let go; instead, she moved so close their bodies almost touched. Grace smiled and looked deeply into Teri’s eyes. She did not say anything.
 
Teri felt the warmth of her hands and the firm way she gripped her. She could feel the heat of Grace’s breath and smell her perfume. Looking at her beautiful face and perfect complexion, she briefly was lost in the deep pools of her brown eyes, full lips, and smile. Teri felt a surge run through her body, and a wave of pleasure went everywhere at once. She was happy that Grace was holding on to her because she was close to passing out.
 
Grace slowly let her go and smiled. “Our session’s been over for a few minutes, Teri. I know that Gina and Jenn have planned to join us for lunch and are probably out there waiting for us. I’m picturing something decadent and all gooey, maybe grilled cheese, tomato, and bacon!”