Dear Readers, Thank you very much for continuing to sample a new Wildcats story. As you read, think about a few questions. (1.) Is it clear? (2.) How much background do you feel you need to read the new one? (3.) What would you like to see?

Chapter Two
 
     Terry watched Phil manipulate a bank of sliding controls on the big console that Warner’s installed in the new studio. He turned and said, “It’s great! We can fine-tune the sound coming from your instruments and the mics as we record. We control the volume and quality of each individual input. Warner’s also installed mics around the room to record a live sound. Everything feeds through twenty-four tracks here.”
     “Sounds impressive, Phil. Let’s give it a try. I’ll go out and noodle around with a guitar.” Terry left the booth and grinned as he picked his Fender Telecaster off the stand. Lisa had given him her old Stratocaster she’d bought in a pawn shop. Sid Mack’s Allentown Music provided the new Gibson Flying Vee in exchange for public appearances. But the best one was an early Telecaster that Zoe’s dad had gifted Tasha.
    Terry went to the wall and pressed a few buttons on an electric metronome. After getting a good beat, he strapped himself in. Turning on his small studio amp, he ran his fingers along the strings and the fretboard. Holding a pick in his right hand, Terry struck a few notes using his left hand to bend the notes a half step or more. He thought of Buddy Guy or Muddy Waters and wanted to achieve a Chicago blues sound.
     Terry warmed up for a few minutes, then looked at the glass booth. Phil was waiting for a cue and clicked the bright red button. A lighted sign above the plate glass window said LIVE.
     As the metronome ticked off a slow beat, Terry could hear the entire band playing inside his head. It was easy to feel Gina’s bass drum, her sticks banging out a 2/4 time. Tiffany’s bass would melodically find the rhythm and lay down a walking beat. Zoe would chose a counterpoint to his lead. And his sister, Lisa, would use their synthesizers playing piano and Hammond Organ.
     Usually, the band warmed up by playing one of Terry’s compositions, Two-Thirty Blues. Of course, the women heard a tortured love song. They never suspected that he was whining about last period study hall waiting for the bell to ring.
     No one heard the band playing except Terry. It was how his brain worked. Terry closed his eyes and felt the music run through him. He was at the top of a hill looking around at fields of wildflowers under a blue sky. He could hear the bees buzzing and the birds chirping.
     When Terry finally returned to the present, he wiped the tears from his eyes and smiled as he felt the weight lifting from his shoulder.   
     Of course the tears were a reminder of his overactive emotional state. Hormones blasting through his system caused him to experience a lot of new feelings. Terry frowned as he pictured a line of high school cheerleaders yelling out, ‘Yeah, Estrogen!’
     Terry was still struggling with his intersex diagnosis. He realized he wasn’t driving the bus. These days, he was barely hanging on for the ride. Tasha was in charge and driving the bus.
     As he wiped down the neck and put the guitar back in the rack, he thought about the album they’d be recording. Richard had reminded them, “Better songs were downloaded as singles. And you know Warner’s wanted Wildcat hits to flood the world this summer.
     Lisa smiled. “We’ll give Warner’s twenty songs, our greatest stuff. And each song will the best version we can record.”
     Tiffany was nodding. “Good thinking. I say we work for the next few weeks playing and recording those numbers. We smooth out the kinks playing a Rendezvous weekend. and an afternoon concert for Sid Mack on his rooftop in downtown Allentown. We’ll be ready to lay down our final tracks before we fly to Atlanta.”
     Zoe nodded. “Field tests make sense.”
     Terry smiled, but was still worried. His fear sent chills down his spine. Filling an arena with fans paying a hundred bucks a seat seemed daunting. The band wondered if they were as good as all the hype. And when Richard talked about the Atlanta stage, it got worse. “It’s a hockey arena, kids. They held the NBA All-Star game there. It can hold up to 16,000 in the stands, not counting the seats they can put on the floor.”
     Hearing that, they turned to each other and shook their heads. None of them felt confident about this. They hoped talking to Bill Wiggins would ease their concerns.
     In the meantime, Terry wandered over to the booth.
     Phil smiled. “Your guitar sounded great! Are you ready to hear your sound?”
     Terry was nodding as Phil played the music through the studio monitors. He was listening critically. “The sound is great. Could you make it more three-dimensional?”
     Phil nodded and showed him where the controls were located. “We can even run auto-tuning, too. But I wouldn’t want to remove the imperfections. It would sound too AI.”
     Terry smiled. “You’ll have your hands full when we start recording this afternoon.”
     Phil chuckled.“Yep. I’ve already given Richard notice. He’ll be in here working with me to get sound recording levels on everything. It’s the first time the studio is ready to record and the Wildcats need to give it a name.”
     “What?” Terry shook his head.
     “Sure. Your studio will get a recording credit if you plan to record EBR here. I already heard your reference to Music From Big Pink, the band’s first album.
     Terry was smiling. “Those guys were consummate musicians.”
     The eighteen-year-old amazed Phil. Terry had a very unique gift when it came to music.
     A studio name. Terry thought about all the famous recording studios. Muscle Shoals in Alabama, Electric Lady in New York, Paramount Studios in LA, AIR studio in Montserrat, and Sigma Sound Studios right in Philly were his favorites. While their little basement outfit would never touch those shrines, it would be fun to give it a name.
     As Terry was thinking about the studio, his phone rang. He looked down to see that it was Jenn calling. “Give me a minute, Phil. I want to talk to Jenn.” He turned and walked outside. “Hey, lover! How you doin'?”
     “Lover!” Terry heard a man’s laugh. “No. It’s Tony, dude. Your lover’s standing right here with me. We bumped into each other getting coffee. Jenn and I decided to get the whole gang together. But Jenn said we needed a nicer place than my garage apartment. She suggested we have dinner in a restaurant. She said you’ll treat cause you’re so rich!”
     Terry was trying to understand what he was hearing. OMG, Tony! A while back, he and Jenn dropped by to visit those guys before his planned intersex announcement went public. In just a few quick minutes, he’d explained to them that the fifth member of the Wildcats wasn’t a sexy twenty-two-year-old rocker chick but their nerdy high school buddy who’s discovered he was intersex. They hadn’t spent any time with the new Terry. He felt like he was still on shaky ground talking to his old buddies, especially Tony who couldn’t stop talking about the new hot chick, Tasha. “Sure, Tony. Great idea! Now, put my scheduling director on.”
     “Great, see ya soon, dude.”
     He was trying to keep his mind from spinning with the ‘what ifs’. Dude? He was far from a dude anymore.
     Then he heard Jenn’s voice. “Hi, Honey! Surprise!”
     “Yeah, Jenn. Surprise, surprise. Uh, what’s going on?”
     “Aw. I can hear it in your voice. You’re getting all crazy worrying about this meet-up. It’s going to be good medicine, Rock Star. The sooner you start interacting with your old friends, the better you’ll feel. You’re getting worked up over this Terry/Tasha thing. Hiding out in the Wildcats world is safe and secure, but you’re missing out on the Allentown laughs. Public stuff like rides at Dorney Park with Brian, Don, and Tony.”
     Terry sighed, “I’m trying to visualize hanging with the guys but keep seeing myself wearing Jersey Girl. Seriously, Jenn. What’s hanging with the guys going to do? I think you’re shooting from the hip here with psychobabble. Seriously, I don’t need any help.”
     Jenn laughed. “Oh, I agree, lover. You’re perfect in every way. But, come on. You’re a wallflower. After everyone gets past your look, it’s going to be fun. You know, the same old, same old.”
     “Uh, sure. Everything’s going to be great for you. Except they’re going to be staring at Terry in a dress. Their old friend is a joke, a freak.”
     “You’re a beautiful freak. And they will have trouble taking their eyes off of beautiful you.”
     “Yeah. Everybody stares at the pretend woman from another planet.” He could hear Jenn laughing. “C’mon, it’s not funny. I’m not ready to be a woman in a public setting. I don’t want to be sexualized.”
     “Listen to you, sexualized! I understand. You have no incentive to look as pretty as you do on stage. Terry, I’m your coach. I’ll help you dress, and we can downplay the new girl growing  in you.”
     “I don’t have to hide with the Wildcats, but you’re stretching my mental limits. Terry’s not ready for PrimeTime!”
     “C’mon, Terry. You won’t have to act differently or pretend you’re something you’re not. The outside world knows about Tasha of the Wildcats. But in Allentown, Terry can be who he wants to be.”
     “Uh, thanks, Doc. Great advice to get my head spinning. I’ll be too sick with worry to enjoy this. By the way, when are you arranging this public execution, oops,  gathering?”
     “For tomorrow night. I’ve made a reservation at Buddha Thai. It’s upscale enough to keep your gang under control.”
     “Okay, sure. I can see it now. I’ll be the appetizer along with hot and sour soup, summer rolls, and dumplings. Look at the boy in the dress using chopsticks.”
     “Stop overthinking this, Terry. I’ll hold your hand and it’ll work out. You’ll be thanking me afterward.”
     Terry tried to imagine what his friends would be seeing. Today, he wore a cropped tee shirt, lightweight leggings, ankle socks, and low sneakers. Of course, he was wearing a thong and a bra. He needed a thong for tucking, and his boobs were almost filling an A cup. When he went without a bra, his nipples reacted. They grew and were visible. He stopped and glanced at his reflection in the glass-mirrored recording booth. He’d gotten so used to adding mascara and lip stain. And now, with his shaped eyebrows, there was no mistaking his girly face. And piercings! His tattoos! Everything yelled out girly!
     He cursed under his breath. His fantasy Wildcat life would crash into his old Allentown world tomorrow night. Thinking about a dinner with his high school buddies was making him crazy. He needed to stop playing the ‘what if’ games inside his brain.
     When Terry walked back into the studio, both Zoe and Lisa were getting lessons from Phil. He tried to smile even though his brain was bouncing all over the place. “Hey!”
     Lisa hugged him. Zoe gave him quizzical look. She sensed something was wrong.
     Lisa was sharing. “Gina’s picking up Tif and bringing out an early dinner. Her mom’s sending over a vegetable lasagna and a big green salad. Come on. Follow me up to the dining room.”
     As Terry followed them upstairs, Zoe grabbed his arm and leaned into his ear. “Something’s wrong. It’s written all over your face. Let’s talk later.”
     Terry relaxed. Knowing he’d be airing his craziness with Zoe made him feel better. Walking up the steps, he did his best imitation of their beautiful blonde bass player. “You know, I can hear Tiffany letting go on Richard and Phil. She’d be saying, ‘We need a good Chianti! Something rich and full-bodied to go with this delicious food.’”
     As he finished his imitation, Tiffany stood there holding a big lasagna in an insulated pouch. “Yeah, Little! You know it. It’s a sin to eat a great homemade pasta dish without a proper red wine.” She stared at Phil, directing her comment at his face. “But, it looks like mom’s eating with us tonight. Our prison warden!”
     Phil held up two hands in surrender. “Hey! You guys have a month to make a record and I’m a big believer that all work and no play makes Tiffany a boring Wildcat. So, get out the wine glasses, and we can toast to our new, unnamed studio. Oh, and please stop calling me mom. Uncle Phil will suffice!”
     Gina was carrying the big bowl of salad. “Hey, gang! Did I hear Uncle Phil say we can toast with wine? Coincidently, my mom sent over two bottles from my dad’s cellar.”
     As they all gathered in the dining room, Phil talked about Atlanta. “I hope you’re ready to try out an arena. This hockey stadium in Atlanta is perfect. They’ve held plenty of concerts, and the acoustics are great. If you have any questions or concerns, Bill Wiggins is arranging a video call after lunch. In the meantime, how about limiting yourselves to one glass and drinking lots of water? I want you to remember to stay hydrated.”
     As they munched, Terry looked at each of them. No one seemed too concerned about doing a show in an arena. He hoped that Warner’s head honcho would have some words of encouragement.
     An hour later, everyone gathered in front of their big screen in the living room. After exchanging pleasantries, William Wiggins started their meeting.
     “So, Ladies! How does it feel to find yourselves rocketing into the big time?”
     Tiffany spoke out first. “Honestly, I’m scared about Atlanta. We’ve played to bigger audiences in New Orleans. But my big fear is we won’t sell out and have to play in a half-empty building. The Press would love to write about how the Wildcats fizzled out before they got started!”
     Terry looked around to see everyone nodding.
     Wiggins smiled. “I hear what you’re saying, Tiffany. It’s a valid concern and I’m sure your biggest fear is failure. But, remember. You’re an experienced band and know how to handle all your problems. You solve all your dilemmas and are confident that you've got it covered whatever comes your way, whether it’s a broken guitar string or an electrical problem.”
     The Wildcats smiled as Bill Wiggins continued. “Okay. Let’s talk about Gimli and what experience he brings to this evening. The man has been in the business for twenty years and specializes in selling tickets in Atlanta. He has partners and won’t gamble with their money. He’s a sharp promoter, and if he’s confident that the Wildcats can sell tickets. We need to focus on that. Gimli wants to start promoting a show for the last week in May. I say we give him the green light.”
      Lisa raised her hand. “We don’t want to look foolish or like losers. Up until a short while ago, we handled everything. Now we rely on professionals to steer us in the right direction. It’s disconcerting.”
     “Right. I hear you. Phil and Richard are great people, and are good for you. Gina Dinardo’s dad is an excellent lawyer and financial advisor. And I’m confident you’ll be a sell-out in Atlanta. I see you selling out everywhere you appear throughout your summer tour.”
     “Are they all ten thousand-seat arenas? We can do that?” Zoe looked skeptical.
     Wiggins looked confident. “Yep. I bet you’ll be sold out in every town you visit. We’re going to be working hard to help drive the band’s success. Warner’s has the team and the experience. We’ve got contacts everywhere you play. Our advance people will start the ball rolling. We’ll have you interviewing with local radio station personalities, podcasters, online influencers, and on TV talk shows. After a while it just becomes a job. You’ll find yourselves answering the same softball questions over and over again.”
     Bill Wiggins took a sip of water. “Not all your shows will be 10,000 seats. Certainly, weekends will be packed. We’ll all pitch in to drum up the audiences everywhere you go. You’ll be performing at State Fairs and festivals. Eventually, it all becomes a blur.”
     “We’re not afraid of work.” Tiffany nodded.
     “Well, remember that you have national fame now. People recognize you from YouTube, the Ellen Show, and the Tonight Show. Your website is constantly getting money for downloads. This band needs to realize how much buzz is going around. Your Fur Face song is an underground hit. You’re always being posted on Instagram in your furry costumes. You’ve got fans.”
     Lisa smiled remembering how she was recognized in Nashville down in the tourist section. It was disarming, but she was glad to have her hunky cowboy with her. “Well, how about merchandising?”
“Good question. We have all the photos from your cover shoot. Posters, a tour souvenir book, tee shirts and apparel from Jersey Girl are being made to sell for the tour. A merch crew has been hired to tour with you. Set design, sound, and lighting are being dialed up right now. We’ll be testing all of that out in Atlanta.”
     Terry watched them look at each other. They didn’t look convinced.
     William Wiggins sighed. “Okay, well, I’ll let you in on a secret. Your hockey rink seats sixteen thousand in the stands and even more on the floor. But, if ticket sales lag, they can drag a huge curtain across half the stadium, and it will be a half-full house. They call that a dance party.”
     Terry raised his hand. “Thank you. I’m feeling better. We’re just starting to work on the album, which is our first day in the studio.”
     “Good. Speaking of your album, I just heard a rough cut of your live side, and it’s being sent out to you today. Remember, it’s a rough cut, so you might hear some electrical hiss or a balance problem that hasn’t been cleaned up yet. It’s one of the best live albums I’ve heard. When we release the double album in early June, you’ll easily sell out places. Trust me.”
     After everyone said their goodbyes, they went downstairs to their instruments. Richard appeared back in the booth as Phil’s assistant, and they were getting levels on the mics and instruments. Everyone wore headphones to hear the directions and talk without yelling.
     After ten minutes, Phil quietly said, “I think we’re ready. Turn it loose, Wildcats. Play “Run, Run, Gone” at full speed.”
     Everyone turned and grinned. This was the moment they’d been looking forward to for days. They kept their headphones on to muffle the sound and protect their hearing. They were overjoyed finding a familiar spot, playing what they knew so well. And when Phil played it back to them, they couldn’t get the grins off their faces. As their lives were becoming more complex and decisions had their heads spinning, music soothed their minds.
     They spent the rest of the afternoon laying down tracks and listening to them. Around eight o’clock, Richard kicked them out of the studio and told them that was it. “Go relax and let off some steam. We’ll start again down here tomorrow afternoon.”
     As they put their instruments away, Tiffany yelled, “We’ll be running tomorrow at ten am. And we need to hire a personal chef to start eating healthier.”
     Everyone stopped and turned to look at her. “Sure. To start the day, someone should leave the refrigerator full of fresh fruit, smoothies, and whole grain muffins. They can also prepare calorie-conscious lunches and dinners. I’m not getting fat while we sit around recording. I’m going to need to fit in my wedding dress.”
     Gina laughed. “The big question will be our bridesmaid's dresses. Right, Terry?”
     He was used to the banter. “If Tasha’s going to be a bridesmaid, the bride’s gotta wear pink. We can call Tiffany’s old designer from Jersey Girl. He’ll gladly make the whole ensemble for you!”
     Naturally, everyone laughed as they took Richard’s encouragement seriously. It was a cue to call their honeys and disappear. Gina drove her mom’s car into Philly where Grace kept a small place. Tiffany disappeared with Mike with a smile.
     Lisa collected Smith from upstairs. As they were headed out, she turned to Terry. “Hey, we’re going out to eat. Can we bring something back for you?”
     “Thanks. I’m calling Jenn now. We’ll do something.” He waved as he reached for his phone. “Hey.”
     “Hey, yourself. You ready for me?”
     “I will be after I get a shower.”
     “You hungry?”
     “Hungry for you.”
     “Well, I’m hungry. So I’m taking you out to eat. Warning, I’m dressing nice.”
     With that, Terry disconnected. He wandered upstairs and dropped all his clothes in his hamper. It was getting full, which meant he needed to do his laundry. He walked across the hall to the third-floor bathroom and turned on the water.
     While waiting for it to warm up, he stared at the mirror. Before it fogged up from the steam, he stared at a teen girl whom he would have asked out.
     He was drying off when Jenn popped in. She immediately pulled the towel away and held him in her arms. The contact heated him up, and he felt like he was melting. “Mmm.”
     Jenn smiled and bit his lower lip hard enough to get his attention. “You’re dressing up for dinner tonight. Let’s get a move on. Our reservation is in thirty minutes.”
     Terry wasn’t thinking; he just followed Jenn’s orders. His closet was packed with Wildcat outfits and it didn’t take him long to pick out Jersey Girl’s idea of a jumpsuit. It was light gray and the material seemed to glow. It had cap sleeves and tight leggings. It zipped up in the middle with a wide black zipper. He slipped on ankle-length boots.
     He looked over to see Jenn picking out a cocktail dress. It was a strapless corset-style top with a pleated skirt. The fabric was dark blue with silver threads running through it. Terry watched her slip on matching pantyhose. With that outfit, she didn’t need panties or a bra. Locating the three-inch matching heels only took a minute.
     As she was looking herself over, she noticed Terry staring. “What?”
     “When Jersey Girl sent that one to me, I never considered it. You own it!”
     Jenn kissed him, then smiled. “I enjoy looking good for my beautiful Rock Star.”
     Once dressed, Terry added product to his hair and combed it straight back. The top was longer and dyed silver. The sides were close cut allowing his light brown hair to frame his multiple piercings.
     He watched Jenn apply her makeup. When she saw him watching, she smiled. “You’re lucky that Glow Cosmetics gave you such a wonderful makeover. With your dyed eyelashes you can forgo mascara and eye shadow. And with your shaped and lightly dyed eyebrows, you don’t need to do anything. You have such young skin.”
     As they drove off in Jenn’s car, his stomach grew tight. “Please don’t tell me that tonight's dinner is with the guys. Please.”
     Jenn laughed. “I am cruel and mean, girl, but would never kick your feet out from under you. No. Tonight’s dinner is with my mom and your mom. I think it’s time we all get together. My mom wants to make sure your family is acceptable. You know, no two-headed mutants.”
     “Seriously? She’s worried about my mom?”
     “No. I think she wants to meet the woman that raised you.”
     “What’s she going to think about me all Tasha’d out like this?”
     “Oh, honey. Your mom has seen you dressed up a million times now. But my mom only recalls the skinny kid I haven’t stopped talking about for the past two years. She’s never met the woman I love.”
     Terry gripped his seat rest tightly and moaned quietly. “I don’t know about this.”
     Jenn smiled and patted his thigh. “Honey, you’re going to be fine. Fine.”
     Later as they lay in bed together, Jenn curled up on Terry’s chest. “I think you make the best love after you’ve had a near-death experience.”
     He sighed. “You’re right. That’s what this felt like throughout the evening. I thought I was going to die several times. The worst was when you announced your sperm bank plan. I thought both moms was going to kill you.”
     “Well, after my mom’s scolding, you heard me promise I would wait until I got my Masters and my career going before I’d make little Terrys.”
     “Yeah. For the rest of the night your mom looked at me like I was as crazy as you are. She stared at me like I was the sex fiend who wanted to impregnate her innocent, saintly daughter. Even after I explained my intersex dilemma and that I’m impotent and sterile, I don’t think she believed me.”
     “Well, Terry. Your mom defended the sperm bank. And the way she proudly told her story, I knew my mom instantly loved her. My mom had to raise the two of us all on her own after my deadbeat dad abandoned us. That’s how we ended up in Allentown. She was broke, and this advertising agency needed an East Coast representative.”
     “In all this time I’ve known you, where’s your sister? How come I haven’t met her? Is there a problem?"
     “No. My sister and I get along well. I applied to some Universities in the Chicago area. My sister lives in Chicago. She has a business, a home, a dog, and a lover out there. We were raised in Washington DC, not Allentown. When we moved here, she was already in school. She doesn’t call Allentown home.”
     Jenn got up on her knees and reached for a Kleenex.
     “That’s where my mom stays when she’s out in Chicago on business. Even though mom’s central offices are in the windy city, she works the entire East Coast.”
     “You don’t talk about your sister much.”
     “Oh, it’s not at all like that. We are great and I talk to her a lot. We have separate lives, and she likes to draw some lines.”
     “Why?”
     “Well, my sister stepped out of the lines a while back. She has this successful clothing boutique that is doing great. She’d even had offers to sell out. My sister, Julia, financed her clothing boutique by working in the adult film industry. She did one of those pay-per-view daily shows pandering to voyeurs. She was quite popular with removing her clothes and putting them back on. But once she made enough money, Julia retired. So my mother has trouble dealing with the shade attached to her.”
     “Is that a problem for you?”
     “Not for me. She even offered to introduce me to her old agent if I ever wanted to make a lot of money.”
     Terry laughed. “Well, Jenn. You can do whatever you want, and I’ll support you. It would be a status symbol for a Rock Star to have an adult film actress for a girlfriend. You and my mom can have all my money. Together we’ll have enough money for a lifetime. The Wildcats are just getting started.”
     “Yeah, sometimes I think my sister’s need to make money that way was her way of releasing the anger she had after our father ruined our lives.” Jenn shook her head. “Looking at my sister you would never know that she’d spent three years showing off her body for money. I will give her credit. She drew a line and never had sex online. All she did was get herself naked and talk to people. She used to joke that it was therapy for many lonely men. She’d spent her time in different lingerie.”
     Terry nodded. “When I meet her, does she keep all that a secret now?”
     “No. She never denies it but has to be constantly wary of stalkers and predators from her old life. It isn't very easy. When she retired from that life, she disappeared from that scene completely.”
     “You know, I understand your sister’s fears, which brings me another thought. Will we have a problem with the weird people? The Wildcats will be pushed out into the public eye when we start to tour. Will we need security to keep people from bothering us?”
     Jenn shook her head. “Good point. People are going to be interested in you. But what happens when people start to hear about a gay drummer and an intersex guitar player in a band of women? I wonder what creeps will come out of the woodwork? Lots of crazies!”
     Suddenly, Jenn looked shocked, realizing who she was talking to. “Oh, Terry. I’m sorry I forgot that you know all about crazy people. I guess you need to talk to Bill Wiggins and Jessica Jade. She and her fiancee might end up joining your tour as security.”
     “Yeah, how's it going to work? Are we going to be in hotels every night or playing a lot of nights for two weeks and then coming back to Allentown for some down time?
     “I’m sure all those questions will be answered soon enough. I suggest asking Richard tomorrow morning. And don’t forget, tomorrow is your coming-out dinner!”
     “Ah, Jenn. Don’t remind me. I’m so nervous out right now. Dressing up in front of your mom and mine was a deep breath. It’s different being dressed and on stage. Dinner was real. There wasn’t any doubt that looking at me, I'd turned the corner. I’ve become a woman.”
     “Terry, honey. You look beautiful, and you’re a Wildcat. You love it. Maybe someday, you’ll embrace Tasha fully.”
     She pushed him down with her hands resting on his shoulders. “Just remember that being a woman doesn’t mean you need a man around to fulfill you. I know how much you love to be held and kissed. But don’t get confused over that. Everyone loves to be held and kissed. Don’t start shaming yourself because you let yourself go. You’ve discovered what turns you on. You love to get high and be squeezed and kissed. I know because that’s what we do together. And sure, you’ve gotten stoned and kissed a boy. You were enjoying the whole physical thing. That rush was pleasureful and your inhibitions let you enjoy yourself. I don’t think there’s anything gay when you’re intersex. I think you love everyone, boy or girl. That’s not bad.”
     “That was the longest speech I’ve ever heard you say. You might be right. Sometimes, I lose myself in Tasha and forget who I am.”
     “It’s whom, not who. Sorry, too many hours prepping for the GED. I don’t want to sound like a broken record, Terry, baby. Here's a big secret-you are Tasha! The two of you share a body.”
     “Ha, ha.”
     “Let’s face it, Rock Star. Remember that word transitioning?”
     “You mean like moving from one sex to another?”
     “Sure. I think you need to relax your rules about sex.”
     He stared directly at her. “That’s easy for you to say because you weren’t standing there while I was making out.”
     “Okay, ask yourself. If I’m there and you’re high, who would you choose?”
     Terry thought for a minute. “Who’s in charge? I don’t trust Tasha. All joking aside, you are always number one.”
     “Woah! You gotta share that with Grace.”
     “What? You mean not trusting Tasha. Yeah, but it’s all getting strange. Too many of the things I love are girly. That could be who I am. I get so confused.”
     Terry could feel the tears starting to flow from his eyes. “Look at me! I’m crying like a girl. I’m ready to sob into my pillow.”
     Jenn held her lover tightly in her arms. They’d both gotten undressed and were wearing tees. Jenn felt Terry’s breasts as he sobbed and his chest heaved. “It’s okay. Nobody has to know about your loves and fears. It’s okay to feel beautiful. It’s okay to like to look at yourself in the mirror.”
     Terry stopped sobbing and turned to look at her. “How’d you know?”
     “Oh, honey. All of us cry in the shower and all of us look in the mirror. You forget that it’s not all girly. Guys are the same way. And yes, guys cry, too. It’s not the estrogen that’s making you into a different person. It’s you. It’s always been your nature, but you denied that. You were afraid to got there.”
     “Huh?”
     “Sure. You’ve written sad songs, beautiful torch songs about love. That’s been you since I first heard you. And you’ve always been a skinny, quiet person who is happy just being part of a group. The cats love you because you’re a caring, loving person. There’s not a mean bone in your body. They see that and would all take a bullet for you.”
     Terry was listening. He realized that Jenn had been sitting watching all those times while the guys horsed around playing video games. “Jenn, what happens to everything I’ve done with the guys when I appear looking like this? I can’t do a fake Terry thing anymore. It’s so weird, but this is me.” Once again, tears were streaming down his cheeks.
     “You’re the same Terry. Sure, the undiscovered part of you is emerging rapidly. You’ve never been able to digest or run with it. Just imagine if all of this was happening in the classroom. Imagine changing so much daily that you can’t hide your changing body or even your expanding mind.”
     Terry started laughing. “You know, I first imagined an alien inhabiting a woman’s body trying to move among the Earthlings. Slowly, that alien started to morph inside and out until the creature was the Earth woman.”
     Jenn sat up on her knees and kissed him on the mouth. “You’re living that story. I like the fact that the story’s not over. It’s still happening. Ya gotta love it!”
     Terry grabbed her hard and pulled her down into his arms. “I think it’s my turn to be on top!”