Camouflage

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the author withdrew this story because it created a strobing effect inside people's minds

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Great story,

Great story,
I'm loving the start of it. Please continue it. :)
Amanda

thank you

I plan to... so much still to share

Thank you

This story is sailing along pretty smoothly. My biggest question is whether I should post the entire novel here then take it down for publication or tie it off early. Lowell’s Vacation seems to be bombing on Kindle and I’m too close to it to explain why. I thought the finished product was really good, but I was wrong.

It’s not good for my writing to fail like that. It only adds to my low self-image and curbs my desire to try again. Boo hoo, huh? Sorry to whine but it’s strange.

Sorry, But

I'm Sorry, I never even cracked open the Vacation story. But, I'm really enjoying this one. Not being a gamer, not having to sit through a blow-by-blow description of the games is nice. It allows for better character development. I must say, when you gave Ethan's measurements the first time my thought was those are not the measurments of a fat boy. And sure enough, they wern't!

Ready for more of this! Soon, I hope!


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

Hey

I’m glad you found something you like. Vacation is gone now and on Kindle. Hope you continue to enjoy this

Nice big start

erin's picture

Well done, Leslie.

Needs some editing to tighten and clarify in a few places but wow, it's good. :)

I just had to make a cover for it. :)

camouflage-cov-001_0.jpg

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

thank you

thank you, Erin! It's great

Eventually, when I finish, it will live up to it's cover. Right now, it's having growing pains. I am totally loving my characters and story but am messing up what I publish here.

Maybe when I grow up, I will do better.

Expelling only the beginning

Jamie Lee's picture

Ethan's image of himself was fragile to begin with, and was completely shattered by what those two did to him at school. They weren't alone, though, as all of those students standing and laughing at him being naked are just as responsible.

And that gym teacher. His behavior was unexcusable. Besides firing him he should have been legally charged with abuse. It should also have been ensured he was permanently barred from the education system anywhere.

Besides getting expelled, did those two boy's parents do anything to their sons? Did the parents express any remorse for what their son's did? Were those two legally charged with anything, like abuse/harassment/a hate crime? Their actions completely shattered a boys life, and they were just expelled without other retributions?

What did the Principal do to those standing around and laughing at Ethan? Those students all should have received detention, loss of grades, something, because of just watching and laughing at Ethan because of what two AH did.

Is Ethan actually TG and doesn't realize it? Or is his hate of his body image so great he will do anything to hide it? Has he had a complete physical? Maybe his body image is caused by something more than lack of doing more than gaming?

It's good to see this story is continuing. It will be interesting to see if Emma can help Ethan gain a better impression of himself.

Others have feelings too.

Yea, Jamie Lee

We’re going to put you in charge to right all the wrongs.

In reference to your questions, I honestly don’t know what’s going to happen. I’m having fun with my characters and just feeling my way through this one. So far, I haven’t painted myself into a corner