another piece of the pie....it would have to be blueberry because they're in season right now....thanks for reading, writing, and leaving those kudos, too
Dear Diary,
If I was a fifteen-year-old, I would be excited right now. See, this guy I know, we used to be friends. To him, I guess I was just one of the guys. But now things have changed. Well, maybe it’s just me that’s changed. And now, this friend of mine, let’s just call him Don. Well, this friend of mine, out of nowhere, wants to talk, text, whatever!
But I’m not fifteen, I’m not even a girl! I’m a shapeshifter. I used to be like the skinniest guy in the class. No muscles, no development. At least I grew. Five foot nine is okay.
But now I’m shapeshifting. I’m starting to really look like a girl. So when my hips and butt started getting bigger, I wondered. My nipples got huge, and these boobies started popping out! Like no warning!
Well, I ran to the doctors. I had tests. But the changes kept happening. Good news. I’m not dying, I’m just intersex. It’s a biological thing. I’m told my body started this puberty maybe two years ago.
"I just don’t know, Jenn. He says he wants to talk or text. How’s that going to work. What’s he gonna say? It is creepy to think he might like me? What did you do when the guys wanted to single you out?
Jenn laughed. “Honey, it was really simple for me. I just told them that my heart belonged to another. I kept it short and simple. But c’mon, Rock Star. I told you to watch out. I noticed Don’s been staring at you. He was memorizing everything about you. And now you’re handling it like a fifteen-year-old girl! Whatcha gonna do? Are you going to practice writing his name in big, curly letters in your notebook? Dreaming about his lips?”
“God, Jenn! I’m regretting telling you anything about what’s happened. I never should have told you about kissing guys!”
“Fine. Don’t tell me anything. Maybe that’s the best way to get rid of me. Cool. Hope you find true love and happiness.”
“I’m seeing it now. You’re jealous! You think cause I’m turning into a female, I wanna have a boyfriend. You’re starting a fight cause you’re in a bitchy mood worrying about losing me! Is it cause I’m gonna be rich?”
Jenn stood there staring at him. There’d been no place for a costume change at Allentown Music. Tasha’s over-the-top Jersey Girl stage outfit and makeup remained on while Tasha and the band posed for selfies with fans and signed autographs.
Jenn couldn’t take her eyes off her the whole time they threw barbs at each other. She’d been with him since before noon. But she only had time to kiss him before he went out on stage. But as soon as he heard the screaming and clapping, she watched him change as soon as he hit the first note on his strings. And she looked happy, excited, and very Tasha.
Jenn watched her play, and then they hugged and kissed afterward.
Later, as she watched and listened from behind a counter, Jenn realized that her boyfriend, Terry, had definitely changed. This new three-dimensional Teri/Tasha was amazing. There were no boy gestures or boy-style talking. No, this was just how Lisa was handling this scene. Teri/Tasha were confident and beautiful. She signed autographs, posed for group selfies, and talked, talked, and talked over at the music store with the other Wildcats. Jenn had never seen her so energized, so excited. She wondered if that last kiss before Terry went on stage was the last one they’d ever have together. She’d be kissing Tasha from now on.
The first thing Tasha did when she walked into the bedroom was pull off the top and capris. “I don’t think these pants breathed at all. I was running around on stage wearing a rubber suit in the hot sunlight!” She took a towel and wiped herself off.
Jenn watched as Tasha prepared to take off her stage makeup and cold cream her face. She back-brushed her hair, curling the ends. She gathered her silver strands with a practiced hand and pulled them into a high ponytail. She picked a few tendrils loose that she sprayed and curled. She played with it in the mirror until she seemed satisfied. Jenn watched her smile contentedly. Then, after she washed and moisturized, Tasha carefully did her eyes with mascara, then used her fingers to add color stain to her lips.
She slipped on a clean tan thong and tucked it as she got the underwear in place. She pulled out a cute white lace bra and put it on.
Jenn watched as Tasha pulled up a tan tennis skirt and added a tight white tee. At that point, Jenn was trying to keep up with what was happening and what she should be thinking. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear a skirt. It looks cute on you.”
“Does it? I wondered. Do you think it’s too short? I feel like it barely covers my butt. Yeah, my crotch is so overheated that the idea of wearing capris feels hot and heavy. You’ll tell me the truth. Am I too tall for this skirt?”
“No. It looks cute, and it does accent your butt. But I like it.”
“Jenn, I’m sorry if I lost it on you. I was feeling so good after the show. I mean, I was supercharged. It was a feeling I’d already forgotten. Boy, what an adrenaline rush. I mean, I’m still high.”
“There’s nothing to apologize for. I understand how having an old friend approach you is a little scary. But you need to know what he’s going to say. He might just want to talk, but didn’t you say you wanted to have more friends?"
“I do. But having Don as a friend is weird. I mean, we have a history. He was buds with Terry. And let’s face it, that Terry has left the building.”
Jenn blinked. “So are you finally the new Terry with an i? T-E-R-I? Or should I start calling you Tasha? You tell me.”
He looked at her and wiped his eyes like he was trying to stop a tear. “Uh, definitely not Tasha. Anybody that uses that name is talking to a Wildcat. I want my friends to keep calling me Terry, but I don’t have to correct spelling if it’s with an i.”
Teri stood up. “But I still have a problem with where you want our relationship to go. I have been totally upfront with you to the point of transparency. You seriously know my life inside and out. I think that’s important. I love you and am afraid that is getting ready to change.”
He started to pace around the room. “Here’s what’s bothering me. You remember when Gina was sad because she and Grace were on the outs. It had been weeks, and they weren’t talking. At that time, the three of us were walking on the paths around the house, and you whispered to Gina that she could have a romp with me to help her feel better. Do you remember?”
Jenn nodded.
“Well, when we went to North Carolina to do the movie, you told me that I had a responsibility to cheer her up. And so I did. And then I told you. Right?”
Jenn nodded and wiped a tear from her eye.
“Okay. So I’ve told you about kissing Amos and the sailor when I’d been drugged. And I told you how I made out with the guy at the Underground when I got high. And you know that I had an orgasm when I was getting my first tattoo from Bruno holding me down. And I was getting high and kissing with Gina at the same time. Right?"
He stopped. “So my question is, why do you keep pushing me to have real sex with strange guys? Why do you keep pushing me away? You’re telling me to leave the nest and fly away. Are you saying you’re done with me and want me to move on?”
Jenn had tears rolling down her face, and she made no move to wipe them. She just stood there and slowly shook her head back and forth. “No. I don’t want you to leave me. I am so deeply in love with you that I thought we were saying goodbye before the show. Because after the show, you were who you wanted to be. I get the Tasha on stage thing, but you really are Teri spelled with an i. I just thought you’d outgrown me.”
Teri took two steps and scooped Jenn up in her arms. “No, no, no. Never. I am always going to be yours, and I want you and I to have three kids - one boy, one girl, and one crazy intersex kid that we can love forever.”
Jenn sobbed into Teri’s thin white tee, and she could feel the dampness seeping into her bra and boob. She held her girlfriend tightly, rocking her in her arms. “I love you, Jenn. You are my heart, you are half my brain, you are everything.”
As they pulled each other’s clothes off, Jenn laughed. “Aw, and you looked so nice after doing your hair and makeup. And yes, your skirt is fine, but I think your legs are too long. But we’ll find something for you to keep your crotch dry and properly covered. But not now. Now I want to see you naked and in that bed.”
Later, after they both showered, Jenn helped Teri pick out a cute, sleeveless, beige summer dress with tiny tan hearts all over it. She assured her that it was the perfect length. She showed her by giving her a smack on the butt.
Teri yelped and grabbed her hand. “Uh, that hurt and felt good at the same time. Would you do it again?” She laughed.
“Oh, my girlfriend is just so evil. I think I might have to paddle some good sense into her!”
“Uh, speaking of good sense, what should I say to Don?”
“I don’t know. Talking on the phone is safe. You can always ask him to hold on while you mute it and think about what to say. Just don’t be lulled into having to help the sad guy out like Bruno did to you. Start off talking slowly and keep the pace relaxed. You can always find an excuse to hang up. Like, tell him that Jenn is calling you.”
“That makes me sound like your pet!”
“You are my pet. And if you can’t behave, you’ll get punished. Maybe I need to buy you a collar.”
“The first weekend, I was dressing up as Tasha, I wore a dog collar as a choker.”
“Uh-huh. I missed that one. But I should be wearing leather. I could be a great dominatrix.
“Uh, Tiffany was reading that Shades of Grey book cause she thought she looked good in black leather.”
“Whatever came of that?”
“No much. But Zoe and I were inspired to start our bad boys song. I still need to work on that. I need to write something to replace our use of the Stones, Paint It Black.”
“Okay. You’re calm enough. Go ahead and text Don and see if he wants to talk.”
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Comments
Teri
Progress!
There are girls that spell their name Terry for what it's worth but, hey, gender is in the eye of the beholder.
The funny thing is, my legal name is still my original name which luckily is sorta androgynous though I ask people to call me Kim or Kimmie.
Anyway, when the two halves of the transcontinental railroad finally meet, will we see a golden spike put in to mark that occasion?
It would be that monumental !
As for Don, as Teri is further along on this journey, she/they might be able to act as a mentor and as they say in the 'King and I' it is by your pupils that you are taught. Teaching someone focuses the thinking in the teacher.
It would be awesome that Teri may one day sing the T-anthem sung by Whitney, 'The Greatest Love of All' and mean it.
Cliche, I know, but I remember it fondly from 1986 when I when to my first P-town outing.
Testing this all out
Dear Kimmie,
Thank you for writing. I’m not sure about my sanity in 7.1. I think I went too fast and threw Terry into the deep end of the story. I might take a few moments of reflection and rethink the big switch. I enjoyed the tug of war Terry was experiencing.
This has to become a different story now. The whole world will see the same Teri/Tasha, but what’s going to be happening inside her brain? Is the fight over?
I wasn’t ready to make this a sugar sweet story.
(sigh)
Terry's forward movement
Well it hinges on a number of factors including: a) How much foundation you want to justify the amount of forward progress the character is changing per unit of time. This is by no means a linear thing but to keep a character suspended too long in one state for too long is frustrating to the reader. b) How many more stories you would want to carry on with the character at that stages of their progression. The Gaby stories by Mads Bell is an extreme case of the character's development being stretched out for extreme lengths of time but somehow it gets managed. But even there some progression happens.
There was once a TV program called 'Joan of Arcadia' where we have a modern day Joan of Arc type character that talked to God and did what she could to follow what was wanted. However, to me, they overdid it on the serious side of series with oppressive sermonizing and doing horrible stuff to Joan's life and to those around her just because she has to do God's will. There was No Joy, No Relief from it all for the characters in that series. Not surprisingly it only lasted 2 seasons. The series's props and outfits wound up being auctioned on ebay where I purchased a couple of things including one of Amber Tamblyn's jackets (stage worn).
Wildcat's is not even close to this extreme. Terry is able to experience true joy and aspects of his progression. I am not suggesting that Terry not have any angst at all. But what can be portrayed is how often the angst pops its ugly head. The degree of angst that shows up on those occasions is up to you.
Look, I look forward to having a nice long series. The characters are not standing still in their lives. So map out how far you think this series keeps interests for you and plan accordingly an end point that coincides with that interest so you can plan a fruitful conclusion.
Hmmm
Thank you for your insight. I really thought I was done when I reached the end of rewriting all the Cats stories into one with TBBOW. I am not the kind of writer that likes to tie things up in neat bows. I hate to end stories or kill off my favorite characters. I’d rather let the reader write more story in their heads. Or maybe I’m just lazy.
But the temptation to bring them back was a difficult decision to make. I don’t like to beat a dead horse and was afraid of Jumping The Shark with this tale. But, I am getting so much satisfaction writing this that it has become an obsession.
I hope the title reflects my goal of covering the summer story with them. It really is a suspension of reality that the band gets heard and rewarded after all those years of slogging along. And it will never become Teri and the Wildcats. She will always be learning and maybe having fun along the way.
There will be the question of time and place. I’m sure the record company will have them barnstorming the US and trying to get the album to the top of the charts. It will be interesting to see how the crowds respond to such strong women in these times. Scary, huh
My real dream is having the story made into a Graphic Novel. Artists can do a lot with AI to lower their labor costs. I think my target audience might relate to that form of message.
I guarantee that the story will not be over at the end of the summer. But you might have to write the rest yourself.
I agree with Jenn
HER name is Terri not Terry and talking to Don on the phone is a safe start. I like how they talked things out about their relationship & worked things out with OUT a big fight. I can see Tasha as a stage name and Terri every other time. OFF STAGE. One suggestion I still have is other than reading & trying to guess where we are in bold type tell us where the setting is either Allen town music, Wild Cats house, Philly, Atlanta where evere.
Love Samantha Renée Heart.
A good point
I will emphasize the location inside the band house and make that clear. Thanks.
I kinda rushed my story a bit. I’m not convinced that Terry flipped the switch. I’d thought he’d be the last one to let it go.
Hi Leslie,
Hi Leslie,
I must say that this has been one of my favourite chapters throughout the entire series. Other than when they punked Tiffany about talking to Brad Pitt.
This is the first time that Terry has taken control of their relationship and taken on Jen as an equal. Asked "why are you pushing me away? Don't you want me anymore"? Terry has always portrayed the demons but this time Terry has taken the bull by the horns and controlled the conversation without dissolving.
This had Terry as an equal in control for a change. Do I think Terry has flipped the switch? Hell no, the convo with Amy shows that but when Tasha hits the stage, Terry is at peace with music and the rush of the crowd!
Thank you for this chapter
Cheers
Amanda
Flipping the switch
Dear Amanda,
I am so glad you are enjoying the story. Kimmie asked me why not call it “Wildcats Summer”? (Now there’s a rule broken about that quotation mark and the question mark.) Speaking of flipping, I know that they flip sometimes. And I know you’re on to something there with our eighteen-year-old. Teri has found enough strength to maybe stand on two feet for a while thanks to his adrenaline rush.
It might be time to take a look at another Cat or two while she wobbles along. And visiting the Rendezvous should be fun. We’ll have to see, won’t we?
PS: I’m losing my audience. The read number is falling of the cliff. Am I posting too much, too fast? (And maybe that question mark needs to be pushed back where it belongs. Rules!)
Dear Leslie,
Dear Leslie,
I honestly think this is some of your best work with the Wildcats and I think this story is almost writing itself with you as the director. It has so much potential to go in so many different ways and remain a great story. It has always been one of my favorite series, hence I have every book from the originals to the Big Book and no doubt will buy this one also. I think I have enjoyed this story so much because I love music so much.
I also think that readship will always run in ebbs and flows. I will admit that I read 7 before I went to a nightshift and then next thing 7.1 was there when I got home. I normally don't comment on stories but you specifically asked for comments and as I said, I am not a writer, just an ER Nurse in Australia that looks forward to every chapter. I hope I have been able to provide good feedback for you :)
Cheers
Amanda
Thank you
Dear Amanda,
First, let me thank you for your service. I can’t start to image night work and the amount of dedication it takes to commit to such a heartfelt task.
Second, thank you for reading and writing. Obviously, the Cats are very close to my heart, but it is warming to hear that someone else loves them as much as I do. You are right, the story sometimes writes itself. It’s a pretty simple tale, not much depth or complexity. I question whether I am a good writer or just keep writing until what’s in my head appears on the paper.
I’m writing about Teri’s session with Grace Goldman and I hear them both talking in my head. I hear Teri’s doubts and excitement. Listening to him, I’m constantly reminded that she’s 18. On the other hand, Grace is patiently trying to help her find clarity without telling her what she should do.
BTW: Grammarly is having fits trying to help keep my pronouns aligned. He, She, Her, Him have all frustrated her to no end. Just like Grace, she’s only looking out for my own good.
Third. It’s so nice to think out loud here in BigCloset. I can express my self-doubts and know someone actually hears what’s I am saying. You are a doll for writing back and I personally want to thank you for caring.
Don't Stop The Music
Terry can't help but become Tasha when the band is playing. It's only a matter of time before Terry merges with Terri, but there is real love between Jenn and Terri and I want that to continue. Still, that's the author's decision.
Jenn
Jenn plays an important role in the story. Regardless of their relationship, she is the sounding board and the sensible one. She is totally in love with her and committed to her happiness. I think she would sacrifice herself but that’s not going to happen. I don’t think we’ve seen her limits yet, but Teri sometimes tests her patience.
I don’t know what’s going to happen when the Cats start touring and Teri has to focus on a new challenge. Since the rest of the band are used to the struggle of touring, they are prepared. Teri is not. She is still trying to figure it all out.
I believe in true love.
touring
i doubt Jenn or Teri either are ready for the stresses of touring .having to be apart the loneliness the temptations have destroyed so many relationships are the strong enough and wise enough to withstand the pressures added to that is the added that Teri`s issues thats alot to deal with there is some lyrics from an old song comes to mind
" She said she saw me in the record stores
And that I must be doing well
I said the audience was heavenly
But the traveling was Hell
We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to now
We tried to reach beyond the emptiness
But neither one knew how"
Same Old Lang Syne
by Dan Fogelberg
thought provoking
Dear Lisa Charlene,
Wow. I had to Google that Dan Fogelberg song and listen carefully, trying to imagine what it was like for him.
I think the Wildcats saving grace will be Lisa’s contact with Smith and EBR. Their ongoing love affair, while Eaten reassembles, should help smooth the bumps on the road. After all, Eaten By Raptors toured in the big time as kids.
After four years of campaigning to break through, the four original Wildcats are seasoned road warriors. But you are right. Neither Teri nor Jenn are prepared. I’m picturing the whole band fighting across a post-apocalyptic Australian wasteland in a George Allen - Mad Max production.
And maybe the road should become the metaphorical antagonist in the next part of this tale.
Great food for thought! Thank you!
(The best thing about flying this plane while we’re building it means no guard rails!)
Wildcat 7.1 Jenn and Terry (1)
This is becoming complicated; there are places you should indicate who is talking it may be obvious to you, but not necessarily so to the readers.
This 7.1 gives me an appreciation for their relationship and how much more it isn't very easy with the dynamic of friends, Teri is caught up in being Tasha as the music takes off. Teri is so much into the music.
Jessie C
Jessica E. Connors
Jessica Connors
Awesome
Thank you very much for pointing out the rough spots. They need correcting and will be done ASAP. That is my fault. Since I hear the voices and see the faces, I take it for granted that the reader must travel with me. I don't want to confuse or lose anyone because of bad storywriting. Thank you again for that whip across my hands. It is well deserved, eh?