Growing up, everyone would have said I was a quiet kid. Brooke, who lived directly across the street, was my best friend. After school, I would go over to her house. We’d do our homework at the dining room table when her mom was there. If Mrs. Dombrowski worked the afternoon shift at the hospital, we’d head to Brooke's bedroom.

Brooke had a typical girl’s bedroom with too many pillows, too many ruffles, and shelves full of dolls. She liked to play with dolls, and I’d play along. I never told her how much I enjoyed these sessions but was afraid to share my feelings. Boys shouldn't enjoy playing with dolls.

Playing dolls meant we'd add a complete story of dialogue to the dolls as we held them. Sometimes, we'd each have a baby doll talking gibberish or be the moms taking care of our infants. Other times, we'd each choose a Barbie and dress them while we pretended to be that Barbie. We always discussed boys and fashion. I loved playing along with her fantasies because, secretly, they were mine, too.

On her twelfth birthday, Brooke got a special Barbie—a Bridal Barbie. She wore a long, flowing white gown, white high heels, a blue garter, and underwear. I’d never seen Barbie wearing a thong and a bustier. I must have stared for too long because Brooke started to tease me.

“Howard, I can’t believe you’ve never seen wedding lingerie before.”

All I could do was shake my head and nod. I gulped. “It’s beautiful.”

Brooke hugged me tightly and whispered in my ear. “You want to see the real thing?”

I only nodded as she took my hand and led me into her mom’s room.

The next thing I knew, she was pulling clothing from hangers and drawers. I watched in amazement at her efficiency. She handed everything to me and grabbed a pair of white high heels. She grinned. “C’mon, let’s make you a Barbie bride.”

I had trouble hearing because my heart was pounding hard. “Me?”

Brooke grinned. “Sure! You know you’d love it. I saw you trembling the first time you saw her gown. Come on, Howard. You know you want to try. Right?”

All I could do was nod.

Everything was a blur. I remember getting undressed, and Brooke slid a pair of panties up my legs. She giggled at my Willie and squeezed it as she pushed it back between my legs. I think I moaned but never protested. Brooke kept dressing me one piece at a time, just like she’d do with a doll.

After that, I remember her holding my arm and having me stand in front of the mirror. Through tears, I saw a young girl, maybe twelve years old, standing in a wedding dress. Everything looked right.

I stood there staring, feeling the tears running down my cheeks and wetting my neck. The next thing I knew, Brooke was holding me tight as I sobbed.

After a while, we sat on the bed, holding each other. Brooke squeezed me tightly and occasionally kissed my face. It took me a while to stop crying.

When I finally stopped, Brooke smiled. “You lost it there, didn't you? I knew you were keeping a big secret, and I’m glad this finally happened. I think I always knew.”

I started crying again. “I’m so ashamed.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m all messed up inside. I never wanted to tell anyone. How come you don’t hate me?”

This only made Brooke hug me tighter. “I love you, Howard. You’re my best friend. But I always knew you were a girl. We played together too many times, and you made such a good Barbie when we played. And you never wanted to be a Ken. But let's get you out of my mom’s dress and package it back up. I don’t want it to get wrinkled. We can find you other clothes to wear.”

I let Brooke help me step out of her mom’s dress and then peel off her lingerie. I had to grin when she grabbed my Willie again.

She looked up, smiling at my face. “You know, this is my first Willie. I’ve always wondered what it would feel like.”

I moaned, and then it erupted in her hand. We were both shocked, but Brooke smiled. She stuck a finger in the pool in the palm of her hand and put it in her mouth. Then she scooped up another finger and stuck it in mine.

“It tastes different. And it’s quite slimy. Do you like it?”

I shrugged and didn’t want to say I’d tasted it before.

Suddenly, she kissed me, went to her drawers, and pulled underwear and a yellow dress from her closet. She held it up to me for approval, and I nodded.

From then on, things changed.